Local musician and occasional Houston Press contributor Greg Wood sets up one of his blog entries thusly: "So there I am, pouring teaglasses full of Wild Turkey, inhaling fat lines, when I had a GREAT idea. Why be alone? Female company was but a phone call away, this being the great country it is. Let's see...where's the phonebook? Hmm, here it is, E' for escort services." What ensues is a depraved whiskey, coke- and meth-addled odyssey, and another top-notch entry on Houston's finest R-rated (for adult situations, profanity, drug/alcohol abuse, mild violence, adult humor and general debauchery) blog. But there's more on offer here than Bukowskian tales of ordinary madness; Wood is also a dab hand at Onion-style photo-captioning and Jon Stewart-type commentary. (One such fake news headline: "Acid trip brings almost life-changing revelation to local musician: this place is fuckin' filthy.'") They don't make 'em like Wood anymore -- lock up the kiddies, click on over and see for yourself.