Pushing the Envelope
Early on overcast mornings, Beth Jacobs bundles up and drives to the West University post office on Weslayan, the most broad-minded one in town. She knows the clerks by name — Shirley, Miss D., Brenda and Juretta — and they know her. Beth used to be embarrassed when they’d call…
Black Is Back
Last year, in a cavernous southwest Houston club, Lewis Black did a solid 20 minutes of material based on his experiences at Party on the Plaza that very afternoon. Unlike many headlining acts, who come up with only 45 minutes of new material a year, Black never makes you sit…
Revenge of The Fanboy
There exists deep within any man who once read comic books and collected them — protected them, actually, with plastic sleeves and cardboard backs and boxes that fought off the yellowing of time — the mythical being known as The Fanboy. A long time ago, The Fanboy pored over every…
Hot Plate
Dreaming in Chocolate: If I could design one dessert to satisfy all of my cravings, it’d look suspiciously like the Choco Coco layer cake ($4.87 per slice, $35 per cake) at Europa Cafe [2536 Nottingham, (713)942-0001]. My dream dessert would combine the stoutness of German chocolate cake with the satiny…
Fighting Austin Powers
Once upon a time, a university was meant to create responsible citizens and expand the breadth of human knowledge. Then somewhere along the line administrators realized there wasn’t much need for English or music or journalism majors and started to place more emphasis on profitable specializations, like computer science, public…
Downbeat
Houston’s jazz scene lost one of its most venerable and visible figures when Ben “Scatman” Turner passed away late last month. The octogenarian was a fixture at area clubs for decades, first as a drummer and later as a patron and singer. His identity in the scene loomed so large…
Homeward Bound
If you missed Trey McIntyre’s latest piece in the Houston Ballet’s spring mixed repertory program, all you can do is hope that it doesn’t take the 30-year-old choreographic associate another four years to find his way home again. Set to a Benjamin Britten piano concerto, each section of his new…
Wide Open Shot
Pop culture is littered with archetypal success stories — Lana Turner turning a producer’s head at a Hollywood malt shop, the Beatles sweating their way into screaming teenage Liverpudlian hearts at the Cavern Club — and now the Groobees have become part of the yarn. The Amarillo pop-folk quartet has…
Class Cops
It can happen at the beginning of any class period in any middle or high school in the Houston Independent School District. The teacher turns to the blackboard, but instead of discussing The Great Gatsby or solving an algebraic equation, the students get a lesson in what it’s like to…
Off the Road Again
Missed shot. Rebound. Slam dunk. Shaq Diesel! (Yawn.) As the TVs beamed the L.A. Lakers’ manhandling of the Indiana Pacers in game one of the NBA championship last week, poor ole Jesse Dayton stood, in the flesh, on stage, and tried to engage the crowd at Sherlock’s Pub on West…
Trial Story
The Hearst Corporation — those friendly folks who bring you the Houston Chronicle and a dozen other dailies — is in the middle of an ugly, ugly court battle in San Francisco. Hearst publishes the San Francisco Examiner but would rather publish the dominant San Francisco Chronicle; the two papers…
Dr. Jekyll, Ms. Hyde
Pouty and pretty, Juliana Hatfield gained a cult following throughout the ’90s with her incisive lyrics and she-rocker presentation. While the past decade has seen her vacillate on recordings between sensitive songwriter and rock spitfire, Hatfield has found an ideal solution to the Jekyll/Hyde problem by doing something usually reserved…
Letters 06-15-2000
CrASS CommentariesWhat would Jesus do today? He would tell all ASS managers, “Thou shalt not steal” [“Pain in the ASS,” by Randall Patterson, June 1]. He would also tell them to use their millions to return all monies taken from the customers. He would also tell them to pray hard…
Big Ass Truck
Big Ass Truck — If by bong hit number 50 nobody has thought of an appropriate band name, any sphincter allusion, it seems, will do. Hence Butt Plug, Ass Ponys, Butthole Surfers, etc. While Big Ass Truck is certainly nowhere near as graphic as the aforementioned, the moniker could cement…
Peter Pan Cuisine
When Tony recognizes my celebrity dining partners, he bounds over to our table and starts pumping their hands. Since I am reviewing anonymously, they discreetly fail to introduce me. I smile and tell Tony what a great restaurant he’s got. When I landed this job, I asked all my friends…
Bible Belt Blues
Eons ago, the church invented theater. The praising of gods, in fact, has always involved a good deal of heart-throbbing music, edge-of-your-seat storytelling and fabulously glittering costumes. Just think about all the hellfire and brimstone raining down from the rafters of Southern Baptist churches every Sunday morning. Those down-home homilies…
Plastic? Fantastic!
For years my family, unlike most suburbanites, who prefer the careful landscaping of their own backyards, has hosted parties in the driveway. The idea is to be close to the action, not safely sequestered from it, even if the action is nothing more than hollering at speeding cars or sizing…
Where Art Thou, Juliet?
When Sergei Prokofiev composed the score for a ballet version of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet in 1935, he didn’t work with a choreographer as is customary. His dramatic music told the story on its own, familiar scene by familiar scene, symphonic movement by symphonic movement. In fact, Prokofiev’s composition is…
Don’t Dump Your Debt on Me
Former mayor Bob Lanier has been a constant supporter of successor Lee P. Brown since playing a major role in his 1997 election win. But Lanier also zealously defends his own record, and he has grown increasing irritated by the Brown administration’s suggestions to blame the city’s current budget shortfall…
Sing the Body Electric
At least since Paleolithic man carved the fecund shape of the Venus of Willendorf from a chunk of limestone 24,000 or so years ago, human beings have been sculpting images of themselves. The frequency and variety of the images have increased throughout history in proportion to man’s growing self-awareness. We…
Booze in a Blender
Sitting in a white plastic beach chair under a thatched grass palapa, watching the palm trees sway in the tropical breeze with this showy frozen margarita in your hand, you could easily believe that the rooftop patio of Cafe Adobe [2111 Westheimer, (713)528-1468] was in Isla Mujeres. (Although the two…
Toons with ‘Tude
It’s the year 3028, and manŠ is an endangered species! (Haven’t we heard that somewhere before, like last month?) This time around, the threat is a little more intimidating than those effeminate, Xenu-worshiping Conehead psychologists in platform boots. The villains in Fox’s new animated spectacular, Titan A.E., are the Drej…
Dream On
“Industrial-strength boredom” is a vicious term to unload on anybody — friend, foe or former actress. Considering the lingering discomfort it inspires, one must be aware of its impact, even around a seemingly invulnerable producer returning to the screen to melt our hearts in yet another variation on the emotional…
In Arms’ Way
Phil Arms is in bad shape as he takes the pulpit of Houston Church on the morning of Sunday, January 9. He shifts his weight back and forth from his right leg to his left, sips from a glass of water and dabs at his face with a white handkerchief…
God Only Knows
The last time anyone admits seeing Danny Fry alive was on September 30, 1995, when he sat mutely, seemingly ill or in shock, on the veranda of the Austin apartment of his old buddy, ex-con David Waters. “He was sitting out there and he looked so… just really horror-stricken, like…
Mind Games
Houston artist Kaneem Smith couldn’t hide her elation. The graduate art student at Syracuse University believed her years of work and study were finally paying off. Smith had submitted her plans for a sculpture to a special review committee. The result: She was to be one of eight emerging artists…