Thong and Dance

FRI 9/10

If you've ever been to a nude beach, you're painfully aware of the Murphy's Law that governs them: There's almost never anyone you'd actually want to see naked running around, sunbathing or playing volleyball. With that in mind, we were a little skeptical when we heard about the No Pants Party at Union Bar. Oh, sure, it sounds good; drink specials and bumpin' music from Animals of the Bible, the AmBASSadors, Boys & Girls Club DJs, Stiletto and the Cheezy Cracka Collective. But there's that nagging fear of sauntering in only to find people who look like your uncle grinding on the dance floor in nothing but their tighty whities or (gulp) a banana hammock. "Well, the no-pants thing is only optional," says Damon Allen, who's throwing the party. "But we want to make it really fun for people who do participate. We're trying to help people be more secure with who they are."

Allen says his shindig was inspired by the Avenue D club in New York and by only, the wildly popular Cleveland-based panty-party Web site. Allen is confident his first No Pants event will have a "totally casual, welcoming" vibe. "You've shed your first layer, so to speak," he says, "so you're bound to have a good time." Dress up, down or in your BVDs. Just be sure to come up with something better than "Boxers or briefs?" for your opener. 9 p.m. Friday, September 10. 202 Tuam. For information, call 713-529-5296 or visit $5. -- Steven Devadanam

The Cantina At Hobby Airport's Bloody Mary

Time to get away. I headed to the airport with no real plans, just a shoulder bag containing two clean shirts, my breathing apparatus and what was left of my Valium, along with a complimentary ticket from Southwest Airlines. What more did I need? I ordered a Bloody Mary from the cantina just inside the departure entrance at Hobby Airport (7800 Airport Boulevard, 713-640-3000) and pondered the possibilities. There was one open table in the fenced-in "beer garden." The entire crowd seemed to be lost in assorted magazines, except for this dude hitting on these two chicks barely old enough to drink. Dressed in an oversize basketball jersey and pounds of gold jewelry, he was using every move he knew. The scene was entertaining, but it came to a screeching halt when he bent over to reach for something in his gym bag. No one saw it coming. His necklace got caught on the metal table and nearly snapped his neck. When he jerked back, he knocked the table with such force that all three drinks took a tumble. The girls couldn't stop laughing, and I damn near choked on my olives. I finished my drink and got out of there. I was now free to move about the country.

1-1/2 ounces Absolut vodka
2 ounces Campbell's tomato juice
Splash of Worcestershire sauce
2 olives
Lime wedge

Measure out vodka and tomato juice in plastic cup filled with ice. Add a splash or two of Worcestershire sauce and any hot sauce you have in your bar. Garnish with olives and lime wedge. Great before, during and after church. -- J.W. Crooker

Black to the Party

THU 9/9

Sippora owner Amy Meyers likes gallerygoers to match the art she shows. At "Blue," revelers strolled the gallery attired in said hue. At the "Erotica" show, viewers dressed sexy and there was a trunk show by Erotic Cabaret. And at Sippora's anniversary show, "Black & White," featuring works by various artists and an appearance by artist Pam Reingold, Meyers will be at it again. So throw on that polka-dot dress or pinstriped suit -- anyone in black-and-white receives free admission and a discount on most works. 6 p.m. Thursday, September 9. 234 West Gray. For information, call 713-520-1085 or visit Free. -- Eric A.T. Dieckman

Caritas Ritas

THU 9/9

Thursday-night drinking is typically a guilty pleasure, but it's a pure pleasure if you're drinking for charity. The Houston Margarita Society, a 24-year-old not-for-profit organization that supports charities for disadvantaged children in the Houston area, is hosting (what else?) a margarita mixer to benefit Children's Charity Assistance of Houston. Mingle with young professionals, enjoy drink specials and free appetizers and -- if you schmooze just right -- snag an invite to the upcoming Houston Margarita Ball. (Ah, yes, the social season is almost upon us.) 6 p.m. Thursday, September 9. Post Oak Grill, 1415 S. Post Oak Lane. For information, call 713-993-9966 or visit $5. -- Julia Ramey

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