Wilfred: "Conscience", And The Creature That Ate Sheboygan

Is it possible there's some sort of secret agenda behind Wilfred's actions? Has he been sent by some heretofore unidentified actor to work toward an as-yet unknown purpose? With its hallucinatory escapades and frequent sojourns into the underbelly of human behavior, is Wilfred a canny examination of mankind and the limits of its so-called superiority?

Or is it just a show about a guy and a talking dog?

I might have thought otherwise over the last few weeks, but tonight's episode ("Conscience") sort of shot down any suspicions I may have held about overarching schemes or the influence of unseen forces.

I need to stop watching old X-Files reruns.

Jenna's boyfriend, the Bromo superior Drew (American Pie's Chris Klein), is back, and according to Wilfred he's like a "Viking on a rape quest." Sexual assault jokes are apparently de rigeur in 2011, so in the words of Clayton Williams, Jr., I guess I'll just relax and enjoy it.

Drew lives and breathes sales, specifically those of his company, Sheboygan Lager. That's something to be proud of, I think. And who can hate a man who fist bumps with such enthusiasm? Plus, he gives Jenna multiple orgasms, which...oh, now we know why Ryan hates him.

Naturally, Wilfred wants him gone, ostensibly to help Ryan win her over but mostly because Drew has been the one human so far that dominates him (via both "bops" on the nose with a newspaper and wrestling). Ryan's conscience bothers him about the idea, which Wilfred naturally mocks. But things change when Drew announces he's moving to L.A. full-time. And who could blame him? Look, nothing against Wisconsin, but there can't be a ton of Jennas in Sheboygan.

[Does anyone remember that old SPI game The Creature That Ate Sheboygan? That's my only interaction with what I'm sure is a fine, fine town.]

After last week's black celebration, I assumed we were in for a milder episode, and I was mostly right, except for the following exchange:

Ryan: "What does Jenna hate most about Drew?" Wilfred: "Vaginal tearing from his huge cock?"

Basic cable, people. My children could see that. If they...stayed up past 8 or...knew how to work the remote. Whatever, it's a theoretical outrage!

Ryan's plan is to exploit Drew's hypercompetitiveness by besting him at a game of ping pong (the biggest laugh of the night came from Wilfred's dead-on "Get him a body baaaag!" from The Karate Kid). In actuality, Drew beats Ryan, but is so obnoxious in his celebrating that Jenna breaks up with him. Mission accomplished, right?

Well no, because Drew is contrite about his behavior, and now Ryan has guilt. Just like Rex in Toy Story.

Finally, after what feels like the writers running out of juice around 22 minutes in, Wilfred tries to kill Ryan to keep him from undoing the breakup. With chocolate, which is poisonous to dogs. So...yeah.

Next week: Ryan lands an older woman.

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