Mary Poppins: This Disney Baby Grew Up Bigtime
In high school in her home state of Florida, Ashley Brown “thought” she wanted to be on the volleyball team. “In the middle of it, I hated it. I hated every minute of it because I was horrible, but my mom made me finish out the year,” she says.She never…
Lonesome Onry and Mean: A New Chuck Prophet Album Is Better Than Christmas
If there is anything that, in all our glorious jadedness, Lonesome Onry and Mean waits for with bated breath besides the next issue of Saint Arnold’s Divine, it is a new album from Chuck Prophet. We expect to receive advance copies of Prophet’s new album ¡Let Freedom Ring!, recorded in…
Outstanding in the Field Dinner at Jolie Vue Farms
The 2009 edition of the Outstanding in the Field series at Jolie Vue Farms took place this past Sunday on a hill overlooking rural Washington County. This dinner was one of 54 stops of the nationwide OITF tour, whose goal is to make farm-to-table dining a reality. But OITF’s own…
ACL Fest Preview: Kings Of Leon – Didn’t Think We Were Going to Forget Them, Did You?
It’s hard to believe that just a handful of years ago, these Tennessee boys were playing a free Camel-sponsored show at Meridian, and now they are not only nearly selling out the Toyota Center a few blocks over for their date next Tuesday, but they are also enjoying the closing…
Beware The North Loop (We Think) This Weekend
TxDOT, do you ever fail in coming up with ways to screw drivers? No, you do not.The agency announced this neat little piece of news this afternoon — from 9 p.m. Friday to 5 a.m. Monday, a nice big chunk of the North Loop and the East Loop will be…
ACL Fest Preview: Them Crooked Vultures – Yes, You’ve Heard of Them Before
Rocks Off is leaving for Austin City Limits earlier than usual this year to catch Them Crooked Vultures at Stubb’s across town off Red River Thursday night. The show at the amphitheater will be the band’s first Texas appearance before they play ACL Friday. Supergroups don’t get any more coma-inducing…
What? Grandfathering In Pollution Isn’t A Good Thing?
Standing under the long shadow of an oversized inflatable coal plant erected this morning in Downtown’s Tranquility Park, members of the Sierra Club and local environmentalists said it’s time for the EPA to put its money where its mouth is and stop permitting coal-fired power plants.This comes on the heels…
Pasadena Woman Creates Novel Way Of Getting Back At Her Common-Law Husband
Ah, Pasadena, land of refineries, illicit slot machines, and creative domestic disturbances.We’ll let the Associated Press, in its trademark deadpan style, tell the story: PASADENA, Texas — Authorities say a Houston-area woman who was burned up at her former common-law husband fried their pet goldfish and ate some of them…
Bayou Beat: Win Two Live Nation Club Passports; Kristine Mills Makes First Grammy Cut; Wheelchair Bandit Menaces the Island; 12-Year-Old Houstonian Makes Largehearted Boy
Sometimes Rocks Off gets distracted and forgets stuff, but better late than never. Live Nation is offering a “Club Passport” good for admission to any show at House of Blues until the end of the year – provided the show is not sold out – for the low, low price…
Another BARC Volunteer Canned After Daring To Offer Criticism
Continuing a pattern perfected while the Bureau of Animal Regulation and Care was still under the auspices of Health and Human Services, another outspoken BARC volunteer has been banned.Interim Bureau Chief Gerry Fusco banned Nela Brown, a volunteer since January 2007, last Sunday over what the Mayor’s Office described as…
Pasadena Woman Creates Novel Way Of Getting Back At Her Common-Law Husband
Ah, Pasadena, land of refineries, illicit slot machines, and creative domestic disturbances.We’ll let the Associated Press, in its trademark deadpan style, tell the story: PASADENA, Texas — Authorities say a Houston-area woman who was burned up at her former common-law husband fried their pet goldfish and ate some of them…
Artist of the Week: Neo-Soul Death Match Participant Michele Thibeaux
Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group “Artist of the Week,” bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn’t awful? Email their particulars to introducingliston@gmail.com. Sadly, we have never had the opportunity to…
Le Plat Déjeuner, S’il Vous Plaît
Photos by Robb Walsh Somebody asked me if Houston had any upscale French-Vietnamese restaurants the other day. This is a popular category in Boston, Chicago and other cities across the country. Given our large Vietnamese population, its odd that Houston doesn’t have such a place at the moment. I told…
UH, Coming Down From An All-Time High And Trying To Keep Focused
The UTEP Miners lost to the Texas Longhorns 64-7 last weekend. The Miners are 1-3 on the season. They are the next opponent for the Houston Cougars.Are the Miners a cause of concern for the Cougars? You bet.”Last year,” Kevin Sumlin said yesterday, UTEP was “0-3 and then their first…
Heckler’s Delight: Eternal Adolescent Punks The Queers
Singer/guitarist Joe “Joe Queer” King is the sole constant in The Queers, a pop-punk concern that’s closing in on the big 3-0 and has shed more members than your dog’s had fleas. As the name suggests, this band is pretty much about acting retarded, girls, acting retarded and girls; did…
Slide Show: GWAR at Warehouse Live – Sticky!
Rocks Off’s stable of reviewers are resting up for ACL now – or they’d better be, dammit – but that didn’t stop intrepid photographer Marc Brubaker from braving the fake blood, ginormous codpieces and everything else GWAR to get scary-good shots like the one above Tuesday night at Warehouse Live…
Classy Dallas Couple Breaks In Jerry Jones’ New Stadium
As if the billion-dollar boondoggle that is the Dallas Cowboys’ new stadium isn’t white-trash enough (“Look at our huge teevee!!”), Deadspin is offering visual proof that the fans are living up to their part of the Redneck Riviera image.Yes, it’s a video of a guy — wearing a Michael Irvin…
Stirred and Shaken: Sawyer Park Sports Bar’s Courtney Cox
The new Washington Avenue scene is advancing eastward, and I went to issue a front-line report at Sawyer Park Sports Bar (2412 Washington Ave., 713-398-8442). Upon entering the brightly lit, sterile downstairs area, I began to miss the dirty old days when the Pig Stand used to, uh, stand where…
Dancing With the Stars: Did Dazzle Survive?
Results! This is the best part of Dancing With the Stars: knowing that there will be two fewer semi-famous people competing next week. Who will I not have to watch? Snowboarder? Model? Donny? No, I bet Donny stays. But everyone else could be eliminated or killed. The suspense, it is…
Dancing With the Stars: Week Two Results
Results! This is the best part of Dancing With the Stars: knowing that there will be two fewer semi-famous people competing next week. Who will I not have to watch? Snowboarder? Model? Donny? No, I bet Donny stays. But everyone else could be eliminated or killed. The suspense, it is…
Opa! It’s the Niko Niko’s Viewing Party
One of Houston’s most beloved Greek restaurants, Niko Niko’s, was recently featured on a yet-to-be-aired episode of the Food Network’s popular show, Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. As mentioned in a previous post, Niko Niko’s was one of seven area restaurants chosen to appear on the TV show throughout the season. One…
Midweek Match-Up: UH Vs. The Texans
It was a huge weekend for Houston football fans — the UH Cougars hosted a nationally televised showdown with Texas Tech, and the Texans had the chance to follow up their solid win against the Titans with a game against the hapless Jacksonville Jaguars.The Coogs came through. The Texans shit…
It’s Witchcraft: Popular Songs About Various Sorceresses
It seems like only yesterday, but it was actually 317 years ago this month that the last people were hanged for witchcraft in the United States. The eight were all convicted defendants in the Salem Witch Trials, proving that Massachusetts – then a province, of course – had a ways…
I Wanna Be Your Dog (Or Cat): Take Your Pick. Please
Although Ben “Crystal Ball” Bernanke says the recession is “likely over,” unemployment is still on the rise, and by now we’ve all heard the stories about laid-off folks having to give up their pets, because they simply can’t afford to take care of them without a steady income. We’re sure…
Unintended Acceleration In A Prius? Toyota Says It’s A Floor-Mat Problem And Issues Recall
Toyota announced today a recall of 3.8 million Toyota and Lexus vehicles, including all Priuses made from 2005 to 2010, because it says the cars have floor mats that can catch the accelerator and cause a crash. It’s the largest recall from Toyota and the first real knock from the…
Tonight: Rocks Off Movie Night Presents the Swayze in Point Break
Tonight Rocks Off salutes the late Patrick Swayze with his 1991 classic bank caper film Point Break, which also stars Keanu Reeves and a shitload of waves. The film starts a little after 9 p.m. upstairs at the Mink as always. Whoah! Point Break is easily one of the best…
A Handy Reminder: Houston Is Not a Human City
Out walking with our kids in the Binz section of the Museum District the other day, we came across one of those random little discoveries that makes you glad you live in Houston, even if it’s allegedly fall and still 90-odd degrees. It was this odd little plaque in the…
The Fattening of Man
The evolution of the burger in a way mimics the evolution of man: The more advanced we are the more fatty we become. It’s not just beef, bread and some condiments anymore. Restaurants keep stepping it up. Red Robin has just revealed the Wise Guy Burger — a stack of…
ACL Preview: Deliciously Dark London Lads White Lies
Once upon a time, not so long ago, three young lads from West London started a band. They called it Fear of Flying, and found a niche in the neighborhood’s “Way Out West” club scene, a promoter’s idea to raise money for a local football club and expose the neighborhood…
The Alabama Theater/Bookstop/Empty Wasteland: Not Dead Yet
The Alabama Bookstop isn’t even cold in its grave yet and it’s getting ready for a reincarnation. And it’s a reincarnation back to its movie-house roots.The Houston Cinema Arts Society is putting together its first film festival, and as part of it there will be….well, something that sounds very arty…
Heavy Metal Mad Libs: GWAR and the Economy
Rocks Off thinks it’s safe to assume that if you’re the kind of person who, say, might read a music blog, then you’ve probably heard of GWAR. Even if you’re not a fan of the ageless Richmond, Va.-spawned group’s blustery metal, you’re probably aware of GWAR’s fondness for Fangoria-type costumery,…
The End Times Come To Sienna Plantation’s Soccer Fields
They put in some ritzy new improvements for the soccer fields in Sienna Plantation, a ritzy suburb in occasionally ritzy Fort Bend County.But they didn’t count on the fire ants. Or the wild pigs.Officials for the youth leagues sent out an e-mail to parents informing them of their futile efforts…
Homemade Breakfast Sausage Recipe
My neighborhood H-E-B was selling family-size packages of assorted pork chops for an unbelievably cheap price the other day. I couldn’t resist picking up a couple. I seasoned some up and froze them in dinner-sized portions. But that still left me with four or five pounds of pork chops on…
Ask a Rapper: Summertime Johnny on Why Gangster Rap Is a Cop-Out
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good- so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask…
Yet Another Tea Party Is Headed Our Way
Be warned: Once again, Houston will become a logic-free zone as the Teabaggers hit town.You want a crazy title? You got one: Tea Party Express II: Countdown to Judgment Day is what they’re calling it, and it all reaches the Bayou City Saturday, November 7. If we use the crowd-counting…
Distant Early Warning: B.J. Thomas, D.R.I., James McMurtry, Metric, Owl City, Punk Bunny, Valient Thorr, etc.
B.J. Thomas: Sun., Feb. 14. Dosey Doe Coffee Company. Bobby Long: Sun., Oct. 11. The Hideaway On Dunvale. Davy Knowles & Back Door Slam: Sat., Dec. 5. Warehouse Live. A Dream Asleep, Skeleton Dick: Sun., Oct. 11. Rocbar. D.R.I., Sinister Minister: Fri., Feb. 19. Meridian. “A Fat Tony XMAS” With…
An Interview With A Lamar High Parent
Norm Uhl, spokesperson for the Houston school district, sent out this e-mail blast today: This week HISD launched Parent Student Connect, an online service that allows parents and students to check their grades, progress reports, attendance, report cards, etc. Before we launched it districtwide, we did a test run with…
$13 at Grum Bar
Where: Grum Bar, 306 Main St., 713-224-6448 What $13 gets you: A solid, manly meal in a manly setting. The Grum Bar interior feels like a comfortable den, and you can be quite at home in jeans and a T-shirt during the workday lunch rush in the heart of downtown…
Take a Little a Whiff on Me: Five Cocaine Songs Listverse.com Forgot
If you check out ListVerse.com, which has a list for any stupid topic anyone can think of, you’ll find a blog titled The Top Ten Cocaine Songs of All Time. Of course, no one knows who decides these issues so crucial to our times, but Lonesome, Onry and Mean thinks…
BARC Gets A Little More Independent
The Mayor’s Office will ask City Council this week to transfer $4.8 million to the newly independent Bureau of Animal Regulation and Care from the Health and Human Services Department.The information came in an “Open Letter to BARC Volunteers and Supporters,” written by Director of Health and Environmental Policy Elena Marks. She…
Five Reasons Why Notre Dame Will Win The BCS And Texas Won’t: Part 4
The last thing we ever want to be in this space is condescending, but when it comes to the Longhorns it’s difficult to not chuckle ruefully and just say “Bless their little hearts.”They try so hard, playing ridiculously overmatched teams at home, and still think they have a shot at…
Somebody Had to Ask: WTF Is Going on With Lily Allen?
Rocks Off wants to know: WTF is going on with Lily Allen? After months of talk that she wanted to quit the music biz, she finally confessed that she did not intend to renew her record contract with EMI. She made the announcement on a blog called It’s Not Alright…
Bread Machine Sourdough
When I was younger, baking bread was a struggle. I could never get the dough to rise. When I figured out that bakers use a proofing oven that keeps the dough hot and steamy, I realized what was wrong. My kitchen was too cold. Jay Francis uses his dishwasher as…
Dancing With the Stars: Week Two, Dazzle Attempts to Maim His Partner
It’s the second week of Dancing With the Stars, and you know what that means: Two more couples will be forced to mate live on the air or else risk being banished to the Phantom Zone. At least, that’s according to ABC’s website. The only thing you need to know…
Dancing With the Stars: Week Two
It’s the second week of Dancing With the Stars, and you know what that means: Two more couples will be forced to mate live on the air or else risk being banished to the Phantom Zone. At least, that’s according to ABC’s website. The only thing you need to know…
Where Are We Eating?
A buffet. A parade of colorful dishes across the wall. An assortment of rice cookers in the back. Can you guess where we’re eating this week? Leave your best guess in the comments section below…
The 10 Reasons Why The Texans Stunk Up The Joint Against The Jags
So apparently the Texans lost another game on Sunday. Apparently people who should know better are surprised by this. And I see the standard excuses are coming out to excuse the loss. But frankly, I did some checking around, and came up with some other ways to explain the loss.10. The…
Aftermath: Insect Warfare at the Mink
Noise has always been a fascination for Aftermath. When we were younger, we had no idea about the great history our city has in relation to the evolution of the musical genre. Forever proudly relegated to outsiders and the obtuse, the clamor manages to grab its fans by the throat…
Pop Rocks: F-Bombs Away
One of the more charming aspects of American culture is our keen sense of prioritization. Take television as an example, where on any given night one can see eviscerations, rapes, autopsies, and more beat-downs than you’d find in the bleachers at an English soccer game. Violence is one thing, but…
Get Lit: To Live Is to Die – The Life and Death of Metallica’s Cliff Burton by Joel McIver
[Ed. note: Sunday was the 23rd anniversary of the fatal bus accident that claimed Cliff Burton’s life.] Cliff Burton’s When the mighty Metallica was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame earlier this year, some were curious about the appearance of a small, grey-haired man who joined the…
Sex for Revenge? Sure
Okay, get ready to have the bejesus scared out of you. David M. Buss and Cindy M. Meston, professors of psychology at the University of Texas, have a new book called Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between). They interviewed more than…
Aftermath: Loggins & Messina, Feelin’ Good Again at the Arena Theater (Plus a Bonus Classic Rock Bob Rant)
The story of Loggins and Messina is that of an accidental partnership made good. At its inception, Jim Messina had already been with both Buffalo Springfield and Poco when he crossed paths with the up-and-coming Kenny Loggins, whose debut record he was given the task of producing and parenting. But…
Pumpkin Man
Truckload after truckload of pumpkins were being unloaded at the Farmer’s Marketing Association on Airline this weekend. Last year, the United States of America produced over a billion pounds of pumpkins. We always buy a couple for jack o’ lanterns for Halloween. But these days, I am more excited about…
Bayou Body Count: Fool Me Once, Shame On You. Fool Me Twice, I’ll Shoot You In The Stomach
On Thursday morning, Gwendolyn Guyton scared her husband for the last time. She and Mitchell Johnson were arguing on the first floor of their home at 7050 Inwood when Johnson walked upstairs to get a few things in preparation to leave. It was then, police say, that Guyton decided to…
Aftermath: The Happy Mondays’ Brit-Rap History Lesson at House of Blues
Especially in today’s economy, Aftermath seriously doubts very many people shell out for concert tickets expecting that show to be full-on awful. But being on the guest list means you’ve got nothing to lose, so even if the show is a dog, all you’re out is a few hours of…
Whirlwind Weekend: See What You Missed
This weekend was a whirlwind of activity, from the stunning University of Houston victory over Texas Tech to the Texans’ crushing loss to the Jaguars, from packed Midtown nightclubs to wine tastings on verdant lawns, from the commercial rock of Staind and Creed to a retro revival at the House…
Aftermath: Ingrid Michaelson and Greg Holden’s Twentysomething Singalong Party at Warehouse Live
Saturday was sing-along with twentysomething girls night at Warehouse Live. English transplant Greg Holden opened the night with a disappointingly brief set, but the lack of quantity certainly didn’t seem to affect him in any way. Genuinely excited to be on tour and onstage, Holden with his raspy tenor and…
The Wine Conference: Say Cheese!
The Italian Cultural Center was fit to bursting on Saturday afternoon with wine and food lovers from across the city. The sold-out Wine Conference featured sessions, classes and tastings with wine experts such as Gary Vaynerchuck as well as an outdoor food and wine expo with some of Houston’s and…
Famous Last Words, Jester Unit Style
Perhaps the most famous last words spoke by a prisoner executed in the U.S. were those uttered by Utah’s Gary Gilmore in 1977, the first man to be put down when capital punishment was re-instututed in 1976. His words were short, sweet, direct: “Let’s do it.” But, until now, we’ve never…
Aftermath: Monotonix’s Orgy of Sweat, Sludge and Short-Shorts at Super Happy Fun Land
When Aftermath first met Israeli sludge-punk overlords Monotonix at SXSW 2008, lead singer Ami Shalev threw the contents of a full garbage can onto the head of his drummer, the Borat-biting Haggai Fershtman. Sometime after that Aftermath also managed to ingest at least a mouthful of Shalev’s sweat as he…
Project Burmese: Rice Cookers For Refugees
The Burmese refugees pouring into Houston face a number of challenges. As detailed in our September 3 cover story (The Burmese Come to Houston), they have precious little time to adapt and find jobs in a sinking economy, and they’re increasingly left to do much of it on their own…
Late Night Scene: 59 Diner
It’s hard not to love a place where everything comes with pancakes. Walking into 59 Diner after a night of partying is like stopping in a recovery room. Everything is bright and blindingly clean, dishes are cheap, big and full of alcohol-soaking carbs, and the waiters have the patience of…
Aftermath: Creed’s Man-tastic Five-Man Dog Whistle at the Woodlands
Creed is the veritable Metal Machine Music of the well-heeled and seasoned hipper-than-thou music listener. You know the kind of person who will throw 17 obscure and forgotten punk bands in your face if you casually mention you prefer the Stiff Little Fingers over the Buzzcocks over a beer at…
Jack Black (Not That Jack Black) Offers Facials for Guys
Alright fellas, we’d like to be serious for a minute: It’s time to talk man things. The 2009 football season is under way, which means a lot of us will be doing some tailgating. Whether it be Sunday morning for the lowly Texans, or it be Saturday evening for the…
Aftermath: Birds of Avalon Heads an Energetic Threesome at Rudyard’s
Aftermath used to have this crazy roommate who scoured small to mid-sized rock venues all over Houston looking for new rock bands to champion to his friends. His favorite locales were Gary’s Spot up in Tomball and Fitzgerald’s, mostly because he knew that these venues would allow him to first…
Yo NBA, We Got Your Social Media Policy Right Hurrr
It’s no secret that the National Basketball Association (the NBA, if you’re nasty) has had its share of notorious digital ups and downs – well, mostly downs, actually – when it comes to social media. Whether NBA players are psycho about their technology or just psycho is a judgment call…
Turning the Screw: ESG, Drake, Sach O & Kid Cudi, Wale, Jay-Z, Rakim, Birdman, The Kanye, Warren G, KB da Kidnapa, etc.
Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off’s weekly round up of rap and hip-hop news. It probably won’t rhyme. Email tips to sheaserrano@gmail.com. Single of the Week: “Smoke On,” ESG Wire to Wire The video for Drake’s harped-on single “Forever” came out. Hype directed it. Watch it or don’t…
Isn’t She Lovely: A Sourdough Is Born
The sourdough I started on Monday is bubbling like crazy now. I fed it three times so far. You usually have to wait a while before your starter develops a good sour aroma, but not when you inoculate it outside with wild yeast. My starter smells like a brewery already…
Texans Follow Success The Only Way They Know How
Even things that appear to be perfect somehow end up wrong in the bizarre world of Houston Texans football. The Texans on Sunday found a new way to lose, putting forth another strong candidate for worst loss in franchise history. And this time, it wasn’t even completely their fault. After…
Aftermath: The Dirty Novels and Reverberation DJs (and the Cops) at the Pachinko Room
Never mind that the Pachinko Room isn’t a room at all. It’s more like a backyard. So when you’re booking an “early show” that “starts at 8 p.m.” but really starts at 10 p.m. you might want to be mindful of noise ordinances. The guys behind Reverberation have been getting…
The Week In TV: Premieres A Plenty!
Last week, most of the new shows of the season rolled out, and I think we all have our new fave: Cougar Town! It’s got laughs and love! Hang on while I go drink some bleach real quick. Okay. Anyway, if you thought all I did last week was watch…
Snackshot: You Never Sausage a Thing
Today’s steaming Snackshot comes to us courtesy of Erika Ray and last weekend’s Houston Hot Sauce Festival. From the photographer’s description: “Crawfish sausage in a pita with sauteed onions. YUM.”…
University of Houston vs. Texas Tech: An Imperfect Win
See photos from the pre-game festivities and the big game over in our slideshows. The Houston Cougars had just stopped the Texas Tech Red Raiders on a fourth and inches at the goal line. The score was 28-23 Tech, and there was just a little over seven minutes remaining in…
Aftermath: Ra Ra Riot Brings Heart and Soul Back to Hipster Nation
Dear Brooklyn: your time has come (you too, Montrose). Hipsters the world over – got some bad news. Your apathy is turning into a grinning dimple, tickling the toes of your pseudo-intellectual pretense named irony. How did this happen, you wonder? With the simple act of naming. The tide’s turning…
Texas Traveler: Sam Houston National Forest
Photos by Brittanie Shey Texas Traveler has written a bit about The Sam Houston National Forest (SHNF) but not yet has she devoted an entire trip to exploring the 160,000 acres of cool shady woodlands 50 miles north of Houston. SHNF is so large that you can get to it…
Live Shots: Creed At Cynthia Woods On Saturday Night
Oh, you best be knowing Aftermath has something to say about this business. Tune in tomorrow morning for some angsty motivational pseudo-Osteen Bono-by-way-of-La-Bare action. For now, read the Twitter feed right over here…
Where Didn’t Monotonix Play Last Night?
Dig on these video of Israeli titans Monotonix playing last night at Super Happy Fun Land. We followed the band from the floor of the venue, to the bathroom of the venue, to the dumpsters, and all the way out damn near the train tracks off Polk. We have a…
Metro Gets Clean Bill Of Civil-Rights Health From Feds
The Federal Transit Administration sent word earlier this week that Metro’s Title VI program has finally been approved and is in full compliance, which, according to Metro, is one more step towards getting the all-important Full Funding Agreement from the feds. Hair Balls has written several things about Metro’s non-compliance…
Shake the Disease: Ailments We’d Like to See These Performers Contract
Most of us have heard by now that Marilyn Manson has contracted the swine flu. What we didn’t know was that so has the guy who plays Ron in the Harry Potter movies, and one of the guys from the Streets. Evidently, they’re all going to be fine, but it…
Food Fight: Battle Mac & Cheese
It was with a heavy heart that we set out to procure the two macaroni and cheese dishes for this week’s Food Fight. As you’ll remember, we asked our readers to tell us their favorite macaroni and cheese in hopes that we would discover some heretofore unknown restaurant serving mac…
“Oh, This Distinctive T-Shirt? I Always Wear This When I’m Robbing Banks”
Photo courtesy FBIYou’ve already robbed a bank and gotten away with it. You’ve got money to get a new t-shirt, don’t you?On the other hand, the very distinctive t-shirt you wore the first time (Apparently manufactured by “Remember Me” T-Shirts: Helping people identify bank robbers for 25 years”) is, it…
Green Chile Chicken Kebabs
The fiery hot chicken kebabs at Chatkhara Grill are made with some kind of green chile, I’m not sure which one. Jalapeño? Serrano? Maybe Tabasco? But whatever kind of pepper the chef is using, this place has the spiciest chicken kebabs I’ve ever eaten. The kebabs are also a ridiculous…
Blink-182, the Gateway Drug of Punk Rock
Say what you will about Blink-182, but the common thread amongst all major pop-punk bands is that they have the inherent effect of being gateway bands – a sort of Fisher-Price “My First Punk Band,” as singer/bassist Mark Hoppus once described Blink at the height of their mania in the…
Trying To Get 1,000 Birds Adopted, Especially Since None Of Them Are As Cool As These
By now, you’ve probably heard about the Houston SPCA’s raid that turned out to be one of the biggest animal rescues in history. Over 1,000 animals were removed, including what was described as a horribly emaciated goat. But it seems that there were more birds than anything. We hope that these…
Cutout Bin: Firm Believer – A Selection of Christian Exercise Records
In the long history of American fitness record albums, the early 1980s was an exceptional period. It all started in 1981 with Jane Fonda’s Workout Book and accompanying video and record. They sold millions. Soon American women from disco hotties to aging housefraus were slipping on leg warmers and packing…
Top 5 Fast Foods That’ll Do in a Pinch
We’ve all been there. Maybe you just landed in an unfamiliar city, and you’re starving and have no idea where to eat. Maybe it’s five in the morning, you’ve got a case of the munchies, and everything is closed except fast food joints. You don’t normally patronize fast food restaurants,…
Off To (Not) See The Wizard, The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz
The Wizard of Oz is celebrating its 70th anniversary this year, and — amazingly — someone’s trying to make some money out of it.New DVD releases, probably new commemorative plates, and movie theaters showing pristine prints of the film on the big screen.What could go wrong? Last night at the…
Listology: Hell City Kings’ Bill Fool’s Chicago Childhood Playlist
Welcome to another in our series of local musicians filling out random lists from the book Music Listography: Your Life In (Play)Lists. Today, Hell City Kings lead guitarist Bill Fool remembers his musical formative years in the Windy City. Budgie, “Breaking All The House Rules”: My dad was a drug…
Houston 101: Townes Van Zandt’s Lost Houston
While Beyonce and Billy Gibbons (not to mention five or ten rappers) have undoubtedly sold more records, we’re betting that neither of them have written anything that will endure as long as Townes Van Zandt’s “Pancho and Lefty,” “To Live’s to Fly,” or “If I Needed You,” or any one…
Houston’s 10 Worst Restaurant Names
A list of Houston’s ten worst restaurants would be, how shall we say, divisive and ugly to say the least. And, really, who needs that kind of karma following her around? But to say that a restaurant has a terrible name? Now that’s just pointing out the obvious. Our sister…
The H-Town Countdown, No. 18: Swishahouse’s The Day Hell Broke Loose
Roughly 84,000 rap albums have been released in Houston since 1989. We’re counting down the 25 best of all time every Thursday. Got a problem with the list? Shove it. Just kidding. Friendship. Email it to sheaserrano@gmail.com. This is the first album we’ve seen on The Countdown that has aged…
Rockets Go Retro In Order To Get More Money Out Of Your Pocket
Do people really think back fondly on any shirts where the color scheme is actually described as “ketchup and mustard”? In Houston, yes. Apparently.The Rockets have introduced an alternative jersey for this year. “Alternative jerseys” are those worn only occasionally, just enough to merit them being sold at remarkably high…
Aftermath: Girl In a Coma at Fitzgerald’s – No Brawling This Time, Just Rock and Roll
Girl in a Coma is back on the road strutting their new tunes from Trio BC, the band’s second CD. Nina Diaz (voice/guitarist), Jenn Alva (bass) and Phanie Diaz (drums), along with their tour manager, have been traveling since the CD dropped in May. It’s just the three of them…
Hockey Season Already? Aeros’ Newest Star is Ready
Difficult as it may be for some to believe, hockey season is fast approaching.The Houston Aeros are currently holding their training camp in Sugar Land, and more and more players are arriving in camp from Minnesota after being sent there by the parent club. Head coach Kevin Constantine returns to…
Get Some Balls
World Food Warehouse on Highway 6 at Beechnut is a good place to go if you’re looking to acquire some balls. They run five dollars a pound if you’re interested and it looks like you get about seven or eight in a pound. Some are a lot larger than others…
Glee, Episode Four: All the Single Ladies
I’d call Glee a guilty pleasure, but I don’t feel bad at all for enjoying such a witty, weird, determined little show. It skillfully walks the line between honesty and theatricality, cutting easily between genuine longing and the kind of arch, intentionally fake details meant to make the show feel…
Dancing With the Stars: Week One Results
I’d really, really hoped that Wednesday’s elimination round of Dancing With the Stars would be simple. It’s only an hour instead of the two for a contest ep; how much could they really do? Dance, count the votes, send a couple people packing, what the hell let’s end at 7:30…
Dancing With the Stars: Week One Results
I’d really, really hoped that Wednesday’s elimination round of Dancing With the Stars would be simple. It’s only an hour instead of the two for a contest ep; how much could they really do? Dance, count the votes, send a couple people packing, what the hell let’s end at 7:30…
The Wonderful Wandas Of Beaumont, Living The High Life (Of Beaumont)
Via the always-entertaining Bayou blog of the Beaumont Enterprise, we have learned of possibly the greatest TV show ever. EVER. (Note: Follow the word “ever” with “to air in Beaumont.”)We cannot see the show, alas, but we did get a sneak peek of it here. It is called Wandas, and…
A Chat with Erin Carter of Strip House
Who says there’s no such thing as loyalty in the world? Walk into the bordello-red bar at Strip House when Erin Carter is working, and you’ll see some of the most ardent regulars in town. “I worked for Ibiza for three years, and a lot of these guys are regulars…
Houston Music Fight Club: Roy Mata (Walter’s) vs. Jon Black (Boondocks), Sound Exchange vs. Black Dog Records
Rocks Off has been so busy this week cramming his fool head full of Creed and blink-182 research ahead of this week’s shows that he nearly forgot about pitting people in imaginary cage matches. It’s seriously hard work listening to “Higher” and “My Own Prison” while looking for clues as…
Pop Rocks: Feel Like (Re-)Making Love
If you’re into recycling, you’re going to love the next few years. Starting this week (Fame) and going into 2012 and beyond, moviegoers will be “treated” to remakes of such movies as The Birds, Fahrenheit 451, The Swiss Family Robinson, The Wolfman, The Karate Kid (rechristened Kung Fu Kid), The…
Society for the Performing Arts: Nobuyuki Tsujii
Classical pianist Nobuyuki Tsujii has never seen his instrument. Despite being born blind, the Japanese 20-year-old is creating a name for himself as a virtuoso. Fresh off a tie for first at the prestigious Van Cliburn piano competition in Fort Worth, Tsujii will perform a selection of Beethoven and Chopin,…
BEST OF HOUSTON® 2009
Lift up that velvet rope for us: The Houston Press just had a birthday. We’re celebrating 21 years on this earth, and we’ve got the Barely Legal Best of Houston® 2009 edition to prove it. So don’t give us any trouble, Mr. Doorman. We’re invading the bars and taking shots…
Best Steak Night
In this city of carnivores, choosing a steak night — by which we mean, a pre-designated night a local tavern fires up the grill outside, not a trip to Fleming’s or Texas Land & Cattle — is as easy as choosing which night of the week you want to eat…
Best Dog Walker
It’s not easy to trust someone to walk, feed and truly care for your furry little four-legged baby while you’re away. But the folks at The Dog Walker, owned and operated by Ben Louis, make it as easy as possible. Fully bonded and trained in pet CPR, Louis, a former…
Best Chiropractor
Who would think that a chiropractor could solve a lingering migraine headache that no other doctor could fix? That’s exactly what happened to a patient of Dr. Philip Cordova, who runs Core Chiropractic — not far from the Galleria — along with his wife Natalie, whom he married the day…
Best Court Ruling
The Texas Court of Criminal Appeals — the Supreme Court for criminal cases in the state — is not exactly made up of flaming liberals, as anyone who’s tried to get a conviction overturned has learned. You wouldn’t think the judges would take kindly to a bunch of out-of-state hippie…
Best Brunch
Dharma Cafe is a homey oasis smack-dab in the rundown industrial area along Houston Avenue that makes up the nexus of Downtown and the Heights. Get away from the hectic noise and the stiletto-heels scene that dominate many high-end Sunday brunch spots and pull up a chair in this unassuming…
Best Local Poet
You get a sense of poet Tony Hoagland’s outlook from the titles of his books (What Narcissism Means to Me and Donkey Gospel) and poems (“Benevolence” and “The Replacement”). His commentary on contemporary life is straightforward, sans flourish. He seems to avoid appearing intellectual when being ironic will do just…
Best Birthday Party Supplies
The Houston Press doesn’t want anything fancy for its birthday party. Just a massive pit barbecue that we have to tow over with our pickup. Then we’ll need some tables and chairs, plates and napkins, and a frozen margarita machine. A hot-dog roll-cart (with sneeze guard), maybe a nacho cheese…
Best Place to Buy Good, Cheap Art
You can buy art and tennis shoes at this year’s winner for Best Place to Buy Good, Cheap Art. Premium Goods has built a reputation for regularly having exhibits of cutting-edge outsider and urban art. (A new show goes up every four months or so.) The artists here (Melinda Mosheim…
Best Local TV Reporter
Phil Archer has become an institution in local news, a guy who’s seemingly been around forever but hasn’t lost the urge to chase down the latest story and do a great job with it. He can take complex governmental issues and make them clear enough for the average Joe to…
Best Vietnamese Restaurant
The last time we ordered jellyfish salad, or “Summer Delight,” the incredibly refreshing summer salad of mixed seafood served with crispy shrimp chips, our waiter at Que Huong (pronounced WAY HONG) told us to try something different. Beef and shrimp watercress salad is better, he said. But it comes with…
Best Sign
For ages, this old-school neon giant has been acting as a sort of oversize bug-light, beckoning dudes who’re down with seeing a little T&A. But even if you’ve never stepped foot inside the strip club, it’s hard to ignore the tacky charm and majesty of a sign that appears to…
Best Place for an After-Work Jog
Go when it’s dark and park your car in the lot at Eleanor Tinsley. Then make your way to the little brick circle on the eastern edge of the lot to stretch with one of the best views of the cityscape around. You can run straight across the grass (there…
Best Gun Range
With the recent surge in gun sales due to the perceived fear that President Obama is “gonna take our guns away,” places like Top Gun near Richmond have been seeing an increase in traffic. They offer a wide array of weapons and ammo that would make a sportsman drool with…
Best BLT Sandwich
A pastry cafe with the best BLT? Really? Yes, really. The folks at Dacapo’s may specialize in sweets, but they certainly kick butt when it comes to savory sandwiches. Piled high on toasted whole wheat bread is the perfect slathering of mayo, lettuce, thick-cut sliced tomatoes and bacon so perfectly…
Best Kebabs
At Phoenicia’s grill counter, there are five varieties of fresh-cooked kabobs available. As an American, you will probably want to order the big beef cubes, lamb chunks or chicken pieces. But the best choice here is the nasty-looking, gray, ground-meat kabobs. The highly seasoned minced meat on the lamb kofte…
Best Cuban Restaurant
It’s always a good sign at a Cuban restaurant when you see actual Cubans eating there. And Cafe Piquet certainly passes the test. Located just west of the 610 Loop, this cafe boasts a large stone patio area and a warm wood and stone interior with photos of Cuban movie…
Harvest Moon Ball
Swing into fall at the Harvest Moon Ball. The Houston Swing Dance Society’s annual bash is a chance for hepcats to strut their stuff and newbies to get into the swing of things. There are for-fun (read: no-prize) contests, performances and lessons in steps from the West and East coasts…
Best Bar
While a never-ending parade of Houston’s best indie-rockers, punks and DJs, plus out-of-town acts of all shapes and sizes (many on their first-ever tour, or playing Houston for the first time), shuffle through The Mink’s aptly-named adjacent Backroom, up front is one of the city’s coziest, least assuming saloons. The…
Best Local Clothing Designer
Houston watched proudly in 2006 as fashion designer Chloe Dao went on Bravo’s hit series Project Runway and, beating out 15 other designers, emerged as the winner. (One guy had rudely dismissed her as a “pattern-maker, not a designer.” He later took home third place for his trouble.) Soft-spoken and…
Best Place to Buy Cigars
It’s worth the drive to Sugar Land to check out Cigar Cigar!, located in the city’s Town Square. The place may seem a bit small, and the hand soaps and lotion for sale are an odd addition, but the roomy humidor is one of the best around. You’ll find all…
Best Band to Get Together in the Last Year
Sometimes a music scene doesn’t even know it’s been missing a band until that band shows up. That was the case back in January, when Roky Moon & BOLT appeared fully formed one chilly evening at Walter’s on Washington. Within about five minutes of going onstage, Moon and friends —…
Best Japanese Restaurant
If you’re looking for sushi, Houston is heavily populated with above-average sushi restaurants. If you’re looking for a good time and fantastic Japanese bar food, Genji is the only show in town. Set to the soundtrack of some serious (and sometimes seriously painful) karaoke, Genji attracts businessmen and twentysomethings alike…
Best Chain Restaurant
It’s all about the ambience, fajitas and margaritas at this famous Houston Tex-Mex institution. The restaurants are dark and homey, with inviting bars that exude that relaxing cantina feel. Start off with a serving of queso and chorizo and then order up a heaping plate of fajitas, piled high with…
Best Adult Video Store
We like to think of Megaplexx North as the “Walmart” of pornography. A destination for perverts and couples the city over, this particular location in the Megaplexx chain takes its name to heart. Toys and strange apparatuses ensconce one section of the store, with a menacing swing as the centerpiece…
Best Original Theater Show
It might seem that life is just too busy to be polite anymore. But don’t tell that to the folks at Main Street Theater, where Steve Garfinkel, along with the Emmy-nominated band Trout Fishing in America, has developed Ps and Qs: The ABCs of Manners. Shaped like a radio show…
Best Dance Performance
Every once in a while, audiences witness a performance that goes beyond being excellent, but that actually moves the art form forward. Such was the case for this year’s Marie, presented by the Houston Ballet. Based on the life of French queen Marie Antoinette, Marie is not the stuff that…
Best Restaurant
Frank Bruni, the restaurant critic of The New York Times, paid his props after a visit to Feast last spring. “It’s a full-on, extended ode to offal that has no real peer in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and other major cities that pride themselves on their epicurean adventurousness,” he…
Best Korean Restaurant
You wouldn’t think of going to a restaurant called Tofu Village for the barbecue — but in fact Korean barbecue is a specialty here. The Korean approach to tofu is nothing short of astonishing. Like the soft and comforting potatoes in the middle of a bowl of fiery curry, or…
Best Jewish Deli
Ziggy Gruber is a third-generation deli man whose family opened the Rialto, the first deli on Broadway, in 1927. After working in a string of Gruber family kosher delis in various NYC suburbs, he opened his own deli, Ziggy G’s in Los Angeles, which became enormously popular. After the Los…
Best Gym
There is a fitness oasis smack in the middle of downtown. The YMCA is well equipped enough, with benches, squat racks and treadmills aplenty, yet somehow devoid of that bane of the typical gym experience: other people. Those who just want to work out and go home can do so…
Best Risotto
There is an art to making the perfect risotto. Cook it too long, and the much-prized al dente texture disappears in a soft mass. Add too much stock, and the dish turns into a soup. Balancing the flavors of saffron, wine, onion and stock is a delicate task indeed —…
Best Sports Radio Talk Show
When we gave John Granato and Lance Zierlein this award last year, their show had only just started. Hell, their station had only just started. Fed up with the corporate stranglehold at KILT 610, Granato convinced investors to start up an independent sports-talk station in a market already crowded with…
Best Hot Dog
Onion Creek specializes in cheap, no-frills comfort food without even having a fryer on site. From the best Frito pie in town to the excellent Freek Dog (that’s a hot dog with a Frito pie on top), an afternoon on Onion Creek’s sprawling wooden deck with a cold beer in…
Best Burger Joint
When Guy Fieri and his Food Network show Diners, Drive-ins and Dives visited Eydie Prior on his trip to Houston, he confirmed what many Houstonians already knew — Lankford Grocery is a treasure. Eydie’s parents started the place as a convenience store in 1939, but it was the hamburgers that…
UH vs. Texas Tech
They grow up so fast. Head coach Kevin Sumlin, in his first year ever helming a team, led the UH Cougars last year to their first bowl victory since 1980. Now the football program faces some ferocious expectations for 2009. The toughest home challenge this season will be UH vs…
Best Pool Hall
There aren’t too many places competing for the Best Pool Hall in town, but among the few, none match up to Slick Willie’s. Houston has about a dozen locations, but our favorite is no doubt the one in the heart of Montrose, where there are more than 20 big, solid…
Best Wine Bar
For amateurs and oenophiles alike, 13 Celsius is a little slice of heaven. And don’t let the Midtown address scare you off; this cozy establishment is thankfully free of the douchiness that plagues many of the area’s bars and clubs. No one will laugh at you if you can barely…
Best Patio
Rasquachismo is a Mexican term (of Nahuatl origin) that roughly translates to “creating the most from the least.” With regards to our flat, relatively featureless natural environment, Houstonians are forced to adopt the principles of rasquachismo, and no place does it better than the Cedar Creek Bar & Grill. Sited…
Best Dentist
No one, except maybe the Bill Murray character in Little Shop of Horrors, likes going to the dentist. So “Best Dentist” doesn’t necessarily mean a place where you’ll enjoy yourself; it just means the utter annoyance of it all will be kept to a bare minimum. And that’s what you…
Best Democrat
Longtime Republican control of basically all countywide offices resulted in a lot of stagnation, good-ol’-boy indifference and a resistance to change. (Note: This would have happened under longtime Democratic control, too.) Nowhere was it worse than in the Harris County Sheriff’s Office, a place entirely distrusted by many minority residents…
Best Tourist Attraction
In showing off our fair city, too many people take visitors to things that can be found anywhere. Every city bigger than Austin has an arts district with pretensions to “world-classiness”; every metropolis has its Galleria equivalent, River Oaks-type district and downtown full of skyscrapers. What Houston has that few…
Best Comedian
They say write what you know, and John Gard is a dork from Houston, so he jokes about Star Wars and the ever-present thick Texas accent of his hecklers. His unique perspective allows him to find an inappropriate angle for any situation, such as why it’s not the best idea…
Best Oil Change
Getting an oil change usually means having to endure some mechanic trying to upsell you on parts or services you don’t need. Not at Shepherd Tire & Auto. These guys do an extremely thorough oil change; they check all your fluids, but it’s not with an eye to spin you…
Best Dance Company
Innovative and daring, the Dominic Walsh Dance Theater rests on the broad shoulders of its founder and namesake, Dominic Walsh. Formerly a principal dancer with the Houston Ballet, Walsh struck out on his own, founding his own company and becoming a highly respected choreographer of contemporary ballets by expanding not…
Best Local Radio Host (Talk)
You may not agree with him, but chances are very good that the guy next to you in traffic is emphatically nodding his head to every word that 740 AM radio host Michael Berry utters. Hell, we only agree with his keen conservative stances but once in a blue moon,…
Best Civil Attorney
Okay, you’ve committed a crime. Quick, check your shirt: Is the collar white? If so, there’s only one attorney in town to contact: Joel Androphy. You may have seen him on TV as a legal expert both locally and nationally, but ironically enough, a lot of his most important work…
Best Pre- or Post-Theater Restaurant
If you want to impress someone with one of the most beautiful views of the Houston skyline, you’d be hard-pressed to find a better place than Michael Cordúa’s showcase restaurant, Artista, on the second floor of the Hobby Center for the Performing Arts. If the view doesn’t impress your guests,…
Best 15 Minutes of Fame
When Hurricane Ike was destroying lives and property in Galveston, one man thought to himself, A-ha! I can use this! And that man was Jacob Calle, although he is probably better known as Hurricane Bear. That’s because he donned a bear costume with a pink bowtie and moonwalked along a…
Best Place for a Pickup Game
“To play here,” reads the plaque on the gym wall, “your game has got to be established, your desire must be proven, and your love for the game had better be pure.” Anyone is welcome on the court during free play, but this is the place that serious ballers —…
Best Chocolate Cake
There’s a reason that The Chocolate Bar has a reputation as a chocoholic’s heaven. From the dozens of flavors of chocolate ice cream to the endless choices of chocolate pies (and hot chocolate to put your grandma to shame), there’s something here for everybody. As long as they like chocolate,…
Best Cobb Salad
It may not be the healthiest salad out there, but it’s certainly one of the tastiest and most famous. As legend has it, the Cobb salad was created in 1937 at the Brown Derby in Hollywood when its owner Bob Cobb was hungry one night and tossed a pile of…
Best Service
Although any one of the four Barnaby’s locations will offer you unrivaled service, the original location — tucked away in a residential area in Montrose off Fairview — still sets the bar. Despite long waits on weekends and occasionally cramped quarters inside (especially when you’re dining at Baby Barnaby’s next…
Everything is Terrible:The Movie
The found-art mavens from the blog Everything Is Terrible have spent years scouring the shelves of thrift stores and video-rental chains to find the worst that VHS has to offer. This summer they cobbled together some of the best footage for their first film, Everything is Terrible: The Movie. The…
Best Concert Food
If they even offer food at all, most Houston music venues couldn’t care less about how that food actually tastes. And true, most people who need something to snack on while watching a band are more interested in soaking up all that booze than in any kind of fine-dining experience…
Best Laundromat
Nothing fancy here — and we appreciate that. It’s $1.25 per load in (often) old machines that can shake like they’re possessed, and three or four quarters in the scalding hot dryers usually gets the job done fast (careful about burning your threads, though). The set-up is drab; the arcade…
Best Local Rapper
Experts call Scarface one of the premier rappers in the country, not just Houston. With new albums out the last three years running (the latest, Emeritus, is rumored to be his last), the 38-year-old South-sider has been going strong for a full two decades. He got his start by helping…
Best Band to Leave Town
It gets frustrating, growing to love a local band and then watching it move on to greener pastures. In Houston, as we all know, that happens to more bands than it doesn’t (though, thankfully, somewhat less so lately). At least indie-twang duo Papermoons had a better reason for decamping for…
Best Indian Restaurant
Anita Jaisinghani earned a PhD in microbiology in her native India before she moved to Houston and changed careers. After working as the pastry chef at Café Annie for nearly two years, she opened the original Indika on Memorial. That restaurant was lauded by The New York Times, Gourmet magazine…
Best Diner
Even though it’s difficult to shake the newness of the new location (which is not so very new anymore), Avalon Diner is still serving up some of the best greasy-spoon food in the city. The place is usually filled with regulars, and the waitstaff has been there for ages. There’s…
Best Photographer
Documentary photographer Ben Tecumseh DeSoto spent 25 years as a photojournalist for the Houston Chronicle. He shot tragedies, historic moments, everyday people and famous faces. These days, photography is still his medium, but his message has changed a bit. Now the award-winning artist is focused on not just capturing the…
Best Dance Club
The people at this gay dance hall like line dancing so much, they’ll teach you for free. Lessons on the spacious wood dance floor (with disco ball overhead) are on the house from 8 until 10:30 every Thursday night, and on the second and fourth Fridays of the month. The…
Best Pawn Shop
With an exterior that probably hasn’t changed much since the place opened in 1955, and right across from regal St. John the Baptist Church, Wolf’s (the apostrophe is a diamond) is an island of old-time Main Street in a sea of drab urban sprawl. Inside, the staff and patrons are…
Best Local TV Anchor
Until fairly recently, news anchors in the Houston market tended to stay in their jobs until full fossilization had set in. Nowadays they seem to change faces quicker than a channel-surfing dude switches channels. Which means Gina Gaston, who was once an utter newcomer, is now a reassuring longtime presence…
Best Chinese Restaurant
Chinese Uyghurs in the far western Xinjiang province were much in the news this year. So we are venturing beyond the usual Hong Kong, Hunan and Sichuan recommendations in favor of Chinese Halal Cuisine on Bellaire. Uyghur fare, with its strong cumin aromas and extensive use of lamb, borrows from…
Best Place to Feel Glad You’re Alive
Unless you’re a psycho bike messenger ninja assassin type, cycling downtown is generally a nightmare. The sidewalks are too clogged with people, not to mention the fact that biking on the sidewalk is against the law in a business district. As for the streets, forget about it. If the SUVs…
Best Skatepark
Southside means different things to most parents and kids. Parents may see it as “the place where emergency room bills and hassles come from,” and young skaters see it as “heaven.” For years now, the venerable indoor skatepark has been servicing the board lust of skate kids in the Houston…
Best Weekend Getaway
Messina Hof Winery, just two hours away, makes for the perfect all-in-one weekend getaway. The Villa Bed and Breakfast has ten luxurious, antique-filled rooms. There are plenty of extras to make your stay special — champagne breakfasts, in-room massages, beds strewn with rose petals and, of course, all the wine…
Best Desserts
While the kitchen can be uneven at Textile, one thing here is always phenomenal: dessert. Under the direction of young pastry chef Plinio Sandalio, the whimsical and utterly beguiling desserts at Textile satisfy a range of palates, from the traditional (a bold chocolate torchon) to the adventurous (sweet potato beignets…
Best Torta
Tortas are hot, and Mexico’s Deli on Dairy Ashford has the best tortas in Houston. That’s because the proprietor once owned a popular chain of torta stands in Mexico City — he relocated to Houston when the peso bit the dust. Mexico’s Deli offers more than 20 variations on the…
Categories We Forgot
Best Alternative Workout Tropa Zumba Best Caribbean Food Reggae Hut Best Chef Chris Shepherd Best Drag Queen Anita Bump Best Free Entertainment Miller Outdoor Theatre Best Frozen Yogurt Sweet Lola Yogurt Best Haunted House Phobia Best Medicine Marijuana Best Sommelier Antonio Gianola Best Source of Funky Cheese Central Market Best…
Strange Fruit: “Swoon!” and “Spheres”
Australian stage company Strange Fruit has no problem performing high – its fusion of dance, theater and circus is done atop ultra-flexible poles that are more than 13 feet tall. Audience members gaze upward at the costumed artists’ hypnotic, bizarrely graceful routines. Strange Fruit’s “Swoon!” and “Spheres,” its first-ever Texas…
Best Festival
Think of it as the little festival that could. Compared to local mega-events like the Houston International Festival and the Bayou City Arts Festival, the Japan Festival is small fry. So why is it our choice for Best Festival? Because, despite its size, Japan Festival delivers a big dose of…
Best Jazz Club
Even if you don’t know Miles Davis from Buddy Miles or John Coltrane from John Legend (or jazz fusion from fusion cooking, for that matter), there’s something about being in a jazz club that automatically makes you feel more, well, sophisticated. The Red Cat Jazz Café, though, offers uptown sophistication…
Best Resurrected Musical Format
Hipsters, it seems, will do just about anything if there’s enough of a retro-kitsch factor involved, which generally boils down to an idea that sounds really, really good when you’re baked. Only a few short years ago, after all, sales and manufacturing of new vinyl LPs were as dead as…
Best Cosmetic Dentist
You might want to don sunglasses before walking into Ronald Konig’s cosmetic dental practice: The smiles there are dazzlingly bright. One patient reports that losing a front tooth — horrifying, yet not uncommon when an old root canal mummifies — was made far less traumatic by Konig and his team,…
Best Greek Restaurant
Although no Greek restaurant in Houston has it all, Yia Yia Mary’s comes the closest. Once you get past the noise and the lack of intimacy, you’ll find the Pappas family serving up some insanely tasty classics, including buttery spanakopita, creamy taramosalata and the ever-popular saganaki. The gyro, which is…
Best Place to Meet Single Women
We’re not saying you won’t meet a nice girl at a Midtown bar, but why not better your odds and fish from holier waters? At Kingdom Builders Center, you might meet a lawyer, local business owner or otherwise impressive-on-the-inside woman whose head is almost certainly in the right place. The…
Best Farmers’ Market
We were as excited as anyone else about the early 2000s boomlet in farmers’ markets all over Houston. Sadly, each of them disappointed us. Yeah, we’re down with the whole “support the American farmer” and “buy local produce” movements, but when all you’ve got are a few tables with piles…
Best Auto Repair
K&H always goes the extra mile. (Pun? What pun?) No matter the issue, owner Markus Drunk makes sure all your needs are met — even if you mention you’re looking for an aftermarket stereo or a late-model, gently used European car. He’s also happy to refer you to equally conscientious…
Best Costume Shop
When Halloween rolls around, or any event when a costume is needed, there are two ways to go. The first is the slut-and-companion method. Slutty nurse and patient. Slutty cop and criminal. That kind of thing. The other route is to get creative, and if that’s the way you roll,…
Best Local Weathercaster
The only time a Houston weathercaster can truly earn his or her stripes is during hurricane season. A trained monkey could give you the forecast eight months a year. After all, how hard is it to say, “It’s gonna be hot and humid and it might rain” over and over…
Best Seafood Restaurant
Bryan Caswell was named one of the 10 Best New Chefs in the country by Food & Wine Magazine this year. He owes much of that honor to the bounty of the Gulf of Mexico. Caswell is a fisherman, and he understands the treasures of the Gulf in a way…
Best Comfort Food
Barbecue Inn has been a Houston favorite since the 1940s, and most of the waitresses appear to have been there just as long. The food itself is long on comfort — the same hearty and delicious chicken-fried steaks and fried shrimp platters that have sustained families eating there after church…
Best Pedal Boats
There might be other places in the greater Houston area to chill on a pedal boat, but they’re probably in wading pools in some sketchy dude’s backyard. Regardless, they wouldn’t be as pretty as the lush, green Hermann Park surroundings anyway. For $8, you get to spend a peaceful 30…
Best Dim Sum
At Fung’s Kitchen, the dumplings are fresher, the seaweed is crunchier and you can get signature killed-to-order seafood items like scallops in their shells straight from the aquarium during dim sum service. You might do a double take when you walk in the door — if it looks like the…
Best Caesar Salad
It looks so simple and elegant: several long leaves of romaine lettuce laid across the plate, coated, not slathered, with a tangy Caesar dressing made fresh just moments earlier. Grated cheese, potato croutons and black pepper round out this traditional dish. On top of it all, just to add some…
Best Milk Shake
Cheeburger, Cheeburger makes a big production out of its milk shakes. There are something like 75 flavors of ice cream, and every milk shake comes with two straws and a spoon. Get the large size and ask for the double chocolate flavor — malted. Then be prepared to have your…
Il Tabarro and Pagliacci
Giacomo Puccini’s Il Tabarro and Ruggero Leoncavallo’s Pagliacci are classics of Italian verismo. The style blew into the opera house near the turn of the 20th century, and the fat lady hasn’t been the same since. The plots and characters in verismo – “realism” – weren’t inspired by actual events…
Best Bar Bathroom
What we love about the bathrooms at the Backroom at The Mink is that upon our last count, there were about four of them. One for men, one for women, one for “whatever” and another mystery head with no designation. It’s fun because when you encounter these signs, depending on…
Best Dry Cleaner
One thing to remember about a dry cleaner: Absolutely no one achieves 100 percent customer satisfaction. There’s just something about clothes and stains and expectations. If you praise an establishment, someone will fire back with a “lost my buttons” story. Eagle Express in Montrose no doubt has its share of…
Hip-Hop Producer
One of the key figures behind the “Dirty South” movement that has taken hold of mainstream rap is an unheralded white guy with a country western background. Mike Dean has helped to craft some of the most unique sounds in rap — from Houston’s Scarface to L.A.’s Kurupt — while…
Best Concert Series
Out-of-towners from northern metropolises like Chicago and New York like to scoff at the idea of Houston as a “real city.” Their claim — which is sadly not without some justification — is that ours is a city of endless concrete, infinite strip mall-sprawl, insipid suburbs, and choked freeways. They…
Best Republican
2008 was a big Democratic year across Harris County — Dems swept out all but a handful of the Republicans who had held all the countywide seats, some of them for years and years. One Republican who survived the wave was County Judge Ed Emmett…and with good reason. Emmett was…
Best Old/New Fusion
When it was announced that wunderkind chef Randy Rucker — known for his daring molecular gastronomy and cutting-edge cuisine at the now-closed Laidback Manor — would be taking over the executive chef position at the supremely old-school Rainbow Lodge, the collective heads of Houston’s food community cocked in bewilderment. But…
Best Artist(s)
Painter/sculptor Patrick Medrano and photographer Katy Anderson were two of the winners of last January’s Mastermind Awards, and we just thought they deserved another win. The married couple conceptualized the Fodice Foundation, an artist residency compound housed in an abandoned WPA school in the East Texas town of Fodice. To…
Best Musical
A musical about two old cat ladies bitching at each other endlessly in annoying accents? Doesn’t sound like a great idea. Even if you toss in the facts that it’s based on a true story, the two eccentric recluses were related to Jackie O, and one dated Joe Kennedy, Jr…
Best Gay Bar
In the shadow of massive, irreverent South Beach and its sparkling, Christmas light-coated palm trees sits the unassuming entrance to the Montrose Mining Company. Inside, there are studly table-dancing cowboys to rival any club in the city, along with pool tables and a long, inviting bar. The chilled out, spacious…
Best Local Magazine
We keep waiting for a local magazine to stand up and snatch this prize away from OutSmart, but it just never happens. Even as the masthead changes from time to time, the quality remains high: smart, insightful features into Houston’s gay past and present, sharp reviews of theater, music and…
Best View
Skyline views are a dime a dozen. To really take in the city’s sweep in all its satanic petrochemical splendor, you need to head over to the Ship Channel area, the engine room of the local economy. It may stink of smoldering benzene and God knows what else over there…
Best Truck Stop Bathroom
If you’re up for about a half-a-day’s drive out of Houston, there’s about a million things to do. There’s the Gulf Coast, the border, New Orleans, the Hill Country and even Dallas. One important component of any road trip is a good truck stop to gas up, stock up and…
Best Urban Nature Spot
Way out west amid the tract developments, strip malls and freeways of Houston’s upper-middle-class suburbia is this hidden sliver of primordial bayou land, where you can wind back the geologic clock to the Cenozoic Era. On a typical hike or bike trip through the park’s 12 miles of Buffalo Bayou-hugging…
Best Day Trip
It doesn’t matter if art, food or music is your thing — Beaumont’s got it. Beaumont’s 1901 Spindletop gusher made ordinary oilmen overnight millionaires and gave birth to the companies that would eventually become Texaco, Chevron, Mobil and Exxon. Over the years, that oil money has benefited Beaumont’s arts community,…
Best Astro
A reporter once questioned the “athleticism” of Philadelphia Phillie John Kruk. “I ain’t an athlete, lady,” Kruk growled. “I’m a baseball player.” Many of the Astros fit that bill — you need look no farther than left field, where Carlos Lee stamps his pasture nightly, to see a classic example…
Best Burger
The 105 Grocery & Deli is located about eight miles southwest of Navasota on Highway 105. Former names include “DK Gen Store, Café, Meat Market, Feed Store” and “B&J.” Whatever it was called, the convenience store has been making burgers for decades. The grill is closed on Monday and Tuesday…
Young Man’s Song
The Poison Pen Reading Series raises its glass to three years of bookish boozing with Dean Young. Our 2008 pick for the Best Local Reading Series isn’t skimping on guests for its third birthday. Young is a name in local poetry circles – grad students and professors think he’s the…
Best Pet Boutique
The melamine pet food scare has made many a dog owner a little paranoid. But you can go natural at Natural Pawz, which offers human-grade food produced in the U.S. or Canada (no, it’s not Soylent Green; it’s just good enough for humans). Our senior dog transitioned to an all-natural…
Best Romantic Hideaway
Everything’s big in Texas — everything except La Colombe d’Or, that is. Billing itself as the smallest luxury hotel in the world, La Colombe has only six suites and a handful of courtyard apartments. There’s also a four-star restaurant and well-appointed bar on-site. The hotel is the former family home…
Best CD By a Local Musician
No static CD could ever match the intensity of one of Little Joe Washington’s live shows, which are one part gospel revival and one part juke-joint boogaloo breakdown, but Texas Fire Line sure comes close. Recorded live in the studio (that sure helps), Fire Line is a frenzied tour de…
Best Veterinarian
It says a lot when you take your doggie back to an animal hospital that fed him poison — only for him to wag his tail, happy to see the staff again. (The poison was a form of arsenic, used to treat advanced heartworms, and the caring crew at Westbury…
Best Spanish Restaurant
Oporto has a great selection of tapas at very reasonable prices, even when happy hour isn’t in effect. And though the name implies Portugal, the menu reflects the spirit of Spain. Spanish and Portuguese wines pair nicely with a diverse list of meats and cheeses. The small plates here are well…
Best Place to Meet Single Men
“But I hate sports!” is what you are saying right about now. You may scoff at going to Minute Park looking for single men because you don’t exactly dig on baseball. But there really is nothing to being an Astros fan. Games can be as good as movies, with moments…
Best Nonprofit Art Series
Pianist Jade Simmons has just one mission in life — to give classical music a new reputation. She’s out to replace the image of a stuffy, staid collection of dead guys in white wigs with fresh, young, cutting-edge artists (herself included). While she’ll say she’s had plenty of help in…
Best Pool Service
Sweetwater Pool & Patio is aces at pool cleaning, repairs or remodeling. Need a pool refinished, but dread the ordeal of draining, refilling and all the horrendous chaos in between? Manager Cesar Tena and his crew sweep in and out, leaving nothing behind but a sparkly, concave pearl of a…
Best Massage Parlor
After a long week at work, an hour on the massage table could be your cure. Finding a masseuse, however, is another matter. Your best bet is to check out Massage Envy, a national chain with 26 locations in Houston. We’re familiar with the store at Buffalo Speedway and Westpark…
Best Local TV News
You’d think, with the way Channel 13’s news broadcasts tend to consistently have solid ratings, that the operation would get talked about more than it does. Channel 11 tends to get kudos for being a serious, relatively sober newscast, Channel 2 gets buzz with wild antics, and Fox and 39…don’t…
Best Enchiladas
Los Dos is tiny. There are a half a dozen tables covered in plastic tablecloths, several booths along the wall, and a six-seat Formica counter in the L-shaped dining room. Breakfast and lunch are booming. Breakfast tacos are 99 cents, and the breakfast specials are $3.25 until ten o’clock. But…
Best Late-Night Restaurant
Often, late-night dining comes down to sheer convenience: Where can you find a place that’s open at 3 a.m. to head that hangover off at the pass or keep you going as you pull an all-nighter? And more often than not, convenience completely trumps taste. At Spanish Flowers, however, neither…
Best Place to Watch Fútbol
How do we know this place is for real? For one, the doors will open at 6 a.m. when necessary for the local fanatics to catch Arsenal and Man U live on the giant projection screen. (Worry not, latecomers: There are enough smaller TVs scattered around to provide every seat…
Best Sushi
A beautifully chic restaurant filled with equally beautiful, chic people, Soma serves up some of the best and most interesting sushi in town. Located along the Washington Avenue corridor, Soma helped make the area “cool” again and inspired an ever-growing number of trendy eatery owners to set up shop there…
Best Macaroni and Cheese
It’s difficult to pick a favorite from the small menu at Beaver’s ever since Jonathan Jones took over as head chef, which is truly a sign of an extraordinary kitchen. But it’s the unassuming macaroni and cheese which shines, and which makes every other macaroni and cheese dish in Houston…
Best Oysters
This is one of the few restaurants in town with a real dedicated oyster bar, as opposed to a bar that serves oysters. Check out the extensive collection of old-fashioned oyster plates hanging on the walls. Magnolia used to be owned by Jim Gossen of Louisiana Foods, the company that…
Houston Ballet: “Without Boundaries”
Houston Ballet’s Artistic Director Stanton Welch sees his shows like meals, which means “Without Boundaries” features an appetizer, entrée and dessert. The program boasts three new ballets for the company, offering a mix of the contemporary and the classic. Whetting the appetite is Falling Angels, a modern piece choreographed by…
Best Bar You Can Still Smoke In
For freedom-loving Americans, the day the fascists on Houston’s City Council passed the smoking ban in bars was a shot to the heart. Sure, sometimes stale nicotine-filled air can be a bummer, but what’s even more of a bummer is when you have a crappy day and just want to…
Best Video Store
Okay, cue that movie trailer voice-over guy…In a world where Netflix and dollar-a-day DVD kiosks seemingly rule the world, one man has the guts to open an independent video store and actually interact with customers. All right, we just had to get that out of our system. The first time…
Best CD Cover
Eli Sebastian Brumbaugh seems like the go-to guy for illustrating Houston’s burgeoning “H-pop” scene. The twentysomething artist and graphic designer, who has also done posters for News on the March and Free Press Houston’s Summerfest, puts the same sort of vivid, vibrant oddness in his artwork as bands like Young…
Best Local Reading Series
The Central branch of the Houston Public Library renovated more than just its building during its recent makeover. Its programming got a new face, too. Most impressive among the current offerings is the An Evening with… reading series. Over the last few months, Houston’s own Katherine Center (Everyone Is Beautiful)…
Best Crime (Charge)
As of this writing, Stanford hasn’t been convicted of any crime, but he’s been charged with a whopper: namely, presiding over an $8 billion Ponzi scheme, making him Houston’s own Bernie Madoff. The eccentric Stanford didn’t spend much time in Houston, preferring the empire he built for himself in the…
Best Breakfast
Known for its Cajun creations, the Sabine River Cafe might not be one of the first places you think of for breakfast. But it should be. Inside this sleek, modern-looking restaurant with wraparound outdoor seating, the kitchen is pumping out simple, flavorful food every morning from 7 to 11. From…
Best Psychic
You usually have to be a psychic to find a good psychic — but we’ve done the legwork for you: Diane Gremmel, a medium who teaches psychic development courses at Edgar Cayce’s Association for Research and Enlightenment Health Center & Spa, really cares about mentoring people. “There’s no such thing…
Best Antiques Spot
Located in the heart of Montrose, this place is a twisting, turning, never-ending trove of antiques and furniture to fit any budget. With the relaxing sounds of Jimmy Buffet and Bob Marley in the background, cruise the aisles past a vast array of sofa tables, mahogany vintage mirrors, English cocktail…
Best Sound System
Really, now: You didn’t think we were going to give Houston’s newest (and priciest) concert hall “Best Drink Prices,” did you? But House of Blues deserves credit where it’s due, and it has due aplenty for bringing in artists who might otherwise skip Houston altogether — legends like Willie Nelson…
Best Liquor Store
How many different ways can you riff on the reasons why Spec’s downtown is the best liquor store in the city? Not many, because the store continues to be the best for the same reason: Whether it’s beer, wine, whiskey, rum or scotch, Spec’s will have it. Almost guaranteed. Not…
Best City Park
What Houstonian isn’t proud of this beautiful, expansive, multifaceted park? Located on a former military camp where soldiers trained for battle in World War I, the park is dedicated to those soldiers’ honor. Today, the park has something for just about everyone — an 18-hole golf course, 2.93-mile jogging trail,…
Best Place for Outdoor Sex
Memorial Park is notorious for its bathrooms where men troll for random sex, but if you’re looking for a quiet spot in the city for a risqué encounter with a significant other — someplace where you’re less likely to get arrested — you can’t beat the Arboretum and Nature Center,…
Best Cheap Seats
There’s a certain kind of shock that comes when you luck into a friend’s great Astros ticket and you look at the price. Fifty bucks? For a single night at the ballpark? But the truth is, you can have yourself a great night at Minute Maid Park and not put…
Best Rocket
Ever since Michael Lewis branded Shane Battier “the No-Stats All-Star” in The New York Times Magazine, the six-foot-eight forward has been one of those guys who is so often called underrated that he might be just a tad overrated. And it’s true. After all, even after both Yao Ming and…
Best Sports Talk Host
We sometimes get some grief for our sports-radio picks: Our Best Show is one that features a lot of raucous humor; our Best Host leans more toward stat-heavy analysis. But Charlie Pallilo offers real insight along with his seeming ability to come up with every ERA since 1935 at the…
Best Crawfish
Owned by a former shrimp and crab fisherman from Seadrift, the Boiling Crab is the most popular crawfish restaurant in Houston and part of a new wave of Vietnamese-style crawfish restaurants that are popping up all over the Little Saigon neighborhood. The first location was opened in Southern California in…
Birthday Bash, Alt-Weekly Style
It’s a time-honored right of passage: Turn 21, get ‘faced and do things your friends will rib you about until you hit retirement age. We know a certain alternative weekly that’s reaching that magic number, and readers are invited to celebrate at Barely Legal: Best of Houston 2009 Party. The…
Best Dive Bar
Whenever we’re at Lone Star, we feel the need to pick at least one song from Bob Seger’s Night Moves, on the juke. Bob’s soulful croon, alternating between tender and downright raunchy, seems like the perfect soundtrack for this downtown watering hole. And we don’t mean “dive” in a bad…
Best Sports Bar
These days, mixed martial arts might be more popular than baseball and hockey combined, but in Texas, football is still king. And there’s no better place to post up and watch a game than Buffalo Wild Wings near Rice Village. The food is better here than at most sports bars…
Best Local Music Blog
We’re not sure where Breakfast on Tour gets its travel budget, but we’re a little jealous. The Houston-based music blog chronicles the cross-country travels of writers Eggs, Toast and Bacon, who don’t miss too many music festivals — or much else. Recently, Breakfast readers have feasted on extensive reports, with…
Best Local Book
Like her protagonist Jessica in Houston, We Have a Problema, author Gwendolyn Zepeda grew up in Houston and works in insurance. But while Zepeda admits to being a little superstitious from time to time, Jessica has made superstition an art form. She often consults the plastic Virgin Mary that hangs…
Best Middle Eastern Restaurant
The food here may be served cafeteria-style, but it tastes gourmet. Diners line up along a sea of troughs stretching along two walls of the restaurant, each brimming with Middle Eastern delights. Pile your plate high with dolmas (grape leaves stuffed with rice, onions and tomatoes), tabouli and baba ghanoush,…
Best Scenic Park
A tangled tale of secret wills, court battles and murder lies behind the birth of this ever-lovelier Midtown gem. Elizabeth Baldwin Park takes its name from the wife of William Marsh Rice, the founder of the nearby university. Just before her death, unbeknownst to old man Rice, Elizabeth drew up…
Best Car Wash
You can get a cheaper wash at Mister Car Wash, but the $19.49 package is worth it for the number the place does on your car. It’s a full-service wash — inside and out — that leaves your ride shimmering clean and, almost more important, spot-free. There’s a quasi-gift shop…
Best Newsstand
Get us into a bookstore — especially one as conveniently located as the new Books a Million in downtown’s Houston Pavilions development — and there go at least a couple of hours down the drain. With an entire wall of publications ranging from The Nation and Mojo to Guns &…
Best Apartment Finder
Jen Payne was with another realty company when we went to her (twice, two years in a row, on opposite sides of the city), but both times she managed to find apartments within our price range that met our expectations and suited our changing needs. We had virtually no problems…
Best Bureaucrat
Heading up the public-health department for the third-largest county in the U.S. is never going to be an easy task, but Harris County brings its own special challenges, like hurricanes and, this year, its seeming to be Ground Zero for the swine-flu pandemic/panic (take your pick). Herminia Palacio handles these…
Best Public Library Branch
Sure, the city has newer and fancier branches with more bells and whistles — the McGovern-Stella Link and Looscan River Oaks libraries come instantly to mind. And while other branches might have more stuff on the shelves, there is something so urban and civilized about the Montrose branch, housed as…
Best Taco Truck
When you pull up to “Taqueria Hecho En Mexico 2,” a carhop in a uniform approaches the driver’s window of your car with an order pad at the ready. Taquitos here are 99 cents and are guaranteed to be 100 percent chilango. (That’s slang for a native of Mexico City…
Best Texan
Eric Winston is the right tackle for your Houston Texans, which normally means you don’t hear a lot about him. But the dude is funny, insightful and outspoken, so he has become a hit on sports-talk stations in town and on the Net. He tweets (“Do you think Best Buy…
Best Whiskey Cocktail
There’s something about ordering whiskey inside of Poison Girl that just feels right. It goes with the blood-red walls and the foreboding metal sheet that rolls down and covers the door and one window during the day, completely obscuring the place along the busy Westheimer thoroughfare. And they do it…
Best Beer Selection
Don’t let the name fool you: The Petrol Station serves much more than just coffee. And although you can get a fine cuppa here, the beer selection is what makes the Petrol Station special. You won’t find Bud Light, but you will find a limited yet remarkable selection of cask…
Best Bloody Mary
It’s hard to beat the Bloody Marys at the Cadillac Bar on Shepherd — that’s because you make them yourself. The Bloody Mary bar is set up during the Cadillac’s elaborate Sunday Brunch buffet. The bartender pours some vodka over the rocks and hands you the glass; then you walk…
Artist Talk: Astronaut/Painter Alan Bean
Any aspiring artiste can set up a bowl of fruit to paint or set up an easel at the beach, but Alan Bean has much more impressive inspiration to draw on – his stroll on the moon. Bean was the lunar module pilot for the Apollo 12 mission – the…
Best Strip Club
The strippers at The Men’s Club are about as sexy as can be desired. But forget about them and head to the amazing all-you-can-eat lunch buffet — for just the $12 cover, it might be the best dining deal in town. A guy in a chef’s hat doles out choice…
Best Clothing Store for Rappers
When out-of-town rap stars find themselves in Houston, their itinerary might include a stop at SF2. Owner Teresa Waldon travels far and wide (okay, mostly New York City and Los Angeles, but still) to get the scoop on what’s hot, and her stores (there’s also a smaller one near Sharpstown…
Best Licensed Plumber
So you’re buying a house, or need someone to check work done by someone else on your digs. Michael Busch, a licensed sewer inspector, has got the camera equipment to ease your mind. He even takes smaller plumbing jobs on a case-by-case basis, with the caveat that he may be…
Best Realtor
For more than 25 years, Houston native Mike Copenhaver has been getting people into homes and leaving behind him a trail of satisfied buyers, sellers and renters. Energetic, honest and deeply knowledgeable about Montrose, Bellaire, West U and other parts of town, he’s become the go-to guy for people seeking…
Best New Development
Despite assurances from booster types that Houston was insulated from the worst effects of the global economic meltdown, the past year was notably slow on the development front, which is why, despite its faults and thus-far unfulfilled promise, Houston Pavilions takes this award in a walk. While we would have…
Best Vegetarian-Friendly Restaurant
There was a time when we couldn’t imagine the Hobbit Hole existing anywhere other than the ramshackle, shire-like house on Shepherd, and we doubted its ability to survive in its new incarnation — The Hobbit Cafe — and new location, on Richmond. Defying expectations, the cozy little restaurant is just…
Best Art Show
Ben Tecumseh DeSoto and Ann Walton Sieber’s photography exhibit “Understanding Poverty” at DiverseWorks was harrowing for its unflinching look at Houston’s homeless. The show chronicled, from the late ’80s to today, the story of Judy Pruitt, a.k.a. “Snow,” an abandoned street kid begging, tricking and stealing to survive, as well…
Best Theater Company
Good things come in small packages — that’s the lesson to take from the short season, only three shows long, produced in 2008-2009 by Catastrophic Theatre Company. Last fall, the company produced two plays by Mickle Maher: The Strangerer, a disturbing story about the bizarre lies and theatricality of political…
Best Department Store Cosmetics Team
Got a big date or speech coming up? Visit the Chantecaille desk at Neiman Marcus. The cosmetics team will wave the gorgeous wand over you. The glamorous but definitely down-to-earth J.R. Johnson and Darlene Gillespie keep customers updated about special complimentary events such as makeovers or facials with them or…
Best Pizzeria
If you believe that pizza should have a crispy crust rolled out as thin as possible with a spare amount of toppings, then the Sugar Land outpost of this Hoboken native might well be your place of worship. Ask the chef to leave the pizza in the coal-fired brick oven…
Best Soul Food Restaurant
This place is a dump, but the cooking is stellar. The wise move is to get your food packed up to go and enjoy it at home. The steam table features melt-in-your-mouth oxtails in brown gravy, fork-tender smothered pork chops, a falling-apart pepper steak in spicy sauce, and Creole meatloaf,…
Best Local TV Commercial
We’re not experts, but we’re pretty sure it’s a sign of great marketing that, if you mention “scrap metal” to a Houstonite, that person will immediately think of $2 bills. Why? Because for thousands of years now, we’ve been exposed to the spastic owner of C&D Scrap Metal — or…
Best Breakfast Taco
It all kicks off early in the morning when the women behind the counter start hand-rolling the softest tortillas in town. You could stuff anything in these velvety creations and it would taste good. Luckily, though, there are more than enough simple yet delicious breakfast creations to sate even the…
Best Gin Cocktail
Although a Louisiana seafood restaurant in River Oaks might seem a strange place to house the best gin cocktail in Houston, that doesn’t stop it from being true. Tony Mandola’s is serious about its gin, from the house-infused jalapeño gin that’s used to make the famous Cajun martinis to the…
Best Wine List
In Houston, a great wine list used to mean pages and pages of old French wines that started at a hundred dollars a bottle and went up to the stratosphere. Today, thanks to the popularity of wine bars, overpriced and overrated labels are out and unknown regions and obscure varietals…
Best Cheeseburger
Often overlooked as a burger mecca due to the lack of tables, this shabby convenience store serves the most impressive cheeseburger in town. It starts with a half-pound, hand-formed patty mounted on an oversized and well-toasted sesame seed bun. Go “all the way” and the adornments include lettuce, tomato, pickles,…
Seven’s Heaven
Forget the Astros – look to the Ensemble Theatre’s production of Seven Guitars for a guaranteed home run. Whenever Ensemble produces any part of August Wilson’s monumental ten-play Century Cycle, you can count on a winning evening at the theater. Set in the late ’40s in Wilson’s beloved Pittsburgh, Guitars…
Best Place to Buy Music
What more can you ask from a record store than free beer and free concerts? Every weekend, Cactus Music offers up heaping cups of suds from Saint Arnold’s and lively, intimate sets from some of the best touring acts in the land. Just this past May, Steve Earle pounded out…
Best Cigar Bar
Downing Street was a little slice of paradise for both cigar aficionados and part-time stogie-smokers even before the fascists on City Council banned smoking in bars; but after that anti-Texan, anti-American chokehold went into effect, Downing Street became even more important. It’s great to have a place like Downing Street,…
Best Band Name
This Houston gypsy-punk outfit sounds just like a southern-fried Gogol Bordello, but without all that pungent Eastern Bloc business. The band’s name stands in stark contrast to its jammy and quaintly morose neo-folk, leading you to believe it would be a gang of blood-swilling metalheads on crank. There are no…
Best Local Film
Moviemaker Shawn Welling stumbled upon a fascinating group of “swamp men” during a bike ride on Bolivar Peninsula. Hunting for a public restroom, he stopped into Norbert’s Bait Camp & Bar. (It was like stepping into the bar scene in Star Wars, he would later say.) Inside Norbert’s, Welling met…
Best Tex-Mex Restaurant
The oldest Tex-Mex chain in Houston is Molina’s, now in its third generation. When the restaurant was founded in 1941, the entire Molina family lived on the upper floor above its first restaurant on West Gray. Mom did the cooking, Dad was the waiter and the kids bussed tables and…
Best Movie Theater
Built in 1939, this historic jewel has so far escaped the clutches of townhouse development that first threatened to destroy it in 2006. The idea was blasphemy to preservationists and folks who just think it’s a damn cool theater. And it is — both aesthetically, and by the selection of…
Best Place to Buy Guns
Chances are, if you buy a lot of guns, you probably have a favorite gun shop, but even if you do, you’ll be doing yourself a favor by checking out Collectors Firearms. The place is stocked full of any pistol, rifle or shotgun you could want and a whole bunch…
Best Nail Salon
There are no garish posters here. Miracle Nails & Spa, near Meyerland, is simply yet tastefully decorated, and your hands will be too. Miracle is spotlessly clean, with cozy and vigorous spa massage chairs and — miracle of miracles — an actual man doing nails. Aaden’s female colleagues – look…
Best Jukebox
Owner Bryan Caswell is a fervent proponent of local music, and when he acquired a jukebox for his slider shack off Montrose, he set out to de-Journey the machine by adding in some of our city’s best indie acts. From the spry indie-pop of Wild Moccasins to the wail of…
Best New Restaurant
Marco Wiles, the owner of Da Marco and Dolce Vita, extends his Westheimer winning streak with his new wine-and-tapas joint. The menu at Poscol might remind you of Mario Batali’s Casa Mono tapas bar in New York, only without the Spanish taverna touches. The interior, which occupies the former location…
Best Atmosphere
The appeal of longtime Heights sandwich shop Carter & Cooley isn’t only in its Bentwood chairs and pressed-tin ceiling, or in the highly polished wood floors and antique scales used to weigh fresh deli meat – it’s in the entire neighborhood. The little shop that was once a drugstore has…
Best Dynamo
If the soccer pitch were an interrogation room, there would be no question about Ricardo Clark’s role: bad cop, with some badness to spare. Clark, the defensive backbone of the Dynamo midfield, is an indefatigable enforcer. While teams from more temperate locales prune in Houston’s humidity, this Georgia native motors…
Best Golf Pro
Whatever your game is, or whether you’re simply trying to get game, Professional Golf Association member Matt Schewe can meet your level. He’s taught Sally Field, Kurt Russell and, well…us. We’ve seen him work with 20-year victims, er, veterans, of golf — and in one case, he got a golf…
Best Aero
Any respectable hockey team needs an enforcer — especially in the minor leagues, where fisticuffs are much of the draw. Luckily for the Aeros (and speedy scorers such as Corey Locke and Krys Kolanos), they’ve got one of the best in six-foot-six ice-boxer Matt Kassian. Like many a good enforcer,…
Best Locally Themed Shots
According to the Press’s own clubs guide, “Chances are if you can clearly remember leaving Big Star at the end of the night, you didn’t actually have a good time at Big Star.” And chances are if you can’t clearly remember leaving Big Star — or remember leaving at all…
Best Shrimp
The late Sam Segari was nuts about shrimp. His restaurant, Segari’s, is run by his daughter now. But the shrimp dishes are still made with U-10s, the largest Gulf shrimp available. The cryptic code means “under ten to a pound” — the actual average size is close to a fifth…
Rob Mungle/Nick Graza
When local comedian Rob Mungle tackles topical issues, he goes after the right wing with liberal fire and brimstone. “I like making [my opinion] known with, shall I say, colorful language and an angry backbone,” he says. But his intention is not to offend – it’s to entertain. “I don’t…
Best Stripper
Julie is not saving money for school. She strips ‘cuz she likes it, and it pays the bills. “I’ll keep stripping until there’s a ring on this finger,” she says. At the notoriously rambunctious Treasures, where, as the deejay announced on a recent Thursday night, “It’s harder to get a…
Best Hobby Shop
Hobby shops have become huge chain stores these days. Rice Village has become a charmless strip of overpriced Gap-like outlets. So it’s a little bit surprising that tear-it-down Houston has a charming old-timey hobby shop, and that it’s in Rice Village. G&G has been around since TV was new (it…
Best Mohawk Technician
Marines, skinheads and head-lice victims all agree: There’s nothing like having your head shaved. The warm lather, the feel of a razor (preferably a straight razor) scraping over your scalp, the sting of the post-shave tonic on your freshly shaved pate — it’s the tonsorial equivalent of a deep-tissue massage…
Best Astrologer
If you’re tantalized by astrology but just a wee bit embarrassed about it, it’s time to take your curiosity out of the realm of gypsies and freaks and go all academic. Enroll in the Houston Institute of Astrology, which is taught by a real college instructor, Kim McSherry, and structured…
Best Twitterer
Twitter has become increasingly important in both social and business circles, a fact that baffles the general public. How could a “micro-blogging service” that seems to be a vast ocean of noise in 140-character segments be so significant? And how does one use it? That’s where Houston-based Dwight Silverman comes…
Best Vintage Record Store
The name on the building isn’t just a nod to the epic Zeppelin riffer; there’s an actual black Labrador in the back room snoozing while his owners hold court for Houston’s vinyl lovers. The little store located on South Shepherd caters to the classic rock vinyl fetishist, with a collection…
Best Museum
Before you step into the Station Museum of Contemporary Art, be forewarned — it ain’t gonna be pretty. It’s going to be glorious and challenging. It might even be life-changing, but it’s definitely not going to be pretty. The Station Museum most often deals with social and political issues, which,…
Best Bookstore
Finding a friendly neighborhood bookstore is a welcome respite from the mega-stores and online warehouses that have become the norm. As it happens, “friendly” and “neighborhood” are two words that describe Blue Willow Bookstore perfectly. It’s as much a gathering place as it is a retail shop. Sure, books get…
Best Convenience Store
Pak’s sells all the convenience-store staples like milk, bread, radiator fluid, candy, smokes, 12-packs of Lone Star and what have you, but the quirky food mart near the border of Midtown and Montrose (a.k.a. the 527 Spur) also has a decent selection of $15-and-under nonrefrigerated wines and a $1.29 coffee-and-pastry…
Best Flack
Spokespeople can be a reporter’s best friend or worst nightmare, and Michelle Lyons is the poster child for the former. Don’t get us wrong — “best friend” doesn’t mean she’s always available to hang out and talk about the Astros; it means she’s always able to provide useful, reliable information,…
Best Cop
There are dozens of ways to measure a police officer’s performance. How many cases closed, how many tickets written — or, as in the case of our winner for Best Cop, Houston Police Officer Julia Christina Oliver, the more intangible quality of personal courage. Oliver has been with HPD for…
Best Coach
Rockets coach Rick Adelman had a great year, leading Houston to the second round of the NBA playoffs for the first time in 12 years. Still, you can’t ignore Katy High School football coach Gary Joseph. In 2007, Joseph led the Tigers to a perfect season, capped with a state…
Best Driving Range
One of the best views in Houston does not require you take an elevator or a helicopter. How can that be, you ask? Grab your Big Bertha and get thee to Wildcat Golf Club. From the driving range, you can see several H-Town high-rises, along with Reliant Stadium, the beautiful…
Best Rum Cocktail
Perhaps it’s a combination of the Spanish decor and slightly tropically tinged atmosphere of Boheme that makes rum the drink of choice here. Or perhaps it’s just the killer mojitos the place turns out day after day to thirsty crowds of art lovers and assorted Montrose rogues. Whether freshly muddled…
Best Margarita
An unlikely location on the ground floor of a medical building in the Museum District hasn’t stopped the young Bodega’s Taco Shop from making a splash in the already crowded Tex-Mex market. The food itself (think upscale Chipotle) is good, but people flock here for the dazzling array of delicious…
Best Bread
El Bolillo, the Mexican bakery across the street from Canino’s on Airline, has got a lot of things going for it. Elaborately decorated cakes, sheet pans of tres leches, and coffee and hot churros for starters. Then there are the crunchy mini-baguettes called bolillos in two sizes, and the soft,…
“Flotsam and Jetsam: Artists Respond to Hurricane Ike”
Around the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Ike, The Arts Alliance of Clear Lake is presenting proof of its recovery in “Flotsam and Jetsam: Artists Respond to Hurricane Ike.” The center sustained considerable damage during the storm but bounced back in time to host this tribute to the Bay Area’s resiliency…
Stages Repertory Theatre: Southern Rapture
Southern Rapture tells the story of a ruckus caused by a little angelic nudity. Eric Coble’s 2009 play, which will make its regional premiere at Stages Repertory Theatre, is set in Charlotte, North Carolina, where a 1997 production of Angels in America caused a tiff between the city’s theater scene…
Best New Bar
Food, booze, music and good friends are really the only things one needs in this life. With all the turmoil going on around our little terrestrial mudball, sometimes it’s imperative we have a place where we forget about the entire clamor of the world. That place has been Community Bar…
Best Happy Hour
“Happy Hour,” in this case, is a misnomer. It should be “Freakin’ Ecstatic Hour.” From 3-7 p.m. on weekdays and 3-6 p.m. on Saturdays, domestic beer is a mere $1.25, and imports (Asahi Dry, Kirin, Kirin Lite) are only 50 cents more. Or if you prefer alcohol of the rice…
Best Band Stage Show
With a revolving lineup of local noise luminaries like Rusted Shut’s Don Walsh and a healthy dose of leather, the ear-melting Homopolice have been the best and weirdest show for the money this past year. Any appearance by bassist Beau Beasley’s brainchild brings out a curious cast of voyeurs and…
Best Film Series
Movie Nights at Domy Books are a varied affair. Films are screened as many as five nights a week and include classics (The Third Man), anime (Akira), horror (Let Sleeping Corpses Lie) and even industrial shorts (The Steel Reef). There are even foreign-language gems (Lemonade Joe) and pop-culture standards (Space…
Best South American Restaurant
Pradaria is a little different from the other churrascarias in town. There’s sushi on the salad bar and a wider variety of rodízio meats. The servers in gaucho costumes come around with the usual rib eye and picanha, the juicy top sirloin that’s doubled over into a C shape on…
Best Movie Theater with Dinner
Okay, so a $3.50 Lone Star isn’t exactly the best price, but you’re not going to Alamo for a bargain; you’re going to spoil yourself. You’re going so you can kick back and watch the latest Harry Potter or Seth Rogen “comedy” while chowing down a burger, fish and chips,…
Best Flea Market
At Traders Village, you can buy a Chihuahua, get your hair cut, drink a beer, arm yourself with nunchakus and a samurai sword, and then buy a dress for a quinceañera. Not to mention, all the friendly vendors are truly the salt of the earth. One image that sums up…
Best Actor
Few characters are as complicated as those built by the mighty brain of Tom Stoppard. Happily, actors as fine as Todd Waite make sure that all that complexity gets translated to the stage. The guiding force of the Alley Theatre’s supercharged production of Rock ‘n’ Roll this past spring, Waite…
Best Spice Shop
Located just across the street from the open-air vegetable market on Airline in the Heights, Lone Star Culinary has more than enough spice to complete any meal. There are troughs of dried chiles, shelves stacked with hard-to-get items like Steen’s cane syrup, and a wall that stretches the length of…
Best Cajun Restaurant
BB’s Cajun Cafe isn’t entirely Cajun. Sure, the oyster poor boy with big, gooey crusted oysters is plenty Cajun. And so are the “Bedtime in the Bayou” shrimp sandwich and the spicy battered soft-shell crab on a roll. But the roast beef and gravy poor boy is pure New Orleans…
Best Firefighters
Sadly, the Best Firefighter title is bestowed posthumously on Houston firefighters James Harlow and Damien Hobbs. The two men died while fighting a blaze last April. Harlow, a 30-year veteran of the department, had been captain of Fire Station 26 for three years. Hobbs, an Iraq war veteran, had begun…
Best Hidden Neighborhood
Back when it was laid out in 1954, Glenbrook Valley was a showpiece suburb, a mod vision of the glorious George Jetson age to come. Better Homes and Gardens even touted one of the six original Glenbrook ranchers as “the model home for all America.” Unfortunately for those who bought…
Best Vegetarian Dish
There was a time when the only thing fit for consumption at Brasil was the coffee. Thankfully, that time has passed. And while the service still has light-years to go before it’s considered passable, the food, at least, is amazing. It’s rare in Houston to find a menu that skillfully…
Best Sports Moment
This has not been a banner year for Houston’s top pro sports teams. The Dynamo failed to win the MLS Championship for the first time in the team’s history; neither the Texans nor the Astros made the playoffs (though at least the Texans appear headed in the right direction); and…
Best Dumplings
What QQ Cuisine (also called “Chinese Cuisine” on the signage out front) lacks in customer service — and it lacks in that area quite a bit — it more than makes up for in food. Often dismissed in the face of its more popular next-door neighbor, Fu Fu Cafe, QQ…
Best Cheap Sandwich
Okay, so the price of the banh mi thit, or Vietnamese sandwich, at Alpha Bakery in the Hong Kong City Mall has gone up drastically. Sandwiches were $1.85 each a couple of years ago with a “buy five, get one free” kicker. Now they are $2.50 each, and there’s no…
Progressive Forum: Brian Greene
The average American, thanks to the haunting memory of high school C’s and D’s, lives in abject terror of the terms “string theory,” “Calabi-Yau manifolds” and “hidden dimensions.” Not only does Columbia University physics professor Brian Greene understand all of this stuff, he’s established himself as one of the best…
Best Vintage Clothing Store
Like going through a dead person’s closet, a trip through this dank, overstuffed resale mecca is both slightly unsettling and morbidly fascinating. Most of the digs are so dated even the hipsters wouldn’t dare to try and pull them off — glittery space boots, flower-power clothes-traptions, blue tuxes, furry vests,…
Best Tobacco Shop
The Briar Shoppe, a perennial Best of Houston® winner in tobacco-related categories, has all the things a tobacco shop is supposed to have: a great selection of cigars in nice humidors, a wall stocked full of pipe tobacco and tobacco for rolling your own cigarettes, and the complete spectrum of…
Best Barber
As the only woman on a large staff in a popular shop in a Fiesta shopping center, where guys in wifebeaters congregate outside in the middle of the afternoon, Nish has to be good. Loyal patrons say her female touch creates a cut like no other. Laid-back and reserved, Nish…
Best Camera Store
This store sells everything a photographer — either a novice or the ultimate pro — could ever need. It’s got new cameras, old-fashioned cameras, tripods, lights and more. It even has its own photo lab for both digital and film processing. But what makes this place an “exchange” is the…
Best Mexican Restaurant
There are a lot of Mexican restaurants in Texas, but there aren’t a lot of ostionerías, or Mexican oyster bars, outside of Houston. And since seafood is what makes the food in Houston great, we figured it was about time to recognize our favorite ostionería, Tampico on Airline. Named after…
Best Chocolatier
Kegg’s has been serving up delicious handmade chocolate crafted right here in Houston for more than 60 years. This place has it all, from chocolate truffles and chocolate-coated nuts to oversize peanut butter cups and fudge. Everything comes in both dark and milk chocolate. And if buying in bulk is…
Best Art Gallery
No one is more dedicated to the maxim “less is more” than Gallery Sonja Roesch. Focused on reductive and concept-based art, the gallery breaks with the pop culture norm and instead shows work by artists who rebel against visual overload. Case in point is German painter Mario Reis, a frequent…
Best Actress
The kvetching character at the center of Clifford Odets’s Awake and Sing! is no walk in the park for any actress — she’s mean, destructive, even cruel. But Luisa Amaral-Smith managed to find the soul of Bessie Berger, the iron-fisted matriarch of the Jewish family Odets created. Bessie is the…
Best Place to People-Watch
Though thankfully Jim Crow ended generations ago, Houston is still often a segregated city, by social class if not by race. One of the few places you can see the 21st-century international mega-city in all its cosmopolitan glory is Hermann Park. There a typical day will find black families grilling…
Best Parade
Distinctly Houstonian in nature, the Art Car Parade is an annual event that the whole family can enjoy. Besides being a paean to outrageous quirkiness, this 22-year-old institution is just plain fun. Plus, having grand marshals like George Clinton and Kinky Friedman is pretty cool, too. Take heed, though: Since…
Best Steakhouse
From the day construction began, Del Frisco’s set out to be the top steak house in Houston. The 13,000-square-foot Galleria location is a copy of the 17,000-square-foot Del Frisco’s in Manhattan. The walls are mahogany, the floors are Brazilian slate and the grand light fixtures are made from Spanish alabaster…
Best Place to Hike
It takes about an hour to drive from downtown to Brazos Bend State Park, but the trip is well worth it, because the park is a great way to burn an afternoon. In fact, you could probably burn an entire week hiking through the park’s 24 miles of trails. A…
Best Bowling Alley
The sights, the sounds, the smells — who doesn’t enjoy a good bowl every now and then? Well, from 8 a.m. until midnight, Sundays through Thursdays, and 8 a.m. to 2 a.m. Fridays and Saturdays, you can get your bowl on at The Palace. Reasonable prices, automatic scoring and kid-friendly…
Best Drink Special
Sure, you can get a drink special at any old bar in town. But only t’afia’s drink specials are made with seasonal, organic produce and Texas wine. And only t’afia’s drink specials come with complimentary appetizers from one of the best kitchens in the city. Tuesdays through Thursdays, you can…
Best Pho
The name of the restaurant is a wordplay on owner Kim Oanh Vu’s middle name. Vu comes from a famous pho family. Her father, Y Van Vu, opened one of the most famous noodle shops in Saigon in the 1960s — it was called Pho Tau Bay. In 1975, the…
Best Bar Atmosphere/Decor
This clapboard East End beer joint might not look like much from the outside, but a surprise awaits those who venture in. A golden Buddha squats in one corner, while paintings of Frida Kahlo and Marilyn Monroe take pride of place on two walls, where they compete with several specimens…
Bocón
The 12-year-old protagonist in Talento Bilingüe de Houston’s production of Bocón has seen more trauma than most adults. When Miguel flees the military regime in his Central American country for the safety of the United States, he loses his parents and his ability to speak along the way. Nevertheless, with…
Best New Club
Like most music venues, Mango’s isn’t strictly new. Plenty of former Houston punks and hardcore kids have fond memories of the vegetarian restaurant’s mid-’90s run as the Oven, and it’s been a staple venue of the resurrected Westheimer Block Party for at least a couple of years. But when Free…
Best Icehouse
We’ve all been to West Alabama Icehouse and Jimmie’s, and fine icehouses they are. But here we’re suggesting one that harks back to the days of the fatally hard-drinking Eagle Pennell’s cult 1983 movie Last Night at the Alamo. Sheffield’s Ice House was founded in 1942 and has been standing…
Best Song About Houston
One lazy Houston afternoon, Umbrella Man bassist Nick Gaitan was sitting upstairs in his apartment on “The Island” at 3700 Main, the South Midtown building that houses the Continental Club, Tacos a Go-Go, Sig’s Lagoon and Shoeshine Charley’s Big Top Lounge. At the time, Gaitan was pulling down shifts at…
Best Film Festival
The Houston Palestine Film Festival focuses on cinema that fights against what organizers call “reductively politicized depictions.” Festival organizers, including the two founders, Houston-based Palestinian-Americans Iman Saqr and Hadeel Assali, present a slate of complicated, often surprising films about their motherland. Dramas, comedies and documentaries are all part of the…
Best Local Blog
Accountant Cory Crow spun off Lose an Eye from earlier blog Isolation Desolation in 2006, and we’re glad. For three years now, Lose an Eye has been — dare we say it? — an entertaining and educational brew of Space City politics and culture, with sharp writing, links to a…
Best Downtown Bar
La Carafe or Warren’s, Warren’s or La Carafe? That is the question. That anything other than one of Carolyn Wenglar’s two venerable Market Square bars is the downtown’s best is a fool’s proposition. Right now we are in a La Carafe mood. We love the candlelight and the stalagmite-like wax…
Best Novelty Store
Besides being one of Houston’s finest record stores — and, with all due respect to Cactus Music, Sound Exchange, etc., the finest when it comes to hard-to-find and out-of-print Houston and Gulf Coast musical memorabilia — Sig’s Lagoon is the place to go when you’re looking for a genuine tiki…
Best Public Dick
The Catastrophic Theatre’s production of the comedy/drama Hunter Gatherers won a rave from our reviewer, but Lee Williams failed to mention Greg Dean’s incredible hard-on, waving around for all to see in the intimate Stages setting. Dean, playing a disturbed ex-jock, had been off-stage for a while before making his…
Best Candy Store
From the outside, this place in Rice Village may not look like a chocolate shop, with its display window filled with toy dolls, but it sure smells like one when you get inside. The shelves are filled with chocolate powders and mixes and oversize glass jars of chocolate-covered coffee beans…
Best Italian Restaurant
For years, Marco Wiles has been delivering uncompromising Northern Italian cuisine to the appreciative masses. Some people have even complained that he is too Italian, with a menu that requires a dictionary to decode. However, his outstanding waitstaff is always ready to lend a hand. With an atmosphere reminiscent of…
Best Cemetery
The idea of “best cemetery” may sound a bit grim, but there’s nothing gloomy about Glenwood. It’s just as much of a tranquil park and beautiful place to visit as it is a spot to bury loved ones. Built in what was then rural Houston in 1871, Glenwood’s graves sit…
Best Place to Walk Your Dog
Wedged between the boarded-up YWCA and Allen Parkway, Spotts Park has the winding sidewalks and leafy trees a good dog walk requires. But the real treat is the freedom to play some good, old-fashioned fetch. Beyond the sidewalks and picnic tables is an expanse of green that’s rarely populated aside…
Best Dog Park
What dog wouldn’t love 17 acres of wide-open space, including large ponds and an agility course? And what dog-lover wouldn’t want to treat his pooch to this canine oasis? If you don’t feel like walking the expansive grounds, you can park on one of the many benches and sit a…
Best Gelato
Marcelo Kreindel’s greatest wish after moving to America from Argentina eight years ago was that he would once again be able to enjoy a gelato like he used to love at home. And four years ago, he decided to make that dream come true. Kreindel founded Trentino Gelato, which has…
Best Empanadas
When Marini’s first opened in Houston back in 1971, empanadas were pretty exotic and the restaurant had a cult following. Marini’s got a lot of hippies hooked on the high-buzz tea called yerba mate. Today, the reincarnation of Marini’s in the Carillon Shopping Center displays lots of photos and articles…
Best Wine Bar Food
Even though executive chef Steve Super left The Tasting Room at Uptown Park this year to helm the newest sister restaurant, Max’s Wine Dive in Austin, the food remains as good as ever. When the Tasting Room expanded a few years back, it opened up space for not only a…
Jill Moser: “Sixteen Street”
It may technically be fall, but it still feels summery inside Wade Wilson Gallery, currently home to “Sixteen Street,” a collection of works on paper by Jill Moser. A painter and drawer who seeks to develop a “rendered visual language,” Moser creates abstract but simple works, often a collection of…
Best Place to Buy Socks
Admit it, one of the best things about American Apparel is the ads featuring scantily clad hipster chicks in big glasses sporting vacant glares. The Los Angeles-based clothing chain caters to the young and irrational, who are more than willing to pay close to $40 for a mere plain white…
Biggest Beer for the Buck
Real Texans drink from goblets, it seems, or maybe the massive glassware at this homey watering hole-in-the-wall is just the only option for holding all that beer. It’s $1.25 for a goblet of Lone Star and 25 cents more for one of Shiner, and two or three should see you…
Best Coffee House
Whether it’s Tweeting its fool head off or hosting a “Geek Gathering,” Coffee Groundz is one damn fine coffeehouse. Ridiculously great coffee, free whiplash Wi-Fi and a wide selection of beer — all CG really needs is a bank of showers and a few cots to fully cover all the…
Best Toy Store
This is where a kid can not only be a kid but be a smart kid, too. The store’s shelves and aisles burst with colorful and fun games aimed at teaching and helping children develop their language, math, science and social studies skills. There are no video games or war…
Best Local Web Site
Though ostensibly a site devoted to local architecture, it’s on the message boards that “the Haif” comes alive. A full range of topics generally (but not exclusively) related to Houston and its building trade are brought to the fore — on a recent day, the hot topics included developments at…
Best Bakery
Nestled between an air-conditioning repair business and an auto garage in an industrial part of north Houston, this pie bakery has been around for more than 40 years for a reason. The owners keep a no-frills shop, prices are low and they make mouthwatering, addictive pies that literally have customers…
Best Student Art Program
FotoFest likes to start them young — as photographers and as fans. Its student art program FotoFence, a Literacy Through Photography project, had 2,500 kids in 22 Houston-area schools producing some surprising results. Working with professional photographers and arts educators, students from fifth through twelfth grades wrote essays and created…
Best Comic Book Store
There are cleaner, more organized comic book stores, sure. There are also cooler ones, which specialize in hipper, more underground comics. But let’s not kid ourselves: A comic book store needs to cater to people who love comic books (it seems so simple), and that’s what Third Planet does, by…
Best Community Newspaper
Too many community newspapers like to portray the places they cover as they would like them to be rather than as they really are. Not so The Seabreeze News. Publisher Gator Miller and Editor Steve Hoyland are muckrakers in the classical sense, and most issues feature investigative reporting of vital…
Best Criminal Defense Attorney
Brian Wice is a shrinking wallflower who all but refuses to blow his own horn. It can sometimes take up to 2.6 seconds for him to leap at yet another opportunity to expound on the law before a camera, whether it’s his regular gig at Channel 2 or any network…
Best Mom & Pop Restaurant
The spicy Middle Eastern food at Cafe Rita is spectacular — eating here is like going over to your Armenian grandparents’ house for lunch. George Sarikhanian, the gregarious cashier/owner, is a friendly bear with a bald head and spectacles. His wife, Rita, is a smiling matron in an apron who…
Best Ike Recovery
Other businesses on the Ike-annihilated (or is it “an-Ike-hilated”?) Bolivar Peninsula reopened sooner than the Stingaree, but none was more symbolically important. The Stingaree is the Peninsula’s social and culinary epicenter, where Bolivar in all its blue-collar glory gathered on the deck to watch the maritime traffic slide past in…
Best Cheese Plate
At Cova, if you order the tapas portion of the artisanal cheese plate, you get to pick four cheeses from a list of 12. If you order the raciones portion, you get four cheeses along with slices of cured meats. The cheeses, listed on the menu as either firm, semi-firm…
Best New Astro
When baseball veteran Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez signed a one-year contract with the Astros back in March, we didn’t know what to expect out of the 37-year-old. We’d just lost longtime backstop Brad Ausmus to the Los Angeles Dodgers, and he was no doubt a key part of our sometime spotty…
Best Tamales
The mushroom tamales at Hugo’s are mind-blowing. Mushroom tamales may sound like an upscale spin on Mexican food, but they’re actually very traditional. Hugo Ortega serves mushroom tamales as a side dish with lamb and makes another kind of mushroom tamal called a zacahuil for an appetizer. The zacahuil is…
Best French Restaurant
This little French restaurant is located on Kirkwood just south of Westheimer, not far from the old location of Bistro Provence, which was owned by the same couple, Georges and Monique Guy. La Brocante means “flea market.” Monique Guy sells old furniture and bric-a-brac out of the space, and there…
Comic Defense and Descendent Pride
Dear Mexican, In Garfield strips in the funny pages that appeared earlier this year, Garfield is wearing a sombrero and taking siestas. While cute and all, isn’t the sort of thing that we have been striving to stop? What was Jim Davis thinking? Maybe he needs a refresher course in…
Fix Your Face
Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker has had plenty of side gigs over the years. Box Car Racer and +44 also featured other Blink members, while the duo TRV$DJAM included his friend Adam Goldstein. Known as DJ AM, Goldstein, who was with Barker in a Learjet crash that killed four people in…
Long Reach
Sonny Landreth’s 30-plus year career has taken him from sleeping on pool tables at Houston’s legendary Gold Star Studios to flights to London to play with Dire Straits’ Mark Knopfler. Yet as the world’s most innovative slide guitar player reflects on his career, he takes the good and the not-so-good…
Old Faithful
Though the decade seems to have fallen out of favor with the people that make those ironic T-shirts for Urban Outfitters, the ’80s were a proper good time. All kinds of important stuff happened. Nintendo was introduced, single-handedly if momentarily making Mike Tyson a demigod to an entire generation, The…
Food Fight and Common Decency
Spaced City Food Fight! (Maybe) Houston foodies choose sides in radio war By Richard Connelly Cleverley Stone is a Houston food institution. Of sorts. For some, she’s a lively, well-informed foodie who offers great discounts and tips on her blog, on a weekly radio show on CNN 650 AM (Proposed…
Tone Poem
Set in the bucolic suburbs of early-19th-century London, as fresh and dewy as a newly mowed lawn, Jane Campion’s Bright Star recounts the love affair between a tubercular young poet and the fashionable teenager next door. It’s more conventionally romantic than wildly Romantic — but no less touching for that…
Second Life
Jia Zhangke is one of the world’s preeminent filmmakers, an essentially contemplative director whose considerable talent is further amplified by the significance of his material — namely, everyday life in the most dynamic economy on earth. Jia’s last feature, Still Life (2006), was set in Fengjie, an ancient river city…
Don’t Like the Conditions in Jail?
What Happens in Jail… Take a tour: In reading Randall Patterson’s September 8 article “Jail Hell,” one would think he’s writing about a Soviet-era gulag. The unsanitary conditions and brutal treatment of inmates he describes at the Harris County Jail would be outrageous if they existed. They do not. By…
Remarkable Rendang
Ecky Prabanto drizzled some broth on her bakmie ayam, an Indonesian egg-noodle and chicken dish. Here at Rice Bowl II restaurant, the noodles are served with a bowl of soup and meatballs on the side. Ecky squirted the moistened noodles with Sriracha hot sauce and the thick sweet Indonesian sauce…
Exterminated
This column is in no way a mea culpa from the Houston Press to Insect Warfare for what happened at the 2007 HPMA Showcase. But the story is so good it still bears repeating. Insect Warfare plays — or played — grindcore, a subgenre of heavy metal characterized by bellowing…
Giacomo’s Cibo e Vino
When La Mora closed in April 2006, Houston’s community of Italian-food lovers was in despair. Now owner and chef Lynette Hawkins is back, this time with an entirely different concept, called Giacomo’s Cibo e Vino (3215 Westheimer, 713-522-1934). “This is a totally different concept from that of La Mora,” says…
Capsule Art Reviews: “Katy Heinlein: Project Space,” “Sasha Pierce: New Paintings” and “John Sparagana: The Crisis Professionals”, “Carlos Runcie-Tanaka: Fragmento”, “No Zoning: Artists Engage Houston”
“Katy Heinlein: Project Space, ” “Sasha Pierce: New Paintings” and “John Sparagana: The Crisis Professionals” CTRL Gallery has three, count ’em, three great shows at once. Sasha Pierce’s paintings are amazing. At first, they seem like they’re made from pieces of nubby, striped upholstery fabric cut and glued to the…
Surf & Turf Burger at Sawyer Park
Seafood burger: The surf & turf burger ($9.50) at Sawyer Park Sports Bar (2412 Washington, 713-863-9350) is one of those dishes that make you wonder: Why didn’t anyone think of this before? The popular steak-and-lobster combination is transformed here, with a half-inch patty topped with an aioli-based shrimp-and-crab slaw. No…
Butthole Surfers
Any way you look at it, stoned or sober, sellouts or stalwarts, the Butthole Surfers appearing at House of Blues is a weird revolution all by itself. The 25-year-old sultans of strange are booked into plenty of other corporate-type venues on the tour that brings Gibson Haynes and friends home…
RUDYARD’S PINEAPPLE LIFESAVER
Walking up to Rudyard’s (2010 Waugh, 713-521-0521) on a recent weeknight, I felt ready for the day’s second date with futility. The first rendezvous had gone down that afternoon; it included driving around Montrose fruitlessly searching for whoever went into my backyard the night before and swiped my lady friend’s…
Corb Lund
If Corb Lund hadn’t been born a Canadian Viking rancher rodeoing Albertan, he’d probably have been a Texan. His songs have always dealt with horses, cattle, prairies, drilling rigs, poker, liquor and occasionally even women. Lund’s new New West Records album, Losin’ Lately Gambler, is the latest in a series…
The Horrors
Whereas 2007’s Strange House found the Horrors meeting the Cramps and the Ramones halfway while singing about Jack the Ripper, follow-up Primary Colours finds the English youngsters trading in their scrappy verve for atmospheric brooding. Here the Horrors look for inspiration from Suicide, the Jesus and Mary Chain, and My Bloody Valentine — making every track sound…
Superthief
It’s strange to jump-start an airplane off the battery in a pickup truck, but that’s exactly what Joshua Paul Calhoun attempted to do on March 4 of this year when he couldn’t start the engine on a plane he was trying to steal. Hours earlier, just after sunrise, 28-year-old Calhoun…
Monotonix
When it comes to packing bodies into rock clubs, it doesn’t hurt to have a reputation for kinetic live shows. Tel Aviv’s Monotonix is a punk-informed trio amassing a devoted international fanbase thanks to constant touring and a primal, Black Sabbath-inflected cacophony and daredevil delivery. Front man Ami Shalev is…
Capsule Stage Reviews: Mud, On the Town, Waiting in the Wings, Wayside Motor Inn
Mud We are pleased to report there’s new blood in town — theatrical blood, that is — coming at us in the form of Doorman Actors Lab. The small group started with a lovely-looking production of Maria Irene Fornes’s Mud, a lean, dark story about the hopelessness of poverty. At…
Busdriver
One of underground hip-hop’s more challenging artists, Los Angeles rapper Busdriver’s flow is both instinctive and adroit, filled with lightning-fast runs, dazzling flashes of poetry and impressive vocal shapeshifting. He leaps from impish, sing-songy elocution to a half-speed, haunted croon, to a manic attack that’s strangely reminiscent of Mr. Bungle-era…
Site Scavenging
The video monitor shows the Kool-Aid Man wandering through 3-D digital worlds. The smiling red pitcher ambles through desolate urban landscapes, slides down a waterslide in a pristine Alpine landscape, swims under the sea, frowns next to a bloody corpse, interrupts two people screwing, dances to “Come on Eileen” at…
