Today, why not surround yourself with models and fine-ass cars? Fashion Group International is hosting an event called Fashionably Loud in the grand showroom of Mercedes-Benz Star Motor Cars. Award-winning local designers Alex Chapman, Jenny MacNeil and Uyen Thanh will be showing their fall lines. You can sample Skyy cocktails while staring at beautiful women and, say, a 280 SL. But be warned: This event could lend itself to perverted fantasies involving hoods of cars. The Fashionably Loud after-party will be held at M Bar, where the free cocktails will continue to flow -- if, and only if, you attended the fashion show and have the tickets to prove it. Show: 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. 7000 Old Katy Road. Party: 10 p.m. to midnight. 402 Main. For information, call 713-405-5588. $25.
Friday, July 25
If you're horny, we wouldn't recommend wasting your hard-earned dough at strip clubs. Just get a girlfriend/boyfriend -- or, if you must, meet somebody at a bar. Then you'll actually be allowed to touch the other person, rather than get all riled up with no release in sight. Nevertheless, today we recommend Casino Night at The Men's Club. If you, um, play your cards right, you could get something from them for a change. All you have to do is win at craps, black jack or roulette -- and you'll get power cards, passes and dinners at the club. There will be some excellent drink specials, too, so as long as you don't befriend someone named Bambi who really seems to have a thing for you in particular, you can get in and out without breaking the bank. 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. 3303 Sage Road. For information, call 713-629-7900. Price depends on your level of self-control.
Saturday, July 26
Two new works are opening at Theatre New West. Judy's Friend/Marilyn's Boy, by local playwright Diana Howie, consists of two one-act monologues -- one by a character who played a Munchkin in The Wizard of Oz who's obsessed with Judy Garland, and the other by Marilyn Monroe's alleged son. And The Only Thing Worse You Could Have Told Me, by Dan Butler (who played Bulldog on Frasier and performed in the play's first production), will take the audience on a tour of the American landscape and portray ten characters, mostly gay, in 14 vignettes. Judy's Friend/Marilyn's Boy: 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays from Friday, July 25, to September 20. The Only Thing Worse You Could Have Told Me: 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays from Friday, August 8, through October 4. Theatre New West, 1415 California. For reservations, call 713-522-2204. $20.
Can you do a McTwist? If so, then head to Vans Skatepark, where the Mountain Dew Free Flow Tour is making its only Texas stop today. Up-and-coming skaters will take the ramps "jam-style," meaning they'll all roll back and forth together -- which sounds terribly frightening, but whatev. The most bad-ass thrashers stand a chance of being picked for Mountain Dew's Free Flow Skateboard Team. And everybody will get T-shirts, wristbands, stickers, custom grip tape for their boards and "plenty of Dew." Bonus: Carlos De Andrade will be on hand, skating and signing autographs. 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. 7620 Katy Freeway, 713-681-9750. For information, visit www.mountaindew.com. $5 entry fee.
Sunday, July 27
People, a chance like this doesn't roll around very often. Kid -- of Kid 'n Play fame -- is coming to Houston. Christopher "Kid" Reid, has-been rapper and star of House Party and its many sequels, has turned to stand-up comedy. Not one to change a tried-and-true formula, Reid calls his show Comedy House Party (although we do have to give him credit for lopping off his trademark flattop). He performs with the piano-playing Houston police officer-turned-comedian Billy D. Washington. 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday, and 8 p.m. today at the Comedy Showcase, 12547 Gulf Freeway. For information, call 281-481-1188. $15.
Monday, July 28
Has anybody ever made you feel like a piece of meat? Carol Adams, author of The Sexual Politics of Meat, explores the ways female bodies and body parts are used in the media, meat industry ads, menus and billboards. The work combines feminism, vegetarianism, animal defense and literary theory. To drive home her point, the author has created a slide show containing some rather disturbing images lifted from meat ads. In one, a pig with a big round ass looks over its shoulder at you, begging you to take a bite. Other images include pigs in bikinis and a hunter virtually straddling his spoils. Today's program features abstract improv by singers Teresa Kolo and Brandi Morgan, as well as DJ Maria Chavez. There will also be an open-mike session. 6 p.m. music and open mike; 7:30 p.m. slide presentation and book-signing. Azteca's, 2207 Richmond, 713-526-1702. For information, e-mail [email protected]. Donations requested.
Tuesday, July 29
Mo Mong has great crab claws and martinis, and at the moment, it's got a great art exhibition, too. Inspired by the two-story restaurant's open, vertigo-inducing feel, Patrick Medrano has created a site-specific show called "The Weight." Right when you walk in, you'll see a large collection of individual sculptures of leather-masked characters that seem frozen in a violent, twisted motion. Lots of Medrano's pieces are interactive, and he wants you to touch them, move them, blow smoke into them and otherwise get to know them. His new pencil sketches are also on view. You have until Thursday, July 31, to see "The Weight." 1201 Westheimer. For information, call 713-524-5664.
Wednesday, July 30
Sarah Strohmeyer, author of Bubbles Unbound and Bubbles in Trouble, has struck again. In Bubbles Ablaze, heroine Bubbles Yablonsky, News-Times reporter, sets out to get a story and finds an abandoned coal mine, a dead guy and the love of her life, knocked unconscious. Moments later, there's a big explosion, and Bubbles starts thinking that maybe somebody's out to get her. The case leads her to the Main Mane hair salon and a group of women known as the Sirens of Slagville. Like Bubbles, Strohmeyer herself is a journo, having written for The Boston Globe, Cleveland's Plain Dealer and Salon.com. She reads and signs copies of Bubbles Ablaze at 6:30 p.m. at Murder by the Book, 2342 Bissonnet. For information, call 713-524-8597. Free.