Video Game Atlas: Blobolonia

Once a week Art Attack will offer you a handy little travel guide to the fictional worlds of video games.

Name: Blobolonia, A Boy and His Blob series

Population: 1.1 billion

Government: Constitutional monarchy

My last several visits have involved incredible feats of engineering, including the massive space station at the center of the galactic transit system, the Citadel. It seemed like high time to move on to a much more low-key destination, and there happened to be one on the way back to Earth.

Blobolonia is an oddly shaped planet about 50 percent larger than our own moon. Though it boasts an amazing array of colorful mineral deposits that make hills and valleys sparkle and shine like a child's glitter painting, it is otherwise similar to Earth. In fact, the gravity of the world is actually slightly higher than here despite the small size, possibly owing to an extremely heavy core that would also explain the nonspherical shape of the planet.

My desire to visit Blobolonia stemmed not only from the gentle, pastoral nature of the planet, but also from the legendary friendliness of its sentient race. They are generally two-feet-high gelatinous forms, usually appearing in colors ranging from pale white to a dusty gray. They have no arms or legs, and instead hop and skip happily through their world with childlike exuberance, laughing from their large mouths and twinkling in their marble-like black eyes.

The race communicates physically, mostly in a language of hugs that will warm even the iciest heart. The skin of the creatures is soft and warm and feels like an expensive foam mattress. They are also capable of pantomime for any conversation that needs more elaborate nuance.

Unfortunately, the Blobs, as they're called by other races, are mute, or are at least as mute to humans as the keepers of the Citadel from my last stop. Luckily, I happened across another human on the planet that appeared intimately familiar with Blobolonia and offered to guide me. Strange fellow, very tall with curly brown hair and wearing an abnormally long, multicolored scarf.

Following my companion, we soon met many of the Blobs, and watched them demonstrate an incredible ability. My companion took a bag of jelly beans from inside his coat and began tossing them to the Blobs. Upon ingestion, they would transform their shapes in various ways. One became a ladder, another a car jack, and one even took the form of a rocket that then blasted a way.

These abilities explained why the Blobs seemed rather underdeveloped in their technology, though it should be noted they do build fairly impressive towers and factories. Since they can shape themselves into whatever tools they require, they haven't developed many of the utilities that we have had to on Earth.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner