Why Yes, There Will Be a 4th of July DWI Crackdown for Your Enjoyment (And Safety)
You knew it was coming: Tomorrow morning TxDOT, DPS and MADD will hold a press conference announcing a big “No Refusal” crackdown surrounding the 4th of July. This year’s campaign features Sean Carter, who suffered massive brain damage as a passenger in a car driven by someone over the legal…
Constable Edward Shadbolt: Shoots Gun Out of Suicidal Man’s Hand, Just Like in the Movies
This is the kind of stuff that’s only supposed to happen in movies: A desperate man trying for a suicide-by-cop, one cool-headed, dead-eyed rifleman, one shot and the man’s gun is blown out of his hand, only slightly injuring him — That’s how it always goes, in Hollywood at least,…
VIDEO: Step Up Revolution Flash Mob Invades Market Square Park
The temps were in the high ’90s but who cared? A flash mob of dancers wearing black T-shirts and hats broke out in Market Square at high noon today — there to promote a movie. They came to Houston to promote their movie Step Up Revolution. Actor/dancer Misha Gabriel Hamilton…
Comment of the Day: Why Man Who Ate Dog Brings Talk of Zombies
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous…
100 Favorite Dishes 2012: No. 67, Caldo de Mariscos at Taqueria Arandas
This year leading up to our annual Best of Houston® issue, we’re counting down our 100 favorite dishes in Houston. This list comprises our favorite dishes from the last year, dishes that are essential to Houston’s cultural landscape and/or dishes that any visitor (or resident) should try at least once…
Jenny Johnson: Your Local Friendly and Filthy Twitter Superstar & Our Web Awards Party
Be sure to come out to the second annual Houston Web Awards at House of Dereon Media Center (2204 Crawford St.) on Thursday, June 28, from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Jenny Johnson will be there along with Bun B and the Houston Texans’ own Connor Barwin. Snag your tickets…
Connor’s Corner: Connor Barwin’s Favorite Places to Hang in Houston
To say that Houston Texans linebacker Connor Barwin has high hopes for the upcoming season is an understatement. His eyes light up when he talks about the talent and the hope for the 2012 season. Barwin is featured in this week’s cover story on the Houston Web Awards, and lately…
Reality Bites: Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp
There are a million reality shows on the naked television. We’re going to watch them all, one at a time. Members of both political parties are fond of trumpeting the virtues of the American Dream, that mythic end stage when a person is awarded for years of hard work and…
Underbelly’s Underpriced Wine List Gives Us More Reasons to Love It
Because there is so very much to discuss when it comes to Underbelly, the subject of this week’s cafe review, I found myself having to trim back significantly in certain areas of the review in order to get a broader point across (which, TL;DR, is that Underbelly is where it’s…
Titisha Denise Williams, 22, Bayou Body Count No. 89
A woman was killed and a man critically injured in what appears to be a robbery attempt on the north side, Houston police say. Titisha Denise Williams, 22, and Damon McClain, 31, were sitting in a parked car in front of an apartment complex in the 7300 block of Curry…
Top 5 Diet Malt Beverages
I recognize there’s a certain segment of the population that considers malt beverages the lowest form of booze and would sooner drink nail polish remover than a Bacardi Breezer. But for some of us, malt beverages were the training wheels of our drinking careers. As young, underage pups, we built…
BooTown Presents “River Bottom Rules”: A Strange Story of Childhood
When you think about the rules you learned as a kid, you probably remember that sharing is caring and if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it. But, the children of Highlands, Texas, learn to follow three completely different rules: Never love a pet, always count on…
Dave Wrangler, Part 2: “I Still Do Some Sampling”
Earlier this morning, Houston DJ Dave Wrangler was kind enough to explain to Rocks Off the difference between a mashup and a remix, as well as his procedure in constructing Frankenstein-like songs such as “”Wanna Be a Big Poppa,” which combines the efforts of Lil Troy and Notorious B.I.G. Into…
NBA Draft Preview Via Prop Bets
I know some people are not all that fond of mock drafts. Me, I like mock drafts. In the same vein of enjoying takeout because I hate to cook, I like reading mock drafts, I just don’t like constructing them myself. But somehow, some way I need to share some…
Lawndale’s “The Big Show”: Now or Never
If you’re going to do it, do it now. Today and Thursday, Lawndale Art Center will be accepting submissions for “The Big Show,” which is the space’s annual open-call exhibition. This year’s version will be juried by Marco Antonini, gallery director of NURTUREart in Brooklyn…
The Top 5 Wines for Summer
One of the things I love the most about summers in Texas is pool parties. When the heat is on, we tend to congregate with our friends around the pool, the grill and our favorite wines. There’s no better time — in my experience — to break out all those…
Dave Wrangler: Web Awards DJ Spills a Few Trade Secrets
Recently Toronto producer/DJ Deadmau5 rode the massive surge in electronic dance music’s popularity all the way to the cover of the current Rolling Stone. Wearing a giant mouse head all the time doesn’t hurt, but in the story he set tongues wagging even further by criticizing many of his fellow…
More Charges Expected in Candice Schwager DWI Assault Case
An additional charge is expected in the intoxication assault case involving erratic blogger Candice Schwager, who police say drove her Mercedes SUV into a motorcycle June 16, injuring two people. The motorcycle’s passenger, Shannon Stenseth, was treated for fractured ribs and released, but the bike’s driver, Victor Martinez, is still…
Flamenco and Spanish Dance Enthusiasts Find Joy in New Dance Company
On June 24, 2012, Timo Lozano’s Houston Spanish Dance Company made its debut at the Evelyn Rubenstein Jewish Community Center’s Kaplan Theatre with the evening Spain in the Air Tonight. Lozano is a Spanish dance luminary, having performed with the Jose Greco Dance Company and been the first American to…
Slow Dough Bakery’s Pretzel Roll (at Local Foods)
I’ve liked pretty much everything I’ve tried at Local Foods (including the egg salad, lox and cream cheese bagel, and Gulf shrimp and blue crab sandwich), but recently I’ve been pretty obsessed with the pretzel rolls, to the extent that I modify every sandwich order so it’s served on one…
James Rollins Lets Loose the Dog of War in Blood Line
Thrillers are a tough sale these days. Commando adventures into hostile territory exposing vast conspiracies are more common than vampires and zombies combined, to judge by the bargain bin at your local Barnes & Noble. Nonetheless, James Rollins does something that I never would’ve given anyone short odds on: He…
Breakfast Double-Header at McDonald’s: Sausage Burrito and Blueberry Banana Nut Oatmeal
I think I’ve mentioned before that I like to eat fast food for breakfast more than any other meal, mostly because it gives me at least an outside chance of burning off the damage at the gym. Breakfast is also my favorite meal — yes, sometimes I eat two –…
Top 5 Most Anticipated Electric Forest Artists
Tomorrow I set off to another music festival, although this time it’s the farthest north I’ve ever been. Michigan. Yeah, I know, I need to travel more. Rothbury, Michigan will host Electric Forest from June 28 to July 1. The festival has local philanthropic initiatives this year such as a…
Glendon Bruening: Farm Worker Shoots Wad at Man Who Sexted His Wife
Who knew the wheat fields of the Panhandle were so rife with lust and passion? Call this story 50 Sheaves of Wheat. Per Connectamarillo.com, Ochiltree County sheriff Terry Bouchard said that 61-year-old Glendon Bruening was enraged when he found out that a fellow reaper had been texting lewd images to…
Will HISD Thumb Its Nose at Rick Perry & Go for the Race to the Top?
The deadline is looming for the next round of the Race to the Top, a program federal education department officials all but admit was drafted for Houston Independent School District after Texas refused to compete for federal grants. When Education Secretary Arne Duncan hinted such a district-based Race to the…
The 5 Most Common Risotto Mistakes
Risotto is one of the most difficult dishes to master. The first attempt is not perfect, unless you’re Gordon Ramsay, of course, but these five common mistakes people make while cooking a risotto dish may help you become a master, or at least not screw up one completely. 5. Texture…
Alibi Rankz: 6 Songs to Say “I’m Sorry”
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place — lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good — so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to…
Are the Disney Princesses Feminists?
Pixar’s new animated movie Brave opened this past weekend, and it kicked butt. It brought in over $66 million in the United States, and these dollars don’t include the mountains of Brave-related paraphernalia. The movie focuses on the dogmatic Scottish princess Merida and her disdain for doing things her parents…
Kenneth Carnley: Allegedly Beats Disabled Woman Who Offered Him Dinner After Mowing His Lawn
“People call me a lot of things love, but they’ll never accuse me of bein’ a mothafuckin’ gentleman.” — Willie D. of the Geto Boys, 1991 Twenty-one years after Willie D. rapped those lines, and elaborated on that anti-chivalric theme at great length, one East Texas man seems to have…
Top 5 Fourth of July Treats
It’s that time of year again. It’s the season for an almost reckless amount of patriotism, a generous portion of American pride and a heaping scoop of pure, unadulterated revelry in the name of the Greatest Country on Earth: ‘merica. Fourth of July has been and will always be one…
Rest of the Best: Houston’s Top 6 Hidden Bars
Actually, for our purposes, the term “hidden” might be a bit incorrect, at least technically. Perhaps more appropriate would be “undiscovered” or, better still, “underappreciated.” Either way, Houston has A TON of great bars that are not immediately known. Here are the best six, ranging from East Downtown neighborhood hangouts…
100 Creatives 2012: Mary Lampe, Executive Director of Southwest Alternate Media Project (SWAMP)
Mary Lampe knows what it takes to make a film. Prior to her current position as executive director of SWAMP (Southwest Alternate Media Project), Lampe had made more than 30 short film projects while working at an art museum. Making a film requires passion, dedication, fiscal sponsorship and patience, and…
Mollie Olgin & Mary Chapa: Teen Lesbian Couple Shot, Left to Die in Woods (UPDATED) (UPDATED AGAIN)
On Saturday morning in Portland, Texas, hikers stumbled across the bodies of two girls in tall grass: 19-year-old Mollie Olgin and 18-year-old Mary Chapa, both shot in the head. Chapa was rushed to the hospital, where she’s currently in serious but stable condition. Her girlfriend, Mollie, was pronounced dead on scene. No…
This Week in Food Blogs: Wasted Water and the Battlesong of Christie Rafanan
Houston Chronicle: If you’re wondering whether or not the Eatsie Boys will have beer from their own 8th Wonder Brewery when their Montrose cafe opens later this year, wonder no more: The answer is a firm no, thanks to bizarre and outdated TABC laws. Ronnie Crocker tackles the messy task…
Himbos: Male Strippers at the Movies
This week sees the premiere of Steven Soderbergh’s latest effort, Magic Mike, starring Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey and Olivia Munn. The male stripper flick has been getting great buzz from early reviews. Some are comparing it to Boogie Nights in the way it frankly shows workers in the skin industry…
Dying Fetus: “We Are Dead Serious”
It’s a well-known fact that most band names are essentially gobbledygook, but here at Rocks Off we’re trying hard to find meaning in the oddest monikers. The following report was arrived at the Houston Press office by mail earlier this week. The box contained an audio recording on cassette wrapped…
The 8 Most Bro-Tastic Bands of All Time
“Hipster.” The word is older than you think: it pops up in an old Seinfeld episode where Jerry refers to Kramer as a “hipster doofus.” It even predates that by many years. A few years ago, it was convenient shorthand to refer to someone who overcompensates, who tries too hard…
whenparentstext.com and Why Did the Cat Find Condoms in Her Laundry and Carry Them to Her Mother?
The website whenparentstext.com launched nearly two years ago, but somehow it hasn’t lost its charming awkwardness. The site’s even spawned a full-fledged book and a line of branded products from bags to T-shirts. According to the site, its purpose is to celebrate the trials and errors of parents using their…
Jacob Colby Garvin Arrested in Connection with Fire at Dolce Vita
Last month we reported that Dolce Vita was damaged by a fire that started early in the morning May 5 outside of the restaurant, in its Dumpster, before moving inside. Now KHOU is reporting that on June 13, the Houston Arson Bureau arrested 25-year-old Jacob Colby Garvin for allegedly setting…
Derrick Williams: Man Who Allegedly Shot Man in Wheelchair Turns Himself in
A man who sheriff’s deputies say shot a man in a wheelchair from his car has turned himself in, the Harris County Sheriff’s Office says. The HCSO says Derrick Williams, 24, stopped his Buick Roadmaster in the 400 block of Cypress Avenue Friday in far northwest Harris County and began…
Jordan Lyles’s Brother Has a Problem with the Astros’ Bats (and Is Not Afraid to Tweet About It)
Social media is a big deal to professional sports teams these days. It can do a lot of good in terms of enhancing a team’s brand, but there are certain pitfalls with social media as well. Teams and leagues go to painstaking efforts in 2012 to educate their players on…
Comment of the Day: It Was Those Crafty Zionists Who Kept Rick Perry Down!
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous…
100 Favorite Dishes 2012: No. 68, Ceviche at Sirena Seafood
This year leading up to our annual Best of Houston® issue, we’re counting down our 100 favorite dishes in Houston. This list comprises our favorite dishes from the last year, dishes that are essential to Houston’s cultural landscape and/or dishes that any visitor (or resident) should try at least once…
Upcoming: Andrew Bird, Jandek, Hayes Carll, Café Tacvba, Metric, Rufus Wainwright, Etc.
Andrew Bird: Fri., Oct. 12, 8:30 p.m., $32-$42. House of Blues, 1204 Caroline, Houston. BettySoo: Thu., Aug. 16, 7:30 p.m., $20/$22. McGonigel’s Mucky Duck, 2425 Norfolk, Houston. Black Congress, Buildings, Omotai: Fri., July 27, 9 p.m., $6. Mango’s, 403 Westheimer Road, Houston. The Blaggards, The Dragliners, The Clarks: Sat., July…
Happily Forced To Wipe My Brow: Curry Crawl Houston
See more fiery photos from the Curry Crawl in our slideshow. It’s summertime, Houston. And it ain’t just the 98 degree heat that’s sizzling hot. This past Sunday, ten local chefs set patrons on fire at the first annual Curry Crawl. Hosted by Straits Restaurant at CityCentre and benefiting PULSE,…
DVDs & Blu-rays: The Artist and The Hedgehog
The Artist stars Jean Dujardin, Penelope Ann Miller and John Goodman; Michel Hazanavicius writes, directs and co-edits. Films at the turn of the 20th century were silent, that is, accompanied by plenty of live music but without spoken dialogue. The 2011 Academy Award winner for Best Picture The Artist, one…
Michael Daniel: Waco Freak of Nature Charged With Eating Family Dog Alive
Photo Courtesy of Waco Police DepartmentThis dude’s at the center of a real man-bites-dog story…Mary, mother of mother-effing God: A Waco man has been charged with eating his family’s dog while it was still alive! Michael Daniel, 22, was arrested June 14 after he allegedly assaulted people in his home,…
Battleship Texas on Life Support
The USS Texas is in depressingly bad shape right now. Earlier this month, it sprung a two-inch leak that gushed water for about two weeks before workers were able to repair it. The water seeped into parts of the ship that contained oil, so management had to call in a…
Feast Your Eyes on This Week’s Roundup of Delicious Deals Around Houston
Today’s Houston Press Voice Daily Deal gets you half-off savings ($10 for $20) on Mexican food at Bocados Restaurant. Innovative Mexican fare, plus your traditional favorites — including Texas Monthly Magazine’s “The Best Tacos al Carbon You Must Eat Before You Die” — populate the menu at Bocados. Pair customer…
The 2012 Houston Press Music Award Nominees
Already? Indeed. It’s only been seven months and change since the 2011 Houston Press Music Awards, but that was enough time for more than 7,000 local music fans to nominate their favorites in some 40 categories, a figure well north of 200 talented Houston artists. So let’s get to it…
Lawndale Announces 2012-13 Resident Artists
This year’s winners of Lawndale Art Center’s prestigious artist studio program include a noise musician, a recipient of Houston Arts Alliance’s Liz Alexander Visual Arts Award and a Houston standby who recently showed at the Texas Contemporary Art Fair. The lucky winners will have 24-hour access to his or her…
50 Rad Things Now on the Sig’s Lagoon Walls
Within the past month, the walls of Sig’s Lagoon have been transformed into a sprawling pop-culture collage of posters, photos, newspaper clippings, magazine covers, picture discs and cardboard cutouts courtesy of former Sundance Records owner Bobby Barnard. Since the longtime San Marcos music store closed in April, Barnard has been…
Lindsay Lohan, a Pistol and Photographer Terry Richardson
Today on photographer Terry Richardson’s Tumblr page, he’s showing us pictures of a crying and immaculately disheveled Lindsay Lohan playing with an unloaded pistol. This is a departure from his usual “Wanna see Kate Upton’s nipples? Sorry, not today!” pictures that stymie the world on a regular basis. These pictures,…
Amber Schmidt: Second Female Metroplex Child Porn Fan This Month
WTF is in the water in DFW these days? Three weeks ago we brought you the story of Erika Perdue, the wealthy attorney’s wife who allegedly confessed to amassing, over a period of many years, a huge hoard of kiddy porn while her husband was off at work. And now…
Where Are We Drinking? Clue: Where the Cantaloupe Roam
The beverage you see below in a Ball jar is both dessert and drink: It’s a take on the licuado, a Mexican hot-weather specialty in which fruit juice is blended with milk and ice. It’s like a smoothie, but looser and rarely featuring whole fruit. In the case of this…
Carly Rae Jepsen: Her ’90s POV in “Call Me Maybe”
I was maybe a little too amused the other day to learn that Carly Rae Jepsen is four days older than me. The Justin Bieber protégée, whose breakout hit is so ridiculous that it reminds me of a Robin Sparkles song, is 20 freaking 6. Look, I don’t fault the…
Last Night: Coldplay at Toyota Center
Coldplay Toyota Center June 25, 2012 At the risk of obliterating the last remnants of my punk-rock cred, I guess I never really understood all the Coldplay hate. Chris Martin’s Ernest Lee Sincere routine puts a lot of people off, sure, and some (like my neighbor) bailed on them when…
Know Your Local Media: KUHF’s Paul Pendergraft on Engines of Our Ingenuity, Talking Pigs and Steely Dan
If you pay attention to local radio, you know Paul Pendergraft, but despite his receiving numerous accolades including an Edward R. Murrow award and appearing virtually every day on the radio in Houston for over 20 years, you might miss him. Pendergraft is an affable, soft-voiced senior producer for KUHF,…
What’s Cooking on Pinterest? Frozen Greek Yogurt Bananas
My favorite ice cream treat at Disney World is the frozen chocolate banana. I’ve always loved the combination of chocolate and banana, and I love it even more when it’s coated with crushed pecans, almonds, cashews…pretty much any kind of nut. This week on Pinterest I found a recipe for…
5 British Sitcoms That Shouldn’t Be Remade in the United States
It’s often been said that “if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.” However, sometimes Hollywood needs a little creativity when coming up with ideas for shows. Therefore, it seeks inspiration from across the Atlantic — the United Kingdom — and, sometimes, in Australia. (The U.S. remake of Kath and Kim…
A Child Actor Holds the Stage Like a Veteran in Cast Theatrical Company’s The Dark at the Top of the Stairs
The setup: In Cast Theatrical Company’s The Dark at the Top of the Stairs, a small-town family deals with the changing world of the 1920s, showcasing playwright William Inge’s talent for authentic characterizations and his abiding interest in family dynamics. The execution: In a small town near Oklahoma City, Cora…
A New York-Style Slice at Romano’s Pizza
I’ll admit I was scared when my fiancé and I first decided to make the move to Houston. A born and raised Jersey girl (with a few stints overseas — I’m not totally sheltered), I’d been living in Hoboken and working in the Big Apple right out of my four…
Me Gustan Los Estudiantes: The Music of “Yo Soy 132”
Mexican musicians and artists have helped lead the “Yo Soy 132” movement into the final week before the July 1 presidential election, and the protestors show no sign of stopping even if the frontrunner they’re fighting against is elected. Young Mexican voters began the “Yo Soy 132” movement in May…
Adrian Avalos: Feline Yowls Foil Alleged Attempt at Deed Most Foul
An alleged Carancahua Drive cat burglar was foiled by the meowing cries of a coterie of Corpus Christi kitty cats, police there said. According to a CCPD press release, a woman was washing dishes around midnight Friday when she heard her cats “going crazy” behind her house. When she looked…
Pop Rocks: Jenny McCarthy in Playboy? Jessica Simpson on Twitter? Our Cup(s) Runneth Over
Yesterday was quite an occasion for fans of bodacious blonds. First, there was the news that Jenny McCarthy, Playboy’s Playmate of the Year for 1994, would be appearing on the cover a sixth time: The 39-year-old told People magazine that this particular photo shoot was particularly special because of the…
Biggest Loser v 6.0 — Tattooed Yankee Fan Carlos Sturgus
My view on tattoos is well documented in this space. I don’t understand them, but I don’t begrudge people who decide to get them. Me, I tend to have a more big-picture view on what gets permanently etched onto my skin; in short, I’d feel stupid at age 70 (assuming…
Peloton: Seeing the Scene Through Mix-Matched Eyes
Normally if you came up to me and said, “Hey Jef, how would you like to watch a music video from a local band you’ve never heard of shot from a single angle in a shitty garage interspersed with rapid images of everyday life like some first year film student…
Top 5 Sodas That Aren’t Coke or Pepsi
“No Coke…Pepsi!” Belushi’s classic SNL skit is actually an homage to The Billy Goat Tavern, a dingy burger place in Chicago where you will be yelled at for your order, where they really do only serve Pepsi, and there are no fries, only chips. I’ve checked the place out and…
The 5 Most Tense Decisions to Be Made in a Heat Wave
Summer is here in full force, with record days of triple-digit temperatures sapping your energy and baking your hide. Hot temperatures bring with them a series of tense decisions that must be made, decisions where if you guess wrong, the circumstances can be dire. (Note: These do not include the…
The Case Against Change: Five Acts Whose Sound Evolved for the Worse
If you’re one of the many Muse fans around the world or you checked out Nathan’s excellent post last week, then you’ve probably seen the teaser the band put out for their new album, The 2nd Law. To say it’s been controversial with a certain segment of their fanbase is…
Peter Frampton and Boone’s Farm: What Was Your First Drink?
Last week, our intern Molly Dunn wrote about her experience ordering her first adult beverage upon turning 21. In honor of National Dry Martini Day (yes, that’s a thing; they’re all things now), Dunn bravely ordered a serious drinker’s drink. And, as you’d expect, promptly spit the foul thing out…
Henri Bendel at the Galleria Full of Fun, Flirty Treasures
There is an awful lot to love at the new Henri Bendel store in the Galleria. Beautiful bags line the walls on shelves that hold everything from tote bags to sleek evening clutches while tables hold all manner of sparkly jewels for ears, necks, fingers and wrists. A small perfume…
Phone Yawns: The Irresistible Contagion Spread By Just One Person Checking Their Cell
A few weeks back I told you about Phantom Cell Phone Vibration Syndrome, the stupefying first-world problem that us social media addicts suffer from, in which our thighs vibrate where phones usually reside in our pockets. Plenty of friends and commenters chimed in with their stories of this torrid phenomenon…
Rap Round Table: Wu-Tang vs. N.W.A. vs. A Tribe Called Quest
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week’s Panel: Mic Skills, E.S.G., Chingo Bling, D-Risha, Kiotti, Mac, Yung Redd, Damien Randle, Yung Truth, Fat Tony Not Invited: Whoever gave Are We There…
Ask Not for Whom the Hot-Dog-and-Frito-Stuffed Burrito Tolls
…it tolls for thee, fair reader. For the low, low sum of $5.95, you can consume what is — by far — the most over-the-top concoction I’ve seen come out of a Houston restaurant outside of Rodeo season. And that’s not meant in the pejorative. I’m fairly in awe of…
Kids and Video Games: Beneficial or Mind-Sucking Babysitter?
I have been a gamer my whole life, having first grasped the stick of an Atari 2600 as a toddler and declared Nintendo to be the one true god in 1985. If I were to add up all the hours I’ve spent battling pixilated evil, it would be a very…
Pretty Lights Return To Houston September 23
Thousands upon thousands of you loved them at Free Press Summer Fest, and now Pretty Lights are coming back to Houston and the Bayou Music Center on September 23. Lights architect Derek Vincent Smith’s set at FPSF was one of the big favorites of that weekend. Can you believe that…
Beach Boys Not Coming To Nutty Jerry’s After All
Last week I told you about an upcoming Beach Boys date out in Winnie at Nutty Jerry’s. The show sparked my interest since I was still on a B-Boys high from their show in the Woodlands earlier this month, and I was happy that the Houston-area was getting another go-round…
Rachel Bradshaw: HS Student Sent to Alternative HS with Her Alleged Rapist Gets Policy Changed
A Henderson High student who went public to fight the district’s placing her in alternative school with her alleged rapist says she’s happy the policy has been changed. Rachel Bradshaw, 19, eventually graduated from another district after the March 2010 incident. Bradshaw told authorities she had been raped, but, she…
Justin Summers: Mover Accused of Upskirting, Touching Customer’s 5-Year-Old Girl
A mover has been charged with improperly touching and photographing the five-year-old daughter of a customer while he was working in her house, court records say. Justin Modesto Summers, 21, has been charged with indecency to a child and promotion of child pornography. Court documents say that when he was…
100 Favorite Dishes 2012: No. 69, Oyster Po-Boy and Gumbo at Goode Co. Seafood
This year leading up to our annual Best of Houston® issue, we’re counting down our 100 favorite dishes in Houston. This list comprises our favorite dishes from the last year, dishes that are essential to Houston’s cultural landscape and/or dishes that any visitor (or resident) should try at least once…
Skyler Hawk Clark, 20, Bayou Body Count No. 88
A Sinton man initially thought to have died in a traffic accident instead was killed by a gunshot wound to the head, Houston police say. Skyler Hawk Clark, 20, was found unresponsive in a pickup near 100 West Rittenhouse about 1:15 a.m. June 16, HPD says. “The scene was originally…
Anne Frank: A Playlist for a Young Girl
It was on this day in 1947 that the world first saw the publication of one of the most influential books in history, the Diary of Anne Frank. Frank and her Jewish family hid for two years in the attic of a family friend’s house during the Nazi regime before…
Connor Barwin Goes to His First Rugby Match
Further proof that Connor Barwin is the coolest Texan when it comes to living the Houston life: He headed to BBVA Compass Stadium from his downtown apartment to catch the USA Rugby team against Italy. Despite his cheering them on, the USA lost, although the large crowd was raucous in…
The Best Wine in Texas? La Cruz de Comal Pétard Blanc Tasting Notes
“Pétard Blanc,” writes La Cruz de Comal owner Lewis Dickson on his winery’s Web site, “is a proprietary name and means ‘white firecracker’ in French. We call it that because of the hallmark natural acidity this wine always has and thus, its explosiveness on the palate.” If you read our…
Friday Night: El-P & Killer Mike at Warehouse Live
El-P, Killer Mike Warehouse Live June 22, 2012 A small but lively crowd packed into the studio at Warehouse Live on Friday night for performances by two polarly opposite yet complementary artists, who together have created two of the most adventurous and innovative rap productions to be released this year…
French Electro Greats Justice Hitting Houston October 28
My prayers from 2007 have been answered. French electronic duo Justice is finally hitting Houston on October 28 at the House Of Blues. The pair, who just released Audio, Video, Disco. last fall, have never been to Houston, though every hipster bar in town played and still plays the hell…
The True Winners of Pride Parade 2012
Once again, Houston’s pride parade beat the heat and parking hassles and became an entertaining event. Crowd estimates aren’t generally close to accurate, but the accepted figure for Saturday night was about 150,000. The Montrose was alive with floats, supporters, protesters, reunions and politicians. There were mostly winners in the…
Falling Skies: “He Had No Sense of Direction.”
Growing up in the ’80s, immersed in doomsday entertainment like The Day After, The Road Warrior and, uh, Ghostbusters, I naturally spent an inordinate amount of time imagining what I’d do if forced to eke out an existence in the post-apocalypse. Would I roam the wasteland like Max Rockatansky? Get…
Sex and the Radio: A Weekend With 97.9 The Box
For those who may not know, being a blogger and writer also means you sort of have to support yourself with a 9-5. Some chose teaching, others chose busting their ass at a prospective company. Somehow I chose to be a town-car driver. An entrepreneur, a goddamn transporter of people…
How To: Simple, Versatile Focaccia Bread
Bread is definitely my favorite thing to make. I love everything about it, from proofing the yeast, to kneading the dough into submission, to the smell of baking bread wafting through the house. And, of course, I love to eat bread. I come from a long line of “dunkers” –…
Kendrick C. Simpson, 38, Bayou Body Count No. 87
A man was killed in his westside apartment by two men who broke in and began firing, Houston police say. Kendrick C. Simpson, 38, was with his roommate in their apartment in the 9900 block of Richmond about 4 a.m. Saturday when the incident occurred. “Two unknown black male suspects…
Where Are We Eating? Clue: Sort of Like Saarland
Although the restaurant in question this week is French — and a fine one at that — the dish we enjoyed as one of its nightly specials last week was almost downright Germanic: cardamom-brined pork tenderloin served with spiced apples and a slice of pert potato pie. Just to keep…
Take in Some Theater When You Hit the Road This Summer — You Might Discover the Next Arthur Miller
I’ll never forget a Festival of Theatre of the Absurd at New York’s Cherry Lane Theatre, where I caught unexpectedly in 1961 the world premiere of Samuel Beckett’s Happy Days, with Ruth White. I also will always remember my happy attendance at Williamstown’s The Chekhov Cycle in 2003, with five…
Last Night: One Direction at The Woodlands
One Direction Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion June 24, 2012 Ahh! OMG… Eek! I love you guys! Now repeat that a million times and it will somewhat sum up Sunday night’s show. Along with my little sister, I arrived to the sold-out show in astonishment. I did not expect to witness…
Tropical Storm Debby Apparently Wants to Do Florida
We know, we know, but that joke is never going to get old. As we discussed last week, that disturbed area of weather in the southern Gulf of Mexico has done spun itself up into a tropical storm. The National Weather Service designated Tropical Storm Debby on Saturday afternoon and…
Friday Night: Garland Jeffreys at the Continental Club
Garland Jeffreys Continental Club June 22, 2012 Oh, Houston, what were you thinking? After Rocks Off has touted your attributes, your beauty, your understated sense of cool to many a foreigner, why would you not show up for Garland Jeffreys? Most of you were probably at home resting up for…
The Sweet Sounds of Mariachi High
Mariachi High was directed by Ilana Trachtman. Documentary filmmaker Ilana Trachtman became a sort of high school mariachi groupie during the seven years that she spent planning and filming Mariachi High. The film follows Mariachi Halcon, a group of students at Zapata High School, from a small Texas border town,…
What’s Cooking This Week? We’re On the Grill with Fish in Foil, Spice-Rubbed Chops & More
I love homemade meals with my fiancé, but most of the time, cooking for two proves to be difficult. If I don’t have a game plan, I end up running around in circles at the grocery store and wasting half the ingredients I’ve bought (and I HATE wasting food). Enter…
Houston’s Tommy Tune Kids Compete in NYC Today — Breaking a Leg Is Not an Option
Caitlin Finne has taken singing lessons since she was ten years old. Today, the 18-year-old will be using all that training and more as she performs on Broadway at the Minskoff Theatre in the annual Jimmy Award competition that this year strove to bring the 60 best musical theater kids…
Friday Night: Linus Pauling Quartet at Fitzgerald’s
Linus Pauling Quartet, Modfag, From Beyond, Hearts of Animals Fitzgerald’s June 22, 2012 Local long-running psych-rockers Linus Pauling Quartet have got a new album for us to inhale, and on Friday night, the city took its first rip. The performance was the first of three pre-release shows across the state…
There’s a Bandsaw, Drill Press and Rotovape. Where Am I? The Kitchen, of Course
Read our reviews of volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, volume 4, and volume 5 of The Modernist Cuisine cookbook series. The Modernist Cuisine cookbook series changed the face of culinary writing, winning many deserved awards and making a lot of money with its $600 price tag. The six volumes…
Comment of the Day: Talking with the Victims of Candace Schwager’s DWI Crash
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous…
Roger Clemens, Steroids and the Baseball Morality Police
There are still a lot of people upset about last week’s Roger Clemens verdict. Sure, most of the people appear to be sportswriters and not actual taxpaying citizens, but that’s beside the point. Sportswriter Ken Rosenthal and his baseball-reporting pals see the whole thing as a travesty of justice that…
The Straight Guys: “Everyone On Set Has to Be Nude”
On Friday I showed you Ulysses S. Grant: All Star Gigolo, a faux trailer made by local comedy and video collective The Straight Guys, biting off the presidents-as-things-that-you-never-thought-about-them-being genre. This past weekend, the new Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter grossed a little over $16.5 million, making it a modest hit, and…
Where the Chefs Eat: Chris Shepherd, Ryan Pera, Antoine Ware
Since 2010, the Greater Houston Convention & Visitors Bureau (GHCVB) has been conducting “Where the Chefs Eat” Houston Culinary Tours, in which chefs take a group of people to visit secret gems centered around a theme. Past tours have included world barbecue, Korean/Japanese food, Mediterranean food and more. One of…
Last Night: Van Halen and Kool & the Gang at Toyota Center
Van Halen, Kool & the Gang Toyota Center June 24, 2012 We’re two songs into last night’s sold-out Van Halen show at the Toyota Center when lead singer David Lee Roth spots three comely ladies in the front row of the house with cameras. In the span of three seconds,…
True Blood: The Monsters We Make, We Own
Alan Ball was known for his masterful use of music in Six Feet Under. He’s lost none of his touch when it comes to his current HBO series, True Blood — which happens to be set in the Louisiana swamps, not terribly far from Houston. There’s a very interesting metaphor…
Roger Clemens’s Attorney Rusty Hardin Speaks Out on the Perjury Trial (w/ AUDIO link)
We may never know the truth — whether Roger Clemens was just the most steadfast, hubris-filled liar of all time or if he was the most doggedly competitive, wrongly accused innocent victim of hearsay and other people’s lies of all time — but we do know now that Roger Clemens…
Dionysus Theatre’s Little Shop of Horrors Filled with Delights
The set-up: You don’t go to Dionysus Theatre for slick. That’s for the big boys downtown. The sets are rudimentary, if not downright cut-and-paste; the lighting is sketchy; and the direction concentrates on getting the actors out of the way. You don’t expect shattering insights into the play’s emotional core…
Like That Wine? Try This One: A Guide to Texas Wine Varietals
In last week’s cover story, we discussed the fact that Texas vineyards still stubbornly grow varietals that aren’t suited to the Texan weather or soil — well-known grapes such as Merlot, Cabernet and Chardonnay. But they’re doing it for a reason: Too many wine drinkers don’t want to stray from…
Reviews for the Lazy Gamer: Pokemon Conquest
The Game: Pokémon Conquest Platform: DS/3DS on 2D Developer: Tecmo Koei Genre: Strategy RPG Describe This Game in Three Words: Most Adorable Chess Plot Synopsis: In the Ransei region there is a legend that he who conquers the 17 kingdoms will unlock a sacred Pokémon. Warriors do battle with their…
What If Rick Perry Wasn’t Rick Perry? He’d Be Kicking Obama’s Ass, for One Thing
What if Rick Perry had never said, “Oops”? What if he could have, for Christ’s sake, just remembered that he had wanted to gut the Department of Energy? What if he hadn’t climbed into a tan coat and Brett Favre jeans and released that abominable Youtube video — you know, the…
Linda Harden: Mom Faces Charges In Son’s Near-Drowning
A Houston woman faces charges of child endangerment by omission in the near-drowning of her seven-year-old son. Linda Harden, 33, helped her son over a fence to a closed pool in an apartment complex in the 5600 block of Antoine yesterday afternoon, police say. The child was discovered to be…
Comment of the Day: Col. St. James Earns Many Exclamation Points
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous…
Houston 101: The Battle of Jones Creek, 188 Years Ago Today
There aren’t that many Indian battles in Houston’s history, but on this date in 1824, a vicious little skirmish took place pitting Karankawas against Stephen F. Austin’s settlers in Brazoria County. The trouble started on June 21 just west of what is now Angleton at a country store owned by…
This Week in Deliciousness: The Healthy-to-Junk Whiplash
Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where uncooked quinoa and trail mix are no substitutes for massive amounts of junk food no matter what our dieticians tell us. Yes, I’m trying to cut down on the calories; it’s beach season, after all, and I’d like…
Skype Is Coming To Your TVs, Houston, But Why?
Last month, Xnfinity partnered with Comcast to launch a TV version of Skype in about a dozen cities across the U.S. Now they’re bringing it to Houston. For the modest price of $9.95 a month (on top of the standard monthly rates for Xfinity/Comcast internet/TV), you get a Skype Adapter…
8 Cool & Cheap Weekenders: Linus Pauling Quartet, Swap Meet, Etc.
Houston’s Linus Pauling Quartet releases their latest stupendous collection of screwed-and-chopped, hair-flipping stoner metal, Bag of Hammers, at Fitzgerald’s with Modfag (featuring J.R. Delgado from Party Owls), From Beyond and Hearts of Animals. (Above is the uber-awesome cover art.) Congrats guys. Free show. As long as blues legend Texas Johnny…
100 Favorite Dishes 2012: No. 70, Geisha Dog at Happy Endings
This year leading up to our annual Best of Houston® issue, we’re counting down our 100 favorite dishes in Houston. This list comprises our favorite dishes from the last year, dishes that are essential to Houston’s cultural landscape and/or dishes that any visitor (or resident) should try at least once…
Young Love: Romeo & Juliet by HITS Theatre
The HITS Theatre production of Romeo & Juliet, currently running through Saturday, may be the only Houston performance of the Shakespeare classic this season where the cast is the same age as the characters. Director Matt Hune says that working with a young cast opened his eyes to new aspects…
Rockets GM Daryl Morey Meets With The Media To Discuss The Draft (And Mention The Aborted Pau Gasol Trade A Few Times)
While the NBA Playoffs have been rolling toward their exciting conclusion in Miami and Oklahoma City, back here in Houston, the Rockets have been busy trying to figure out how they can somehow come out of the next few months of NBA player activity with a team that at least…
Lower Dens’ Jana Hunter: “I Want Things To Be Done To Me”
Nootropics is defined as a substance that enhances cognition and memory and facilitates learning. It’s also the title of the new Lower Dens record that is, perhaps tying in to that definition, a very cerebral experience. Although some have said the record is sad or nightmarish Rocks Off chooses to…
The Perfect Sushi Wine?
Even though we’re still more likely to reach for sake or beer when searching for a beverage pair with Japanese cuisine, we increasingly look to wine these days to quench the thirst that comes in the wake of the marine and umami flavors of both classic and innovative Japanese cooking…
UPDATED: Street Artist Who Allegedly Defaced Picasso Painting at Menil Posted Media Coverage to His Facebook Wall
UPDATE: That didn’t take long. Friday, the Houston Police Department charged Landeros with criminal mischief and felony graffiti. Police are seeking the public’s help in finding him. Steve Jansen reported on Tuesday that evidence was building against Landeros. From HPD’s press release: Twenty two year old Uriel Landeros, was charged…
Night Divides the Day: Week in Art Photos
It’s time again to check out the Houston Press Flickr Pool and see what kinds of art shots our talented photographers have added. We love street art, unique perspectives and beautiful photos of Houston’s creative community. If you think you’ve got a good eye, drop your pictures in the pool…
Hell Is Heaven in No Exit from Bit of a Stretch Theatre Co.
The set-up: If we are to judge Bit of a Stretch Theatre Co.’s provocative production of Jean-Paul Sartre’s most successful play, No Exit (1944), we’d have to disagree with its most famous line: Hell is other people. Sartre’s characters, who are trapped together in a windowless room somewhere in the…
Candice Schwager, Jay Lee’s Harasser, Charged With Drunken Assault (Of Someone Else)
Candice Schwager, the woman who threatened to sue local photographer Jay Lee after she used his copyrighted photo without permission, has been charged with intoxicated assault with a motor vehicle. Schwager, 41, allegedly drove her vehicle into a motorcycle June 16, injuring the bike’s female passenger, and then fled the…
Top 10 Disney EDM Lookalikes
We all wonder who our celebrity lookalike is. Someone will tell us we look like this person, a Web site will say you look like another and most likely if you’re anything like me you’ll disagree and give explanations as to why. Well, what if you’re already a celebrity? Or…
Ripe: Crayola Wishes It Could Make These Colors
Crayola can’t make these colors, but we can eat them. The unique cookbook Ripe approaches fruits and vegetables in a way we haven’t seen before. Pick a color, any color, and you can find it in the book and then at your local market. Author Cheryl Sternman Rule and photographer…
Bob Dorough: The Story Behind “Schoolhouse Rock”
By the late ’60s, despite a long and varied career that included the albums Devil May Care and Yardbird Suite, associations with Miles Davis and Allen Ginsberg, and perfecting the art of “vocalese” – assigning lyrics to the melodies of instrumental jazz solos – Bob Dorough could see the writing…
Waco Tribune-Herald Bought By Warren Buffett
Another Texas paper has been bought by billionaire Warren Buffett, meaning more good news in the world of Texas journalism. Buffett has purchased the Waco Tribune-Herald for an undisclosed price from the rightwing father-son team that had owned it (and put the slogan “In God We Trust” permanently on the…
Chef Chat, Part 3: Chris Nemoto of Zushi Practices the Art of Sushi
Chris Nemoto Zushi Japanese Cuisine 5900 Memorial Drive 713-861-5588 www.zushihouston.com This is part three of my chef chat with Chef Chris Nemoto. Part 1 and Part 2 ran in this same space over the last couple of days. “I always felt like [my sushi master] was giving me knowledge that,…
Kool & the Gang: “Houston Better Be Ready”
With more than 70 million records sold, the men of Kool and the Gang stand as some of the most commercially successful funksters of all time. Born in Jersey City, N.J., the band was essentially just a group of friends with a jones for Miles Davis and James Brown. But…
Top 5 Singular Musical Forces
Great bands are a dime a dozen. How often has a great band broken up, only to have the individual efforts of the ex-members lambasted by critics and public alike? Sometimes the chemistry of a band, collectively, makes them great, but sometimes it’s “The Talent,” a singular musical force. When…
Bobby Petrino’s Cruel Summer Continues As He Takes A $550K Bath On His Home
It’s been a while since we’ve discussed former Arkansas head football coach Bobby Petrino. When we last heard from him, he was apologizing to Razorback nation and his family for getting caught having his affair with former Razorback volleyball player, Jessica Dorrell, a dalliance that was revealed after the two…
5 Kids Games to Ban: Inspired by the Silly HOA That Outlawed Chalk Drawing
The age of common sense has apparently expired. In what could be the most ridiculous example of an overbearing homeowners association, an HOA in Denver, Colorado has banned children from fun. As of Wednesday, kids in the Stapleton neighborhood are no longer allowed to draw chalk art of hearts and…
Bob Dorough: Jazzman Reflects on Miles Davis, “Devil May Care” & More
Bob Dorough is the kind of musician who when he’s performing in the area, someone makes sure to call the local newspaper and tell them about it. In this case the man who made the phone call was Houston jazz producer Joe Peine. (Thanks, Joe.) Perhaps best-known for the insouciant…
Upcoming Events: Mixers, Elixers, Cocktails and Covers
Good news for fans of the Houston Museum of Natural Science’s late, lamented Mixers & Elixers series: It’s back! Well…sort of, and with a makeover. Says the Museum: “It’s gotten in shape, revamped its wardrobe, learned to two-step and is a brand new event: LaB 5555.” LaB 5555 kicks off…
Reviews For The Easily Distracted: Brave
Title: Brave Praise For This Seems A Bit…Reserved For A Pixar Film: That’s because it’s the first movie released since that studio’s purchase by the House of Mouse that feels like “a Disney movie.” Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: Three-and-a-half haggis…es out of five. Brief Plot Synopsis:…
Video Game High School: Game Over?
I would like to take back some of what I said last week about a lack of character development in Video Game High School. Turns out I’m just impatient. This week’s look into Video Game High School is so far the second best of the entire series, but even that…
Rest of the Best: Houston’s Top 8 Places to See a Local Act
Year after year after year, Houston nurtures and cultivates its music scene. It has grown into substantial force, arguably as powerful and diverse as it’s ever been, with legitimate talent in just about every branch or genre. Accordingly, the city is flush with venues to see said talent, be it…
Pride Weekend Special! Matty Harr of South Beach: Dancer, Drink-slinger, Martini-lover, Mosquito-hater
See the Houston Press Pride Guide. This week, in anticipation of the festivities taking place for Pride Houston, I paid my first visit to a Montrose staple for more than a decade, South Beach. The club is known for its outrageous, dance-all-night parties and they’ll use any excuse to party…
Debby Does Houston? Disturbance in the Gulf Bears Watching
The images you see above are recent model runs from two of the major weather forecasting models, both predicting a large hurricane — which would bear the name Debby — along the Texas coast middle of next week. And you thought the only supplies you’d be stocking up on next…
Week in Photos: Reflection
It’s time again to check out the Houston Press Flickr Pool and see what kinds of art shots our talented photographers have added. We love street art, unique perspectives and beautiful photos of Houston’s creative community. If you think you’ve got a good eye, drop your pictures in the pool…
5 Most Overrated Statues of All Time
Unlike these overrated lists… 5 Most Overrated Paintings of All Time 5 Most Overrated Photos of All Time 5 Most Overrated Art Movements of All Time …ranking the five most overrated statues of all time is a bit trickier. To keep it uniform, we didn’t include works such as when…
5 Ways to Celebrate National Onion Rings Day
Onion rings pair perfectly with American classics like burgers and hot dogs, and they’re also good just by themselves. But onion rings are more than a side dish. Whether you prefer them beer-battered, baked, fried or bloomin’, you’ll love these five recipes to celebrate National Onion Ring Day. 5. Baked…
The Houston Astros Are Seeking The Added Dimensions Of Roger Clemens; We Offer 20
You’re the new owner of a major league baseball team. And you come with a bunch of baggage attached. Baggage like war profiteering and various EEOC charges involving sexist and racial statements and actions directed toward your employees. Your team is bad, and there are large portions of your fan…
Openings & Closings: New Locations Coming Soon for Torchy’s and BB’s
Attention all you Torchy’s Tacos fans who aren’t fans of the parking situation at the current location on Shepherd: The Austin-based taco shop is opening a second location in the Heights on 19th Street, in the spot formerly occupied by Harold’s. Is there any restaurant that isn’t opening a location…
Bottoms Up: 5 Beers From 5 Bands To Give You 5 Hangovers
Whether you’re at a show with friends or just putting your feet up while listening to some tunes after a long day at work, for many alcohol is just another part of the rock and roll experience. And when hard liquor gets too expensive and wine seems too highfalutin, there…
100 Creatives 2012: Nisha Gosar, Indian Classical Dancer
What She Does: Nisha Gosar is an Indian classical dancer and a Bollywood dancer. She’s been interested in Indian classical dancing all her life, and would stand in the back of her older sister’s class mimicking the steps as a little girl. She started off studying with Rathna Kumar, artistic…
Celebrity Q&As: Five Answers They Always Give
We love us some celebrity Q&As, whether it’s a movie star, politician, author or whatever. You find them in the Onion’s fine Random Roles, or in The New York Times Magazine or in the main section where people describe their Sundays, or just about anywhere on the web. Each of…
5 Pop Culture Institutions That Make Great Religions
I grew up in a non-religious household, and while that’s made me somewhat out of step with a lot of America I don’t really feel like I’ve missed anything of note. Sure, I lack a traditionally organized set of rules and norms and possibly a sense of community, but I’ve…
Presidents of the United States of America Singer to Score Portal-Style Puzzler
Chris Ballew, the basitarist and singer of Seattle band Presidents of the United States of America, will be the man behind the music for an upcoming first-person puzzle game from Square Enix called Quantum Conundrum. It is impossible to overstate the importance of music in a video game. Would BioShock…
Why Yes, That Is A Used Condom Near The Harris County Criminal Courthouse Elevator (Photo SFW, If Unappetizing)
Stephanie Stradley, a Houston criminal-defense lawyer who’s probably better known for her incisive Texans Chick football blog in the Houston Chronicle, is starting another blog. The second blog is more law-related and, as she tweeted, “OK, I swear my new additional side blog stradleylaw.com/blog/ isn’t just OMG posts. Sometimes OMG…
Leonard Sawyerr: Lawyer Exposes Erect Dick On Plane, Somehow Doesn’t Get Laid
Apparently some pick-up lines work better than others. Showing a seatmate your erect dick and then asking if she really wants to climb over you to get out? Unsuccessful, if Leonard Sawyerr’s experience is any indication. Sawyerr (the extra “r” is for stupid) was convicted today in a Houston federal…
Javier Alan Correa: Corpus Man Indicted For Threatening Tennessee Mosque
The feds have indicted a Corpus Christi man for threatening a controversial Tennessee mosque with a bomb. Javier Alan Correa, 24, called the under-construction mosque in Murfreesboro last September 5 and said, “On Sept. 11, 2011, there’s going to be a bomb in the building.” The Mufreesboro mosque has been…
YES Prep Wins A $250,000 Broad Prize
Houston’s YES Prep has picked up the Broad Foundation’s first top prize for charter school management organizations, winning a cool $250,000 for the charter chain. The inaugural award was announced at the National Alliance of Public Charter Schools Conference in Minneapolis this morning. The award highlights charter schools that…
Trae Tha Truth Releases Statement on Wednesday’s ABN Shooting
Moments ago, Houston rapper Trae tha Truth released a statement about the shootings at the southwest Houston cabaret Diamond Club (formerly Scores) where he was wounded in the parking lot after performing a Juneteenth concert at the nearby Club Blue. One other person was wounded and three people were killed,…
100 Favorite Dishes 2012: No. 71, Gua Bao at Yummy Kitchen
This year leading up to our annual Best of Houston® issue, we’re counting down our 100 favorite dishes in Houston. This list comprises our favorite dishes from the last year, dishes that are essential to Houston’s cultural landscape and/or dishes that any visitor (or resident) should try at least once…
HISD Wants $1.89 Billion To Rebuild, Renovate Schools
The Houston Independent School District’s Board of Trustees is considering asking voters for a $1.89 billion bond issue that would rebuild or renovate 42 schools. The board must decide by August whether to place the item on the November 6 ballot. If voters approve the bond package, HISD would “most…
Health Department Roundup: Ben Taub, 59 Diner and More
This week’s inspection reports were heavy on recognizable inner-Loop places, most of which did fine. The most upscale place among that group, however, earned the most violations. We’ll get to that after we address everyone’s favorite Level I trauma center that isn’t called Memorial Hermann. Inspectors visited Ben Taub (1504…
Laura Pendergest-Holt: Stanford Financial CIO Pleads Guilty To Obstruction Charges
The chief investment officer of Allen Stanford’s disgraced Ponzi-scheme firm has pleaded guilty to obstructing investigations of it, the U.S. Attorney’s Office says. Laura Pendergest-Holt, 38, said she had hoped to stall an SEC investigation into Stanford International Bank (SIB), the Antiguan offshore bank owned by the financier. Says the…
Free for All: LGBT Pride Houston 2012, Lance Bradley, and Ridley Pearson
Discovery Green is the place to be Friday night for Rainbow on the Green, part of the Pride Houston 2012 celebrations. Entertainer Tye Blue will host the evening’s lineup, with artists such as Grammy Award winner Thelma Houston, Houston drag star KOFI, and American Idol season seven finalist Colton Berry…
Heat Index: The 10 Summer Album Releases We’re Sweatin’ the Most
Most places in the world, summertime is easy living: No school, no snow and no real responsibilities beyond mowing the lawn every couple of weeks. Here in Houston, summer is a little more intense. Triple-digit temperatures, hurricane warnings and Astros baseball present an annual threat to our city’s sanity that…
Chef Chat, Part 2: Chris Nemoto of Zushi
Chris Nemoto Zushi Japanese Cuisine 5900 Memorial Drive 713-861-5588 www.zushihouston.com This is the second part of a three-part chef chat series. Part 1 ran yesterday, and Part 3 will run tomorrow in this same space. Yesterday, Chef Chris Nemoto told us what it’s like to train under a sushi master…
Comment of the Day: An Alternative For The Dewhurst-Cruz Spanish Debate
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous…
Four-Leaf Towers: 30 Years of Contemporary Architecture
The Four-Leaf Towers opened 30 years ago in Uptown Houston and are as marvelous today as they were when they were established. These towers with contemporary designs were extremely different from the other condos in Houston when they were built, developer Giorgio Borlenghi says. “I remember when we met with…
The Rest of the Best: Houston’s Top 10 Salads
We’ve come a long way from the days when salads were considered simply “rabbit food” or fare for picky girls attempting to slim down. I often anticipate a salad in a restaurant as much as I do the main course thanks to the extra attention that many restaurants pay their…
Trae The Truth Injured And Coy Thompson, 23, Erica Rochelle Dotson, 30, and Carlos Durell Dorsey, 31, Dead: Bayou Body Count Nos. 84-86
A wild parking-lot shootout at a southwest side strip club left three people dead and popular rapper Trae the Truth injured, police say. Coy Thompson, 23, Erica Rochelle Dotson, 30, and Carlos Durell Dorsey, 31 were killed around 3:15 a.m. at the Diamond Club in the 9800 block of Westpark…
HPD Releases ABN Shooting Report: Poppa C Was Target
The Houston Police Department released its report of the investigation into Wednesday morning’s shooting outside two southwest Houston nightclubs that killed three people and wounded two others, including popular Houston rapper Trae tha Truth. According to the report, the shooting occurred around 3:15 a.m. in the parking lot of 9850…
Dallas: “My Friends Are In The Statehouse. My Enemies Are Gonna Be Harder To Find.”
“Previously on Dallas…” a lot of shit happened. Bobby may be dying, Christopher may be hooking up with ex-girlfriend Elena, newlywed Rebecca and her brother are conning her new husband, and J.R. has emerged from a long period of catatonia to reassert himself as the biggest sonofabitch west of the…
Dynamo Stay Unbeaten At BBVA, Draw Against Toronto FC
They were playing Toronto FC, a team that with one measly win on the season. But as the cliché goes, “this is why we play the game.” Instead of dispatching the hapless Reds, the Orange had to fight back from a two-goal halftime deficit to earn a home draw against…
Are You Ready For Ulysses S. Grant: All Star Gigolo?
Today sees the release of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, the film version Seth Grahame-Smith’s popular 2010 novel of the same name. Duh. The vampire flick is getting plenty of buzz of course with our country’s fascination with blood-drinkers and the 16th President Of The United States. It’s all a match…
Levi Weaver: King of the House Concert, Coming to a Home Near You
When people fantasize about being a musician, they tend to think about living the high life — travelling from city to city in a jet, playing sold-out shows in front of thousands of screaming fans, and having access to the finest things. But no matter how nice the dream sounds,…
Schilleci’s New Orleans Kitchen Falls Short of Louisiana Flavor
New Orleans cuisine is the definition of hearty, spicy food. From shrimp Po-Boys to crawfish etouffee, each bite is filled with Cajun spice. Schilleci’s New Orleans Kitchen has a menu filled with New Orleans classic dishes, but the lackluster flavors left me dissatisfied. I’d heard that Schilleci’s is a happening…
USA-Italy Rugby: Yes, This Is A Kind Of a Big Deal
During the 2011 Rugby World Cup, the United States Eagles had a decent shot to make it to the first quarterfinals in club history. And the Eagles played well for a half against the Italians before poor tackling did them in during a 27-10 loss. On Saturday, June 23, the…
B L A C K I E Completes Successful French, Canadian Invasions
For the last month, B L A C K I E, Houston’s favorite act of musical warfare, roamed around Europe and Canada on tour, performing shows (both scheduled and impromptu) and yanking bolts from the Eiffel Tower. His shows, manic audio attacks blasted through homemade speaker cabinets sometimes as many…
Tales From Aisle 14: Grocery Shopping for the Non-Cook
I spent six years living in New York City, eating every meal except breakfast Cheerios out and about on the wide streets of Manhattan. During that time, cooking seemed like a quaint idea in the face of all of New York’s world-renowned, and hole-in-the-wall, eateries. Cooking. Cute, but unrealistic. Now…
Grocery Store Gets Graffiti: GONZO247’s YUMMY! 247 Exhibit at Phoenicia Specialty Foods
Across the street from Discovery Green stands Phoenicia Specialty Foods Downtown Market, a stately eight-month-old addition to the family-owned grocery store’s original Westheimer location. Inside the store, blinding white walls are lined with shelves holding ethnic foods and goods, while freshly baked pita bread puffs work their way down a…
48 Hour Film Project Takes Over Studio Movie Grill
Aspiring filmmakers from Houston and beyond traveled to the Studio Movie Grill CityCenter last night to view a showcase of their own work and size up the competition. Last night Art Attack took in some popcorn and soda and kicked back for one of the five screenings of the 48…
Introducing Respectful Wonka, a Kinder, Gentler Meme
If you spend any time on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, or Pinterest you know about the Condescending Wonka Meme. The scourge of Twitter with a dozen copycat feeds clogging up the important work otherwise going on around the Twitterverse, the meme lashes out condescendingly at idiots and their ilk with a…
I Need More Spotify! App to Offer Streaming Radio Service
We’ve already talked about how Houston absolutely loves One Direction, Carly Rae Jepsen and Gotye, that somewhat fun, catchy pop music that the regular radio stations play ad nauseum according to Spotify. Now the service is adding one more feature to it’s already growing stature — and it might kick…
You’re Such a Groove, Please Don’t Move, Please Stay Here [And Pour Me A] Mendocino
It’s funny, the way we form associations with things. Names are a big one. In recent discussion with a sister-in-law, regarding potential names for a potential kid, we cast names aside willy-nilly, citing former relationships and kids we hated in our youth. At one point, someone advocated Jolene (I voted…
Know Your Local Media: Col. St. James on the Texas Radio Hall of Fame and Naked Strippers on the KLOL Console
Getting into the Texas Radio Hall of Fame is a big deal when you consider the company includes Wolfman Jack and George Carlin among others. One local dee jay, Colonel St. James of 93.7 the Arrow, is among them. He has been on air since the 1970s and has worked…
Jesus Christ Anthony Turner: Hauled in by Houston Cops on Aggravated Robbery Charge
Image by Monica FuentesAccording to Houston Police, on June 18, Jesus Christ Anthony Turner pointed a gun at a man and robbed him. Since the alleged offense took place while the 27-year-old South Park resident was free on bond for a January home burglary, Jesus Christ is currently being held…
Pop Rocks: Breaking Down The New Breaking Dawn Trailer With – Yes – Animated .GIFS
They released the most recent teaser for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 earlier this week, and one thing you can sure say about it; it’s a brief encapsulation of the upcoming film. Hell, it’s more than that. If I wasn’t going to be forced to see this…
Five Fast Food Chicken Dishes We Want Back (Immediately)
We’ve already taken a look at the Discontinued Snack Foods that we want back on the shelves, like O’boisies Potato Chips and those creepy little Giggles cookies. Now its time to take a stand and demand that a few fast foods make their way back to the menu board, our…
Ashley Rae Ortega, 26: Busted For Sexual Assault of 14-Year-Old Boy
Bell County JailAshley Rae Ortega: Parents of victim made initial outcry to police.A 26-year-old Killeen woman with ties to the Houston area has been charged with sexually assaulting a 14-year-old boy. According to KXXV, Ashley Rae Ortega is an acquaintance of the boy’s family, and per KDHD, was staying with…
Gothic Council: Like Rappers, We Pick Silly Names
The goth scene and the rap scene actually have a lot in common. We both like skulls on our clothes and jewelry, we both like songs about substance abuse, sex, and death, and we both like to pick absolutely ridiculous nicknames. Don’t worry, if you don’t pick one yourself someone…
The Top 12 Texas Junk Foods: 1981 and Now
Assistant music editor Craig Hlavaty recently purchased a 1981 edition of The Genuine Texas Handbook, a guide to all things Texan. It’s an often-tongue-in-cheek look at the people, places, outfits, songs, foods and more that made someone Texan 31 years ago. Incidentally, the book and I are the same age,…
You Too Can Look and Smell Like Dita von Teese — But Only if You Live in Europe
Dita von Teese is an arresting beauty, known as much for her dedication to the “bombshell pin-up” look and brief marriage to rocker Marilyn Manson as for her actual career as a burlesque dancer. If you attended her Strip, Strip, Hooray! show at the House of Blues last year you…
Death To The BCS. Finally.
In the world of sports and entertainment, sometimes the teams or performers that we love are altered drastically and detrimentally in some way, but in an effort to try and brainwash us into thinking the new version is as good as the old one, they keep the name the same…
5 Hot Princes Under 30 (Sorry William You Are Too Old)
Ladies, it is time to officially take those photos of Prince William out of your hope chests. He’s a goner. For one thing (one big major thing) William is married and just based on the multitude of images captured of the prince and his bride, they seem like they may…
Great GIFs of Van Halen & David Lee Roth
Van Halen’s first new set of material in 14 years, A Different Kind of Truth, is better than it should be. The guys could have slacked off on this and coasted on their legend — however tarnished it may be in the eyes of fair-weather fans — but Truth is…
When the Sh*t Hits the Fan
Check out our pictures of moderate preppers living life off-the-grid in the Texas desert. In 2007, John Wells quit the rat race. The former fashion photographer and set designer had been living in an old farmhouse in the country outside New York City, working 15-hour days just to eke out…
Brave, A Rare Family Film
With her flame-colored ringlets, Merida, the barely adolescent heroine of Pixar’s 13th feature, looks like a wee Rebekah Brooks, maybe a pint-size Florence Welch. Despite these resemblances, Merida remains an original: Brave, set in the Scottish Highlands in the tenth century, is the animation studio’s first film with a female…
Strong Roots
See chef German Mosquera and his team at work in their beautiful, bounty-filled kitchen in our slideshow. Roots Bistro is one of the few restaurants where I can leave completely stuffed and not feel bad about it. That’s because the main component of all four meals I’ve had there since…
The Apocalypse Drag
Apocalypse movies are a venerable enough genre (and reliable enough as box-office cash spigots) to support a few lightweight, funny-sad-romantic entries every once in a while. Given the right touch, this approach can be just the antidote to the idea-free, effects-laden blockbusters and art house pity parties that dominate the…
El-P and Killer Mike Collaborate
Killer Mike, the mayor of Atlanta underground rap, is mercilessly teasing El-P, Definitive Jux founder and reluctant New York indie-rap mascot. “El, tell him the acronym I suggested for our group record!” Mike is giggling, an infectious sound that only grows louder as El-P’s face grows more pained. We are…
It Is What It Is. Or Is It?
“It is what it is. Or is it?” at the Contemporary Arts Museum Houston is CAMH curator Dean Daderko’s first show. It has Marcel Duchamp as its standard bearer and focuses on the readymade as both object and idea. There is no text to spell out what to take away…
Garland Jeffreys, The Contortionist
At 69, Brooklyn rocker Garland Jeffreys has seen about all of it. A running buddy of Lou Reed’s when they both attended art school at Syracuse University, Jeffreys was there at the birth of what eventually morphed into punk, although his own work has little to do with punk per…
Don Williams
We live at a special time in history when some of classic country’s most talented voices are still making the touring rounds. Hell, Merle Haggard and Ray Price come through Houston every few months, and Loretta Lynn and Charley Pride recently made stops in the Bayou City area. Thursday night,…
Capsule Art Reviews: “Bo Joseph: Empire of Spoils,” “Jason Yates: All We Ever Wanted Was Everything,” “Lucas Johnson: Original Prints,” “Perry House: Elegance/Violence,” “reverse of volume RG,” “Rhythm”
“Bo Joseph: Empire of Spoils” In Bo Joseph’s first solo show at McClain Gallery, his paintings are hardly reproducible — they’re made through a complicated method involving layers of oil pastels, water-based tempera and acrylic-based ink on sheet paper that often damages the delicate paper in the process. Joseph works…
Linus Pauling Quartet
If bongwater had a specific frequency (besides a viscous bubbling), it would sound exactly like Linus Pauling Quartet. The Houston five-piece actually encoded “Texas stoner rock” into iTunes’ genre field for their new album and first in five years, Bag of Hammers (Homeskool Records), and spends its 40-minute entirety living…
Capsule Stage Reviews: Kiss of the Spider Woman, New Arrivals, Red Hot Patriot: The Kick-Ass Wit of Molly Ivins, The Psychic
Kiss of the Spider Woman This is not the Kander & Ebb musical version of Manuel Puig’s best-selling novel. There are no shirtless chorus boys gyrating around Chita Rivera in a birdcage. This is the earlier stage adaptation, dramatized by Puig and translated into English by Allan Baker. Unhinged Productions,…
Van Halen
Van Halen’s first new set of material in 14 years, A Different Kind of Truth, is better than it should be. The guys could have slacked off on this and coasted on their legend — however tarnished it may be in the eyes of fair-weather fans — but Truth is…
Coldplay
There are still 88 years and six months remaining in the 21st century, but thus far, Coldplay is its most influential band. This is not a statement of opinion, but one grounded in anecdotal data — no other band is mentioned after the words “this band sounds like…” as frequently…
Lower Dens
Jana Hunter has been mingling subdued folk music and spacey psychedelia since her days in Houston’s Matty & Mossy, her late-’90s band that reminded some music scribes at the time of Smog and Cat Power. A few years later, she and friend Devendra Banhart were in the middle of indie-rock’s…
Rules for Dating
Dear Mexican, In anticipation of the upcoming Reconquista, I’ve decided that I need a Mexican girlfriend. I feel this will help me fit in better with our new Mexican overlords. However, Mexican ladies must be approached with particular regard to culture and customs, and that raises many questions. A well-known…
Puscifer
Metal’s leading weirdo luminary, Maynard James Keenan, comes to Bayou Music Center Wednesday. He won’t be with Tool or A Perfect Circle, but with Puscifer, his supremely strange music and comedy project. So what is Puscifer? “It will be appropriate to its setting,” Maynard says. “I wouldn’t want to watch…
Noise Ordinance Bombs
Highlights from Hair Balls CRIME Noise Ordinance Bombs Cases dropped in court. By Steve Jansen Due to a lack of witnesses and insufficient evidence, the Harris County court system shuttered each and every sound ordinance case that was heard recently. Local musicians, DJs and bar owners have been under the…
Where the Chefs Eat
We asked three of Houston’s up-and-coming young guns — Grant Gordon (age 26), Kevin Naderi (age 26) and Matt Marcus (age 28) — where they like to eat. The three are not only chefs but friends. Naderi has known Gordon since kindergarten. Marcus, who refers to Gordon as “G-Man,” worked…
Living Loud and Proud
Bravo! Celebrity Grand Marshal Madison Hildebrand lands in Houston. To make a parade a success, you need outstanding floats, excited patrons and, of course, a stellar grand marshal. This year, the Houston Pride Parade will host four grand marshals, each from a different walk of life. Of the four, Madison…
