The world's freaks can be divided up roughly into two categories: social and antisocial. Your typical antisocial perv stands on the sidelines at kinky events with his hands in his pockets, ogling the action just a little too intently. After 17 beers, he'll get up his nerve and approach an attractive girl. Staring at her boobs, he'll ask to buy her a drink and -- of course -- be denied. Luckily, the fun freaks usually outnumber other kind at events like Hedonism2's Fetish Ball. Expect latex, whips, collars and chains. An Erotic Cabaret fashion show should get everybody in the mood, but for those who need help accessing their inner perviness, the drinks will be cheap: $1 well drinks and beers from 9 p.m. to 11 p.m., and $2 well drinks and $3 beers after that. Doors open at 9 p.m. Fashion show at 12:30 a.m. Rich's, 2401 San Jacinto. For information, call 713-759-9606 or visit www.richs-houston.com. $5 cover; free for females before midnight.
Friday, June 20
Yoko Ono. The woman does what she wants -- including coloring in John Lennon's drawings years after his death. "It feels right to me," she told Blue Dog Magazine. "Some people might think, 'Is that proper?' But I felt that this was something for me to decide, whatever other people might think about it. What can you do about what other people might think?" The "In My Life" exhibit of works includes drawings Lennon did for his son Sean, signed Lennon albums and song manuscripts. Of the drawings, some are originals and some prints. And in case you're wondering, yes, the fruits of the creepy posthumous collaboration between Lennon and Ono will be up for sale. 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. today; 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Saturday, June 21; and 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday, June 22. Galleria II, 5085 Westheimer, second floor. For information, call 1-888-278-1969. Free.
Saturday, June 21
It may not be as good as the real thing, but "verbal domination" is probably damn exciting. Today, Jamie Callan reads her monologue, "Talk About Sex: An Orientation," at the Rebekah Lodge in the Heights. Hers is an intellectual brand of smut, which isn't surprising considering she teaches fiction and screenwriting at Yale and studied with Spalding Gray. The monologue, which features a dominatrix laying down some ground rules with her client, is all about talk, not touch. Apparently the work has turned on the right people, because it was included in Best American Erotica 2002. And you've gotta hand it to Callan for mounting the podium. It's one thing to write dirty fiction, and quite another to read it in front of a group. 8 p.m. 1404 Allston. For information, call the Foundation for Modern Music at 713-529-3928 or visit www.modernmusic.org. $15.
Sunday, June 22
On the off chance that somebody gives a shit, June is National Accordion Awareness Month, National Iced Tea Month, National Rose Month and National Seafood Month. It's also International Men's Month, and NiaMoves Houston is celebrating with its "Nia Warriors Commitment Class." The Nia technique blends Eastern and Western movements, combining tai chi, tae kwon do, aikido, Duncan dance, jazz, the Alexander technique, Feldenkrais and yoga. And as an extra incentive to all the lazies out there, today's class will be free. 4 p.m. NiaMoves Houston, 4040 Milam. For information, call 832-567-4550 or visit www.niamoves.org.
Monday, June 23
The only thing you can learn about dating from shows like Blind Date is that planned activities really help the evening progress. If you've got a date tonight, you should have made it for later in the week. But what's done is done, so head to Purple Glaze, where the two of you can paint ceramics, brushing hands while reaching for the stencils and sponges. The activity will give you guys something to chat about. And best of all, long after the evening -- and the person -- have passed from your life, you'll have your very own microwavable, dishwashable coffee mug, bowl or plate. 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays; 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Wednesdays; and noon to 5 p.m. Sundays. 4617 Montrose, suite C190. For information, call 713-520-8645. $6 per person per hour, plus the cost of the ceramics piece.
Tuesday, June 24
Here's a worthy way to spend an evening. Today, the Houston Independent Media Center presents a series of films about the Landless Workers Movement in Brazil. Ocupação Anita Garibaldi tells how thousands of homeless people have occupied a piece of land outside of São Paulo, creating their own society. Repórteres Populares shows how Brazil's poor people living in the favelas can organize using the Internet. And Raiz Fuerte follows Pedro, Antonio and Luis as they search for dignity, justice and a piece of land to call their own. 7:30 p.m. Rice Media Center, entrance no. 8 (University Boulevard at Stockton Drive). For information, call 713-412-2625 or visit www.houston.indymedia.org. $5.
Wednesday, June 25
Alternative people have been lining up outside Numbers for 25 years now. That's a long time. The club's first wave of alternative people are middle-aged now, and their kids probably have no idea they were once alternative -- that is, unless they have telltale tattoos. To commemorate the milestone, Numbers is throwing itself a 25th anniversary party, with 25 events throughout June and July. The party kicks off today with drink specials all night long and lots of free stuff, such as anniversary Zippos and T-shirts, CDs and posters. DJ Wes Wallace spins. Doors open at 9 p.m. 300 Westheimer. For information, call 713-526-6511 or visit www.numbersnightclub.com.