A Long Bomb at Reliant!
“Johnson explo… um, I mean, runs down the sideline!” I know a few Texans season ticket holders who’ve secretly dreamed of blowing up Reliant Stadium, but this is a little extreme. There’s news today that several NFL stadiums, including Reliant, were named as targets for radiological dirty bomb attack in…
A Long Bomb at Reliant!
“Johnson explo… um, I mean, runs down the sideline!” I know a few Texans season ticket holders who’ve secretly dreamed of blowing up Reliant Stadium, but this is a little extreme. There’s news today that several NFL stadiums, including Reliant, were named as targets for radiological dirty bomb attack in…
A Little Afternoon Ha
Courtesy of Ha Jin The pragmatic exile: Jin In 1989, Chinese-born Ha Jin was studying at Brandeis University in Massachusetts when the Tiananmen Square Massacre occurred, stranding him in America. So it’s not surprising that political uncertainty is a constant theme in his books and Red China a constant setting…
The Smoke Has Cleared…
At times like this, who better to turn to than Vince, Tommy, Nikki and Mick? Yep, it’s official: Smoking has been banned in most Houston public places. The Press has had plenty to say about this issue, in stories such as Keith Plocek’s counter-argumentative “Got a Light?” and John Nova…
A Right Wing Take on the Walter’s War
To Galt, this ain’t police brutality — it’s justice. Editor’s note: John Galt, Houston’s favorite right-wing hipster, contacted music editor John Nova Lomax demanding to be given equal time in the debate over the Walter’s on Washington War. HouStoned, being a fair and balanced blog, has complied. You can respond…
Royal Flush
Photos by Keith Plocek for HouStoned Images Ltd., Ulmtd. These ladies are sick of cleaning up trash and being treated like junk. Growing up in Houston, the only union I knew anything about was the one that killed the 1994 baseball season and enabled Jeff Bagwell to earn the National…
“Discovery Green” Is Classy?
Why didn’t they just go with Lightnin’ Hopkins Park? Despite the best efforts of both Houstoned and Slampo’s Place, the name of the new downtown park will most decidedly not be Lightnin’ Hopkins Park. No, pretty much as Slampo and yours truly figured, the powers-that-be here wanted something “classier” than…
Re:Re: Bachelor Bitchin’
Copyright 00A9 2006 ABC, Inc. / Bob D’Amico Will calling the prince a “dumbass” help Erica’s chances? I got the call in the middle of Monday Night Football: “Dude, did you see who got kicked off The Bachelor?” I checked TiVo, and all I can say is damn, I thought…
Re: The Great Flood of October 16
Seems almost surreal — what with this glorious sunshine — that yesterday, heavy rains caused Buffalo Bayou to swell, turned Memorial Park into lake front property and claimed four lives. I thought I’d see if I could find my drowned park bench this morning. — Steven Devadanam …and dry today…
The Cowboys Still Suck…
Consider this an artist’s rendering of Cowboys Tony Romo and T.O. Thank the football god above, the Texans-Cowboys game is over. The chatter on sports talk radio is almost dead. And no longer do we have to watch T.O. crying about his lack of tosses (unless you tune into ESPN,…
The Great Flood of October 16
It’s clearly time to start thinking of your evening drive home. With that in mind, and with news that we’re still in a flood watch until 4:30 p.m. at the earliest, we figured we should do the news outlet thing and offer up some flood shots of our own. Photos…
Walter’s: Come for the Show, Stay for the Brawl
This pic from the incident’s MySpace page pretty much says it all… So of course everyone in town is talking about the shitstorm/fisticuffs/throwdown that occurred during Friday night’s Two Gallants show at Walter’s. (We started getting e-mails about it later that evening.) We’re getting eyewitness accounts from hordes of people,…
The Sole Man Wants You
Lomax walks the line. Will you? (C’mon, the weather’s nice.) In the aftermath of my “Sole of Houston” article, in which yours truly and Geoffrey “Uncle Tick” Mueller walked the entire length of Westheimer, I’ve received some interesting mail. None more so than this, which was sent to our home…
Ghetto Class, You!
Only a few can be called Ghetto Fabulous… Call it really good training for discrimination/insensitivity suits… Things are coming to a boil at the UT Law School after the school’s dean dogged several students for throwing a “Ghetto Fabulous” party — off campus. A source very close to HouStoned —…
Football U., Week 2
Watch these guys take each other to school… Yep, it’s time again for Football U., in which Richard Connelly and John Nova Lomax go head-to-head, dissecting college pigskin games, and sometimes, mascots. Love the picks? Hate ’em? Leave your picks, takes or shit-talk in the commnets section. Rich’s picks: This…
Football U., Week 2
Watch these guys take each other to school… Yep, it’s time again for Football U., in which Richard Connelly and John Nova Lomax go head-to-head, dissecting college pigskin games, and sometimes, mascots. Love the picks? Hate ’em? Leave your picks, takes or shit-talk in the commnets section. Rich’s picks: This…
Wonkette’s Dashboard Confessional
Daniel Kramer Oh K.A., you’re the gift that keeps on giving… Opened up the Dashboard (you know, blogspeak for the blog administrative homepage…never mind) and what’s waiting there? An incoming link from the snarky politicos at Wonkette. Seems the Wonkers have realized the error of their ways and finally credited…
It’s a Blast at HISD
Reuters What’s a harmless grenade among friends? First it was clawin’ and bitin’ at police officers at Waltrip High. But hey, things move fast at H.I.S.D. More details regarding Tuesday’s news about the eight-year-old kid who brought a grenade to Kate Bell Elementary. (Now that’s an interesting show n’ tell…
The Good, the Blog and the Ugly
I’ve always heard that bloggers are a self-absorbed, self-righteous and self-referential bunch. Then I became editor of the Houston Press’s HouStoned and entered the blogosphere. So, now that I’ve become self-absorbed, self-righteous and self-referential, I call to attention the much-anticipated 94-day anniversary of HouStoned — and our recent naming by…
Voter Fraud
Barry Levinson hasn’t made a movie of note in almost a decade — since 1997’s Wag the Dog, to be precise, and even that was less a work of substantial relevance than a bit of lucky timing based on someone else’s better novel. Granted, it had its moments — at…
Letters to the Editor
Story SoReal On the Matt: I just wanted to take a minute to let you know how much I enjoyed reading your recent article on HoustonSoReal’s Matt Sonzala [“Party Boy,” by Keith Plocek, September 28]. I always check out his blog entries and am continually amazed at his drive and…
The Harder They Come
The sex is real in John Cameron Mitchell’s Shortbus; only the setting — an animated New York cityscape, benignly watched over by a fluorescent Statue of Liberty — is fake. To an extent, that describes the movie: a sexually daring, dramatically timid roundelay that employs unsimulated twosomes, threesomes, and even…
Faking College
Last October a group of new Rice University students went to Six Flags AstroWorld. Among them was David Jovani Vanegas, a sophomore transfer student from UT. No one knew him too well since he lived off campus, but he was friendly. When the group got lost between the Light Rail…
The Buzz
Mosquitos singer Juju Stulbach may be the only woman anyone ever picked up by using the line, “Hi, you’re a musician.” Stulbach was working in New York on a film when guitarist and then leader of the indie band am60 Chris Root was visiting the set. Stulbach was humming to…
Repeat Offender
There is no way of sidestepping the issue, so why not jump right into it: Infamous, this year’s retelling of how Truman Capote wound up in Kansas writing his nonfiction novel In Cold Blood, never comes close to approaching the quiet, devastating brilliance of Capote, last year’s retelling of how…
Montrose Vindaloo
Maybe I was staring too intently at the hot foie gras and sweet fig chutney appetizer my tablemate ordered at Indika. He was dying to dig in, but instead he sat back and invited me to go ahead and have a bite. Politeness would have dictated that I insist he…
Leaving the Wolfe Pack
So the last couple of weeks have found me in email conversation with maverick Nashville/Austin/Mississippi record producer/songwriter R.S. Field, a guy who has worked with everyone from the Fabulous Thunderbirds, Buddy Guy, John Mayall and Webb Wilder to Billy Joe Shaver and Sonny Landreth to Scott Miller, Hayes Carll and…
Lord Have Mercy
God is in the details no matter what you believe, but Jesus Camp is content to introduce its appalled expos of Christian youth indoctrination with shots of a fast-food- and flag-lined highway and the words “Missouri, USA.” Welcome to hell, kids. Missouri — yikes! — is among the holy lands…
SANGRIA
At the entrance to Hans’ Village Bier and Vino Haus (2523 Quenby, 713-520-7474), I’m greeted by a dog named Taylor who appears to be pulling double duty as both bouncer and hostess. Tail wagging, he sizes me up and leads me to the bar. I sit down and look out…
Tech? No!
Ten years ago, music industry wags were telling us that techno music was going to take the rock world by storm. Guitars and drums would be abandoned, we were told, children would be asking for drum machines for Christmas. When the Prodigy, the genre’s would-be Nirvana, topped the Spice Girls…
Hometown Legend
They say youse can never go home again. Nevertheless, Queens-bred big-timer Dito Montiel revisits his old Astoria stomping grounds in A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, a Sundance-sanctioned testosterone indie loosely based on the thirtysomething writer-director and occasional fashion model’s neo-Beat semiautobiography of the same name. Montiel may be a…
Looking for a hit
Mike Stinson, whose song “The Late Great Golden State” was recorded by Dwight Yoakam, is the kind of act Nashville record execs and publishers usually run away from. Songs like “Last Fool at the Bar” hardly appeal to the glammed-up CMT crowd. But when we caught up with LA’s king…
Smooth as Silk
Once upon a time in the world of American pop music, smooth was cool. Subtlety reigned, and young love was sung, fully dressed, with tight melodic harmony and background moves in shiny unison. In the Eisenhower era, “doo-wop” was the sound of choice, and black singing groups were the kings…
Give Me a “V”
Please pay attention, because I only want to say this one time: Ladies, when you wear tight jeans, your crotch area should resemble the letter V. For those of you walking around with a W, you are wearing your pants too damn tight. The W means that your jeans are…
Capsule Reviews
Captain’s Outrageous Playwright and industrial communications consultant David DeBoy began his acting/writing career in Baltimore’s dinner theater scene. “With so many dinner theaters and not enough light comedies, we were sometimes forced into doing mediocre plays that needed a lot of punching up,” he has said. “One day I was…
Frankie J
Frankie J must be a record exec’s dream: He’s got smooth vocals that effortlessly go from pop to R&B to cumbias, looks that are the perfect blend of pretty and thug, and an address book that includes friends Chamillionaire, Jellybean Benitez, Happy Perez and Mannie Fresh. Of course, the fact…
Text Messages
“In a sense, every work is itself its best description.” These words are part of Joseph Kosuth’s Essays #7 (2000), currently on view in Deborah Colton Gallery’s “Word” exhibition. Kosuth attributes the quote to Franco-Bulgarian thinker Tzvetan Todorov, and it functions as a semi-ironic description of the artist’s own work…
Planes Mistaken For Stars
Though Planes Mistaken For Stars have been associated with the screamo movement since the quartet’s inception in 1997, on the band’s latest release, Mercy, it seems as though they’ve abandoned that scene altogether, settling for a sound that’s more straight-up metal, without any of that lyrical emo love crap (at…
Capsule Reviews
DiverseWorks: J Hill’s Sound Installations You can hear the Sonny Liston/Muhammad Ali fight in the bathroom at DiverseWorks. It’s part of an ongoing series of sound installations by artist J Hill in the arts space’s two public bathrooms. Hill dotted the walls and ceiling of the bathroom with speakers, transforming…
Bonnie “Prince” Billy
It’s been three years since the last proper Bonnie “Prince” Billy release, but the once and future Will Oldham has been far from idle. Aside from releasing a confusing, countrified tribute to himself, a spacey covers album with Chicago electronica supremos Tortoise, a record of Skynyrd-derived rock in collaboration with…
Special Rip-Off Edicin
Dear Mexican, How can you explain the disparity between Japan and Mexico? Japan is a nation a fraction the size of Mexico, with zero natural resources, and it suffered a devastating war of four years that included two atom bombs, yet it has reached the highest in educational achievements, technological…
Silk
Atlanta quartet Silk hit all the right notes on Always and Forever, a collection of R&B covers. Each tune is a flawless rendition of a former grind-groove hit, including “Nite and Day” and the CD’s title track. Tight harmonies, impeccable timing and lush orchestration show Silk’s mastery of the romantic…
Brush With Greatness
Publisher: Capcom
Platform: PS2
Price: $39.99
ESRB Rating: T (for Teen)
Score: 9 (out of 10)
Los Abandoned
Lady P, lead vocalist for Los Abandoned, claims she’s classically trained — on the ukulele! Ah, okay. Lady P does play the ukulele on some of the group’s tunes, but thankfully, she’s more often on keyboards or rhythm guitar. Still, her ukulele should be right at home at their show…
The Delightful Dud
A Prairie Home Companion (New Line) This all-star sing-along — with Meryl Streep, Lily Tomlin, Tommy Lee Jones, Virginia Madsen, Woody Harrelson, etc. — that wears its smile bright and wide looked for all the world like a summertime sleeper hit. Not so much, even though no movie this year…
Two Gallants
“Desperate times call for desperate men,” howls Two Gallants vocalist Adam Stephens during the opening track of his band’s most recent CD, What the Toll Tells. He follows up that truism with a knowing wink, “I’m just a kid, but I’ll pretend.” There’s been a lot made of the incongruence…
Our top DVD picks for the week of October 12:
The Andy Milonakis Show: The Complete Second Season (Paramount) The A-Team: Season Five, the Final Season (Universal) Bloodied but Unbowed: Bloodshot Records’ Life in the Trenches (Bloodshot) Carlos Mencia: No Strings Attached (Paramount) Click (Sony) Don’t Go in the Woods Alone: 25th Anniversary Edition (Code Red) Everybody Hates Chris: The…
Robbie Fulks and Danny Barnes
“Thirteen linear feet of duo” is how Danny Barnes describes his collaboration with alt-country maverick Robbie Fulks. The two have been collaborating during the last year, ever since they were commissioned to score the 1926 Al Langdon silent film Tramp, Tramp, Tramp. Both men have huge musical vocabularies that stretch…
SPOOKY SPOTLIGHT
Don’t look now, but that noise behind you is growing louder — and closer. It’s the season to jump at every shadow and run from every black cat. You can drown your fears in drink or amuse yourself by scaring the naive around you. Whether you want to dress like…
Nutty Fish
The pecan-encrusted redfish ($26) at River Oaks Grill (2630 Westheimer, 713-520-1738) is a welcome addition to the menu. Redfish is tasty — not too fishy — and when it’s simply dipped in flour and pan-fried in butter along with pecan pieces, all of the natural flavor comes through. River Oaks…
The Sole of Houston
I’ve read that you can see Westheimer from space. I’ve also read that it is the longest commercial thoroughfare in Texas. I’ve always thought of it as the soul of the west side of Houston. For all of these reasons and a few more, I thought it would be a…
Absolute Power
In The Last King of Scotland, an adequate thriller redeemed by Forest Whitaker’s sensational turn as Idi Amin, freshly qualified Scottish physician Nicholas Garrigan (James McAvoy) arrives in Uganda in 1970, ravenous for adventure. Under the rigorous and vaguely romantic tutelage of a lithe blonde with a flabby marriage and…
Tears of a Klown
Almost everyone out in the boonies hates those countless signs that homebuilders and sellers illegally put up on private property and street medians. Few people, though, hate them as much as Larry Lipton, a resident of the FM 1960 area. His ongoing fight with Royce Homes over its signs is…