Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
MY WIFE WANTS TO WATCH ME HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER WOMAN
Dear Willie D:
For the past several months on and off, my wife has told me she wants to have a threesome with me and her girlfriend. Her friend is really hot, but I'm not sure about sharing our bed with another person. How do you trust someone after something like that?
Three's a Crowd:
Your wife is a freak, and that's okay as long as there are barriers. Be careful, though. It could be a trap to see if you are capable of cheating. If you decide to go through with it, warn her in advance that whatever the outcome it was her idea. That way if she doesn't like how it goes down, she has only herself to blame.
I would recommend that you suggest to your wife that you guys spice up your sex life with a little role-play. Intimately sharing your significant other with another person is not something most people can handle. So if the threesome happens, snap a few pictures of her and the other woman to use as evidence in the divorce proceedings.
WHY IS MY DAD AVOIDING ME?
Dear Willie D:
I'm an 18-year-old girl who lives with my mom and stepdad. My mom and dad have been divorced going on seven years, so I've become accustomed to dual living. I stay with my mom through the week, and until the last few months I had never missed a weekend at my dad's house. But lately he's been acting strange. He's been avoiding my calls, or when he does answer the phone he is quick to get off before we can get into any meaningful discussion.
He has a new girlfriend, but that's never stopped him in the past. I feel like we're drifting apart. I want to ask him what's up, but I can't get him to talk to me long enough. Do you think I should just leave him alone?
Before you exercise that option, cut out the chitchat and get straight to the point. The next time you talk to your dad before he can even pick up the phone good, tell him, "Dad, are you avoiding me?" But don't say it in a combative manner. The lighthearted approach is usually more effective.
Try not to jump to conclusions. He could be having personal issues, in which case you should charge it to his brain, not his heart. If all else fails give him a little space and time. He'll come around.
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
SHOULD I GET A NOSE JOB?
Dear Willie D:
I'm a 23-year-old female and I hate the way I look. My nose is so huge that no matter where I go, when I'm out I feel self-conscious that people are staring at me because of it. The only thing I worry about is that some people who have had the surgery complain of breathing issues while lying down sleeping or trying to sleep.
I don't want to create a problem while trying to get rid of one. What do you think I should do?
You have to decide what's more important to you: getting a new nose, or breathing well. I don't know what your nose looks like, but if I had a regular imperfect nose like most people (which I do), I wouldn't risk it. But if my nose was jacked up to the point where every time someone described me they said, "the dude with the nose," I would probably take my chances.
It's your nose, so you can do whatever you want with it. But be careful with cosmetic surgery; it's addictive. Most of the people who I know that started with trying to perfect one thing became compulsive and kept finding something wrong with their appearance. Now they need surgery to correct the surgery.
On a personal note, I like my nose. It really nose how to boogie.
DOES THIS CONSTITUTE RAPE?
Dear Willie D:
I'm not sure if I was raped or not. Two weeks ago I was at a frat party with some friends from college drinking. The next thing I know I'm lying on the bed in a room with my clothes off, and one of the guys who was in the group of friends I met at the party was standing over me putting his pants on. The day that everything happened was my first time meeting the guy.
Although I recall him being friendly and attractive, nothing about my character would have allowed me to have sex with someone I didn't know. I feel as though I was violated, but at the same time I blame myself for losing control of my faculties by getting drunk. I want to confront the guy, but I don't have his phone number. I can't remember consenting to sex with him. Was this rape?
The law says: rape is a type of sexual assault initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, or where the person is under threat or manipulation, or with a person who is incapable of valid consent. If you were drunk, I would say you were incapable of valid consent. But that's where the line gets blurred.
Millions of women consent to sex while intoxicated every day; oftentimes with their boyfriends and husbands. Were they raped? Of course your situation is unique because you didn't know the guy, and you can't remember anything. Saying that you can't remember giving consent implies that you can't remember not giving consent. Ask your friends what happened and get his name from them. Find him and confront him.
Maybe he'll say something to jar your memory that confirms your suspicions, or that supports consent. I hate that so many young women continue to drink themselves into vulnerable positions, but what I hate even more is the sickos who prey on them. I don't care if a female passes out drunk and naked with her legs wide open lying on a bed of rose petals in an empty room; no man, woman, or child has the right to sexually assault her. Intoxication is not an excuse for rape.
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