Nothing ruins a sporting event more than some hack who won’t give the score, or keeps screaming, or gets facts wrong. Here are Houston’s five worst offenders.
5. Clyde Drexler was one of the greatest basketball players the city of Houston has ever produced. As a broadcaster, well, let’s just say that as a broadcaster he was a better coach. Sure, he’s an improvement over Calvin Murphy, but that’s just because he doesn’t waste time talking about cookies.
4. Mark Vandermeer has a great voice. Unfortunately, when he’s broadcasting a game, you get the feeling that he’s more concerned with trying to fit in one of his catchphrases than he is with actually describing the play. You also get the feeling he’d be happier hearing his voice on a SportsCenter highlight than with the Texans winning a game.
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3. Gene Peterson is retiring after this season. And he’s been the only radio voice of the Rockets since the team moved to Houston. And do you know what? In all of that time, the Rockets have never committed a foul. You hate listening to a Rockets game that comes down to the final shot because you’re not going to know what happened – you’ll know a shot went out because he’ll be screaming, but you won’t know who took the shot, from where, or if it swished through the net. But then again, you’re just listening to the game, if you really cared about the Rockets, you’d be at the game, and not listening to Peterson.
2. Calvin Murphy was a dynamic shooting guard for the Houston Rockets in the 1970s. And as a color analyst he wore dynamic suits and talked about cookies. A lot. Cookies this. Cookies that. Kenny Smith may not be able to hit the jumper, but you would never know what’s wrong with his shooting form because Murphy was to busy analyzing his cookies.
1. Milo Hamilton thinks you listen to the Astros because you want to hear him. He thought the same thing when he was with the Cubs, and with the Braves, and with the White Sox, and with the Pirates, and with every other team that fired him during his long career. How he’s lasted here for nearly 25 years is amazing, and very disturbing. Forget about coming into a game late when Milo’s on the radio, because you’ll never hear a score. You’ll be lucky to hear the ball/strike count, or the number of outs, or even who’s batting or pitching. What you will hear about is what Milo had for lunch. Or this great place to eat in Cincinnati. If there’s a guest in the booth, forget about the baseball game, and if the guest is a woman, you’ll be thinking you’re back in the 1950s where sexual harassment was the name of the game. Milo has said he wants to stay with the Astros until 2010 so that he can pass Gene Elston for longevity as the Astros voice. Let’s just say that 2010 can’t get here quickly enough. – John Royal