Ooh, Beyoncé! I see your potty mouth, and I kinda like it.
Sunday evening, Queen B released a new song on Tumblr, "Bow Down/I Been Down," and there's a mass hysteria a-flowin' from the general public over it, as one would expect. It's freakin' Beyoncé.
I mean, who doesn't love themselves a new Bey track? Well, apparently in this case, a lot of folks.
If you haven't heard the backlash, consider yourself lucky -- for the moment, anyway. It'll be all anyone's talking about this week, thanks to the fact that Bey's lyrics have deviated from her normal nursery rhymes and -- collective gasp for effect, please -- include words like "bitch" and "trick." What was she thinking?
Quite a bit, it seems. The deranged track is full of trap-inspired drum slaps and sireny synth; it's the definition of overproduced, but in a way that only Beyoncé can pull off. She throws in a badass nod to Southern hip-hop on the second half of the track, where her vocals get chopped and screwed.
She even raps about bumpin' UGK and the Geto Boys. Screwston, we should be proud, not offended.
Despite the track's redeeming qualities, it seems that the naughty side of Ms. Fierce isn't yet palatable to the general public, and every conservative has come out of the woodwork to bitch about it. (See? The word bitch ain't so bad.)
The track has been called everything from "troubling" to "misogynistic" and "offensive to women." Critics have even cited the use of "unnecessary swearing" as the source of their woes, to which I say bollocks.
Swearing is never unnecessary, good sirs. I'm also slightly perplexed about the use of "misogynistic" to describe an anthem by a woman, but whatever. I suppose there might be a loophole somewhere.
Is it typical Beyoncé fashion? Hell no. But it ain't bad, and it certainly is not worthy of all the hate. Don't believe me? See below. I've got a list of some ridiculously raunchy lyrics put out by other mainstream lady artists to prove it. (Disclaimer: They aren't THE dirtiest; I refuse to type out anything from Akinyele because, well, gross.)
And to Beyoncé, I say g'head on, girl; the word bitch ain't shit when you see what Lil' Kim can do.
"The Jump Off," Lil' Kim "I got my eye on the guy in the Woolrich coat/ Don't he know Queen Bee got the ill deep throat?/ Uh! Let me show you what I'm all about/ How I make a Sprite can disappear in my mouth"
"Birthday Cake Remix," Rihanna "If you sexy and you know it/ And you ain't afraid to show it/ Put a candle on my motherfucking back baby blow it/ The way you do when you do it like that"
"Beez In the Trap," Nicki Minaj "Bitches ain't shit, and they ain't sayin' nuthin'/ A hundred muthafuckas can't tell me nuthin'/ I beez in the trap, bee, beez in the trap/ I beez in the trap, bee, beez in the trap"
"Shoop," Salt 'N' Pepa "A ho? No, that don't make me/ See what I want slip slide to it swifty/ Felt it in my hips so I dipped back to my bag of tricks/ Then I flipped for a tip, make me wanna do tricks for him/ Lick him like a lollipop should be licked"
"Stuck on Fucking You," Lady Gaga "Baby, you're my liquor/ I'm addicted to you/ So I'll just be stuck on, stuck on fucking you/ Stuck on fucking you"
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See, folks? Quit yer bitchin'. It could definitely be worse.