"Sensual, powerful, Biden."
So says The Onion. Vice President Joe Biden has been quite possibly the most-parodied man over the last four years. Gregarious, toothy, and with that "Hey-just-call-me-Joe" air about him, he's been the exact opposite of Obama, who's brains and little fire. Biden, meanwhile, is all emotion. Last month at the Democratic National Convention, he emoted all over the nation amid a spectacularly over-the-top speech involving his semi-creepy unrelenting fealty to Obama.
This sort of brazen confidence and swagger has made Biden a wildly easy target. And so, in honor of tonight's debates between Biden and Paul Ryan, let the parodies begin!
Biden Cancels Hennessy Tour Under White House Pressure: The Onion
Biden had exactly the swagger and international play-boy status the liqueur was after.
Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am In White House Driveway: The Onion
Just a lil' taste: " 'Hey, hot stuff, looking good," Biden told a passing aide in the parody. "Would you know where I could get a little bucket and sponge action? My mean machine needs to be cleaned.'
"After acquiring the necessary washing materials, the bare-chested second-in-command returned to the driveway, where he spent several moments staring in apparent awe at the firebird decal on the hood of his car." Biden Invites Nation's Women To Tax Code Discussion At Private Mountain Chalet: The Onion
Biden tells women to get ready for a night of tax analysis, braised lamb, and Spanish guitar. "The vice president's office distributed an itinerary and it looks like the itinerary does leave much of the night open to: 'Where the night takes us."
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Biden Told To Forget Words "Pink" And "Stink" Altogether For Tonight's Debate: The Onion
The rationale: " 'You know what, given the context of this particular debate and everything, I think maybe it's best to avoid using the words 'pink' or 'stink' at all, and certainly never in the same sentence,' " Joe was told.
"At press time, sources said Biden had assured (him) he would do his best, but couldn't guarantee he wouldn't "pop wood" at some point during the debate."