Porn never sleeps.
You'd think the holy season of baby Jesus and Santa would not be fodder for writers of erotica, both soft-core and not-so-soft-core, but you'd be wrong. Geez, there's probably a subgenre out there of Veteran's Day "romance" novels.
To be sure, Christmas can be romantic, with sincere expressions of love, with running into old flames when you go home for the holidays, with people hoping not to be alone and lowering their standards after a few spiked egg nogs.
Not to mention the pay-for-play head excited wifey gives her husband after getting a red-bowed Lexus.
But the erotica writers of America don't limit themselves to such obvious things. Here are nine examples.
9. This Christmas She Rules, by Jennifer Leland Synopsis:
It's another gloomy Christmas for Pamela Dane. Not only is it the anniversary of a dark period in her life, but all her friends had the nerve to hook up. It's not easy for a female Domme to find a playmate.
8. `Twas a Dark and Delicious Christmas, an anthology Synopsis:
From the keeper of Santa's naughty list, delightful little Elves eager to please, and the sensual love of a toy soldier--the holidays are filled with orgasmic cheer. Where wishes come true, Frosty is itching for a melt-down, fairies and angels are randy to grant your every wish, 'tis the season to be oh, so jolly-filled.
Unwrap your darkest desires...for this is Christmas, and it will never be the same.
7. Jingle All the Way, by Judy Mays Synopsis:
What do you do with a two-hundred-pound stripping Santa who's freezing his jingle balls off? Warm him up and drop him into your hot tub, what else? Then make very sure he's completely thawed out...
6. Hot For Santa, by Lacey Alexander Synopsis:
For Amy Finnegan, playing Santa's elf at the mall has always been a labor of love. This year, though, there's a little extra spice to all things nice--the sexiest Santa she's ever seen, Cole Bradshaw. Watching him with the kids warms her heart. Wondering what his body looks like under that suit heats her fantasies.
5. All She Wants 4 Christmas, by Jessica Lee Synopsis:
It's Christmas Eve, and all Monica Sims wants is for her fiance, just once, to step outside his comfort zone. She loves him, and life is fine in their perfectly planned world. But Monica is ready for more. She takes a risk and shares with him her darkest fantasies: Domination. Submission. Surrendering to the will of more than one man.
4. All I Want For Christmas Is Two Hot Men, an anthology Synopsis:
You'll find Brit M's delightful tale of menage a trois with a secret Santa in The Season of Giving. Follow the wicked imaginations of Inara LaVey and Kilt Kiltpatrick as three college best friends fulfill their wildest fantasies in The Blue Morpheus Inn. And curl up by the fireplace as Trinity Blacio takes you on the wild ride of a Christmas threesome with The Ghosts of Christmas Past and Future!
3. A Kinky Little Christmas, by Gwen Campbell Synopsis:
Bless me father, for I have sinned.
2. Christmas Wishes, by J.P. Bowie Synopsis:
Christopher Fielding has no choice but to spend Christmas with his family in York, away from William MacPherson, the biology professor with whom he has fallen in love.
1. Christmas Stalking, by Selena Kitt Excerpt:
"Nick, please," she begged, sliding her nails down his biceps, over his forearms. "I want you. Please. I want you." Her hands were urgent, tugging, pulling at him. His face was wet with her as he kissed her thighs, her belly.
"Hungry little thing." He gave in to her desperation, sliding one knee between hers, seeking her mouth. She could taste herself on his tongue.
"Yes." She tugged at the last vestige of fabric between them. "Starving." He helped her slide his boxers down his hips and thighs. "I want you to fill me."
"I will," he promised, sliding his hand back down to her mound, grinding his palm there, his fingers playing hide and seek just at the opening of her wet little hole.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!!
Help us come up with some better Rated X-mas titles.