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Gaming

Top 6 Most Frustrating Video Games

If you're anything like Art Attack, you've gotten so mad at a video game that you headbutted a hole in the wall while cursing the name of a fictional plumber. Or maybe you actually use the pills the nice doctor prescribed. Regardless, we do very poorly with game rage and always have.

In our youth, the NES and TV were surrounded by an array of pillows so that we could hurl the controller at them in our tiny little anger. There's no reasoning with someone like that after they've just squandered their last life, just as you can't explain to them that no, moving the controller sharply to the right does not make the character jump any further.

So if you're one of our ilk, you might want to avoid the following games...

6. Earthworm Jim

Overall, Earthworm Jim is a hard game, but not so hard that you've never seen the ending. In fact, parts of it are downright simple and fun, but there is a level that is legendary for its sheer cussedness. The Tube Race was a nail-biting run through underwater caverns where every collision with the cave wall cracked your big glass submarine as well as usually sent it ricocheting off of another wall. You were up against a limited air supply, so simple caution was not going to do it. The only upside was that the level contained no boss to fight after tearing out all your hair just to get there. Well, it did, but it was just a goldfish in a bowl you kicked over.

5. Super Mario Galaxy

Really, any of the 3D Mario games can go on this list, but SMG was the last one we played so it gets the honor. They still have not really found a perfect way to match the jumping puzzles from the 2D era with the free world exploration of the 3D. Combining it with the wonky gravitation abilities of Galaxy makes for some really impressive movements, but in the end you're always straining to see over Mario's shoulder as he hurtles oblivious into the void.

4. SSX 3

SSX 3 was the reason we bought a PS2. We had a chance to spend a wonderful drunken night snowboard racing through mountains and cityscapes with friends and were completely hooked. To be honest, that's the focus of the game, and maybe it's our fault for trying to find every last little secret that we got so frustrated. See, hidden in each level are these little snowflake-like trophies, and if you get them all something wonderful happens. We don't know what, but it had better be good because whoever covered a snowy landscape with white trophies and expected us to find them was a fiend from Satan's pit. You can't just peek into every nook and cranny one at a time until you find them all, either, since you can only snowboard downhill. That means endless repetition of the runs until you finally just give up.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner