Let Them Eat Cake: Chef Bruce Molzan Sends Out Pizza to Protesters
A group of 25 protesters outside Bruce Molzan’s new River Oaks restaurant were faced with an unusual concession this evening. Corner Table, where the beleaguered Molzan is now head chef, sent out two pizzas to the picket line, delivered by waiters in pressed white shirts and black aprons. The protesters…
Kathryn Murray: Teacher Accused of Student Sex in Trouble Again
Kathryn Murray, the Memorial Middle School teacher who’s been charged with having sex with a 15-year-old student, is in trouble again KHOU reports that at a hearing today, a judge revoked Murray’s bond after the boy she allegedly had sex with was discovered at her home. The boy had allegedly…
It’s 1:30 And Sheila Jackson Lee & Al Green Are Already Sitting In Their Seats For The State Of The Union, And You Can’t Budge Them
This seat is mine! MINE!!It’s become a tradition for camera-hungry congresspeople to park their butts in aisle seats hours before the State of the Union speech to ensure they get a moment with the President as he leaves the chamber after the speech. It’s about 2:30 Eastern time as we…
Half-off (Or More!) at Orange Leaf Frozen Yogurt, The Fish, Charivari
Indulge your sweet tooth with today’s Houston Press Voice Daily Deal, good for half-off ($5 for $10) of the decadent fro-yo desserts at Orange Leaf Frozen Yogurt (Memorial City). The frozen yogurt at Orange Leaf combine superior taste and texture, while also delivering the amazing flavors you remember from childhood…
Cloud Nothings Top Lineup for 22nd Annual KTRU Outdoor Show
The 22nd Annual KTRU Outdoor Show has been announced for March 9, and it features Cloud Nothings as headliners, along with B L A C K I E, Fat Tony, Buxton, Teen Daze, Delicate Steve and Featherface. The event is free, and runs from noon until well into the evening…
Rich Get Richer: Moody Foundation Gives Rice $20 Million for Arts Center
You know what the Rice campus needs? More buildings!!! If people work hard enough, we can cover every square inch of the property with a building!! The Moody Foundation is doing its part. It’s given Rice $20 million to build a new Center for the Arts on campus. The center…
Guess Who Is Bringing Ted Nugent to the State of the Union Address?
Texas Rep. Steve Stockman, arguably the Tea Party’s No. 1 advocate on Capitol Hill, has already had an eventful first term his second time in Washington. About three weeks ago, Stockman said he was ready to initiate impeachment proceedings against President Barack Obama if Obama’s proposed gun-control legislation went through…
Today’s DVDs & Blu-rays: The Sessions, The Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Kid with the Bike
Helen Hunt, John Hawkes and William H. Macy star in The Sessions; Ben Lewin writes and directs. Mark O’Brien was a poet and journalist who died in 1999 at the age of 49. He was also a polio survivor who spent much of his life inside an iron lung. As…
Know What You’re Getting in This Box of Chocolates: A 12-Ounce Whitman’s Sampler, Analyzed
Forrest Gump wasn’t quite right. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates when that box is a 12-ounce Whitman’s Sampler because you pretty much always know what you’re gonna get. Although the sampler is billed as an “assortment,” this confection collection inevitably includes, for better or for worse, certain stock…
Weather Week: One More Blast of “Winter” Before “Spring”
The seasons in Houston can get a little confusing. Well, except for summer, which is as easy to spot as a fat, sweaty guy in a car with a broken air-conditioning unit on 45 south in August. Now, that’s hot. Outside of the sweltering abuse of July through September, our…
You’ll Dig Joshua Goode’s Archeological Show at Darke Gallery
Joshua Goode is a big kid at heart. The Fort Worth artist has a silly sense of humor, plays with toys and is boundlessly imaginative. Just look at his current show up at Darke Gallery, better off temporarily known as the Contemporary Alternative Natural History Museum. The Detering Street gallery…
Keep Your Tired Love-Song Cliches off My Mixtape
I’m a firm believer in the old adage “Never date someone who makes you a mixtape,” so please don’t break that rule this Valentine’s Day and proceed with your plans to create a mixtape full of love songs. Yes, throwing some romantic songs together may seem like a cheap way…
Lent Sacrifices: A Sliding Scale, from Broccoli to the Papacy
Happy Fat Tuesday — chow down on that King Cake, because tomorrow begins Lent. For 40 days, you’re expected to sacrifice something, because the Lord Our God apparently cares whether you’ve snuck that Snickers bar you promised to give up. In case you’re still deciding what to avoid in your…
What the $#!& Is Metallica Wearing?!
Back in the ’80s, Metallica was the shit of all shits. We all know this. If you were alive then and you were into metal, I’m sure you have some pictures with you wearing a) a Metallica T-shirt or b) the exact clothes Metallica would wear. But things changed. I’ll…
What The Hell is Under Joker’s Serving Tray?
Right now the comic world is dangling on the edge of a tremendous cliff as we await the conclusion to Batman: Death of the Family. The Joker is back in Gotham and has discovered religion to boot. He has systematically torn the Bat-Family apart in a quest to free Batman,…
First Look at Pizza L’Vino: Pizza, Wine and Craft Beer, Delivered to Your Door
As I was catching up with a friend over a few slices last week at Pizza L’Vino — the month-old pizza place on Waugh directly across from the new Whole Foods Market — my friend began reflecting on the subjective nature of food, something I’m always eager to discuss. “If…
4 Dead Video Game Systems That Are Still Getting New Games
I recently lamented the loss of the Playstation 2. Or as I call it, the Final Fantasy XII machine. All kidding aside, I really did love the system, which is still the top selling console in the world so far, but with the PS3 a staple and the PS4 on…
What’s the Appeal of King Cake? It’s All About the Tradition
Jude Tortorice of Rao’s Bakery has stories to tell when it’s king cake season. His father, Jake, bought the 72-year-old Beaumont-based bakery from Johnny Rao 15 years ago and today the three locations — including one in Spring and one in Nederland — remain the most popular bakeries in and…
Please Welcome Our New Advice Columnist, the Geto Boys’ Willie D
Rocks Off is so excited about this, we could just… well, we don’t know what, but we’re pretty damn excited. About a week ago, we got an email from Willie D of the Geto Boys offering his services as an advice columnist. No shit. It turns out that besides one…
Rockets World: Tough Loss, Royce White a Viper, Jeremy Lin Does ESPN (with Videos)
It’s been a strange week for the Rockets. They obliterated two Western Conference playoff contenders, tying an NBA record for three-pointers in one of the games, lost to the NBA champs and a really bad team on the road even if Jeremy Lin did drop a posterizing dunk during the…
Pop Rocks: Movies To Watch On Valentine’s Day That Have Nothing To Do With Nicholas Sparks
This Thursday is Valentine’s Day, when men and women across the country make a half-assed attempt to show enthusiasm for their significant others. Scoff all you like, there’s still a good chance you’ll be scrambling for dinner reservations and standing in a 20 minute line for overpriced roses that match…
Peeing Cat or Pooping Dog? Pet Psychic Sonya Fitzpatrick Can Tell You What’s Up
Folks like Tori Spelling, Rosie O’Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres have received readings for their animals from pet psychic Sonya Fitzpatrick. It could be your turn during Fitzpatrick’s debut “Pet Talk” workshop on Saturday, February 23, in Houston. Join world-renowned animal communicator Sonya Fitzpatrick for an exclusive one-day workshop to learn…
The Eating…Our Words 100: Jody Stevens, Owner and Cake Designer of jodycakes
It’s a shame how many people are denied their favorite sweets because of dietary regulations. Whether they are gluten-intolerant, on a vegan or vegetarian diet, eating baked goods can be quite a challenge. However, Jody Stevens, owner of the dietary-friendly bakery, jodycakes, decided that everyone should have their cake and…
The Rocks Off 100: Elroy Boogie, Top-Notch Turntablist
Welcome to the Rocks Off 100, our portrait gallery of the most compelling profiles and personalities in the far-flung Houston music community — a lot more than just musicians, but of course they’re in there too. See the entire Rocks Off 100 at this link. Who? Elroy Boogie of the…
Group Pushing for Texans to Vote on Gambling Finds Texans Really, Really Want to Vote
It’s just a snapshot, but if a new poll is to be believed, Texans are nearly as unified in their desire to vote upon gambling legalization as they are in loathing Lance Armstrong. A survey released from Let Texans Decide, an organization leading the movement to allow Texans to vote…
Taco Bell’s Cantina Bell Burrito Hits, and Misses
Last summer I tried out a Cantina Bell Salad at Taco Bell, and enjoyed it quite a bit. I have been meaning to try the burrito from the same menu since then, but never got around to it. After a weekend of hard-partying with friends, I was looking for a…
Lee Greenwood on “God Bless the USA”: “I’ve Sung It at Least 5,000 Times”
Most people aren’t familiar with the album that spawned Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA.” Released in 1984, You’ve Got a Good Love Comin’ featured cuts written by future Alanis Morrissette hitmaker Glen Ballard and established country songwriters Wayland Holyfield and Mary Ann Kennedy. The album was your typical hard-lovin’…
What’s So Bad About Binge Watching TV?
“Binge watching,” as it’s being called, is the process of watching multiple episodes of a television show all at once. IFC’s Portlandia did a fabulous episode about the process when the characters watch endless hours of Battlestar Galactica and freak out when there are no more to be seen. As…
Surprisingly Easy Super Bowl Break-In Captured On Video (w/ Zapruder Analysis!)
Until a week or so ago, I had never been to the Super Bowl, so when Sunday morning in New Orleans rolled around last week, I wanted to make sure I made it over to the Superdome several hours before kickoff, partially to take in as much of the experience…
Houston’s 10 Best British Pubs: Close Your Eyes and Think of England
You’ll notice several things upon entering a British pub for the first time, especially if your only pub experiences to date have been in the States: The pubs are clean, bright and welcoming. The food is usually quite good. And pubs are family-friendly places — for the most part –…
Your Valentine’s Day Dress Guide
Valentine’s Day is coming and you have a hot date–what to wear? Whether you are going out to dinner, seeing a show, or some combination thereof, it’s always nice to look your best; this holds true whether your hot date is your significant other, or your own badass self. There’s…
Top 10 Bands Your Girlfriend Cannot Stand
A shared taste in music can be a critical part of any couple’s relationship, from going to a concert on their first date to narrowing down that one special song for their first wedding dance. But what if that’s not the case? Just from a bit of casual Googling, it’s…
Myron Anderson Funeral Services Announced
The late KTSU-FM 90.9 DJ Myron Anderson, who died last week following an unexpected illness, will be honored on Wednesday during two separate services. The public viewing is scheduled from noon to 4 p.m. Wednesday at Windsor Village United Methodist Church, 6000 Heatherbrook Dr…
Demarcus Moses: Hit with Murder Charge After Wild Stabbing of Shotgun-Toting Man
In the great game of life, when a showdown features a shotgun-toting man in an apartment versus a knife-wielding man trying to break into that apartment, the odds are usually with the gunman. But that wasn’t the case early Saturday morning on the southeast side, and Demarcus Jarrell Moses, 36,…
Morrissey Once Again Postpones Jefferson Theatre Gig
On Friday night, Morrissey fans learned that the former Smiths front man and bard of the morose had yet again postponed his gig at Beaumont’s Jefferson Theatre. This show had been highly anticipated, for the relatively out of the way venue and the fact that the man hasn’t played in…
No, Son, You Can’t Get a $200K Jury Award for Fallling Off a Ladder at Your Dad’s House
It was the Christmas Miracle That Wasn’t. Tony Perez was helping his parents string up Christmas lights in 2006 when he fell and broke his elbow. Apparently convinced he was solidly on Santa’s “Nice” list, he came to the determination that he should be awarded $200,000. The state Supreme Court…
Here’s Elton John In an Astros Jersey In 1986
Today, Houston Astros pitchers and catchers started returning to Kissimmee, Florida, for spring training in anticipation (and somewhat fright) of the 2013 season and their debut in the American League. Rewind: Rockin’ Houston Site Is a Glorious Monument to Local Concerts Past In honor of baseball returning to Houston in…
Ramiro Medrano Jr.: Strokes His Throbbing Gristle at a Stoplight in Front of Woman
Pocket pool wasn’t going to cut it for Ramiro Medrano Jr. as he drove around San Benito last weekend. Instead, the 29-year-old perv apparently needed to display his meat popsicle in the middle of a well-traveled street. Medrano, driving a gold Chrysler Sebring, was stopped at a red light. Next…
The Zombie Banh Mi at Cafe TH Can’t Be Killed
Now in its second year, the annual Zombie Banh Mi eating contest at Cafe TH drew seven competitors on Saturday, all attempting to finish the sandwich that no one could last year. The banh mi — so named for its capsaicin-riddled Zombie hot sauce and its association with the Houston…
Saturday Night: Alejandro Escovedo at the Continental Club
Alejandro Escovedo & the Sensitive Boys Continental Club February 9, 2013 It always makes me a little nervous when an artist opens with a true favorite right out of the gate, something you were expecting them to save until the encore. Like, “Well, that was the song I came to…
Jim Crane and Charlie Finley: The Future Through the Past
A man buys a baseball team. He alienates the fans. He trades away all of the veterans with big contracts and attempts to build a team through the farm system. There’s the threat of a forced move to another league. The other owners not wanting him in their club. And…
Dear Grammys, I’m Breaking Up With You
Dear Stupid Grammys, I have a bone to pick with you. I sat through Taylor Swift’s uninspired opening act while she half-sung/half-yodeled at a guy on a spinning bullseye. It was complete with an insulting and transparent Alice in Wonderland costume ripoff (which I’m not getting, by the way… is…
Rosa Loy’s Beautiful, Befuddling Paintings at McClain Gallery
In describing Rosa Loy’s work, artist Helmut Klarner writes that “the seemingly representational fails to explain itself.” That does so well to describe the experience of looking at Loy’s paintings that I couldn’t help but quote it here. Nearly 30 recent paintings and drawings by the German artist are on…
The Pope Quits? Popes Don’t Quit!
The world was rocked and shocked with the news that Joseph Ratzinger, 85, was quitting his day job. Sure, 85 seems a reasonable age to retire, but the thing is that Ratzinger also goes by the name Pope Benedict XVI, and popes, to put it simply, don’t quit. Borgias have…
Five Songs You Should Be Evicted for Playing
Here’s a news story you may have missed recently: a man in the UK was so utterly obsessed with the Spice Girls song “Viva Forever” that he played it over and over and over again, until he pissed off his neighbors and landlord so much that they kicked him out…
Lily Tomlin Still Shines Despite Forgetting Some of Her Act
Saturday night, Jones Hall was lit up with excitement for the special appearance of the one and only Lily Tomlin. Tomlin made a stop over in Houston despite her very busy schedule (she appears on ABC’s Malibu County and HBO’s Web Therapy) and was then off to Dallas, among other…
El Tiempo Cantina on Navigation, Opening Today, Comes Full Circle
In a big, bold move that throws The Original Ninfa’s on Navigation an ever-so-slightly threatening glance, El Tiempo Cantina opens today on Navigation Boulevard, just a stone’s throw away from Ninfa’s. While the El Tiempo building structure is brand spanking new to Navigation, the family that owns the now five…
Saturday Night: The xx at House of Blues
The xx, Austra House of Blues February 9, 2013 For a band that revels in bringing icy silence to post-punk, it could be relatively easy for The xx to lose all of that so-called “negative space” when playing to a cavernous venue packed to the gills with Houston concertgoers who…
Get Your Sriracha Potato Chips: New Lay’s Flavors Hitting Stores This Week
Lay’s potato chips announced a contest this past summer in which it asked for fans to submit their ideas for new potato chip flavors. The three best flavors would be created by the Lay’s folks and pushed to stores, while the winning flavor — and the person behind the idea…
Review: Phillip Lopate at Brazos Bookstore
Phillip Lopate is not a nice guy. At least, that’s what he tells himself while he is writing. Lopate, a well-known essayist, teacher, and versatile scribe in general, came to Brazos Bookstore on Friday to read from his two new books, a collection of essays called A Portrait Inside My…
College Basketball: Buzzer Beaters Galore This Weekend! (w/ VIDEO)
Sometimes it takes the trailer to a movie to get casual fans really interested. Take some of these superhero movies, for instance. I don’t dork out heavily over Batman or Iron Man movies at all. I don’t count down the days until those movies are coming to theaters, and I…
Intellicast.com: I Live in Houston, Texas. Perhaps You’ve Heard of It? Or Not.
For better or worse, I’ve always been one of those nimrods who get a little bent out of shape whenever they see a list of major cities in America that doesn’t include Houston. This invariably happens on things like morning talk shows where they run a ticker of weather during…
What’s Cooking This Week? Spaghetti Squash Pad Thai & More
I love cooking for my fiancé and me, but most of the time, cooking for two proves to be difficult. If I don’t make a plan, I end up running around in circles at the grocery store and wasting half the ingredient’s I’ve bought (and I hate wasting food). Enter…
Songs I Didn’t Want to Hear at a Casino While Losing Money
Recently, I spent more than a little time at the Harrah’s casino smack in the middle of downtown New Orleans, which was unfortunately the only place besides my hotel room floor where I could get some sort level of sanity away from football. If you have ever been to a…
MFAH Delivers Vibrant Art with “Picasso Black and White”
Throughout his lengthy career, Spanish artist Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) experimented with wildly divergent styles, techniques, subject matter, and mediums. But over the decades, he would continually return to creating works in the most simple – and often striking – hues of black and white. The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston…
Web Site: Fellas, All You Need to Get Laid on Valentine’s is $218!
Attention ladies: if you had sex with a dude last Valentine’s Day, and that dude spent less than $218 on you that day, you sold yourself short. Or so says a highly scientific study by the sugar daddy Web site SeekingArrangement.com, which “found that on average, a man needs to…
Alamo Drafthouse’s Vintage Park Grand Opening Week To Feature Jason Schwartzman
Alamo Drafthouse is opening up its new Vintage Park location with a series of quirky (natch) film selections this week, plus bringing a bit of indie-film royalty into the mix to celebrate one of the best movies filmed in the Houston area. The new seven-screen theater has a total of…
Happy Inventors Day! 5 Musical Inventors to Celebrate
On this day in 1983, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed February 11 to be National Inventor’s Day, and commanded the observation of same by all of us less awesome citizens. The day was chosen because it was the birthday of Thomas Edison, who held more than a thousand different patents, including…
The Perils/Pleasure of Online Ordering
I’m the first person to admit that I am technologically challenged, which is probably why up until last week I had never ordered takeout/delivery online. (Oddly enough, I do use the interwebs for purchasing almost everything else). My aversion to online food ordering stems in part from the fact that…
Twitter War! The Iron Sheik Calls Out Arian Foster!
I’ve mentioned in this space a few times, during the 2011 NFL season I did a weekly show with Texans running back Arian Foster on Yahoo! Sports Radio. In my five years and change in talk radio, those sessions with him were some of the more fun moments I’ve had…
Every Woman Needs an Award Winning Evening Bag (or, If Only Evening Gowns Had Pockets)
Dudes are so lucky. Everything they need fits inside of a folded piece of leather that fits in their pockets. Also–they always have pockets. Not true for the ladies, as evidenced by our ever-present need for a bag. On a weekday it might be a tote, or large purse, so…
Your Ultimate Mardi Gras Guide: Get Fat on Fat Tuesday
First, get geared up with photos from the Mardi Gras celebration in Kemah… …and the one in Galveston…
The Best Concerts In Houston This Week: Imagine Dragons, fun., etc.
Imagine Dragons House of Blues, February 12 You’ve seen the name all over, from Blog A to Blog B, and the haircuts should look mighty familiar. This Las Vegas act has a sound in the same vein as Passion Pit and AWOLNATION, two acts with a veritable stranglehold on the…
Alejandro Escovedo: “Just to Have a Gig Is Pretty Cool”
Earlier this morning, Alejandro Escovedo talked to Rocks Off about his recent albums Real Animal, Street Songs of Love and Big Station, which have put him in the vanguard of mature rock artists. But those albums are in many ways the culmination of a career that began in San Francisco…
Jacoby Jones’ Appearance On Jimmy Kimmel Live Was Jacoby-tastic!! (w/ VIDEO)
Staying up late on Thursday nights in February is nothing new to me, as I’m one of those NBA sickos that will stay up till one in the morning to see what Charles Barkley has to say on TNT’s postgame show. However, yesterday was a little different. Yes, I stayed…
George W. Bush: Soapy, Hot Nude Shower Pics RIGHT HERE!!
Let’s face it — throughout the long presidency of George W. Bush, with all the fake wars, the lack of effort to get Bin Laden, the Gilded Age treatment of the richest one percent and Wall Street, you struggled with one thing: Where were the nude shots? Unfortunately, no paparazzi…
Rodeo Explains Thousands of Ticket Cancellations
The Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo has cancelled several thousand tickets to this month’s rodeo, including 800 to the March 17 George Strait concert that were going as high as $8,100, after they allegedly fell into the hands of ticket brokers. According to a report in the Houston Chronicle, the…
Stowers: The Week in Photos
It’s time again to check out the Houston Press Flickr Pool and see what kinds of art shots our talented photographers have added. We love street art, unique perspectives and beautiful photos of Houston’s creative community. If you think you’ve got a good eye, drop your pictures in the pool…
My Chicken Parmesan Quest Continues at George’s Pastaria
It’s just been a real, chicken parm-y kind of week, guys. First I went bonkers for the Burger King Italian Chicken Sandwich, and then my husband pointed me to George’s Pastaria on South Dairy Ashford, where he promised me that the chicken parmesan was the best he has had since…
Vladimir Putin’s Boyz II Men Sex Plan Is Phenomenal
It seems that Russian president Vladimir Putin has finally figured out what every middle-school boy has known since the ’90’s: if you play Boyz II Men for your date, it all but guarantees that her clothes are comin’ off. In a bid to astronomically increase the Russian birth rate, president…
Three Feet Of Snow? Some Blizzard Tips, And Comparing A Nor’Easter To A Hurricane
New York, Boston and the rest of New England are expected to be pounded today and tomorrow with a massive storm that could dump three feet of snow on residents. Being used to awesomely bad weather here on the Gulf Coast, we have a couple of tips. We also would…
Person Of Interest: The “One Percent”
This week’s episode of POI finally answered the age old (well, 1.5 seasons old anyway) question: how do you protect a person who doesn’t want protection? They’ve skirted the issue thus far because everyone the Machine identifies is in such dire straits they’ve welcomed the assistance of Messrs Reese and…
Top Five Things to Do This Weekend in Houston: John Caparulo, Lily Tomlin, Company E and More
Valentine’s Day is coming up and if you’re not in a relationship right now, you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that at least you’re not married to comedian and frequent Chelsea Lately guest, the ever grumpy, befuddled John Caparulo, our recommendation for Friday. We think Caparulo is plenty funny,…
Upcoming Events: Your Chance to Taste Real Kobe Beef is at Killen’s
It’s not too late to order those Valentine’s Day sweets for your sweetie — and if you order from Fluff Bake Bar, you can make the gift even sweeter: A whopping 40 percent of the proceeds from the bake sale will go to benefit Lucky Dog Rescue. Pastry chef Rebecca…
Alejandro Escovedo: “Getting Older Every Day, But I’m Digging It”
Alejandro Escovedo is one of Texas’ most gifted and versatile singer-songwriters, with the soul and background of a punk rocker, the work ethic of a tradesman, and the undying faith in rock and roll of two of his closest contemporaries — also men of uncommon emotional range and teeth-gritting tenacity…
The Community Season Four Opener Was Awesome
Community fans rejoice! Your show has finally returned, and its Fourth Season opener did not disappoint. For those of you who have not been following along, the NBC show has been replete with drama causing many fans to wonder what the hell is going on here? First or maybe second,…
Night of 1000 Hashtags: #AstrosMovies Makes for A Hilarious String of Tweets
Movie hashtags and mashups are nothing new on Twitter, but on Thursday night (and bleeding over into Friday morning), a series of movie titles mashed up with baseball took over Twitter, at least here in Houston. It would appear that it didn’t actually begin with the home town team (looking…
Immature and Delicious: White Whiskey
Recently a few friends and I started a whiskey tasting club as an excuse to consume expensive liquor an opportunity to educate our palates on the nuances of high-quality blended malt beverages. At our second meeting, our sergeant-at-arms laid a bottle of clear spirits on the table. “Ahoy!,” I said…
Abandon All Hope: Your Guide to the 2013 Grammy Award Underdogs
There are certain truths we all accept about the Grammy awards, including but not limited to: no matter how many times she’s won Taylor Swift will always make that “ohmygod people like me?!?!?!” face; that NARAS president Neil Portnow will show up to make a speech that no one will…
Alone on Valentine’s Day? 7 Ways To Be Happy About It
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and for some this means chocolate and dying roses bought from the Kroger parking lot and matching bra and undies bought from Victoria’s Secret in the hopes of getting some action. To others the big V Day means depression, loneliness, despair and over-eating…
From Ska to Eternity: A Quick History of Fueled By Ramen’s Unlikely Rise to the Top
There is a very good chance that fun. is going to walk away with at least one Grammy come Sunday night. As one of the handful of artists with six nominations to their name; the Brooklyn pop-rockers are odds-on favorites to at least win the smaller categories they’re nominated in…
Top 5 Valentine’s Treats for Kids Other Than Chocolate
Each Valentine’s Day, my parents always got my brother and me heart-shaped boxes filled with a variety of chocolates. Getting sweets on Valentine’s Day makes every kid a happy camper. But, this Valentine’s Day, spice things up with a few homemade treats your kids will absolutely love. Chocolate is great,…
Top Gun Coming Back To Theaters This Weekend In Glorious 3D
This weekend you can finally see the Tony Scott-directed, Tom Cruise-starring Top Gun the way that it was intended by God, in glorious and majestic 3D quasi-IMAX. And three theaters here in Houston are showing it. Starting on Friday you can see the homoerotic Air Force adventure at Edwards Houston…
Hey Astros, You Might Want To Hire Some Radio Broadcasters
The Houston Astros report for spring training next week. The first spring training game is on Saturday, February 23rd. And yet the Astros still do not have a radio broadcast team. Brett Dolan and Dave Raymond were dismissed the day after the 2012 season ended. In early October. And the…
The Texas Lege To Tackle Sex Education Again: Grab Some Popcorn And Get A Good Seat
A Texas legislative session with a slew of freshman representatives brushed with the fervor of the Tea Party movement must surely be like red meat on a platter for groups like the Texas Freedom Network. The Texas Freedom Network has emerged as one of the most vocal opponents of the…
The 2013 Burger Bracket Is Full, But We Still Need Judges
Thanks to you, all four categories for our 2013 Burger Bracket have been filled up. We’ll announce those brackets very soon, but for now we need your help once again. As with prior years, the 2013 Burger Bracket will be narrowed in a March Madness-style breakdown from the Sweet 16…
Way to Suck All the Fun Out of the Grammys, New CBS Dress Code
With CBS still smarting from its bungling of the Super Bowl XLVII blackout coverage and a (supposed) Beyonce halftime nip-slip, earlier this week the network’s Program Practices wing released wardrobe guidelines for Grammy Awards attendees. With the awards show happening this coming Sunday evening, surely tons of artists had to…
CBS’ New Dress Code For The Grammys Takes The Fun Out Of An Otherwise Awful Awards Show
A Grammys dress code. Who will enforce this, and how do I become a Grammys hall monitor? I don’t care if I have to wear a weird, Bobby Brady-style sash on the red carpet — sign me up. I’ll be drunk with power. Also, probably just drunk. With CBS still…
The Jet Loves Houston: Kenny Smith on All-Star Weekend and His Eventual Return to Clutch City
Former Rockets guard and current member of the best pre-game sports show on television, Kenny Smith, is a big fan of Houston, calling his ties here “deep rooted.” “People I consider my best friends in the world are still in Houston,” Smith told Hair Balls. “My godchildren are there.” The…
100 Creatives 2013: Billy D. Washington, Comedian
Comedian Billy D. Washington says that one of his most memorable Houston moments was playing to a crowd of 52,000 in the Astrodome. “A country act was supposed to open for Hank Williams, Jr. and Lynyrd Skynyrd on Friday and I was supposed to open for Gladys Knight and the…
Health Department Roundup: Middle School Bathrooms, An Old-School Burger Joint and More
Sometimes we get the suspicion that the city’s health inspectors phone in certain check-ups. We can’t blame them – it has to be a difficult job, and they’ve got a lot of ground to cover. But we’re looking at the last week’s reports, and despite what this one says, there…
All the Rappers Who Will Be Here All-Star Weekend, Part 2
“Are you going to StripperFest?” “Excuse me, am I going to what?” “StripperFest. It’s a thing at All-Star Weekend.” Rewind: All the Rappers Who Will Be Here All-Star Weekend, Part 1 If I told you a complete stranger with his or her own guide to All-Star Weekend told me such…
J.J. Watt Wedding Cake? Yes, J.J. Watt Wedding Cake!!
I fully realize that putting the words “J.J. Watt Wedding Cake!” in the headline of this post probably sent every female reader between the ages of 18 and 95 within 100 miles of Reliant Stadium into a panic attack. “Wait??? WHA’??? J.J. Watt got MARRIED?!? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!” No, no, no, fear…
Openings & Closings: Time for El Tiempo’s Big Debut and More Crawfish in Chinatown
Are you in this for the long-haul? Good, because this week was chock-full of restaurant news — and most of it happy news. Grab a cup of coffee and settle in for a long post, starting with recaps of a few stories from earlier this week. Ryan Rouse and Brad…
The Best Concerts In Houston This Weekend: Blues Control, Loretta Lynn, The xx, etc.
Blues Control Mango’s, February 8 Blues Control’s Lea Cho and Russ Waterhouse make a tremendous clatter with keyboards, guitars and synths. The Queens, N.Y., duo started grabbing cool-kid support way before last year’s Drag City effort Valley Tangents, which built on their already kaleidoscopic body of work but seemed to…
Was 1995 The Greatest Year In The History Of The Simpsons?
My trusty DVR has afforded me the opportunity to record every episode of The Simpsons that airs in syndication here in Houston. It’s been a pleasure catching back up with the older episodes in the series because I have so many fond memories of seeing them the first time around…
UPDATE: Myron Anderson, Veteran KTSU DJ, Dies at 63
Myron Anderson, a three-decade-plus DJ at Texas Southern University’s radio station, passed away on Thursday. He was 63 years old. “Myron was a local radio legend and 32-year host of KTSU’s popular Listening Back with Myron and Dave,” reads a statement supplied to Rocks Off by Anderson’s publicist, Danye’ Roland…
North Forest Ordered To Close, Be Annexed By HISD
In the latest trip on a seesaw of decisions, the state’s commissioner of education has ordered the chronically underachieving North Forest school district to merge into the Houston school district. Texas Education Agency head Michael Williams said the state will proceed with a previous order to close NFISD and have…
Houston, Prepare For Tax-Return Identity Theft (Even Though It Looks Like We’re Doing Okay)
The Internal Revenue Service announced this afternoon the results of a monthlong crackdown on identity theft, and it look like there’s more than enough of the crime to spread around. Houston, though, isn’t as bad as most cities. The city was one of 17 “high-risk places identified by the IRS”…
An Animal Roars Again: The Eric Burdon Interview, Part 2
In Part 2 of Rocks Off’s interview with Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Eric Burdon, he talks about a surprise call from Bruce Springsteen at last year’s SXSW, how he feels about ever reuniting with The Animals and War, and how he braved a post-hurricane Houston to score some…
Rick Perry Steps Up His War With California (Now That The Guv Is Jerry Brown, Not Arnold Schwarzenegger)
Apparently happy with the headlines he got for a $24,000 radio-ad buy urging California businesses to come to Texas, Texas Governor Rick Perry is stepping up his game. He tweeted the above message, warning Californians (and tipping off reporters) that there’s more merriment in store…
Lightnin’ Hopkins Finally Wins a Grammy
It took the Texas Historical Society long enough to appropriately recognize Houston bluesman Lightnin’ Hopkins, but not as long as the Grammys. As part of the run-up to Sunday night’s 55th annual Grammy Awards, its governing body the Recording Academy announced that Hopkins, who died in 1982, will receive a…
Houston, The City Where Workers Date The Boss
Is your boss hanging around at the moment? (Maybe monitoring non-work-related internet use?) Look at him or her closely. You are looking at a sex machine designed to satisfy the sexual urges of everyone in the cubicle farm he or she supervises. It must be exhausting work, but no one…
All The Luxury, Half the Price: A Romantic Valentine’s Day Dinner for Two
Romance is in the air…and in my kitchen. My fiancé and I are skipping the stuffy Valentine’s Day steakhouse dinner in favor of an at-home meal filled just as much luxury. By using lobster tails in a decadent macaroni and cheese and serving strawberries with a homemade champagne vinaigrette, we’ll…
UPDATED: Last Night: Appleseed Cast at House of Creeps
Appleseed Cast Houston House of Creeps February 6, 2013 UPDATED: Due to a glitch in our publishing software, the second half of the review was not posted originally. The full review has now been restored — ed. We’ll excuse you if you haven’t heard of House of Creeps just yet…
Reviews for the Lazy Gamer: Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time
Game: Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time Platform: PS3/PS Vita Publisher/Developer: Sanzaru Games/Sony Computer Entertainment Genre: Platform/Stealth Describe This Game in Three Words: Steals Your Heart Plot Synopsis: Sly Cooper is a retired gentleman thief living the good life in Paris with his Interpol girlfriend Carmelita when suddenly he gets the…
Stanley Haney, Solicting Underage Sex Online, Stars In A Picture For The Ages
As it so often does, the indispensable Montgomery County Police Reporter has gone the extra mile to illustrate the soulless existential nightmare that is suburban/rural crime. Usually the MCPR accomplishes this feat through simple reportage, letting the sad facts about assaults, abuse of pick-up trucks, meth busts and the heroics…
The Americans: “Don’t You Worry About God?”
The life of a sleeper agent presents a conundrum to those harboring spy fantasies. Most of us grew up equating “spy” with James Bond or Jason Bourne, men of action whose duplicity was tested only so far as their baccarat dealer was willing to believe they worked for a company…
10 Fun Food Festivals Coming Up This Spring
News of Houston’s first big barbecue festival was announced yesterday, and fans have already begun buying up tickets to the appropriately-named Houston Barbecue Festival. Scheduled to take place on March 24, the festival has already booked such popular local smokers as Pizzitola’s Bar-B-Cue, CorkScrew BBQ, Virgie’s Bar-B-Que, Gatlin’s BBQ and…
Grandfather Child’s Lucas Gorham On the Mend After Nasty Spill
“Maaaaan, I’m doing OK,” says Grandfather Child’s Lucas Gorham over the phone. “A lot better than I was a couple of weeks ago, that’s for sure.” On Martin Luther King Day, the popular Houston roots/R&B band’s vocalist/steel guitarist was riding his bicycle to his mom’s house about ten miles away…
Sheriff’s Deputies Looking For Serial Rapist(s)
The Harris County Sheriff’s Office is looking for one or two men suspected of being serial rapists in the northern part of the county Seven women have been raped by a man or men who hooked up with them through online dating services, HCSO says. Three of the attacks were…
Brazos River Bottom Bids Happy Trails After More Than 30 Years
Brazos River Bottom, the Texas-themed LGBT bar on the border of Midtown and Montrose, has announced that it will close at the end of March, with the following message on its Web site: The sad news is official. The BRB will close it’s [sic] doors on Saturday, March 30th. We…
Free for All: “Tre Impasto,” Russell J. Sanders and the Last Day for “HX8”
In “Tre Impasto: Hans de Bruijn, Justin Garcia and Tomas Glass,” Wade Wilson Gallery’s latest exhibition and our pick for Friday, the Montrose area gallery brings together three long-time artists who each have unique painting techniques. “We chose these artists because of the dynamic conversation between them, not necessarily for…
Trailer Park: Fast & Furious 6 (Muffled Syllables)
This past weekend during the Super Bowl, another teaser for Fast & Furious 6 was released to captive audiences. Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and Michelle Rodriguez, the film once again reteams the core group from the first Furious movie for another adventure on four wheels…
8 Ways to Have a Bad-ass Valentine’s Day, No Date Required
I’m not here to tell you how Valentine’s Day is a corporate crock, nor am I here to tell you that the only refuge of a single person on V-Day is burning a box of your past lovers’ memorabilia while sobbing into a pile of old mixtapes. Both of those…
Last Night: Testament and Overkill at House of Blues
Testament, Overkill, Flotsam and Jetsam House of Blues February 6, 2013 When it comes to ’80s thrash metal, there are the Big Four — Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer and Anthrax — and there’s everybody else. For a good while there, it looked as if “everybody else” might not survive the grunge-…
This Houston Team — Unlike the Texans, Rockets, Etc. — Is Number One
For the past few years, a Houston-based team has quietly produced college-basketball talent for prestigious school like the universities of Arizona, Alabama and Oklahoma. The elite squad has traveled all over the country, owning the competition in tournaments in places like Philadelphia. And this year, the team obtained a number-one…
Pop Rocks: Why Stop At Boy Meets World? Five Other Crappy ’90s Sitcoms They Should Reboot
Now that the ’80s have been effectively plundered of all their entertainment-related treasures, it’s time for that most vanilla of decades, the 1990s, to give up the goods. Starting with a sitcom I can honestly say I never watched: After months of speculation surrounding the “Boy Meets World” reboot, “Girl…
Bill Raises Stakes On School-District Accountability
The discussion of accountability and assessment started in earnest Wednesday in Austin as Rep. Jimmie Don Aycock filed House Bill 5, which takes a swing at diploma plans, testing policies and district accountability ratings. To combine all three topics in one bill – which will have to pass or fail…
The Eating… Our Words 100: Bobby Heugel, Owner of Anvil, The Hay Merchant and the OKRA Charity Saloon
Bobby Heugel has probably received more press and started (or taken over operations of) more small food and beverage businesses in the last 12 months than any other Houstonian. He, along with partners Kevin Floyd and Steve Flippo, started Anvil Bar & Refuge in 2009. Today, Bobby also is a…
The Rocks Off 100: Sean Ozz, Wizard of The Abyss
Welcome to the Rocks Off 100, our portrait gallery of the most compelling profiles and personalities in the far-flung Houston music community — a lot more than just musicians, but of course they’re in there too. See the entire Rocks Off 100 at this link. Who? Sean Ozz fronts what…
Zen Beard: Could James Harden Be a Wise Sage? Only This Meme Knows For Sure
James Harden is an All-Star this year for the first time in his career. He also seems to be an affable fellow with a beard that could swallow a small army. The combination of his beard and cool, laid-back demeanor got me to thinking that he could be a prophet…
All the Rappers Who Will Be Here All-Star Weekend, Part 1
Two days ago, a complete stranger calmly approached me at the airport. Her demeanor was kind, she didn’t have any noticeable body odor and gave off a friendly vibe. I smirked before she started the painstaking task of carrying out small talk. “Hey, are you from here?” she asked. My…
Top 5 Foods to Make in the Microwave: What I Learned in College
For the first two years of college I lived in the dorms. As nice as it was to be on campus and not have to worry about battling for a parking space every single day, I did not have the opportunity to cook. Yes, we had a “kitchen” in the…
Painter Georg Baselitz Says “Women Can’t Paint,” Forgot About All the Famous Female Painters
If you are not familiar with artist Georg Baselitz, don’t be too upset with yourself. Baselitz is one of those artists who is famous enough to make a serious living at it but not mainstream enough to be a household name. They won’t be making a biopic about his life,…
Top 10 Wine Lists in Houston
It’s exciting to run across a well-priced favorite on a restaurant’s wine list, or to discover something new as you dig through its pages. But there’s more to making a world-class wine list than just stocking a cellar with Cakebreads and Chardonnays. To spotlight the best wine lists in Houston,…
The 5 Best Onstage Band Pranks
You might think that it’s a little bit early for April Fool’s, but pranks go on between musicians and bands year-round. Given that musicians are an immature, jocular sort, tied inherently to an adolescent dream of being a rock star, it should be no surprise that they get into all…
Michael Galbreth’s Massive, Largely Forgotten Public Art Project “The Human Tour” Lives On
It was one of the most exciting events of 1987. But in the intervening 25 years, it’s been all but forgotten. Until now. This Sunday, Houston artists Carrie Schneider and Alex Tu will embark on “The Human Tour: An Anthropomorphic Route Through The City of Houston,” a 40-some-odd-mile route around…
College Football National Signing Day: Ole Miss Signs This Year’s Annual “WTF” Class
Go back and look at the historical data in the Rivals.com recruiting database, and the top ten classes each season generally include the same cast of university characters — some permutation of USC, Florida, Oklahoma, Texas, Ohio State, Alabama, LSU, Georgia, with a generous smattering of Michigan, Auburn, and Florida…
”Art of Islamic Lands: Selections from the al-Sabah Collection, Kuwait”
A page from a manuscript written in gold, an 85-plus-carat emerald and a jeweled jade court dagger. See these and other rare treasures in the new Museum of Fine Arts, Houston exhibit ”Art of Islamic Lands: Selections from the al-Sabah Collection, Kuwait.” One of the best collections of Islamic art…
Capsule Art Reviews: “Ewan Gibbs: Arlington National Cemetery,” “[Houston Times Eight],” “Kathryn Kelley: “The uncontrollable nature of grief and forgiveness (or lack of),” “Mac Whitney: Sculptures and Paintings,” “Maggie Taylor: No Ordinary Days”
“Ewan Gibbs: Arlington National Cemetery” Ewan Gibbs has turned his distinguishable pixelated drawing style on topics as diverse as the Statue of Liberty, the Chicago Ferris Wheel and hotel facades. Seemingly part-photography, part-drawing, his technique is inspired by grid-like knitting patterns the artist started incorporating into his work two decades…
Capsule Stage Reviews: Don Giovanni, Knock Me a Kiss, The Lion in Winter, Macbeth
Don Giovanni Houston Grand Opera shoots off fireworks in a return of the classically elegant Gören Järvefelt production of Mozart and da Ponte’s masterpiece Don Giovanni (1787). With a cast of young, energetic and beautifully voiced singers who know their way around the stage as well as they do through…
Republicans, Cubans and Idiots
Dear Mexican, The pinche Republicans are making a gigante ruido about their “Hispanic” senators in Congress. Wachale! Lets call a pendejo a pendejo. Please discuss with tu audienca what Mexicans really think about Cubans in these Estados Unidos. El Güero Tejano (no Cubano) As a recent transplant from Miami to…
Eating Our Hearts Out
Check out all 100 dishes in our slideshow. “Houston was more or less my Paris, or such Paris as I had,” novelist Larry McMurtry wrote in a recent love letter to the Bayou City. His essay in the February issue of Texas Monthly found McMurtry waxing nostalgic about the Houston…
Valentine’s Day Dining
If you have been wracking your brain for the perfect Valentine’s Day gift, look no further than your favorite restaurant. Picture it: a table for two, a bottle of wine, your most special someone and a little candlelight to start the fire early — it’s up to you to keep…
Deer Lease Chic at LA Bar
See how those chargrilled oysters and po-boys are made at LA Bar in this week’s slideshow. It took me a few visits to put my finger on exactly what LA Bar — the newest restaurant from the arm of Houston’s vast Mandola family that owns the neighboring Ragin’ Cajun —…
Stand Up Guys
Please, for his own good, somebody clap Dustin Hoffman into a chastity belt. Based on what Al Pacino suffers in Stand Up Guys, and the identical humiliations visited on Robert De Niro in Little Fockers, it seems that Hollywood will not be satisfied until it has speared a hypodermic into…
Side Effects and Collaborations
“I’ve been lucky in that I’ve always worked with writers whose voices are so specific that there really isn’t any way to recalibrate things without them being intimately involved,” says Steven Soderbergh as he swivels in a chair in the happily cluttered New York loft space that doubles as his…
MONSTERS, INC.
Lady Gaga knows what the people want, and she gives it to them. She knows that some people just come for the spectacle, so she brings along a giant gothic castle and a variety of strange props to go with it. She knows people want to hear the hits, so…
On Second Thought
Highlights from Hair Balls CRIME There was so much stupid on display at Quanell X’s January 29 press conference for Carlton Berry, the man originally charged with a shooting at Lone Star College, that it’s hard to tell where to begin. First, the fact that Berry is even seeking an…
Melissa McCarthy Is Not Your Best Friend Anymore
To watch Melissa McCarthy as lovable chef Sookie St. James on seven seasons of the Gilmore Girls was to see an actress perfect the art of playing a sidekick. As best friend of the show’s protagonist, Lorelai Gilmore (Lauren Graham), McCarthy dutifully provided comic relief and a shoulder on which…
Eat, Play, Love
There are two types of people in this world: those who take their partners out to eat on Valentine’s Day and those who wait for the mad crush of romance to end before venturing back out to nice restaurants. This year, that means restaurant dining rooms both the weekend before…
