Date: March 12
Name: Zac Brown Band
AKA: "That band with that guy with that beard"
Genre: Jam country
Best Known Song(s): "Chicken Fried," "Toes," "Colder Weather"
Key Demographic: Ex-Deadheads who chew tobacco; hirsute sensitive types; people who like dogs instead of cats.
Previous HLSR Appearance(s): 2011
Houston Connections, If Any: Like Brown, Rocks Off resolved to rededicate ourselves to following our dreams after the September 11 attacks. Only in our case, the dream was to masturbate in the bullpen of every Major League Baseball stadium.
If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Extended instrumental breaks, Grizzly Adams, a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.
Odds of Wearing a Hat: 10 percent
Because He/She's Bald? More likely because he can't cram one on over that knit monstrosity he's always wearing.
Odds of Onstage Injury:
Odds of Them Playing "All My Exes Live in Texas:" George Strait isn't in their usual repertoire of covers, so call it 15 percent.