Bulls are not to be trusted. They are foul, offensive brutes with no regard for humans. They refuse to man up and allow us to tease them and then stab them with swords. Bullfighting is a noble sport, reserved for only the courageous among us, to attack and kill animals that are shocked and moving on pure instinct.
Not enough music videos have spotlighted mankind’s baser sports, like cockfighting. I could get behind a sweet Beck video in a dank cellar, with a bunch of dudes holding sweaty money and drinking moonshine. There’s even this thing that existed in the 17th century called fox-tossing where you could somehow win prizes by, well, being the person who could throw a fox the highest in the air. It may sound inhumane, but we are also the same species that puts things like Dancing with the Stars on the air. That might as well be a blood sport, right? People are passing out left and right.
This is the new White Stripes video for “Conquest,” from June’s Icky Thump. On a side note, how is it that Meg White can somehow manage to look hot wearing a matador costume? That’s an untapped fetish. Matador chicks. Yowza. You can stick swords in me anytime, Meg.