Thor -- May 6
Here's an idea: let's take this character -- a venerable player in the Marvel Universe, though a decidedly second-tier one -- he's a Norse god who can go toe-to-toe with Superman, and make a movie about him that appears to focus entirely on the Asgardian's daddy issues. Truly, this is the superhero a nation of whiny malcontents such as ours deserves.
Sucker Punch -- March 25
Zack Snyder finally gives the ladies the 300 treatment. The end result will be equally as brainless, though undoubtedly spectacular to look at.
Season of the Witch/Drive Angry/Trespass
They all star Nicolas Cage. Not Raising Arizona/Leaving Las Vegas Nicolas Cage, but National Treasure/Wicker Man remake Nicolas Cage. Pick one.
The Thing -- October 14
I know what John Carpenter's 1982 horror masterpiece lacked: girls. Included solely to keep things from getting too awkward, I guess. I can't wait to see how this prequel explains the presence of a bunch of Americans on a Norwegian research base, what happens to Mary Elizabeth Winstead's character, and why we should feel even a shred of suspense when we know exactly how the whole thing ends.
