Think you've got what it takes to hit the court at the Toyota Center? We're not talking about your dribbling skills here. The Houston Rockets are looking for additional entertainers for their games and events. Houston Idol -- The Rockets Talent Search is hosting auditions today for dancers, breakers, jumpers, anthem singers and just about anyone else who thinks they've got what it takes to keep the crowd entertained when the big dudes aren't elbowing each other on the court. Show 'em your chops at 5 p.m. Drink Houston, 7620 Katy Freeway. For information, visit www.nba.com/rockets. Free.
Friday, May 28
If you're tired of the antiseptic feel of most art galleries, then you've got to check out "Never Mind," a one-day art show in a house occupied by purported anarchists. The show features the work of four artists (Aleena Worfe, Frank Olson, Sean Carroll and Caleb) who have created works on paper that approach issues of sanity from radically different perspectives. Hey, were you expecting consensus in a house of anarchists? Do your own thing from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. House Gallery, 4802 La Branch. For information, call 832-724-9464. Free.
Danny Elfman is probably the coolest movie composer on the planet. His work has appeared in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Weird Science, Beetlejuice, Batman, Edward Scissorhands, Mission: Impossible, Mars Attacks!, Men in Black, Good Will Hunting, Sleepy Hollow, Hulk and Big Fish. Whew! And that's not even the half of it. But before he became the go-to guy for Hollywood bigwigs, and the creator of the Simpsons theme, he helped out his brother, director Richard Elfman, by composing the original score for Forbidden Zone. You can check out this strange 1980 flick, starring Hervé Villechaize, at midnight tonight. Be sure to keep an eye out for Danny's appearance as the devil. Today and Saturday, May 29. Landmark River Oaks Theatre, 2009 West Gray. For information, call 713-866-8881 or visit www.landmarktheatres.com. $6 to $8.
Saturday, May 29
If you haven't seen The Vagina Monologues yet, then now's the time to do it. "Why?" you might ask. Well, because proceeds from East-End Theatre Company's performance of this Obie-winning play benefit the Women's Resource and Crisis Center of Galveston County. Hell, even if you have already seen it, you should still check it out for the cause (and the fact that you get to hear women talking about their nether-regions). Don't pussyfoot on the road down to G-town. 8 p.m. today and Friday, May 28. 2001 Postoffice in Galveston. For information, call 409-762-3556. $40.
Sunday, May 30
The Wiez is back. That's right: Pauly Shore, the strung-out, mumbling fool from MTV's Totally Pauly is back on the scene, spreading the word about his new movie, You'll Never Wiez in This Town Again. In a self-deprecating move, Shore has written a flick about how he fell off the Hollywood radar a few years ago. "In the entertainment business, when you're as big as I was and then you're not around, people are immediately aware of that," he says. "So I wanted to make fun of it as opposed to be dramatic about it." The film touts an impressive list of cameos, including Ben Stiller, Britney Spears, Chris Rock and Dr. Dre. "I figured no one wanted to see me anymore, so I might as well stock it with people they wanted to see, right?" He might be right. The truth will come out tonight at the Improv, where Shore is slated to do some stand-up. Go see if the Wiez can still draw 'em in. 8 p.m. today; 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday, May 28 and 29. 7620 Katy Freeway. For information, call 713-333-8800 or visit www.improv.com. $25.
Monday, May 31
It's Memorial Day, a day that's supposed to be a time for us to remember those who have sacrificed their lives for our country. So, before you get all bloated on barbecue and booze, be sure to give thanks for your freedoms -- especially your freedom of assembly. Today there'll be a bunch of people assembling at Stewart Beach for the last day of the Texas South Beach Music Festival. On the Memorial Day bill (and on the sand), you've got the Stone Kings, Monica Marie and the Blues, and Mean Gene Kelton and the Die Hards. Grab a blanket, kick back and be proud to be an American. 1 p.m. today, Saturday and Sunday, May 29 through 31. 701 Seawall Boulevard. For information, call 409-765-5023. $15 per day.
Tuesday, June 1
"This is your chance to get smashed and talk trash about me," says artist Tanzy Keiko on her Web site. She's talking about the opening for her "Art Too Big for Your Refrigerator" exhibition at Brasil. Keiko's work is fun, often featuring human figures depicted in a childlike manner. Who knows what she's got planned for this show? One thing's for sure, though: If it had to be described in a game of 20 Questions, it'd definitely be bigger than a breadbox. The exhibition opens from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. today. On view through July 30. 2604 Dunlavy. For information, call 713-528-1993. Free.
Wednesday, June 2
It's summertime, which means all you parents out there are frantically trying to keep your kids busy. Instead of dropping 'em off at the pool, why not sprinkle a little culture into their lives with a day of classical music? Now, we know you're probably thinking that there's no way your little tykes are going to want to listen to horns and violins when they can be outside running around, but the Houston Symphony has figured out a way to trick 'em into appreciating the fine timbre of an oboe. For the "Sounds Like Fun!" summer concert series, the good folks at the symphony are performing works inspired by sports. By the time your kids figure out that there's no actual swinging or dunking involved, we bet they'll be too entertained to care. And even if we're wrong, they've still got a whole summer of cannonballs and swan dives ahead of them. 10:30 a.m. St. Mark's Lutheran Church, 1515 Hillendahl. For information, call 713-224-7575 or visit www.houstonsympony.org. Free.