Jeffrey Stern and his wife Yvonne seemed to have it all: a million-dollar home in Bellaire and an Aspen getaway for the long hot summers, two adorable kids and a foothold on Houston's social scene. Unfortunately, police say, attorney Stern had another accoutrement of the high life, and this one Yvonne did not share: a mistress named Michelle Cabrera Gaiser. And apparently Gaiser was no longer content to be Stern's lover: she wanted the ambulance chaser to put a ring on it, and she decided to take the bull by the horns and rub out her rival. To do so, she is alleged to have hired a series of inept assassins to kill Yvonne, and were it not for the fact that Yvonne did eventually get shot (thankfully, not fatally), the incompetence of those would-be Wee Beys and two-bit Snoops would simply be hilarious. As of this writing, Gaiser is accused of solicitation of capital murder along with two of the bungling hit men. Jeffrey Stern was also arrested on the same day as Gaiser. The lawyer was charged with unlawfully carrying a concealed weapon, but not accused in Gaiser's alleged plots. As for Yvonne Stern, she finally had enough and filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, with Gaiser named as the other woman.