Random Ephemera

Top 4 Most Devastating Wrestling Moves (Invented by Japanese Women)

Art Attack spent a little time in the squared circle as a luchador, trained by the amazing Javio Flores Sr., and we're here to tell you that wrestling is freakin' hard. It hurts, a lot, and you spend months or years building up a tolerance for the holds, plexes, bombs and slams. Even just bouncing off of the ropes, something that looks painless and fun on TV, becomes a quick study in agony once you realize that the ropes are as tight as elevator cables and you have to hit them pretty hard to bend them.

It didn't take long for us to bow out of the big dream, mostly the product of a badly timed top rope stunt that ended in two fractured wrists, a concussion and a broken nose. Still, in that time we can tell you that we learned plenty of moves that would make mincemeat out of any but the manliest men.

Then, of course, we found out that most of them were invented by Japanese women, and that every one of them was capable of kicking our ass with both hands tied behind their backs.

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Jef Rouner is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner