Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
MY HUSBAND DOESN'T EVER WANT TO DO ANYTHING
Dear Willie D:
I'm experiencing a case of where opposites attract then mismatch. My husband is an introverted homebody and I'm the outdoors extrovert. When we first met in our early 20's I thought we were perfect for each other. Now I'm not so sure.
I'm annoyed by going to social gathering alone all the time while he sits at home. I used to invite him to everything and ask him to do stuff with me, but I got tired of him saying no. So eventually I just stopped asking. Please tell me what to say to get him off the couch and out of the house.
Oh yeah, this is right up my alley because I'm a homebody myself. One of the things that works for me is when my lady takes the initiative to plan and schedule me to join her -- assuming she's made sure that I don't already have plans.
If you take the proactive-control approach, be careful not to be fussy or critical of your husband. Invite him to somewhere that you believe he will have a reasonably good time. But be selective in scheduling your spouse for activities outside the home. The better time he has, the more likely he'll be to trust you next time.
Whatever you come up with, don't invite him to your friend's house and tell him how well he and her spouse will get along because your friend's spouse is such a great guy -- we hate that.
THE GIRL I'M SEEING IS TOO TALL
Dear Willie D:
I'm 5'8" and my girlfriend is a 6-foot-tall tree. The fact that she is four inches taller than me makes me self-conscious whenever we go anywhere. The societal norm is for the guy to be taller than the girl, so I'm very insecure about my height when standing next to her.
I love her, but sometimes I find myself making jokes about her height to make me feel better about my own. How do I get over this "mountain?"
Lay off the jokes about her height. How would you like it if she made jokes about yours? As long as you put smiles on each other's faces, that's all that matters. When I was 18 years old, I dated a sophisticated woman who was attractive, professionally accomplished, had a great personality, and loved my dirty drawers. But she was two inches taller than me, and even taller in heels, so I broke up with her because I was stupid enough to worry about what everyone else thought.
If I met a woman today that was a couple inches taller than me with all the attributes as her, it would be a different story because I am a secure man who understands that successful relationships have more to do with the size of a person's character than the length of their body. I'm still kicking myself for coming up short on that one.
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
I'M NOT SURE IF HE'S AFTER ME OR MY MONEY
Dear Willie D:
I'm what people today consider a cougar. I'm an attractive 48-year-old woman dating a 29-year-old man. We have a lot in common, always have a good time, and he is surprisingly mature for his age. We have been together for about six months. He is a nice guy, but is always down on his luck. He was in between jobs when I met him, and living with his brother.
Last night he asked me for money to pay for repairs on his car, and it immediately turned me off. Yes we're dating and people who care about each other should try to help one another if they're able to, but it makes my skin crawl when a man asks me for money. I'm the woman, he should be helping me.
He said he would pay me back, but I don't trust it. Am I blowing things out of proportion or is he trying to play me?
If you've been dating your guy for six months and this is the first time he's asked you for anything monetarily, and he knew you were capable of helping him in the past but he didn't hit you up, I would be compelled to give him the benefit of doubt, and say you're blowing things out of proportion. Of course he could have been fertilizing the crops, and waiting on the perfect chance to reap the harvest.
As with a guy who dates a girl, in the future if you aren't willing to help your significant other out of tight spots, including money problems, you probably shouldn't date him. Weigh the pros and cons of being in the relationship. If the pros outweigh the cons, give him the money; if not give it to me.
MY GIRLFRIEND SMOKES AROUND OUR SON. HELP!
Dear Willie D:
I have a 2-year-old son from a previous relationship whom my girlfriend smokes cigarettes in front of all the time. I have told her time and time again that I don't approve of her smoking in the presence of my son. She knows how dangerous secondhand smoke is, but refuses to stop.
Instead she lights up a smoke every chance she gets - when she gets into the car, when she gets out the car, after dinner, on her break at work, before bedtime, while watching a movie at home, etc. I love my girl and I don't want to leave her. What do you suggest I say to her to get her to change her ways before it's too late for us as a family?
By now everyone knows the consequences of secondhand smoke. Secondhand smoke causes many types of diseases and death for exposed children: cancer, lower respiratory tract infections, heart disease and asthma and asthma-related problems in up to 1 million asthmatic children in the U.S. alone.
But here's the good news. Nonsmokers have just as many options to avoid smoke as smokers have to light up. If you love your son like I think you do, your number one job as a father should be to protect him. If that means breaking up with your girlfriend, then that's what you do. I tend to believe that you do what you want to your own body, but protect the innocent; especially the children.
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