Oct 27 – Nov 2, 2016

Oct 27 - Nov 2, 2016 / Vol. 28 / No. 43

This Week in Houston Food Events: It’s Sweet Week!

From a charitable week of all things sweet to the release of a chocolate milk stout, here’s a look at this week’s hottest culinary happenings: All week long Sweet Week Michael’s Cookie Jar’s Michael Savino and Fluff Bake Bar’s Rebecca Masson are hosting Houston’s first ever “Sweet Week” from Sunday,…

Our Worst (Best?) Stories of Houston’s Beloved Traffic

We all know you can strike up a conversation with anyone in Houston on either of two topics: traffic and the weather. And this week’s dreadful news that a downtown section of I-45 will be closed for several weekends got us thinking about the former. While weird weather comes and…

Audience Participation Undoes The Judgment of Fools

The set up: There are two types of theater goers in the world – those who like audience participation and those who loathe it. You should probably know into which of these camps you fall before making arrangements to see the absurdist/vaudevillian social commentary comedy, The Judgment of Fools. You…

Upcoming Houston Food Events: Holiday Sweets & Bubbles

Mark your calendars, because you don’t want to miss these deliciously fun culinary happenings, from a Vietnamese comfort food pop-up to cookbook-inspired dinners: Before the guys over at Pass & Provisions, 807 Taft, head to Southern Smoke on Sunday, November 6, they’ll be hosting chef Marcus Samuelsson for a special…

Reviews For The Easily Distracted: Doctor Strange

Title: Doctor Strange Describe This Movie Using One Simpsons Quote: Homer: Oh, here’s something you’ll like: When Animals Attack Magicians. Brief Plot Synopsis: Gifted neurosurgeon loses use of hands, gains third eye. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: Three-and-a-half M.C. Escher’s Relativity prints out of five. Tagline: “Question reality. Change your destiny.” Better…

Openings & Closings: Hello Harlem Road, Good-bye Rockwell

Shake Shack is scheduled to open its doors Friday, November 4, setting up shop at 5015 Westheimer Road in the center of Galleria I. Shake Shack, known for 100 percent all-natural Angus beef burgers, is offering a “Texas-exclusive called the Lockhart Link Burger, a cheeseburger topped with griddled Kreuz Market…

Houston Moral Authority Steve Hotze Compares Gays to Termites

Houston homophobic hatemonger Dr. Steve “Birth Control Makes Women Less Attractive” Hotze compared gays to termites at a conservative rally in Houston last weekend, the Dallas Morning News reports. Hotze’s entomologically suspect remarks were recorded by RightWingWatch.org, following “the second annual Stand4Truth conference,” headlined by Dallas pastor and Fox News…

Best Bets for This Weekend’s College and NFL Games

When someone sits down to write a book about some of the great runs of success in all of sports, and that person chronicles feats like the 1972 Dolphins finishing 17-0, UCLA men’s basketball team winning seven straight titles in the late ’60s and early ’70s, or the Undertaker winning…

Classy Aaron Watson Shuts Down the Internet Outrage Machine

It was an innocent enough post. On Halloween, Texas country singer Aaron Watson shared a photo of his family dressed up in costume. Watson and his son were dressed up like Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney, and his wife was dressed up like Disney’s version of Pocahontas. In light of…

Where to Dine in Houston on Thanksgiving Day 2016

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and it’s time to make those Turkey Day plans. This year, why not let Houston restaurants do the work for you? From casual roast turkey dinners to elegant five-course affairs, check out our 2016 Thanksgiving Day Dining Guide. Note: Don’t forget to make reservations,…

The 2016 Houston Press Music Award Nominees

First things first. This year’s Houston Press Music Awards ballot doesn’t look anything like the ballots we’ve had in previous years. It’s not supposed to. To be honest, the previous model was in danger of collapsing under its own weight; perversely, it almost became a victim of Houston’s amazing diversity…

He’s Ignoring My Calls. Help!

Dear Willie D: I was at a party and ran into a guy who I’ve seen out a few times. He walked over and sat in the booth me and my friends were sitting in, and ordered drinks for the table. As the night progressed I found myself talking to…

Westworld and the Gamification of Who Gets to Be Human

A wall of white and black hats. Terrifying darkness. A woman staggering through a medical facility with her guts ripped open. And always, in the background: the player piano ticking along according to its programming, playing modern-day ballads to the denizens of a future world. Welcome to Westworld, a slick…

Judge Accepts $1.9 Million Settlement for Sandra Bland’s Family

A federal judge in Houston on Tuesday signed off on a settlement between Texas officials and Geneva Reed-Veal, whose daughter, Sandra Bland, died at the Waller County Jail in July 2015. Reed-Veal accepted the $1.9 million settlement offer from the defendants, former Department of Public Safety Trooper Brian Encinia and…

Sid Miller Calls Hillary Clinton a Certain C-word on Twitter

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller has truly outdone himself this time with a tweet that called Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton the c-word. On Tuesday, Miller was riding high and enjoying the delights of being Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump’s man in Texas, out on the campaign trail stumping for…

Akaushi Burgers at Houston’s Largest Outdoor Patio

How can you beat a great burger outside on the patio with an ice cold Karbach Hopadillo on a less than 90 degree Houston afternoon in Midtown? Only if you made that an Akaushi beef burger with a bucket of local craft beer at one of the newest hidden treasured…

5 Insane Dining Experiences From Across the Country

These restaurant, café and bar experiences from across the country go beyond finding a hair in a salad or a rookie server. They’re completely wrecked. Notice that none of Houston’s restaurants are on the list. That’s because Houston knows what’s up. Where you bean? Last month, after a night of…

NASA’s New Asteroid Detector System Actually Detected an Asteroid

If the thought of asteroids whizzing toward Earth has ever had you freaked out, NASA has come up with a new computer system to help ease your flying-rock-unexpectedly-destroys-Earth fears, and it recently proved just how effective it is. Usually when asteroids are zipping dangerously close to the planet, NASA only…

Top 10 Most Overrated Avant-Garde Artists

From literature to architecture, experimental music to painting, these 10 creatives can be summed up in the words of Sir Paul McCartney: “Avant garde a clue.” Banksy Just because an artist’s identity is unverifiable doesn’t make him “underground” or “good.” But somehow, the English street artist and his cloaked persona…

Make it Stop! When Will It Finally Cool Off In Houston?

Readers, we’ve let you down. Twice, we’ve proclaimed cool temperatures were nigh. But even when temperatures dipped into the 50s for a few early morning hours, they shot right back up again. Houstonians who have been sweating in every moment spent outside lately (or opened an electric bill) already know…

Music and the 2016 Election: The Losers

Look, I get it, at this point in the presidential-election cycle, we are all suffering from information overload. A lot of us don’t even care anymore because we’ve already cast our ballots. However, many others remain undecided; shoutout to Ken Bone. A typical undecided voter might make his or her…

Interracial Marriage Drama Loving Stirs with Quiet Humility

With films like Take Shelter, Mud and even this spring’s somewhat uneven Midnight Special, Jeff Nichols has steadily built a filmography of terse beauty. With Loving, he tackles the kind of boldface subject matter that Oscar season feeds on: It’s a historical drama about the 1967 Supreme Court decision that…

Seriously, Dan Brown Deserves Better Than Inferno

I’m not afraid to admit that I get a kick out of Dan Brown’s Robert Langdon thrillers. Yes, they’re indifferently plotted and predictably written. But I’m a sucker for ludicrous, centuries-spanning conspiracies and indulgent faux-gnosticism. The books serve, if nothing else, as gripping tours through art-world apocrypha, and Brown’s know-it-all…

Bun B Gives Some Lucky Houston Kids a Happy Trill-O-Ween

As the sun set across Houston’s beautiful pumpkin-colored sky on Halloween evening, rapper/professor Bernard Freeman, better known as Bun B of UGK, was on a mission. For many years now, Bun and his team have taken up the task of helping  to eradicate hunger that many less fortunate Houstonians encounter…

Five Underrated Plays in the Texans Win Over the Lions

In many ways, the Texans’s Week 8 win over the Detroit Lions was a perfect microcosm of the first half of their season — there wasn’t anything the Texans did in an exceedingly superior fashion, they just seemed to make enough plays to have more points on the scoreboard at…

Reality Contest Shows Need to Do Away With Weekly Elimination

So, the wife and I fell down a show hole on Netflix and have been binge-watching Steampunk’d. It’s a pretty neat program that combines building shows with one of my favorite design aesthetics. The set-up is that various steampunk makers in various disciplines are tasked with building themed rooms in…

Where to Find the 5 Best Burgers in Downtown Houston

We’ve covered the East End, and we’re going to continue this burger quest to keep you informed on good burgers and just where to find them. Downtown Houston has burgers for you. Yes, that place where not much happens before 8am or after 5pm. There are varying establishments with styles…

My Band Predicted the Alt-Right a Decade Ago

Twelve years ago I joined a band that was eventually called The Black Math Experiment as co-lead singer. If you’ve heard of us at all, it’s because of the nearly-impossible-to-explain anomaly that was “You Cannot Kill David Arquette.”If you haven’t heard of us, that’s okay, too. There’s a book, if…

New Emails Show Rape Victim’s Mom Never Knew Daughter Would be Jailed

As we noted last week, the jailed rape victim controversy has essentially consumed the race for Harris County district attorney this fall, putting other hot topics we previously predicted (wrongly, it appears) would overtake the race — such as drug diversion policies — in the backseat. The case, involving a mentally ill…

Lafayette’s Blackpot Festival Feels Like Two-Stepping Back in Time

Blackpot Music Festival and Cookoff in Lafayette, LA is an anachronism, but a happy anachronism. Now in its eleventh year, Blackpot is an annual testament to the warm, informal conviviality of Southern Louisiana culture. The festival is a two-day celebration of old-style campground life: the music is lo-fi and unplugged,…

Houston’s 10 Best Concerts in November

SIA Toyota Center, November 4 Fifteen and a half years into her musical career, Australian singer-songwriter Sia Furler finally released a breakthrough album: 1000 Forms of Fear. Produced by a handful of music-industry heavyweights, including Diplo, Fear featured such radio hits as “Chandelier” and “Elastic Heart,” both of which were accompanied…

Paul Schrader’s Dog Eat Dog Never Transcends Pulp Nihilism

Edward Bunker’s novel Dog Eat Dog (1996) kicks off with a disgusting sequence in which a two-bit criminal named Gerald “Mad Dog” McCain — caught up in a cocaine binge that Bunker describes in beat-by-beat detail across several pages — stabs his girlfriend and her daughter to death in a…

With Dog Eat Dog, Paul Schrader Finds Himself Free of all Rules

Dog Eat Dog is like nothing Paul Schrader has ever done before. The director of films as diverse as American Gigolo, Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters, Affliction and Blue Collar (and the screenwriter of Taxi Driver, Raging Bull and The Last Temptation of Christ), Schrader is no stranger to…

Dish of the Week: Tortilla Española

From classic comfort foods to regional standouts and desserts, we’ll be sharing a new recipe with you each week. Find other dishes of the week here. This week, we’re sharing an easy recipe that can be served as a tapa or as an entire meal: Tortilla Española. Tortilla Española—otherwise known…

Despite Rigging Claims, Trump May Be Good for Texas Elections

Donald Trump may win Texas or he might lose it. But either way, it’s clear the Republican presidential nominee has already had an influence on the Lone Star State. Whether it’s a good or bad influence remains to be seen. And then there’s the voting thing. While plenty of people…

Bodies Galore in Bring Up the Bodies at Main Street Theater

The set-up: Let’s see, where were we when last we left this tortuous nest of Tudor tarantulas? The execution: In Bring Up the Bodies, influential Cardinal Wolsey (Rutherford Cravens), stripped of power, has died in disgrace or from too many “purgatives.” Former queen Catherine of Aragon (Kara Greenberg), long banished…

NFL Week 8: Texans 20, Lions 13 — 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Sunday morning, as I made my way up Highway 288 from Pearland, on an otherwise perfect weather day, there was a fog covering NRG Stadium and the Houston skyline. As I got closer to the stadium, around 9:30 a.m., the parking lots were surprisingly quiet and largely empty. As I…

10 Overrated Foods

In our opinion, the fashion statement of food, rather than the actual taste of a certain dish, is what makes a food overrated and trending. (By the way, writing the words “the fashion statement of food” bums us out so hard. Why can’t food just be something that we eat?)…

Charlie Robison’s Pub Fiction Gig Rescheduled for Wednesday

At the moment, Charlie Robison’s November tour dates include a string of real-deal venues like Coupland Dancehall, Masones Saloon, Hank’s Texas Grill, the Halfway House Bar & Grill, and the parking lot at Fort Worth’s Granada Theater for the Texas Chili Fest. A road warrior of the highest degree, Robison…

Ask a Stoner: How Can I Avoid Employment Drug Tests?

Dear Stoner: The holidays are coming up, and I’m thinking about getting a seasonal job for extra income. Something with low responsibility, like retail or working with Christmas trees. I enjoy cannabis recreationally. Do you have any advice on how to surreptitiously find places of employment that do not conduct…

Cougars Overcome Self-Inflicted Wounds to Defeat UCF Knights

How quickly the Houston Cougar bandwagon empties. A loss to Navy, a narrow win over Tulsa, an embarrassing loss to SMU and suddenly TDECU Stadium is half empty for a Saturday morning kickoff against the visiting UCF Knights. Even the student section, usually packed to the gills as soon as…

Shake Shack Announces Friday, November 4 Opening in The Galleria

Shake Shack® fans, if you’ve been waiting with baited breath for Shake Shack to open in Houston, your wait is finally about to end. After months of build-up, which included a hugely popular pop-up event at The Pass & Provisions a couple of weeks ago, the New York-based cult burger…

Believe It or Not, Texas GOP Leaders Still Fighting Marriage Equality

Because Republican state leaders can’t arrive at the conclusion on their own that marriage equality in turn means marriage-benefits equality, they are asking the Texas Supreme Court to please clear up that complicated legal issue for them instead. Even after the high court already decided once that it doesn’t want…

Of Course NFL’s Ratings are Dropping. The Texans Keep Playing in Prime Time

The NFL’s television ratings are down this season. There are some who blame that on the anthem protests. Others about the game being sissified. Some would tell you it’s because of too many commercials leading to too many TD-commercial break- replay review-commercial break-extra point-commercial break-kickoff downed in the end zone-commercial…

Say Good-bye to Video-Looping App Vine With Some of Its Best Videos

If you heard the Internet somehow collectively scream sometime Thursday afternoon, you’re not losing your mind. That was when Twitter announced that it’s shutting down Vine, an app that let users endlessly loop six seconds of video, sometime “in the coming months,” according to a blog post written by Twitter…

White Oak Music Hall Releases Statement Regarding Permanent Stage

A subject of much conversation this week, White Oak Music Hall finally received approval to build a permanent stage this week, but has been forced to move tonight’s concert by Seattle indie-folk troupe The Head & The Heart to Revention Music Center. That appears to be the last show affected…


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