Note: God bless them, our friends at Miami New Times music blog Crossfade braved the EDM-infested waters of the Ultra Music Festival this past weekend. Follow their entire exploits over here, but we thought we'd give you a little taste. This article was written by Kat Bein.
Ultra Music Festival is nothing if not gnarly. The beats are gnarly, the people are gnarly, the portable toilets are gnarly. It's stank-face city, bro.
All photos by Kat Bein and Gretchen Schroeder
But even more than the sight of no toilet paper, it's those dirty beats -- dutch, dub, or otherwise -- that make us twist our faces like ancient Japanese samurai paintings.
Because we love a good drop as much as the next fiend, we're paying homage to all of Ultra Music Festival's magical moments with a series of epic bass-face pics. This is exactly what you fools sitting at home missed.
This must have only been a half-drop, because we're only seeing half a tongue.
These beats make Chief Wampum into ugly beast.
Shocked, excited, confused, afraid, bassssss...
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Couples who bass together, face together. Or something.
We asked him to do his best impression of a snake unhinging its jaw.
Feels good, bro. Feeeeeels gooooood.
Here's this dude lookin' not unlike an overly caffeinated gerbil.
More faces on the next page.
The official face of every Florida State fan.
Make sure you don't miss the guy behind him.
For all my ladies, this is how we get buck wild.
Effin' Miley Cyrus ain't got nothin' on this crowd.
A bitch with bite is always tight.
This motherfucker right here, tho.
Hey, guuurl...when can we smoke your headband?.
Chick so cool she coulda walked out of a Whitesnake video.
More faces on the next page.
This is actually the most accurate depiction of the average fan at UMF that you'll ever see.
But what does she do with all three of those tongue piercings?
No doubt, this dude is always the life of the party.
Her der, tern dern fer wert?
He's too bassed to actually look excited anymore.
Captain PLUR sailing the ragin' high seas of sound waves.
Nice hair. Better tongue.
A very bassed bromance.
Pretty sure our brains are broken.
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