Man, the Christmas season really blows for disbarred attorney Tom Zaratti.
First, on Christmas Eve 2003, he was arrested for possession of child pornography, which ultimately led to a ten-year, $10,000 sentence. But while fortune smiled in the form of early parole, the anti-Christmas spirit came back to bite him in the ass: On December 18 of this year, Zaratti was arrested for "unlawful possession of body armor" by a felon, as well as possession of a "bayonet-type" knife. The items were apparently discovered by at least one parole officer, and members of the Texas DPS criminal intelligence unit.
Hair Balls hasn't been able to figure out exactly what type of "body armor" Zaratti had - he hasn't returned phone calls, and his parole officer was not available for an interview. We haven't heard back from prosecutors, either.
One thing is stunningly apparent, though: Zaratti still sucks at keeping his unlawful activity on the downlow. To wit: this is a guy who took his computer, which contained files such as "Daddy Had Sex With Eight-Year-Old" and "Preteen Blow Job," to Best Buy for servicing in 2003.
The thing is, when the cops subsequently searched Zaratti's house, they found a safe containing about $250,000, which begs the question: Did Zaratti ever say to himself, "You know, I'm sitting on a huge pile of money, and I can easily afford another computer with which to download kiddie porn, but I think instead I'll save a few bucks and take it in to Best Buy. I really don't think they'll notice my 'Ten-Year-Old Orgasm' mpeg"?
Although Zaratti was sentenced for the porn in 2006, he wasn't disbarred until earlier this year -- an action he of course fought against, because he apparently thought he had a leg to stand on. Note to Zaratti: People tend to frown upon child-porn. And the next time you come across a bayonet -- no matter how wicked cool you think it is -- you should probably think long and hard before deciding to buy it. Season's greetings!
-- Craig Malisow