Film and TV

Top Five: Eerie Lines From The Road Warrior

How serendipitous: The Landmark River Oaks Theatre is screening The Road Warrior (Mad Max 2) as a midnight movie the same week Mel Gibson crashes his Maserati. How ironic that the actor, whose most iconic role involved driving a rusty fuel tanker at high speed while fighting off a raging squad of biker-punk marauders, can't seem to navigate Malibu Canyon in an Italian luxury sedan. We think Mel (and maybe some of us) could learn a wise lesson from a re-watch of his most enduring film.

So, in lieu of recent events, here are the five eeriest lines from the film, along with possible present day scenarios (in italics).

5. (Mel's agent offers some career advice.)

The Humungus: There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.

4. (Text message from father Hutton Gibson.)

The Humungus: We do it my way. Fear is our ally. The gasoline will be ours. Then you shall have your revenge.

3. (Mel, after bartender cuts him off.)

Max: If it's all the same to you... I'll drive that tanker. Pappagallo: The offer is closed. Too late for deals. Max: No deals. I want to drive that truck.

2. (Mel, at truck stop. Delirious.)

Max: Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me.

1. (Mel's therapist.)

Pappagallo: What is it with you, huh? What are you looking for? C'mon, Max, everybody's looking for something. You're happy out there, are you? Eh? Wandering? One day blurring into another? You're a scavenger, Max. You're a maggot. Did you know that? You're living off the corpse of the old world. Tell me your story, Max. C'mon. Tell me your story. What burned you out, huh?

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Troy Schulze
Contact: Troy Schulze