Sex in video games is an odd thing. For instance, Kratos is allowed to off-screen bang Aphrodite so hard and well in God of War III that her handmaids are overcome by lust and start going to town on each other. You even get rewards for executing this scene correctly. Yet, for a long time sex in games was a big no-no, as they were seen as a children's toy only, and even today it's still pretty scarce. Some designers managed to slip in some cheeky smut every now and then.

Sigh... Just to get it out of the way, Grand Theft Auto: San Adreas had a sex minigame built in that was ultimately cut. However, because some of the animations were used elsewhere, they couldn't just delete it without screwing up another part of the game. The answer was to just make it inaccessible, but a download patch re-enabled the minigame resulting in lawsuits, recalls, and a puritanical brouhaha. Literally the next year, Kratos began his regular sex conquests openly, so who the hell knows why the world went so insane over this?

In level 5-5 of Kirby's Dream Land 2, the level design is supposed to resemble a naked woman's crotch, boobs, and smiling face. Not the most erotic thing ever, especially on a tiny Game Boy screen, but still pretty risqué for what was definitely a game meant for young children.

The only reason I can think of why the Tolkien estate didn't sue Naughty Dog over the RPG Rings of Power on the Genesis was because the game was so bad it would've been like beating up a guy with Down Syndrome. Naughty Dog did slip in a code, though, that would change their logo to the image of a bare-breasted blond by holding down-right and A, B, C, and Start on controller two as the game booted up.

ColecoVision's Smurf game could be beaten in less than four minutes, but it did have one thing that made it worth playing. Due to a programming glitch, if you crouch down just as you beat the game Smurfette's white dress will disappear revealing her naked body for a brief second.

How Banjo Kazooie got an E-rating is beyond knowing. The game is full of hidden curse words, sexual innuendo, and at least one map that is shaped like a cock and balls ejaculating onto a set of hills that look like an ass. Any other game I would write it off as a coincidence, but not this one.

In the Ice Palace you fight living spellbooks that will turn to the page that dictates the spell that they'll use on you. Occasionally, though, they'll flip open to a cheesecake drawing of a naked woman lying on her stomach. It's rare enough that Nintendo censors probably missed it, even though Square has done this sort of thing before.

The Saturn is the hipster system that gamers claim to own and you totally don't understand. Well, I owned one, and the majority of people are right, it wasn't very good. They did give us a game that really made finishing a game worth it. If you beat Enemy Zero on normal, then start a new game on hard, the protagonist Laura will open the game by taking a shower.

The Philips CD-I game system is mostly remembered for making sure Nintendo would never let anyone else ever make games based on their properties by making some extremely bad Legend of Zelda spin-offs. It also had a great point and click adventure called the Apprentice, which featured a naughty extra that you could enter at the game over screen that would reward you with naked anime girls. Skip to 4:30 for the action.

If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.

SHOW ME HOW

X

Newsletters

_{All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.}

• No Thanks
• Sign Up

X

SUCCESS!

You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!

There's an argument that downloadable content is the bane of the modern video game experience, but the third-person shooter Saboteur certainly knew how to sell it. Customers that pre-ordered the game got a code that would make the dancer in a burlesque show appear topless. If for some reason you didn't have the code, the modification could be downloaded.

Elexis Sinclair, the antagonist from the SiN games, is widely regarded as the most overtly sexual character in video game history, and it's only appropriate that she take the top slot. In the Sinclaire Residence level you can find a key to the janitor's closet where said janitor has set up a hidden camera in Sinclair's hot tub. Turn it on to see her loudly masturbating. Better yet, turn on the noclip cheat to walk through the wall and see the action up close!