We at the Houston Press know that Mod Cloth's line of literary frocks annoys the hell out of us; we're just not exactly sure why. After all, we had multiple pairs of Express "Publisher" pants that we wore the hell out of when we were working as an assistant to an actual publisher. Nothing against editors (the profession or the pants), it's just that Express saw them as having more hips than we were endowed with.
Maybe the irk-factor behind Mod Cloth's dresses has something to do with the "Blog Writer Dress" looking like a glorified potato sack and, at $131.00, one that very few blog writers we know could afford, while the "Literary Arts Dress" is perfect for ... well, what, exactly? Writing poetry in a wheat field? Slow motion running into a lover's arms (in the rain)? However, we did have to laugh at the "Blog Editor Dress," as it could have easily been plucked from the closet of our food-blog editor Catherine's closet. She's very stylish.
We wanted to see if these dresses were really as ridiculous as we thought, or if we were the one that was being ridiculous, so we asked a few of our Houston Press colleagues.
The results - well, you be the judge.
"Where the 'blog writer' dress has gone wrong is assuming two things: (1) that I won't spill coffee down the front of that thing the first time a clumsy, generally awkward writer wears it, and (2) that writers wear such things to the office, whether they have a traditional office or not. I would not wear that dress on a regular basis as a result.
On the other hand, the 'journalism dress' seems much more low-key (and therefore functional), plus it has the added benefit of looking as though it would hide stains and provide a welcomed slimming effect.
Ultimately, I would prefer the 'journalism dress' of the two. And I'd probably wear it to a nice function. Does it scream journalist? No, not at all. But it's a nice dress. Let's be honest, though: I'm much more likely to keep wearing the same yoga pants and Rolling Stones t-shirt to the office every single day until the Press decides - at its own peril - to enforce some kind of dress code. It's comfortable and requires no thought, allowing me to focus more on what I'm eating/writing. As Blake Whitaker (Houston Press Editorial Assistant) once told me, 'The Internet doesn't care how you look, Katharine.'" --Katharine Shilcutt, Food Journalist, Blog Writer
(On the "Blog Editor Dress") "I actually own that dress, except with shorter sleeves. It is a little tight on me right now, probably because I have to edit blogs about food 10 times a day." --Catherine Matusow, Associate Editor-Houston Press, Blog Editor (Eating Our Words)
"Here's the order in which the dresses rate on my 'Things You Could Wear That Would Make Me Want to Have Sex With You List':
3. Blog Editor
4. Texture Message, coming in fourth despite vaguely sexy name that reminds me of a massage place run by people with a poor grasp of English
5. A dead person's skin
6. Blog Writer
(No. 6 would pass no. 5 if it weren't so long and puffy.)" --Anonymous Office Pervert (think Creed from The Office)
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"I like being a man--but if I had to choose it would be the 'Text Message Dress,' because I'm fancy, and I wanna show off my tats and my chest hair. The blog writer dress isn't risqué enough. Prudes suck. Not." --Craig Hlavaty, Associate Music Editor, Journalist, Blog Writer
"All those dresses are fugly. And as web editor, I didn't know this, but apparently I'm supposed to be dressing like an extra from the "Addicted to Love" video. [Is]"texture message" fashionista-slang for one-night-stand wear--maybe a texture message is the 2.0 version of a booty call?" --Brittanie Shey, Web Editor - HoustonPress.com, Blog Writer
Conclusion Quote of the Year: "The internet doesn't care how you look" --Blake Whitaker
The "Blog Writer Dress" may be even more unattractive than we had first suspected, preferred above cadaver skin only if it can be shortened and smoothed out. We're also tempted to order Craig his fancy "Text Message" dress in hopes that Brittanie will call him a tramp. Good times.