Random Ephemera

Using These Phrases to Describe Weak-Minded Followers Makes You a Weak-Minded Follower

As a writer it's probably no surprise that I have a passionate interest in language. It's not as all-consuming as my love of Doctor Who or calling Men's Rights "Activists" terrible people, but yeah, it's up there. Lately, the thing that has been pricking at my brain are the little words and phrases that people hurl at you to tell you that you, yes you, are a mindless follower unworthy of the title of human.

And each one simply proves that the person throwing it at you is a misinformed ninny that has swallowed every wrong bit of trivia that has ever gutterballed into their ear canal before hawking it back at some poor person on Facebook like electric smoker's lung.

Allow me to explain.

See also: Me Making Fun of Men's Rights Activists

Let's take my favorite bullshit phrase... "Stop drinking the Kool-Aid!" That's the one you hear the most. Believe that fires brought down 7 World Trade Center instead of controlled demolition? You drank the Kool-Aid. Refuse to believe that Muslim is just another word for terrorist? More Kool-Aid, sir? Trust a single word out of the mouth of Barack HUSSEIN Obama? Let's get you a nice jug of Kool-Aid.

Grape-flavored because people that act like this are usually a little racist on top of being thunderclasmically ham-brained.

Why do we even use this phrase? It's because of Jonestown. Back in the '70s cult leader Jim Jones led a bunch of people to Guyana to live and worship far away from the evils of the world... which didn't include beating his followers apparently 'cause he brought that with him. When a U.S. congressman went down to investigate reported human rights abuses, Jones' followers killed him, then fearing repercussions from the authorities they decided to commit mass suicide.

The method was having people ingest Valium, chloral hydrate, cyanide, and Phenergan. This was served out of a big old metal tub full of punch. However, despite everything you have ever heard, it wasn't Kool-Aid. It was Flavor-Aid. Literally every single person you have ever heard say "drink the Kool-Aid" have themselves drunk the Kool-Aid about drinking the Kool-Aid. It's a minor point, but facts do in fact matter to those of use that don't live in La La Land.

Piece continues on next page.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner