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Top 5 Ways to Pimp Your Ride, Old-Timey Style

Some people take great pride in their cars, and decided to use them as a way of expressing themselves. Modifying your ride to give it an unique appearance or performance style is a big business, but other folk tackle it with an older world in mind.

Wagon Wheels on a Hummer

Hummers represent the ultimate all-terrain vehicle, as evidenced by the fact that more than 10,000 were deployed in Iraq. When you've got to get to somewhere with no roads and Doc Brown isn't answering his phone, Hummers are where it's at.

Coincidentally, so were Conestoga wagons, which blazed the trail west for America's pioneers. They didn't have the Hummer's dependability, as anyone who has ever played Oregon Trail could tell you, but their contribution to exploring the frontier is indisputable.

Which is maybe why artist Matthew Harris decided to combine the two in a work he simply calls "Hummer." How this affects the vehicle's performance we have no idea, but there's no doubt that pulling up in one is sure to garner attention.

Wood Chassis

Nothing is as classy as a sleek wood finish, which is why Ataris still looks sweet despite being long since left behind. You just can't miss with the wooden look.

From the same era as the aforementioned game system goes the nondescript 1981 Opel. Deciding that metal wasn't going to do the trick, Vasily Kiyashko took the Opel and outfitted it with a custom carved wooden finish and a case of schizophrenia. The body is split down the middle, with half being a modern sedan and the other a vintage town car. The body contains more than 1,000 different oak parts, sports a 100-horsepower engine, and is kept looking spiffy with five layers of waterproof and fire resistant lacquer

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner