I’m not well. Every morning for the last ten days, I’ve awoken with an overwhelming feeling of nausea. As the day unfolds, that queasy feeling eventually subsides, only to be replaced by a moodiness which transforms me into a pricklier version of Hilary Clinton (hard to fathom, I know).
At first, I thought I was pregnant, but a quick check of WebMD informed me that apparently people with my particular brand of genitalia can’t bear children. Feeling both relieved and educated, I went in search of other potential explanations for my sad state. And then it hit me: I suddenly suck at picking NFL games.
Yep, after a red-hot first 11 weeks, I’m now officially slumping. No use ducking the obvious. My record over the last two weeks is a horrific 9-23. But now’s not the time to dwell on my piss poor performance. At this point, I’m just hoping tonight’s game offers hope and signals a return to the clairvoyant picks of days gone by. As for the rest of my week 14 breakdown, it will get the treatment it deserves in tomorrow’s column.
(Home team in caps)
Chicago (+3) over WASHINGTON
Count me among those who thought the Redskins would finish the season with a flourish as a tribute to their fallen friend and teammate Sean Taylor. It didn’t happen. Instead, Washington responded by blowing a game to Buffalo, and now the ‘Skins have to battle the Bears just three days after Taylor’s funeral. That’s a tough task if there ever was one.
And, yes, I realize taking Rex Grossman on the road is probably not the best way to snap a losing streak. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to throw up again.
Bears 23 – Redskins 21
- Jason Friedman