Ch-ch-ch-changes: HoustonPress.com Gets A New Look
If you’ve gone to HoustonPress.com recently, you may have found yourself confused. Yes, you’re on the right website. No, you eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. Yes, we’ve undergone a bit of a facelift on our home page. Don’t freak out. Change is scary, yes, but we strongly feel that…
Composite Sketches Released in Car-Wash Murder
Police have released two composite sketches of suspects in the murder of Jose Bonilla, 28, a yard worker who was killed in broad daylight at a car wash during a November 28 robbery. Police and Crime Stoppers are asking for help in identifying the pair. One suspect is described as…
Artist of the Week: The Curious, Courageous Second Lovers
Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group “Artist of the Week,” bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn’t awful? Email their particulars to sheaserrano@gmail.com. Few bands in the history of the Artist…
The Top 10 Cookbooks of 2011: Texas Edition
This is neither a list of the all-time best cookbooks of the year, nor is it a list of the best Texan cookbooks of the year. It’s a combination of both. Because odds are that if you’re giving a cookbook as a gift this year, it’s either going to be…
Don’t Call Scottie Pippen Bankrupt Or He’ll Sue!
It’s always a little disappointing when you find out that certain urban legends aren’t true. It’s why I’ve never visited the mythbusting Web site snopes.com. Why would I want to know the truth when it’s just more fun to assume it’s accurate? Along those lines, there are certain urban legends…
Top 5 Things to Make with Leftover Spaghetti
It happens to the best of us. We boil a pot of spaghetti, stew a pot of tomato sauce, eat, refrigerate, heat and eat again. Even though I prefer only a spoonful of sauce to my gigantic mound of pasta, everyone else I feed likes to drown their stuff in…
Where Did Matisyahu’s Beard Go? We Found It!
Rapper Matthew Paul Miller, stage name Matisyahu, made waves this week by tweeting a picture of his face, shorn of the trademark Chassidic beard, along with a message promising “an amazing year filled with music of rebirth.” The message on his personal site also mentioned “rules” in his chosen religion…
The Semantics of Heated Chocolate Beverages
Or, “Does Differentiating Between Hot Chocolate and Hot Cocoa Make You An Inveterate Douchebag?” I hope not, because now I feel compelled to. Up until a year ago, I used the terms “hot chocolate” and “hot cocoa” interchangeably. Then, one day while reading my friend Carolyn’s ridiculously cute blog about…
“Soundforge” at Houston Center for Contemporary Craft: Participatory Art?
If participatory art is made that you don’t participate in, is it still successful art? That was the question I pondered recently when hesitating to pick up a mallet at the Houston Center for Contemporary Craft’s exhibition “Soundforge,” a steel-music collaboration between metalsmith Gabriel Craig and composer Michael Remson. The…
The Expensive Scam That Is the College Bowl System
College bowl season is about to start, which means for the next few weeks football fans will be watching terrible match-ups in half-empty stadiums, mostly because there are no other games on. A bowl game is supposed to be a reward for a team’s good season, but today it’s more…
Prosper at 5 AM: The Stories Behind the Dishes at Mala Sichuan Bistro
Prosper at 5 AM. Top Notch Pot of the Outlaws. Four Joy Lion Head. Couple’s Lung Slices. Ants on the Tree. Mala Sichuan Bistro — the subject of this week’s cafe review — has some of the most creatively named dishes in Chinatown on its menu, most of them under…
Galleria Holiday Savings Incentive: David Yurman and Gucci
If you’re feeling flush this holiday season and want to give someone, or yourself, an extra-special gift, the Galleria is offering a special savings incentive at David Yurman and Gucci. Between now and January 31, 2012 shoppers who purchase a $250 Simon American Express gift card will receive a $100…
Looking Glass: Rock Music’s Five Most Famous Four Eyes (Other Than Buddy Holly)
The Wall Street Journal wrote an interesting article about Buddy Holly’s optometrist. That’s not something most people would think about when it comes to music, but fashion has been significantly influenced over the years by music. In much the same way Clark Gable changed the men’s undershirt industry when he…
Get Fresh: Your Guide to HoustonPress.com’s New Look
If you’ve gone to HoustonPress.com recently, you may have found yourself confused. Yes, you’re on the right website. No, you eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. Yes, we’ve undergone a bit of a facelift on our home page. Don’t freak out. Change is scary, yes, but we strongly feel that…
Cover Story: Foster Kids on Antipsychotics
Here’s a riddle: If the Texas Attorney General sues a drug manufacturer for allegedly lying about the safety and efficacy of one of its antipsychotics, why would the state agency that oversees the foster care system still allow that drug to be given to kids as young as three? Why…
Who Needs Tim Tebow When You Have T.J. Yates (Or Just About Any Other NFL Quarterback)?
Vince Young was not who Jeff Fisher wanted to draft in 2006. His choice for the future quarterback of the Tennessee Titans was Jay Cutler. Bud Adams wanted Young, so Young became a Titan. Young was the 2006 NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year as the Titans went 8-5 in…
Classic Christmas: Johnny Mathis’ Merry Christmas
Over the holidays, we’re looking back at some classic Christmas albums taking some track by track and just digging on others. On the popular ’70s and ’80s sitcom The Jeffersons whenever George wanted to get Weezie in the mood, all he had to do was mimic the voice of Johnny…
The Houston Film Critics Society’s Best (and Worst) of 2011
One can only imagine the spectacle of an Academy Awards segment devoted to the most shoddy, amateurish and lousy cinematic attempts of the year, preferably hosted by Ricky Gervais. That’s one of the reasons we love the Houston Film Critics Society, a local nonprofit comprised of more than two dozen…
Chef Chat, Part 1: Terrence Gallivan of Pilot Light Restaurant Group
If you haven’t tried Terrence Gallivan’s cuisine yet, it’s probably because the somewhat elusive chef has only been cooking in Houston for short bursts of time. He did a one-month stint as part of the sold-out Just August Project in August 2010 with Seth Siegel-Garder and Justin Yu, and didn’t…
HoustonPress.com Gets a New Home Page; Here Are Some Tips
If you’ve gone to HoustonPress.com recently, you may have found yourself confused. Yes, you’re on the right Web site. No, your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. Yes, we’ve undergone a bit of a facelift on our home page. Don’t freak out. Change is scary, yes, but we strongly feel…
Creepy Krampus: 10 Terrifying Images of Santa’s Scary Alter Ego
Did you hear about the kerfuffle this weekend over the Travel Channel’s decision not to air an animated short penned by Anthony Bourdain about Saint Nick’s BFF, the child-eating demon Krampus? Who is Krampus, you ask? Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you you’d be getting…
5 Gifts for the Coffee Snob
As a coffee snob myself, I am here to advocate for my people. Please, don’t break our hearts. You know how much we love coffee, but since you’re not a coffee snob yourself, you might think we’d appreciate one of those machines that make coffee by squirting hot water into…
Trae Honors Murdered Brother With “R.I.P. Clip”
Of course, this is a delicate subject. Recently, Clip, associate and spoken brother of Trae tha Truth, was shot and killed outside of a nightclub. Details were murky. No suspects were/are known or pursued. Trae mostly maintained radio silence, popping up only to let loose a tweet or two about…
HoustonPress.com Gets a New Coat of Paint
If you’ve gone to HoustonPress.com recently, you may have found yourself confused. Yes, you’re on the right Web site. No, your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. Yes, we’ve undergone a bit of a facelift on our home page. Don’t freak out. Change is scary, yes, but we strongly feel…
Comment of the Day: Always with the Negativity
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Christmas Crunch Time: Five (Kind Of) Shopping (And Thieving) Related Songs
So, did you get all your Christmas shopping done? Oh, uhh…you haven’t started? You’re not alone. Tons of us procrastinate and leave it all until the last possible weekend (or if you’re really ballsy, Christmas Eve) and then we’re super screwed, forced to brave Memorial City, Katy Mills or even…
Holiday Classics: The Gingerbread Man
We’ll be featuring some holiday cookie classics on Eating Our Words in honor of the season. And since I’ll need something to bribe Santa with after a year of being a total bitch, I can promise you this: all of them will be equally delicious. Last week we focused on…
Holiday Shopping Guide: Gifts for Gym Rats
Not sure if you have noticed, but since the temperatures have dropped below a thousand, the streets of Houston are full of the fair-weather runners and athletes who just can’t hack the summer heat. (Like me.) Gym rats, running nerds, cyclists and any outdoor enthusiast or athlete appreciates cool new…
Build-A-Bar: Benedictine
I don’t remember when I first heard of Bénédictine, but I know it was in relation to my dad. He is, on occasion, a man of odd tastes. He has an inordinate and abiding love of Early Times whiskey (“It was good enough for Walker Percy”), and he prides himself…
Santa Killas Are Coming: Our Annual Christmas Card From The Insane Clown Posse
Out of some of the most proudest moments of my five-year tenure here at the Houston Press – interviewing Rob Halford, talking to an agitated Chuck Berry on a couch backstage after a gig, shaking hands with Charlie Sheen – one of the best days ever was finding a Christmas…
Voltron Forms Blazing Sword in New Game
Look, we were born in 1981, so when someone says the word “Voltron,” something deep within us awakens. There’s an image in our head of giant robots, flaming swords and really, really badly animated adventures. In other words, we recapture part of the innocence and joy of childhood. So when…
Best Of… App Gets a High-Five From iTunes
It’s the end of the year, which means lots of best-of lists, and we’re happy to announce that our own Best Of… app made the iTunes 2011 Rewind’s list off best travel apps. The app, which was released in March, contains all of the Best of Houston winners, as well…
Fruitcakes an Awesome Gift from Music Box Theater
The setup: The Music Box Theater, Houston’s newest cabaret troupe, presents a “very special holiday special.” The show lives up to its billing — and then some. The execution: You expect something a little different, a little off-kilter, from MBT’s ultra-talented quintet (Rebekah Dahl, Brad Scarborough, Cay Taylor, Luke Wrobel…
Mammoth Cloning is Here! 5 Other Animals We Hope They Do Next
Proof that global warming isn’t all bad, the rise in temperatures has softened up some of the frozen ground in Eastern Russia and has led to the discovery of a large number of woolly mammoths that have otherwise been perfectly preserved in the permafrost. A team made up of the…
Julie Ann Moore: Another Texas Teacher Snared in Student Sex Scandal
An Amarillo elementary school teacher is currently out on bond and has been charged with sexually assaulting a 15-year-old boy in the back seat of her car during the halftime of a high school football game. According to an arrest affidavit summarized in the Amarillo Globe-News, 34-year-old Julie Ann Moore…
4 Songs About the Frozen Head of Walt Disney
45 years ago one of the men who shaped the world in his image forever passed on. Walt Disney, innovator, animator, and imaginer, lost the battle with lung cancer. Disney left behind him a legacy of theme parks, cartoons, musicals, technological marvels and an institution of family entertainment that is…
Sampler Plate: This Week in Food Blogs
J.C. Reid, Texas: Chris has made his international food writing debut in a big way: with a spread in Qatar Airways’s in-flight magazine, Oryx. The restaurant he profiled? Philippe, which has been getting plenty of well-deserved magazine love lately. A hearty congratulations to both Chris and Philippe. Bon Appetit: In…
The 8 Best Diamond-TV-Ad Spoofs on the Web
If there’s anything that can bring people together during Christmas, it’s the unanimity of hatred for cheesy jewelry ads on TV. Cynical in conception, gooey in execution, the ubiquitous spots appall most everyone. On the other hand, they must make somebody buy crappy jewelry, or they wouldn’t be on the…
Robert Ellis, Hayes Carll Honored by American Songwriter Magazine
If one understands the historical depth and context of the singer-songwriter tradition in Houston — and it was flourishing here long before it migrated to Austin or before a few (mostly Texan) outlaws started up a movement in Nashville — it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that two…
Ask A Rapper: These are the Best Non-Houston Samplings of Houston Rap
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place – lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good – so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to…
Five Years Later: Food Trends That Fizzled Out
It’s that time of year again: No, not the time when society’s ever-emphasized consumerism is rammed even more forcefully down our gullets, disguised in festive Christmas trimmings and manipulative Coca-Cola commercials. It’s the time of year when every news outlet and blog in America starts to issue their food trend…
ESPN’s Craig James to Run for U.S. Senate In Texas
Great news if you’re a fan of inept political campaigns, or if you just want less awful announcing on your TV. Craig James, ESPN college football analyst who was personally involved in two ugly college football scndals of varying degrees, is running to replace Kay Bailey Hutchison in the U.S…
Rick Perry’s “Politically Incorrect” Ad: Other Things You’re Not Allowed to Say
Rick Perry has a new TV ad up in Iowa titled “Politically Incorrect.” “Washington is the capital of political correctness, where doublespeak reigns and the truth is frowned upon,” he says in it. “You can’t say that Congressmen becoming lobbyists is a form of legal corruption. Or that we give…
Hear Ke$ha’s Quality, Teary-Eyed Cover Of Bob Dylan’s “Don’t Think Twice It’s Alright”
Truth be told, if you played Ke$ha’s cover of Bob Dylan’s “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right” for someone in a car, without referencing who it was by, or her glitter-to-platelet count, they would bow down and worship it, sight unseen. And if she had a whole album with ballads…
6 Great Gifts For An Iron Chef Wannabe
Are you the next Iron Chef? Are you bedding a Master Chef wannabe? Do you or someone you know take cooking very seriously? Here are a few must-haves sure to tickle the fancy of the Iron Chef in, or near, you. 6. Sous vide circulators: Sous vide seems to be…
Trailer Park: Rock of Ages Set to Glee-ify Hair Metal Nation Summer 2012
First off, we are into Catherine Zeta-Jones as a hellbent Tipper Gore-type who wants to shut down an evil rock club, in the trailer for next summer’s adaptation of the Broadway hit Rock of Ages. Because, and we have never seen the stage show, there is a possibility of her…
Notsuoh Suit Over: Jim Pirtle Walks Away a Winner
The $12,000,000 and 47 cent personal injury lawsuit against Jim Pirtle, Melissa Bosch and their Notsuoh bar is over, and the bar owners won’t have to pay a dime. After several days of testimony last week, jurors found Friday that attorney Donna Roth’s version of events — that Pirtle was…
Classic Christmas: The Andy Williams Christmas Album
There are two reasons we think of Andy Williams fondly. First, there is the classic episode of The Simpsons when Bart, Milhouse, Nelson and Martin travel to Branson where they see Williams perform. A teary-eyed Nelson said, “I didn’t think he’d do “Moon River,” but then — bam! — second…
DVDs & Blu-rays: Free Shame Tickets and a Rise of Planet of the Apes Review
Before we get to the very serious business of discussing the merits of a film about a talking monkey, we have some more giveaways to offer readers. This time, instead of DVDs or Blu-rays, we have tickets to what is sure to be one of the most talked about films…
It’s Ribs, But Go For the Chicken
Have you ever walked into a restaurant where the staff is so kind and eager that you just don’t want to say anything bad about the food? Such is the predicament I find myself in. When I read about a place called It’s Ribs opening in Northwest Houston, dreams of…
Bored at Work? So Are They
This piece may be a bit too accessible. “Office Light,” Curt Gambetta’s new installation at the Lawndale Arts Center, beckons moths to the flame — 12 fluorescent troffer lights arranged in a 2’x4′ office ceiling grid that stands six feet tall. That height purposefully makes it a little too close…
Tuesday December 13, 2011 Deals of the Day
If Christmas shopping has you short on cash, this week’s Voice Daily Deal will help you save a few pennies and unwind after a long day of shopping for The Perfect Present. Today’s VOICE Daily Deal from the Houston Press is good for 50 percent off ($11 for $22) at…
Magic Bus: Ford Discontinuing Econoline, the Van of Choice for Bands
We learned today about this unfortunate development: This week Ford Motor Co. said it is ramping up development and production of its Transit commercial van to make it into a truly global vehicle. The plan includes building the van in the U.S. by 2013, for which the company is revamping…
Mike Leach: Former Tech Coach Partners with Houston Publisher of Strip-Club Guides
Texas football hasn’t been the same since Mike Leach left Lubbock. Not only have the Texas Tech Raiders struggled on the field, but the goofiness quotient has gone way down. Leach has gone to Washington State, but he hasn’t cut off all his Texas ties. Like the one where he…
Distant Early Warning: Cults, VNV Nation, Childish Gambino, King’s X, Village People, Etc.
30 Foot Fall: Sun., Dec. 25. Fitzgerald’s, 2706 White Oak, Houston. Amplified Heat, Dixie Witch: Sat., Jan. 7. Continental Club, 3700 Main, Houston. Bang Bangz, Hello Chief, New York City Queens: Sat., Feb. 4. Fitzgerald’s, 2706 White Oak, Houston. Band Of Heathens: Wed., Feb. 1. Main Street Crossing, 111 E…
Skittles Burger? Forget That Noise. Here’s How to Make an M&Ms Burger
By now, most of the Internet has seen the Skittles burger: the candy creation that somehow manages to make a compressed disc of purple-colored fructose look like a hamburger patty in a sugar simulacrum of the real thing. Of course you’ve seen it. It’s all over the place, on everybody’s…
Free-Loading: The Best Free, Legal Movies on YouTube Right Now
Sure, you could pay Hulu, Netflix and Amazon Prime for streaming flicks to your various computers and movie machines, but over at YouTube, they are offering free feature-length comedies, dramas, horror films, docs and creepy classics. Yeah, you have to sit through ads, but they aren’t too — click here…
Port’s CEO Exonerated, But Quitting Anyway
Alec Dreyer: Not going to take it anymore.The Harris County DA’s office has exonerated Alec Dreyer, the CEO of the Port of Houston Authority, of charges that he misused a port boat for a party and tried to cover it up. The DA’s office issued what Dreyer’s lawyer called a…
Welcome to Third Rock, NASA’s New Radio Station
Satellite radio got some new competition from a little old outfit called NASA when the government agency went live Monday with its new internet radio station, Third Rock. The station is described in NASA’s press release as “crafted specifically to speak the language of tech-savvy young adults.” The New Rock/Indie/Alternative…
A Mini Food Tour Through Korea Town
Just because I’m Asian doesn’t mean I can read Korean. So if you take me out of my comfort zone and into the Korea Town (K-Town)/Spring Branch area of Houston, I’m just as lost as anyone else who can’t read Korean signage. It’s for this exact reason that I have…
Holiday Shopping Guide: Ten Gifts Under $50
The pressure is on — only 11 shopping days left until Christmas. Don’t tell my mom, but I haven’t even started yet. Actually, go ahead and tell her — she won’t be surprised. I have been doing a lot of “window shopping” at the mall and online. (If you were…
Comment of the Day: Putting an A-Hole Non-Texan Fan in His Place
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Our Top 10 Music Videos of 2011
Our obsession with the medium of music videos remains as strong as its ever been, and we’ve done our best to bring as many of the best of the newest releases to you in the digital pages of Rocks Off over the course of the year. We’re pleased to round…
Andy Mann’s ‘Video Tree’ a Downtown Icon Once Again
It wouldn’t be the holidays in Discovery Green without a 15-foot-tall tower of TV screens in the shape of a Christmas tree. The colorful installation, the “Video Tree,” is a revival of the original by pioneering videographer Andy Mann, which ran in Tranquility Park from 1990 to 2000. The resurrected…
Top 5 Seasonal Commercial Holiday Snacks
Choosing my favorite commercial Halloween snacks was pure pleasure. Compiling a similar Top Five for the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus season was fun but pretty darn overwhelming. Nearly every brand offers a holiday shape/color/flavor for its products and testing even a majority of them would be a full-time job…THAT I WOULD LOVE TO…
Tuesday Night at Memorial’s Shakespeare Pub
Although I drank enough in college, I never went to traditional college nights, at least not the kind with nearly-free booze and 21-year-olds shooting their way across a strip of bars. After reading about the worst of stereotypical college life, this sounds like a less harrowing assignment. To get that…
Happy 30th, Amy Lee of Evanescence; Six Reasons We Like You
While Evanescence and their lead singer, Amy Lee, continue to find mainstream success (their most recent album was number one on the charts when it was released in October), they are a band that is maligned in the same way as other polished heavy bands like Creed and Nickelback, though…
Enters Church, Asks About Prayer, Pulls Out Gun & Robs
If you’re going to go into a church, pull out a gun and start robbing people, what better time of year than the Christmas season? Harris County Sheriff’s deputies are looking for a man who they say did just that last week, in a northside church. “At approximately 12:10 p.m.,…
Who’s #1? The Best #1s in Comics
Not every comic series starts out great. Like the heroes they follow, some of them only become great. However, there are #1s in the history of comics that are game-changing works of brilliance, and today we celebrate them. As always, thanks to the folks at 8th Dimension Comics for their…
Pop Rocks: 10 Women Jennifer Aniston Is Definitely Sexier Than
Men’s Health magazine, which I’d always assumed was largely aimed at the gay population (much like Field & Stream), recently declared Jennifer Aniston the “sexiest woman of all time:” Forget that “Sexiest Woman Alive” nonsense. Jennifer Aniston has just been named “Sexiest Woman of All Time” by readers of Men’s…
Pop Rocks: So Who Really Isn’t Sexier Than Jennifer Aniston?
Men’s Health magazine, which I’d always assumed was largely aimed at the gay population (much like Field & Stream), recently declared Jennifer Aniston the “sexiest woman of all time:” Forget that “Sexiest Woman Alive” nonsense. Jennifer Aniston has just been named “Sexiest Woman of All Time” by readers of Men’s…
Ray Hill’s Arrest Video Tells Different Story Than What Cops Say
Don’t Get in the Way of Our Titty Bar Raids, Yo! Security camera footage taken during a raid at the Treasures strip club shows a Houston Police Department officer shoving gay activist Ray Hill in the chest before other officers surround the 71-year-old, handcuff him and escort him from the…
30 Seconds With Carolyn Wonderland
Carolyn Wonderland is in and of herself a grand Texas institution, and embodies the everything about us a musical people. We humbly knelt before her to find out what we could in 30 seconds. Rocks Off: What is the worst song in the world? Carolyn Wonderland: After much consideration, it’s…
Where Are We Drinking?
This is no ordinary smoothie: This is a super-charged, good-for-you shake that happens to taste like white chocolate…despite being made mostly of veggies. Chalk it up to creamy avocado in combination with almond milk and agave nectar (plus a few other green superfoods), and you’ve got a healthy beverage that’s…
Uncle Fester & The Addams Family Are on Their Way to Houston
A lot of actors work out a lot to get and keep in shape after capturing an important role. Actor Blake Hammond, who plays Uncle Fester in the touring company of the musical The Addams Family, had to man up for a trip to the barbershop. “Fester is a fun…
Xavier-Cincy: College Basketball Brawl for the Ages (w/ VIDEO)
As I watched the video of the brawl at the end of the Cincinnati-Xavier game on Saturday afternoon, a brouhaha that I learned of after being sent literally dozens of links to it on my Twitter timeline, I had an epiphany regarding “offensive” occurrences like this fight. I am not…
Sterling High: We’re Sorry We Tipped Off Our Players to the Upcoming Steroids Test
Texas’s efforts to test high school athletes for steroids have been pretty ineffective in finding high school athletes taking steroids, but maybe that’s because Texas kids would never, ever do something like that. Whether that’s true or not, one Houston-area high school has been sanctioned by the state governing body…
A Tale of Two Dinners: Ava Kitchen & Whiskey Bar vs. The Modular
One is a highbrow full-fledged restaurant — a “brick-and-mortar” place, to use the parlance of the day — owned and operated by heavyweight restaurateurs. The other is a cobbled-together food truck, ephemeral and fleeting by nature here in Houston, where the City actively targets mobile food vendors and where many…
Nancy Jane Mancuso Gelber: Police Say Aspiring Crime Writer Wanted Estranged Hubby Whacked
Nancy Mancuso Gelber could face up to life in prison after she was arrested Friday and charged with attempting to hire a hit man to kill her estranged husband. Unfortunately for the 53-year-old Bryan woman, the man she thought would deep-six her husband was an undercover Brazos County Sheriff’s deputy…
Rap Round Table: Who is the Best Shit-Talker in Rap Currently?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week’s Panel: Bun B, Slim Thug, medicine Girl, O.N.E., Preemo, Chane, Delo, Chingo Bling, Doughbeezy, Chuckway, Fat Tony, Kyle Hubbard, C-Stone, Roderickvonn, more. Not Invited:…
Our Top Five Picks for ‘Being Elmo’ Spinoffs
Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey is a moving look at the creator behind one of the most beloved characters on Sesame Street. Elmo, of course, is world famous, while Kevin Clash, who gives Elmo life through movement and his voice, could walk down the street unnoticed. The film has been…
Occupy Houston: Arrests Made at Port
The Occupy Houston protesters took to the Port of Houston today, with about 70 people showing up and several arrests made for blocking a service road, according to some estimates. HPD and the sheriff’s office were out in force, including mounted patrols, and seemed to have a preplanned procedure for…
Like a Natural Woman: Nzuri Natural Hair Health and Beauty Showcase
If you happened to notice afros, twists, puffs and dreadlocks walking past you en masse this weekend, there was no need to raise your eyebrows. Women — and some men — from all over the world gathered to celebrate natural hair at the 2nd Annual Nzuri Natural Hair Health and…
Fast Times: Whataburger Chicken Strips Salad
I’m experiencing a serious case of fast food burger fatigue — it was only a matter of time. Looking for something on the light(er) side of fast food, I zipped through the drive-thru at Whataburger recently and ordered a Chicken Strips Salad with low-fat vinaigrette dressing, but said no to…
Patrone Brooks, 37, Bayou Body Count No. 190
Police are investigating a Sunnyside death that raises some questions. Patrone Brooks, 37, was taken to Ben Taub Hospital about 9:30 p.m. Sunday night, where he died of blunt force trauma. Police were called, and an investigation led them to the 4200 block of Burberry. “Multiple bullet casings were found”…
Your Wallet’s New Mortal Enemy: Heights Vinyl On White Oak
The scene was bustling at Heights Vinyl on Saturday, as Houston’s newest record store opened it’s doors with complementary beer, DJs and bands, and crates of great vinyl to sift through. The store’s location on White Oak, just yards from Fitzgerald’s and all the new restaurants invading the area, will…
A Christmas Carol at Country Playhouse: A Tour de Force
The setup: Charles Dickens’s immortal tale of misanthropic Scrooge and his ultimate redemption is given a splendid retelling in Country Playhouse’s one-man show adapted and performed by John Stevens. The execution: Although he was unaware that the years between 1867 and 1870 would be his last — the author died,…
1252 Tapas Bar in Vintage Park Opens to Bad Weather With Good Food
I visited the new location of 1252 Tapas Bar in Vintage Park on its first two opening nights. (The original is located in The Woodlands.) Vintage Park is near 249 and Louetta and is structured a great deal like Uptown Park off of Post Oak. The opening has been quiet,…
Texans Celebrate: Twitter Pics from the Locker Room and the Team Plane
It’s been a long, long time since Houston has hosted an NFL playoff game — Newt Gingrich hadn’t even become Speaker of the House yet, for crying out loud, when the Oilers choked away a Dome game to the Chiefs in 1993. And the Texans, of course, have given fans…
Friday Night: Scratch Acid At Fitzgerald’s
“Thanks for coming to the reenactment,” joked David Yow, frontman of returning noise-punk heroes Scratch Acid on Friday night towards the end of the band’s hour-long set at Fitzgerald’s. The band played most every song they knew together, with Yow in pitch-perfect crazed Harvey Keitel mode, launching into the pit…
Going Nowhere? “Going Up?” at Contemporary Craft Doesn’t Go Very Far
When an artist’s work is described as “whimsical,” we expect to see fairies and elves, not copper figurines. “Whimsical” is how Lauren Adams’s body of work, now on display at the Houston Center for Contemporary Craft, has labeled itself. Adams’s exhibition, “Going Up?,” which opened Friday night, is comprised of…
Wine of the Week: An Argentine Chardonnay that Surprised Me
Most of the wine that comes from South America tends to be made in the California style: big flavor, big alcohol, big oak, and little acidity. Although wine has been made in countries like Chile and Argentina since the arrival of the Spanish conquistadores, it wasn’t until the 1990s that…
Trailer Park: Your First Look at Men in Black 3, Featuring Josh Brolin As Rick Perry?
Will Smith returns to the big screen on May 25, 2012, with the third installment of Men in Black. The film will be Smith’s first since 2008’s Seven Pounds. MIB3 has been plagued with re-shoots, going back and forth since this past April. The MIB saga began way back in…
Local Landmarks Dominate the 3rd Annual Gingerbread Build-Off
For David Stagg, Caitlin Kaluza and the rest of their team from Schipul, their gingerbread house was meant to evoke emotions: a vintage Alabama Theatre, captured in a moment already past, showcasing both the inherent impermanence of gingerbread as a building medium and the city’s mercurial attitude toward historic preservation…
Top 10 Tim Tebow-Hating Tweets
The Global Language Monitor has now recognized “Tebowing” — “the act of taking a knee in prayer during an athletic contest” — as an English language word. Fucking hell. Pretty sure we’re not the only ones that feel that way, considering these ten tweets that dissed the Denver Broncos’ signal…
Classic Christmas: A Christmas Gift for You from Philles Records
Over the holidays, we’re looking back at some classic Christmas albums taking some track by track and just digging on others. Christmas music comes in all shapes and sizes. From jazz and blues to hip hop and heavy metal, everybody thinks they have an interesting take on holiday classics, but…
Aunt Pearl & A Tuna Christmas Return to Galveston’s The Grand 1894 Opera
Besides taking in its annual dose of silliness and satire, the other reason you might want to catch A Tuna Christmas at The Grand 1894 Opera in Galveston this month is because Joe Sears, the co-author and Tony Award nominated actor who handles Aunt Pearl among several other roles, says…
Gulf Coast Fried Rice, or What To Do with Random Leftovers
I think I might have mentioned that I hate wasting food. Perhaps you’ve noticed on your own. Either way, I think it’s fair to say that re-purposing leftovers – ingredients, composed elements, whole dishes, and everything in between – is something of an obsession of mine. I recently found myself…
Comment of the Day: The Big East’s World Domination
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Strong Photos Capture the Sex Industry in Eastern Europe in FotoFest’s “International Discoveries III”
FotoFest’s “International Discoveries” series always brings in interesting work, and this year is no exception. The standout is Romanian photographer Dana Popa, whose home country is embroiled in the sex-trafficking industry. Popa’s series not Natasha captures girls and women who have escaped, as well as the families that have been…
Black Keys Driving Their El Camino To Houston On April 24
The Black Keys, who are currently riding a wave of adulation in the wake of this month’s brand new release El Camino, are set to hit Houston on April 24. This Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion date will be the group’s second at the venue, the first being an opening slot…
Texans/Bengals — 4 Winning Plays That Never Would Have Happened in 2010
Sunday morning, about an hour before the Texans and Bengals kicked off, I was driving to the grocery store with my girlfriend Amy to pick up some “Texans watching” supplies — chips, sandwich paraphernalia, beverages, etc. (Xanax no longer necessary this season.) Unsolicited, I started raising the possibilities of which…
Last Night: Aaron Neville at House of Blues
New Orleans native Aaron Neville took the House of Blues stage last night looking like every publicity still we’ve seen of him over the last few decades: Bulging muscles, fitted black shirt, fedora, jewelry, religious tattoos. Last year, Neville (who celebrates his 71st birthday next month) released Gospel album I…
The Week in TV: ABC Cancels Man Up!, No One Notices
We’re entering the holiday slump, when there’s not much on besides holiday specials (yay!) and sports (meh). This was the week in TV Land: • ABC has pulled Man Up! from its schedule, which is news for many people who didn’t even know Man Up! was even airing, or a…
What’s Cooking This Week?
Ooh baby it’s cold outside. This week, I’m definitely feeling the chill – so what better way to warm up than with cozy comforts like Minestrone Soup & Beef Stew? I may or may not also add a Guinness or four to really get me feeling toasty. Here’s What I’m…
An HGO List of Top Opera Recordings to Buy This Year
Maybe you know a lot about opera, but are a bit lost about all the recorded offerings available. Or perhaps you don’t know squat about it but someone you love or want to impress does — and you want to give them a gift without looking like an idiot. Art…
Gothic Council Selects Artists for the Gallery
Your humble goth reporter has been spending a lot of time over on the Art Blog trying to make the whole thing as much about comic books and old video games as possible. Frankly, we’re beginning to wonder if we’ve geeked out just a bit too far, and decided to…
Whiskey Shortage Pays Off
An ominous tweet arrived here, about the same time my Rittenhouse 100-Proof Bonded in Bottle approached “E.” EatingOurWords Take note! RT @adriennebyard Just learned that the city is out of Rittenhouse 100, and that @BeardAndBitters bought the last 4 bottles. Not given to panic, I waited a week. Jack at…
Patrick Simmons: Most-Wanted Bank Robber Turns Himself In
The suspected bank robber who was spotlighted by the FBI in a digital-billboard campaign turned himself in to authorities about 5:30 p.m. Sunday, the feds say. Patrick Wayne Simmons, who was wanted in a string of eight Houston-area robberies of bank branches located in grocery stores, was arrested without incident,…
Blanca Herrera Lopez, 6, Bayou Body Count No. 189
Intoxication manslaughter charges have been filed against a woman who crashed her vehicle, killing a six-year-old passenger and injuring five others, Houston police say. Liliana Yamileth Zuniga, 26, was driving on the North Loop near the North Freeway shortly before midnight Saturday when she lost control of her Ford Explorer…
Borrowing a Book on the Kindle Fire: Hit and Miss – and Money
Our Kindle Fire is sitting on our desk, taunting us. It’s daring us to try to muddle through the complicated maze of borrowing a book. We’re no push-overs, we’re up to the challenge (gulp!). There are several ways to borrow a book on Kindle — from the Kindle Owner’s Lending…
Christmas Erotica: Titles We’d Like to See
Recently we provided a list of Christmas-themed erotic novels currently available for your Yuletide pleasure. `Twas a Dark and Delicious Christmas, Jingle All the Way and All She Wants For Christmas Is Two Hot Men only seem to scratch the surface of what this genre could entail. So we’re looking…
Write On: Rocks Off Looking for New Bloggers
So, you like music. Hey, good for you. Maybe you’ve even written about it on a blog. Even better. Perhaps you even have a little background in writing. Tremendous. To quote a famous wartime poster: Rocks Off wants you. We are seeking a few good writers to add to our…
MasterMinds One Year Later: David Dove on Nameless Sound’s 10-Year Anniversary
When Paul Knight talked to David Dove last year, the founding director of Nameless Sound, the two-pronged music education nonprofit organization, Dove said that the program was becoming more than the sum of its parts. “(We’re) on the brink of figuring out what this means,” he said. “We are at…
Where Are We Eating?
This plate of pork meatballs has the unusual name of Four Joy Lion Head at this new Chinatown restaurant. And while there’s no lion head to be found in the giant meatballs, there is a lot of joy. Look familiar? Think you know where we’re eating this week? Leave your…
Texans 20, Bengals 19: Historic Season Doesn’t Have to Stop with Division Title
The popular opinion of the 2011 Houston Texans has been that while they were an inspiring story, injuries would prevent them from being a true Super Bowl contender. After Sunday, consider the latest in a long line of Texan myths officially debunked. When Matt Schaub (and subsequently Matt Leinart) went…
Texans’ Last-Second, Playoff-Clinching Win: Yes, It’s a Miracle Season
You’re an underdog down by six on the road with 2:33 on the clock. You’ve got 80 yards to go, and you’re depending on a rookie quarterback making his second start. Plus, you’re the Texans, the team that has given Houston years and years of mediocrity and who, just last…
This Week in Deliciousness
Welcome back to Eating Our Words, where the words came back a little on us last night. That’s acid reflux for you. Eat an entire package of shortbread and then pass out while doing a handstand and you’ll wake up chokin’ on them words. I dunno. This is stupid. We…
Congratulations to the Winners in Our DVD/Blu-ray Giveaway!
Thanks to everyone who entered the Cowboys vs. Aliens and The Help DVD/Blu-ray giveaways this week. The winners are: For The Help: Alexander B. and Teresa L. For Cowboys vs. Aliens: Ryan M, Frank K., and Meagan R. T. Congratulations! (We’ll be contacting the winners by e-mail to get mailing…
Pau Gasol Thoughts, My Texans Prediction and Other Weekend Best Bets
On November 23, the Texans signed quarterback Kellen Clemens to take over third-string duties. On December 4, the Texans signed Jake Delhomme and two days later they cut Clemens. I never thought there would be a less satisfying era for a Houston player than the Kellen Clemens Era. Then along…
Blood and Broken Collarbones: Another Attempt at a Texans Tribute Song
What is it about teams winning that makes really awful music just ooze from the woodwork? We remember back when the Rockets were winning some of the most God-awful tribute material hitting the streets and, at times Lord help us, the airwaves. We get that fans want to show their…
Rick Perry’s Anti-Gay Ad: The Five Best YouTube Parodies
As you might have heard, Rick Perry has gotten some publicity for the above ad, which talks about where the heck Amurrica is a-goin’ when GAYS can serve in the military, but kids can’t pray in school. It’s been massively disliked, judging by the like/dislike YouTube score, and it’s also…
These Are The Five Best Chopped Not Slopped Tapes of 2011
In the paper this week is a listing of some of our favorite local albums. One of the tapes on the list -debatable in its localness–is OG Ron C and DJ Candlestick’s chopped not slopped version of Frank Ocean’s nostalgia, Ultra. Here’s what was written about it: Traditionally (or historically),…
Upcoming Events: Galveston Gets Craft Beer and Its Own Restaurant Week
Have you marked off next Thursday, December 15, in your calendar? Good, because the RSVP list for our Tequila & Tamales event is filling up fast. As with Wingtoberfest, the Tequila & Tamales tasting is free to the public, but it’s also first-come, first-served. The first 200 guests will receive…
Another Sucky Weekend on the Southwest Freeway
If your weekend plans include using the Southwest Freeway inside the Loop, we’re sorry for you. TxDOT is once again planning major closures along the southbound lanes between Montrose and Kirby, and little good can come of it (except, of course, repairs that might prevent catastrophe). “The closures are necessary…
This Sunday, a Benefit for Bise at the Boom Boom Room
Michael Bise is no stranger to life intertwining with art — his graphite drawings are highly autobiographical, drawing on his parents’ relationship and his childhood. Now, the two come together again just when he needs it the most. Bise, 35, was born with congenital heart failure, and is currently on…
Buffalo Bayou Brewery: A Preview
If you haven’t heard about the Buffalo Bayou Brewery, one of the new local craft beer makers in Houston, it’s probably because they haven’t officially opened yet. But to get the buzz going and to let people know what’s coming down the line, they held a media preview event last…
Dig This: Back To Back, Black Congress, dUNETX, Frants, and Ghost Mountain
The current volume of local music is staggering. New Houston bands are born daily, and all too often pass away just as quickly. Rocks Off wants to help you (and ourselves) keep up. Houston may have gotten colder, but that’s just an excuse to hunker down with those headphones, discover…
Person of Interest: Elias Is Out to “Get Carter”
Man, how long has it been since there’s been a new Person of Interest? It feels like we haven’t had one since before Thanksgiving…[checks Wikipedia]…holy crap, we haven’t. So in case you’ve forgotten everything about the show in a haze of tryptophan and college football, I’ll remind you that Messrs…
Douglas Paul McCoy: East Texas K-2 Fan Jailed Again; This Time For “Occupying” Lufkin
Three months ago, we brought you the saga of Douglas Paul McCoy, a 48-year-old Lufkinite who went to jail twice in two days, allegedly because of his love of (and antics while under the influence of) K-2, a synthetic marijuana compound. In a nutshell, police found him by the side…
Irving Berlin’s White Christmas from TUTS: A By-the-Numbers Production
The setup: As its seasonal show, Theatre Under the Stars brings back to the Hobby Center its pale, out-of-focus adaptation of the 1954 Bing Crosby/Danny Kaye movie musical. With an entire score built from Irving Berlin standards, the film was the first ever released in VistaVision, Paramount’s wide-screen answer to…
Updated: Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy Shoot Has Leaked
The moment we have all been waiting for since like, this summer has finally come. Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy shoot leaked online this morning, and the Marilyn Monroe-inspired set of stills isn’t awful, but this isn’t Mean Girls-era Lohan either we are seeing. This is the blond and pale Lohan we…
A Series of Haikus to Muscle Milk
An ode to the case of Muscle Milk that inexplicably arrived in our offices today: Why are you so sweet? Your cloying fake chocolate Makes you tough to bear Let us not discuss The fact you contain no milk Lies taste of despair…
Review: Trakk Sounds Intervention
Download that. It’s Intervention, a compilation album from 21-year-old producer Trakk Sounds (with help from the MP3 site Tha Fixx). It’s fun; all original tracks (16) with all original verses (60!). Sounds, who currently shares a studio with regional tastemaker Rapid Ric, worked on it for eight or so months,…
Odd Pair: Wine and Soup
Whether we’re making Tuscan ribollita, Mexican tortilla soup, or French soupe à l’oignon, wine is always a key ingredient at our house (where there’s always a spare cup of wine in the kitchen). And while the sugar is the main component of the wine that adds flavor to a soup,…
Yet Another Reason to Hate Online Retailers
Much Internet vitriol has been directed at Amazon lately for a certain, “un-Christmassy” business practice — when shoppers use its price check app this Saturday at brick-and-mortar stores to tell lazy Amazon its competitors’ prices, the online retail giant will award up to $5 in discounts. The strategically timed move…
Derek Boogaard: Ex-Aero Afflicted with Concussion-Related Disease
Derek “Boogeyman” Boogaard, a former Houston Aero enforcer who we got to know before his NHL career took off, has been found to have suffered with a neurodegenerative disease that medical experts have linked to concussions. Boogaard, once one of the league’s most feared brawlers, died on May 13 at…
A Visit to the Guerlain Trunk Show at Neiman Marcus
If you missed the first day of the Guerlain trunk show at Neiman Marcus yesterday, you still have time to zip over to the Galleria for a consultation with National Fragrance and Beauty Director Marie Line Patry. The trunk show continues today, December 9 between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m…
Sam & Saracen: The Week in Photos
It’s time again to check out the Houston Press Flickr Pool and see what kinds of art shots our talented photographers have added. We love street art, unique perspectives and beautiful photos of Houston’s creative community. If you think you’ve got a good eye, drop your pictures in the pool…
Openings & Closings: Trouble and Tacos
Blind Item of the Week: A Heights hotspot in a somewhat cursed location is rumored to be closing soon. Its intended replacement was said to have been a new Bruce Molzan restaurant, but the Ruggles owner’s current legal troubles may prevent that from coming to fruition. What will become of…
The X Factor: Hearts Are Broken on the Path to the Final Four
Last night marked only the second time that America’s votes had a direct influence on who went home. To recap within a recap, if you recall America’s votes place two contestants at the bottom, they then sing a “save me” song, and the judges then decide which of the two…
Coffee and Cocktails at Double Trouble Are Double Delights
I first met Robin Berwick while she was working as a bartender at Anvil Bar & Refuge. She said that she wanted to have her own place someday. Many bartenders say that, but Robin wasn’t just voicing a nebulous dream. A few months later, she left Anvil to have more…
Carrie Kelly: Woman Gets Five Years for Child Porn
It’s unusual for a woman to be arrested in a child-porn investigation, and when Brazoria County’s Carrie Kelly was picked up last April, some commenters predicted the charges would soon be dropped. But Kelly entered a guilty plea for child-porn distribution, and yesterday she was sentenced to five years in…
Nurses: “Fever Dream” is a Minor Madness
Here we go with the latest bit of musical and cinematic awesomeness from our buddy Mick Cullen over at Subterranean Radio. When he says, “You’ve got to see this video” then we know that we’ll be discovering something amazing. This is Nurses and the official video for their song “Fever…
A Chit-Chat With Michelle White, the Menil’s Recently Promoted Curator
The Menil Collection. Richard Serra. A wedding. Lee Bontecou. Civil Rights photography. Leslie Hewitt. What a life. Michelle White has a hand on everything listed above as a recently minted Menil curator, a job she was promoted to last month. (About the one item that doesn’t exactly fit in the…
Last Night: My Morning Jacket At Verizon Wireless Theater
Check out our slideshow of photos from the show. My Morning Jacket, at least to me, are a festival band. It’s their natural habitat. Their records are built to be projected across city parks. Out of the half dozen times we have settled in front of Jim James and company,…
Houston’s thelastplaceyoulook Gets Into The Christmas Spirit With “Do You Hear?”
Rocks Off is getting into the Christmas spirit, slowly but surely, and now that it’s finally December, all your Facebook posts concerning your holiday plans have become much more tolerable. The music, classic though it may be, has needed an update for quite some time. In theory, we appreciate those…
Watch Out Big East, Here Come the Cougars
The expansion of the Big East has been a long-expected announcement, especially seeing as how several members of the conference are on the verge of departure. And one of the long-rumored names of this expansion has been the University of Houston. The expansion finally became official on Wednesday afternoon with…
Wine & Truffle Dinner at Valentino Vin Bar
As if a wine hangover weren’t bad enough, did you know you can actually get a truffle hangover? I woke up with one after five luscious courses of food at the recent Truffle & Wine dinner held at Valentino. Who can resist a hook like white truffles — flown in…
Community: Make a Glee-ful Noise
So here we are. This was the last new episode of Community we’ll get for a while. There’s no telling when the show will be back, but one thing’s certain: This was probably not the way to go out. Community has always existed halfway between our world and its own…
Reviews For The Easily Distracted: We Need To Talk About Kevin
Title: We Need To Talk About Kevin I’ll Bite…Why Do We Need To Talk About Him? Because he’s in prison for killing a bunch of his classmates. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: Three-and-a-half Drano bottles out of five. Tagline: “Mummy’s little monster.” Better Tagline: “Barbarism begins at…
A Roundup of the 2011 Music Industry Based Strictly on Band Names
Theologians love saying things like “Man is created superior to animals” and “Animals can’t be equal with humans.” And then we go scouring philosophy books to see if animals have immortal spirits and if this means we’ll someday meet our pets in heaven. That’s a bunch of horse dung. The…
Bartender Chat: Danny of Vinoteca Poscol
One of the great things about this gig is talking to a new bartender every week and finding out where they like to go to sip and snack after a hard day. Last week Marcus of CHA recommended Poscol, and I had never been. Italian food? Good. Wine? Good. So…
The Top 5 Nintendo Controllers You’ve Never Heard Of
Art Attack has been on an old school video game kick lately. It’s not just the nostalgia of it, either. Back in the day video games were seen as an opportunity to throw any and all science at the wall and see what stuck. The whole industry might turn out…
Comment of the Day: I Rode the Schoolbus with an (Alleged) Killer!
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Week in Photos: Bookstop
Each week, we take a dip into the Houston Press Flickr pool and see what our talented photographers have been up to. We’re looking for pictures that represent the best of Houston, from food to art to events, to secret hidden spots of beauty. Just drop them in our Flickr…
Converted for the Gifts? Top 10 Celebrity Converted Jews
The other night we happened to catch that classic Seinfeld episode where Seinfeld’s dentist converts to Judaism and Jerry gets all up in arms about it. What’s so funny about Jerry’s miff is that he’s not upset that the guy isn’t taking the religion seriously; no, he thinks his dentist…
Hot, Hot Christmas: Nine Erotic Novels About the Holiday Season (Semi-NSFW)
Porn never sleeps. You’d think the holy season of baby Jesus and Santa would not be fodder for writers of erotica, both soft-core and not-so-soft-core, but you’d be wrong. Geez, there’s probably a subgenre out there of Veteran’s Day “romance” novels. To be sure, Christmas can be romantic, with sincere…
Hootenanny 101: Folk Songs to Help You Study for Finals
It’s the last week of classes for most of us who are still in school, which means that next week is finals time. We here at Rocks Off feel your pain — it’s hard trying to cram for five finals on only 60 milligrams of Adderall. Hell, we have two…
Hot Cross Buns: Houston’s 10 Best Bakeries
My friend Dr. Ricky has long said that there should be a comprehensive list of all the wonderful ethnic bakeries in town. I don’t disagree, and in fact that’s a list for another time. Today, however, we’re focusing on all the different forms and varieties of bakeries in Houston. And…
Top 5 Gifts for the TV Addict
Struggle for gift ideas no longer, Christmas shopper! If a person watches any television at all, she qualifies as a TV addict. It’s just the nature of Millionaire Matchmaker. So any of the following gift ideas should have you set for the coming season, a favorite among your friends and…
UPDATED, with Mugshots: East Texas Grinches Steal $20,000 of Foster Kids’ Christmas Presents
UPDATE, 01/06/2011: Longview police have released names and photos of two suspects in this case: Racheal Bradley and Sarah Adams. They have also recovered some of the loot. We spend a lot of time here wandering about in the pits of human depravity, but this one is about as depressing…
LaDondrell Montgomery: Life Sentence for Robbery Thrown Out Because He Was in Jail at the Time
If you need an alibi for a robbery, “I was in jail at the time” seems like a pretty good one. It wasn’t good enough for LaDondrell Montgomery, though: He got a life sentence last month for a crime that happened while he was incarcerated. That would be something a…
Happy Birthday, Jim Morrison: Top 5 Songs About the Lizard King
We’ve always felt a deep connection with Jim Morrison, so much so that we’d rather read No One Here gets Out Alive than listen to any one Doors song. The poet and legendary front man left us far too soon, and in his wake is a wealth of stories and…
Keeping It Kosher: Top 5 Hanukkah Gifts
I am not Jewish, but I sure like the food. (Kasha varnishkas haunts my comfort food dreams alongside macaroni and cheese.) And even though I probably won’t be giving or receiving any Hanukkah gifts myself this year, I couldn’t resist putting a gift guide together based on the pretty cool…
Today’s VOICE Daily Deal: $12 for $25 at Sylvia’s Enchilada Kitchen
The bright colors of the food and the decor at Sylvia’s Enchilada Kitchen are awfully festive, perfect for a holiday meal, or the gift of one, so today’s VOICE Daily Deal is great for the season. For $12, you can get $25 worth of Sylvia Casares’s famous enchiladas, a 2010…
A Festivus Miracle: Hyde Park’s Stolen Christmas Tree Returned
We told you Monday how someone had stolen the traditional outdoor Christmas tree put up by the Hyde Park neighborhood in Montrose. Dry those tears: The miracle we foretold occurred: The dude who took it returned it, and all is well. “GREAT NEWS!!!! The Hyde Park Community Christmas Tree has…
“Gay Apparel” Stripped from Christmas Carol, But Quickly Re-donned
Say you’re an elementary school music teacher singing Christmas carols, specifically “Deck the Halls,” with your class and every time the lyric “don we now our gay apparel” comes up, the kids look at each other and giggle hysterically because the word “gay” is super funny to eight year olds…
Health Department Roundup
We wanted to focus on Cuban restaurants for the roundup, in honor of Elian Gonzalez’s 18th birthday week. There weren’t any Cuban restaurants on this week’s list, though, so we’re just looking at Hispanic places, and we’re really just doing that because more than half of the places that were…
Jerry Rice Doesn’t Really Grasp the Whole “Stock Market” Concept (w/ VIDEO)
It seems like every retired NFL player with any small modicum of celebrity over the last decade has found his way onto television, either on the NFL Network or ESPN. The amount of money that is spent on salaries for largely repetitive, and oftentimes useless, opinions has got to be…
American Horror Story: Everybody Loves You When You’re Dead
In general we don’t bother telling you that a review contains spoilers because we don’t know why you’d read a review of a television show you haven’t seen. However, this one is a big one, so be advised that we are going to be ruining a big part of the…
Artist of the Week: The Underappreciated O.N.E. Suits Up
Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group “Artist of the Week,” bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn’t awful? Email their particulars to sheaserrano@gmail.com. O.N.E. has long been a Houston Press favorite…
What The Hell Do I Do With Unripe Figs?
This is the first year that both of my kids are in school, and their daily absence has created a bit of a time vacuum for my wife. Rather than go stir-crazy, she has been spending most of her days volunteering at the school. Trading two kids for 20 may…
Free for All: Art Without a Price Tag
You might want to bundle up for Friday’s screening of It’s a Wonderful Life by the Alamo Drafthouse Rolling Roadshow. Frank Capra’s Christmas classic stars James Stewart as the suicidal George Bailey, who’s had such a horrible streak of bad luck, he’s determined to kill himself — on Christmas Eve…
Rebecca Dauler: State Says She Ran One-Woman Extortion Racket
FacebookRebecca Dauler: Take your little cease-and-desist letter and stick it, Texas Workforce Commission!Say what you will about Rebecca Dauler, but if what the State of Texas is alleging about her is true, you can’t deny that the 33-year-old Clear Lake woman has plenty of pluck and good-old-fashioned gumption in spades…
Classic Christmas: A Jolly Christmas from Frank Sinatra
There are many arguments to be made about music, but one that I doubt anyone could actually win is the one that goes, “There was someone in music at some point cooler than Frank Sinatra.” Trying to make that argument is like trying to say Kobe was better than Michael…
Ingredient of the Week: Coconut Soda
What is it? Often made from carbonated water, corn sugar, and coconut extract, coconut soda tastes like a sweetened club soda with a hint of coconut milk. They are packaged in typical aluminum soda cans and come in packs of six…
Dear Santa: The Most Sought After Christmas Toys of the Past 50 Years
Believe it or not, we were all children at one time or another. And we had extreme wants once Christmas came around, some that we put into writing in humble letters to Santa Claus. Bikes, dolls, gaming systems, puppies, ponies, more JFK assassination books, are all things that litter the…
Rigoberto Vargas-Munoz & Edgar Munoz-Munoz: Uncle-Nephew Big-Time Drug Dealers Busted
Two Houston-area men have been arrested and charged with running a large drug ring dealing marijuana, cocaine and methamphetamine, the U.S. Attorney’s Office announced. Rigoberto Vargas-Munoz and his nephew, Edgar Munoz-Munoz, are both Mexican nationals living here illegally, the USAO says. They supervised an operation that brought the drugs across…
Dear Hollywood, Get Some New Ideas: Starship Troopers, The Firm
We were somewhat shocked the other day to read that Starship Troopers, the alien-bug gorefest, is getting a reboot. Why were we so perplexed by this particular remaking when we have already established that Hollywood has no new thoughts? Typically, when Hollywood reboots a “franchise,” which, sadly, Starship Troopers is,…
First Look at Liberty Kitchen
“Chef Lance is back,” read the marquee outside Liberty Kitchen last Saturday afternoon, a gloomy day that was brightened only by the prospect of trying the brand-new oyster bar. We weren’t the only ones to whom the idea appealed, apparently; every table in the the restaurant was packed at lunch…
Be a Houston Press Intern This Spring
Calling all journalism students! The Houston Press is recruiting undergraduate journalism and communications students for its Spring 2012 internship program. By “student,” we do not mean “a student of life”; we mean “currently enrolled in college student.” There’s no cash offered with this gig, only college credits. Don’t bother applying…
Wanted: Spring 2012 Journalism Interns!
Calling all journalism students! The Houston Press is recruiting undergraduate journalism and communications students for its Spring 2012 internship program. By “student,” we do not mean “a student of life”; we mean “currently enrolled in college student.” There’s no cash offered with this gig, only college credits. Don’t bother applying…
Wanted: Spring 2012 Journalism Interns!
Calling all journalism students! The Houston Press is recruiting undergraduate journalism and communications students for its Spring 2012 internship program. By “student,” we do not mean “a student of life;” we mean “currently enrolled in college student.” There’s no cash offered with this gig, only college credits. Don’t bother applying…
Holiday Classics: The Linzer Cookie
For me, the holidays are all about family. But coming in at a very close second, like probably way too close of a second, is another one of my favorite things in the world: holiday food. I don’t know about you, but when I think about this time of year,…
Early Warning: Coldplay Bringing Mylo Xyloto To Houston On June 25
Coldplay is bringing their Mylo Xyloto tour to Houston next summer on June 25 at the Toyota Center. The band was last in Houston on July 22, 2009 at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion on the down-slope of the Viva La Vida tour. The “international makeout ‘n’ cuddle band” has been…
The X Factor: The Final Five
It’s Dance Music Hits week on The X Factor! Last night contestants were assigned two songs to perform, but this week is a single elimination week to bring us to a final four. After the first set of performances, Steve breaks out some killer news: There was a communication error…
Last Night: Ten Man Jam At Verizon Wireless Theater
Holy honky-tonk hell, Houston. When you put on your cowboy boots, cowboy hats and drinking pants, you sure can throw down with the best of them. Wednesday night at Verizon Wireless Theater, 100.3 KILT continued its annual Ten Man Jam, with quite a solid lineup consisting of both reputable musicians…
Joseph Mike Devia: Stabbed Girlfriend to Death, Left Her in a Ditch Because She Wouldn’t Get an Abortion
Houston police have arrested a 19-year-old man who they say stabbed a woman to death last year and then abandoned her body in a ditch, all because she refused to abort his child. Joseph Mike Devia, who was in Chicago after enrolling in the Navy, was arrested Wednesday morning, the…
“The Lino” Special at The Fish Restaurant & Sushi Bar
“Want to eat me?” “Excuse me?!” It turns out I wasn’t being sexually harassed, but rather I was being invited to The Fish Restaurant and Sushi Bar in Midtown to try a a new special on the menu named after a good friend of mine. I’ve often wondered how one…
For Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy‘s Debut: The Film Adaptations of John Le Carre Novels, Ranked
It’s stating the obvious to say John Le Carré is the master of the spy novel. He reinvented — if not completely invented — the genre with 1961’s The Spy Who Came In From The Cold, and there isn’t a real clunker among the 22 novels he’s released. Adapting them…
“And A S.W.A.T Team in a Pear Tree”: Hip Hop Christmas songs
Have you grown tired of hearing the same played out Christmas songs on 99.1 yet? Of course you have. Even if you avoid the radio, you hear the music at the grocery store, company holiday parties, even at bars you escape to in order to avoid holiday overcheer. It’s almost…
Garden Fresh: Radishes
A Master Gardener will know the ideal dates to plant and harvest each crop, but a Casual Tiller like myself requires a simpler scheme, so I go with holidays. Tomatoes and hot peppers go in after Valentine’s Day; broccoli comes out on St. Pat’s. Parsley and cilantro get planted after…
Comment of the Day: WWJD?
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Season’s Greetings, Sent From Your iPad
In the olden days, you drove to the pharmacy or, if you were so lucky, Hallmark store, searched through hundreds of holiday cards, beholden to whichever cards made you cringe the least and that you could match envelops to, drove home, filled them out, then drove to the post office…
Pop Rocks: How Do You React to the Proposed Grown Ups Sequel? With Animated Gifs.
It’s a busy time of year for movie critic types. Many of us are butting up against deadlines for award nominations, watching lots of year-end screeners of some pretty memorable films by the likes of Terrence Malick, Steve McQueen and Lynne Ramsay, among others. But everyone needs a palate cleanser…
Pop Rocks: Reacting to News of a Grown Ups Sequel, with Animated Gifs
It’s a weird time of year for movie critic types. Many of us are butting up against deadlines for award nominations, watching lots of year-end screeners of some pretty memorable films by the likes of Terrence Malick, Steve McQueen and Lynne Ramsay, among others. But everyone needs a palate cleanser…
Boner Beer Makers Suing Each Other Over Fraud Charges
When something so pure and holy as Boner Beer ends up with its key players in court filing suits, it just calls into question whether humanity can get along at all. But, sadly, it’s true. Two founders of the company are suing the other two founders, saying they defrauded them…
Top 6 Most Frustrating Video Games
If you’re anything like Art Attack, you’ve gotten so mad at a video game that you headbutted a hole in the wall while cursing the name of a fictional plumber. Or maybe you actually use the pills the nice doctor prescribed. Regardless, we do very poorly with game rage and…
Mediocrity Is Served at the South Fork Ranch on Top Chef: Texas
I have one thing to say in advance of tonight’s episode: Dean Fucking Fearing. Thank God. An honest-to-Christ Texas chef as a judge on this show for a change. That out of the way, on to the Quickfire Round! Fearing, as mentioned, is the guest judge this episode, and the…
Sleigh Bells ‘Reign’, Are You Listening? Noise Pop Duo Unveils New Album Details
Brooklyn-based Sleigh Bells’ Derek Miller, former guitarist for hard-core band Poison the Well, and Alexis Krauss, former singer of a girlie group no one has ever heard of have finally finished the much anticipated follow up to 2010’s Treats. Reign of Terror is slated to be released on Valentine’s Day…
10 Very Odd Nativity Scenes, Starring Dogs, Rubber Duckies and…Santa?
Nativity scenes are a staple at many homes in the Christmas season. Whether they’re realistic or stylistic, these portrayals of the manger are supposed to remind us of the true meaning of the holiday, in case we haven’t watched Charlie Brown recently. Most nativity scenes are straightforward models, maybe with…
Museum of Dysfunction IV
Relationships are the theme for Museum of Dysfunction IV, this year’s presentation of experimental theater shorts by Mildred’s Umbrella Theater Company. The group had more than 200 submissions from across the country, but only 19 were accepted. Among them is Golden Mareena by Asher Wyndham. Set in a motel room,…
Complete Messiah
Chances are you only think you’ve heard Handel’s Messiah in its entirety. Most modern groups perform various parts of it, a trend that started right after its first performance in 1742, when Handel started fiddling with it, making a seemingly endless number of changes. Mercury Baroque, under the direction of…
Rohmer X 2: Le Rayon vert and 4 aventures de Reinette et Mirabelle
The late Eric Rohmer was a busy man. In addition to being the co-founder of French New Wave cinema (he directed more than 50 films), he was a celebrated novelist and critic. Two of his best loved films, Le Rayon vert (Summer) and 4 aventures de Reinette et Mirabelle (Four…
Grand Manner
Backstage stories of the private lives of actors often make for great theater. And that’s partly why A.R. Gurney’s The Grand Manner, a delicious homage to the wonders behind the curtain, is such a charming tale. At the center of the comedy is Katharine Cornell, a real-life grand dame of…
East End Live Art: Politiqueer
Kitty Loco is going to have a hard time of it at POLITIQUEER. A creation of absurdist filmmaker Stephanie Saint Sanchez, the character stars in Kitty Loco in Good Queer/Bad Queer. Kitty will have to maneuver through the explosive minefield of queer political correctness. That’s no easy task, especially since…
Very Merry Pops
Santa Claus sits in with the Houston Symphony during this weekend’s Very Merry Pops concerts. Principal Pops Conductor Michael Krajewski leads the orchestra while Charles Hausmann directs the Houston Symphony Chorus in a rousing program of Christmas classics. Expect a mix of traditional carols, seasonal pop hits and a few…
The Dog(run) Diaries
The black comedy The Dog(run) Diaries is populated by Auden, a 15-year-old boy intent on the sexual conquest of Bruce, his appropriately reluctant 38-year-old teacher, Auden’s dead sister and his imaginary canine friends. Written by Brooklyn playwright Andrew Kramer, Dog(run) is presented today as a staged reading by Wordsmyth Theater…
A Linda Eder Christmas
It’s easy to underestimate singer Linda Eder. Her range, both vocally and stylistically, is actually very impressive. Her technique and approach are both flawless. Her only fault? She makes it all look much too easy. She is, in short, a singer’s singer. When she appears today with the Houston Symphony…
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
Any actor will tell you, never work with kids or dogs (they always steal the spotlight). The one exception to the rule might be The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, a stage comedy adapted from Barbara Robinson’s 1972 book. That’s because the show is so fun for both the audience and…
the GENDER book Launch
The artistic trio Boston Bostian, Mel Reiff Hill and Jay Mays considered the question of gender for their project, the GENDER book, which is being launched today at Lawndale Art Center. How exactly does gender express itself in a person’s life? How is gender different from sexuality? How many other…
IKEA Houston’s Silver Screen at Discovery Green: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
The mild Houston winter means we can do some of our holiday celebrating outdoors, including IKEA Houston’s Silver Screen at Discovery Green: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Since its release in 1989, the classic John Hughes comedy regularly ranks on various top 10 holiday films lists. Besides, how many times in…
Forbidden Broadway
The Great White Way gets a hearty send-up in the satirical revue Forbidden Broadway, presented by Masquerade Theatre. Writer/director Gerard Alessandrini set his sights on Broadway’s biggest shows in 1982, poking fun at Rent, The Phantom of the Opera and The Lion King, among others (the show is frequently updated…
White Christmas
Even if you saw White Christmas at the Hobby three years ago, actress Carol Swarbrick says you’ll still see some new things if you come to the latest version courtesy of Theatre Under the Stars. Besides new cast members, a new director and choreographer have put together new dance numbers. Swarbrick,…
Anna Bella Eema
According to Jason Nodler, the artistic director of Catastrophic Theatre and the director of Anna Bella Eema, the company’s newest show is “about a mother, her daughter and her daughter’s [twin] that she’s made out of the mud around her trailer park.” Each character tells the story from their own…
Christmas Carol
When it comes to holiday entertainment, you usually have a choice between traditional or updated. Country Playhouse is happy to mix the two in its production of Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol. Inspired by a production from London’s West End that featured a solo performance, the Country Playhouse version features…
“Sketchy Neighbors: Saddest Love Story Almost Never Told: Based on a True Idea”
Sketchy Neighbors, the group putting on the art exhibit “Saddest Love Story Almost Never Told: Based on a True Idea,” is known for its unorthodox approach. Members pull ideas for materials and concepts literally out of a hat. One idea for “Love Song” was “Texas is on fire as a…
Ellis Paul
A veteran, constantly touring troubadour, Ellis Paul is one of the most respected artists in the folk genre. A man of many talents with 15 albums under his belt since he broke out of the Boston open-mike scene in 1993, Paul can come on like Woody Guthrie, full of Dust…
Max Bemis
Things are going well for Max Bemis and his most famous project Say Anything. Bemis recently announced that the band had signed to Equal Vision Records, and that they’ve finished recording a new album titled Anarchy, My Dear for 2012. Anarchy reunited Say Anything with Tim O’Heir, who produced the…
Trampled by Turtles
We firmly believe that the bulk of good music that we’ll see in the next decade will find itself launched at our eardrums from the strings of acoustic guitars, mandolins and violins. An increasingly large number of artists wear the trappings of bluegrass, Americana and our personal favorite hybrid, Southern…
Capsule Art Reviews: “Ballast/Break,” “Book Report,” “New Formations: Czech Avant-Garde Art and Modern Glass from the Roy and Mary Cullen Collection,” “Toni LaSelle: Climate of the Heart: Paintings from the 1950’s”
“Ballast/Break” I’m not so jazzed about the 2D works in Alexis Granwell and Carrie Scanga’s “Ballast/Break” in Lawndale Art Center’s project space, but there is some pretty nice 3D stuff going on. There’s nothing wrong with Granwell’s large drypoint and monotype prints, images that look like architectural sketches for yurts…
Capsule Stage Reviews: Anna Bella Eema, A Contemporary American’s Guide to a Successful Marriage @ 1959, The Grand Manner, Museum of Dysfunction IV, The Nutcracker
Anna Bella Eema The world of the surreal and the real is fashioned into bold theatrical relief by playwright Lisa D’Amour, composer Chris Sidorfsky, a trio of superlative actors and the backstage wizards of sound effects, lighting and creepy set design. Under the watchful, all-knowing eye of director Jason Nodler,…
Joel Osteen’s Reality Show
SPACED CITY Joel Osteen’s Reality Show Some suggestions from us By Richard Connelly Lakewood Church’s Joel and Victoria Osteen will be the stars of a new reality show by the producer of Survivor. “The premise of the show is that ordinary people will give up several days or longer to…
Revolution and Homophobia
Dear Mexican, I read in your book that Mexico is due for a revolution about every 100 years or so. The last one was in the first part of the Twentieth Century and you said they are about ready for another one. Do you think the drug war presently being…
The Dance
It’s hard to tell if it’s cheating, or if it’s just pretty much the slickest pick-up move of all-time. Ryan Cirilo, tall and steady and handsome and unassuming, is standing on the indoor stage of Hefley’s Bar (138 W. Gray), a less-than-two-year-old depot of wood, wit and charm, ready to…
Gran Success
Check out El Gran Malo’s colorful mural and tequila shrine for yourself. On a Sunday night in November, half the city was watching the Houston Dynamo play their toughest against — and ultimately lose to — the L.A. Galaxy in the final game of the MLS Cup. I was, too,…
My Morning Jacket
Over the last 12 years, My Morning Jacket have undergone the kind of perfect, organic growth that you wish every band would go through. Starting as a ragtag bunch of longhairs from Louisville, Kentucky, that loved Skynyrd and Neil Young alike (“Southern Man” be damned), the band proved early on…
Poster Boy
Like what you see? Be sure to check out our slideshow of Uncle Charlie’s coolest concert posters. Uncle Charlie chats with an aging punk while people buzz inside his Bayou City Arts Festival tent, which looks like Walt Disney’s toilet after a long night of swigging paint and dropping acid…
Whack a Mole
John le Carré’s Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, the 1974 spy novel generally regarded as the writer’s finest, is predicated on a pair of enigmatic personalities: the colorless bureaucratic master-spook George Smiley and the double agent the Soviets have planted near the top of British intelligence whom Smiley must unmask. Although…
Locally Speaking
The spoils of the Houston music scene in 2011 were bountiful. There was Robert Ellis’s big national debut in Photographs, which garnered him virtual ink with most every major music blog, not to mention a host of opening gigs for the likes of John Doe and his hero George Jones…
Another Perspective
10. Mr. Wired Up (Oh Boy), Inside My Mind Maybe it was because this tape didn’t carry any sort of real buzz or hype behind it beyond what (Oh Boy)’s camp was selling, but it thoroughly overachieved. It glows with fun. You know that thing where the snakes jump out…
Gifts Galore
The holidays have brought a cornucopia of theatrical splendors to Houston, and the choice is rich indeed. Humor reigns supreme, and gifted playwrights meet talented actors to create the magic of live performance across the city. At the Alley Theatre through December 27, the ever-popular A Christmas Carol by Charles…
Scratch Acid
Before they help headline next year’s All Tomorrow’s Parties Festival, curated in part by Neutral Milk Hotel’s Jeff Mangum, Austin’s own Scratch Acid will be playing some warm-up dates around the country. Houston sees the band on Friday in their first show here since their mid-’80s heyday, and disbandment in…
Verbal Abuse
Verbal Abuse is a band rooted in Houston’s storied punk scene, and tales of Nicki Sicki’s music career still echo up almost three decades after Verbal Abuse began. It all began when Sicki replaced Norman Cooper in Legionnaire’s Disease, which wasn’t hard since Cooper didn’t even have an amp to…
