If you think the whole world won't be watching on April 29th when Prince William marries his longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton, you've got another thing coming. Even in America we still haven't cut the apron strings of our monarchical overlords. In 1981, 750 million people worldwide watched the wedding of Charles and Diana. Anglophilia is on the rise since the announcement of the Royal Engagement, with gossip blogs, travel agents and marketing opportunities galore popping up to take advantage of the growing interest in the lives of Britain's rulers.
Side note here: if you are not yet following Diana In Heaven on Twitter, you should be. The closer the wedding date gets, the more hilarious the Tweets become.
Don't worry. You don't have to stay up late at night waiting for the one-time-only commercial offer to satisfy your jones for a commemorative tea set to celebrate the wedding. Art Attack talked to Guy Stereatfield, owner of the popular imports shop British Isles in West University, about some of the items his shop has on hand to mark the occasion.
"We have items from the fancy to the trashy," he said. "We have something for everyone from collectors to people throwing parties. The mugs are the things people really like."
Stereatfield also said most of the items the store has sold have been to locals, not through orders on their website.. So there is a market for British tchotchkes in Houston.
With Stereatfield's help, we scoured the internet for some of the funniest, fugliest and downright oddest items commemorating Will & Kate's wedding.
10: Halcyon Days Commemorative Box This limited edition commemorative box (one of only 350!) features the likeness of Will and Kate surrounded by symbols of the British empire. It's accented with gold leaf and costs $990. $990! Good gravy! At that rate you could afford a plane ticket to fly to England for the wedding.
9. Sex Pistols-style Will & Kate T-Shirt
If Johnny Rotten were dead he'd be rolling in his grave right now. Actually, scratch that -- he probably wouldn't be. But Malcolm McClaren would.
8. Bigger Than Lifesize Will & Kate Fridge
Hmm. It might work if you're on a diet and trying to stay AWAY from the fridge.
7. Paper Dolls
You know what's more boring than a doll you can't actually play with? A commemorative doll that doesn't even look like the actual person it commemorates.
6. Royal Tea Bags
Given Prince Charles and Camilla's notoriously naughty phone calls while he was still married to Diana, this joke kind of writes itself, so instead we'll go with British Isles' less-tacky description: A hot bath -- just you and Prince William!
5. Will & Kate "Artwork"
4. Royal Wedding Manicure
You ever get the feeling you're being looked at?
3. Toilet Seat Cover
In England the bathroom is called the watering closet and a Willie is a prince and not that other thing. Get your mind out of the gutter.
2. Royal Condoms
Crown Jewel condoms have caused quite an uproar with the Royal family. Their slogan? "Lie back and think of England."
1. Barf Bags
Probably the least useful item, but also the most quintessentially British. It deals with bodily functions, but in a typically euphemistic way. The design is simple and stoic, and yet the pun brings it all together. Keep some of these handy if you plan throwing a party April 29.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.