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Top 5 Portal Fan Films

I have a confession to make. Much as I love Doctor Who and obsessively talk about it here in the art blog, it's honestly just a cover for the fact that I am not getting another Portal game anytime soon. Even when I do, I'll probably have to convert to freakin' Linux to play the sucker.

I honestly believe that Portal 2 is the greatest game ever made in the history of gaming. If it was turned into a Saturday morning cartoon tomorrow, I would never watch anything else. It was the perfect mixture of passive-aggressive comedy and pure gameplay, and c'mon, Newell, I'm dying over here.

So to tide me over, I got into Portal fan films. Unfortunately, the film I am most anticipating is taking forever. On the other hand, have you seen the Pacific Rim trailer? Holy crap, it's Portal plus Cloverfield plus Robot Jox!

Till I see either of those, I've had to content myself with these five, and by content I mean obsessively watch over and over again because they're great.

5. This is Aperture

You can't go wrong with parodying Nightmare Before Christmas. Aside from just the fun of the concept, we know that Aperture is a pretty musical place since the turrets perform operas and even have choir practice if you're astute enough to catch it. In my head, there is a turret version of Glee... because everything is better with bullets!

By the way, do you know why the turrets sing? It's because the designers were worried about how to soothe a child back to sleep after being awakened by the turret killing an intruder.

4. Lego Portal 2

I'm a big LEGO fan. In fact, I'm putting off building a Cybermen upgrade facility playset as I type this. Re-creating the basics of Portal 2 with LEGO isn't that impractical, and is actually the closest thing we're likely to get to a real adaptation of the game for film.

3. Terminal Velocity

There are a lot of fan films out there to show you what it would be like to have a Portal gun in real life, but none do it better than Terminal Velocity. The crazy, brotastic misuses of the gun are exactly what Cave Johnson would've wanted, I think, and the film has a hell of a good pacing and production.

2. Lab Ratt

One of the characters that has still not come front and center is Doug Rattman, the insane researcher that leaves graffiti and clues in the corners of the facility. His existence was chronicled in a brilliant Web comic, but Synthetic PictureHaus made his story even more poignant and powerful. Best of all, it can be pretty much considered canon as it faithfully follows an official comic.

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1. No Escape

How good is No Escape? Let's just say they left out GLaDOS and it still kicks more ass than a donkey rancher with restless leg syndrome. If they ever make an actual Hollywood Portal film, mark my words, it will look almost exactly like the one Dan Trachtenberg made here.

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