Navigation
Support Us

Houston's independent source of
local news and culture

I support

Houston Press
Houston Press
Local
Community
Journalism
Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of the Houston Press free.
Support Us

Best Record Collection

Nick DiFonzo's Worst Album Covers in the World

If there were any justice in the world, Nick DiFonzo would be a wealthy man. A few years back, the KHOU-TV technician/satellite truck engineer started Bizarrerecords.com, a Web site on which he posted scans of hundreds of the weird, tacky and just plain bad album covers he's found in the thrift shops of Houston and Austin. Several of them, including that of Joyce, a dowdy Sealy pastor's wife, and that of obscure rap pioneer Devastatin' Dave the Turntable Slave, have gone on to become Internet lore they've been picked up by thousands of blogs and online mags around the world. But accept no substitute. Click on over to DiFonzo's site and check out the originals in their native habitat. What's more, he's always adding stuff, so you can be one of the first to jack his newest finds. Not that you should, but...

Best Head Shop

Houston 420

We used to bemoan the way the Houston 420 franchises were taking over the city. We felt like the Starbuckization of head shops was, like, totally uncool, man. But then we realized that all head shops are already pretty much the same anyway: bongs, hookahs, metal and glass pipes, Bob Marley T-shirts, sex toys, wacky bumper stickers...We were going to say the list goes on and on, but actually that's about it. The real difference comes when you're dealing with the salespeople, and that's where the Heights' Houston 420 smokes the competition. Got a question about how a bubbler or a double-chamber bong works? They'll let you know without going all more-stonier-than-thou on your ass. The sheer helpfulness of the staff is enough to drive a narc insane.

Best Designer Boutique

Tootsies

The reigning queen of fashion, this Highland Village landmark is the place for serious femme shopping. Don't let the overattentive sales staff ("May I get you a drink?"), trophy wives and designer jewelry intimidate you. Sure, River Oaks divas drop a bundle on the evening gowns here, but Tootsies also stocks more reasonably priced fashion-forward casual clothes. Plus, get in good and they'll alert you to the fabulous sale days and maybe even hold a little something aside for you. And the shoe department keeps getting bigger and better. We'll take the Charles David platforms in a size 7, please.

Best Grocery Store

Central Market

Central Market is the cure for the common grocery store. Exotic produce, gourmet microbrews, healthy snacks, bubble bath and sweet-smelling soaps, case upon case of tender cuts of meat, freshly baked bread, prepared foods and towering bulk bins vie for patrons' attention in this gourmand's paradise. You'll never again be able to say you don't know where to find truffle oil or a rare spice. Central Market has it, and the in-store foodies, who specialize in wine or cheese or coffee or vitamins and so on, will help you find what you're looking for among the constantly restocked and cleaned aisles. Daily cooking classes on the upper floor of this giant culinary heaven teach old and new chefs how to use knives, prepare sushi or decorate cakes. Even if you don't like to cook, the shelves teem with prepared snacks and meals ranging from new and unique morsels to favorite comfort foods. Best of all, quality store brands such as Central Market Organics and those of parent-company H-E-B mean you can fill your stomach without paying an arm and a leg.

Best Sporting Goods Store

Academy Sports & Outdoors

Houston is not the only place you can find this sports authority, but it is the home of what was once known as Academy Super Surplus. It's for good reason that this local favorite has spread its huge selection of boats and bats, shorts and shotguns, tents and tennis balls to 80 stores in ten states. The management never forgets the holy trinity of retail: service, selection and savings. The warehouse-like stores are packed with everything you need for any sport or outdoor activity, from clothes and gear to fishing and hunting licenses. The feather in Academy's cap is its support of hometown teams. A special late-night opening for Astros fans after the conclusion of the National League Championship Series, plus the proliferation of free "Astros: We Believe!" signs at World Series time, equals customers who believe in Academy, too.

Best Car Wash

Carisma Car Wash

The type of cars you'd normally see being patted down with diapers by valets can now be spotted rolling into a $4 car wash. Why? As the name implies, there's a magnetic appeal to a place that offers a job well done. The best part is that you, the driver, are in control of how much or how little of the job you do yourself. Customers wishing to debug or de-bird-poop their Dodges can spend a little time removing those pesky specks with supplied buckets and brushes before a deluxe drive-thru wash sudses and shines the whole shebang. More options abound: Each wash comes with a dollar's worth of vacuum credit to be used or saved. Carisma is the choose-your-own-adventure of car washes.

Best Spectacles

Smith Opticians

If you're on the lookout for Elton John-esque specs, funky, cheap or just cooler-than-average eyewear, Smith's Opticians is the go-to place. Owner-optician Phillip Brown is an affable guy with a burning love for spectacles, an affection passed down to him from his dad, who was also an optician. Brown's vintage pieces are sought after by film companies in need of period eyewear, and prices are great on his contemporary stuff, much of which comes from glasses reps who unload merchandise deemed too funky for more conventional retailers. The shop is cluttered with myriad frames and boxes full of random eyeglass cases, but rooting through them is just part of the fun.

Best Place to Shop When You Don't Know What to Buy

Bering's Hardware

People who wander into Bering's Hardware expecting to find nuts and bolts and little else might find it confusing when they stumble onto the innovative cookware or the stationery section. They might be thrown by the unparalleled customer service and the divine smell of roasted coffee that lingers over the brass fixtures and ceramic drawer pulls. In fact, it seems like an old-fashioned general store. And like those multipurpose stores of old, this family-owned business has it all. Even when you don't know what to buy or what you're doing, you can spend an afternoon at Bering's mulling it over. Have a key made while you sit in one of the porch swings and ponder the wisdom of fountain pens. Pick out a tea kettle or a place setting. Buy a hammer or a hammock. Or buy nothing and browse at your leisure. The friendly staff knows you'll be back.

Best Place to Buy a Gun

Carter's Country

For Texans, "gun control" means using both hands, so it's no mean feat to be the greatest gun- and gun-related equipment retailer in Big H. Whether you've been buying and trading guns since you were knee-high to a bumblebee or you're a first-time shooter, Carter's Country has a full lineup. With an inventory ranging from brand-new cowboy-action guns to used hunting and assault rifles to reloading equipment for the true do-it-yourselfer, Carter's Country doesn't specialize in a type of gun as much as it specializes in guns. In addition to its tiered-price-level inventory, Carter's Country also offers gunsmithing service, gun storage, handgun classes and, at this location, an on-site shooting range with trap, skeet and clays. The knowledgeable staff can help any level of enthusiast, patiently explaining handling techniques, target types, bullet calibers, weights and powder grains. Well, shoot!

Best Dog Trainer

Loralei Zwitt

Fido still isn't listening when you calmly explain that jumping on the furniture is costing you a fortune in upholstery-cleaning fees? Trainer Loralei Zwitt can teach you how to get your message across effectively by utilizing her famous motto: Think like a dog. Houston's own dog whisperer has nearly 20 years of experience using posture, tone and rewards to help pets live up to their reputation as man's best friend. The best part is that Zwitt serves as a mentor while you learn to raise your status to exalted one, realizing your full potential as leader of the pack. Once Sparky sits, stays and politely shakes hands, reward him with one of the great treats from Zwitt's full-service joint. Give him a bubble bath at the grooming facility or bond over coffee (with two- and four-legged friends) at the cafe. The giant activity center gets two paws up for its group and individual playtimes, flyball, agility course and frequent special events. Woof!

Best Of Houston®

Best Of

California Privacy Policy California Collection Notice
Do Not Sell My Info
Use of this website constitutes acceptance of our terms of use, our cookies policy, and our privacy policy The Houston Press may earn a portion of sales from products & services purchased through links on our site from our affiliate partners. ©2024 Houston Press, LP. All rights reserved.
Powered By Foundation