Today is Cinco de Mayo, which means a lot of people who normally don't drink margaritas or tequila will be partaking of those things.
And there's usually hell to pay.
Especially if you're a white dude or dudess with a group of friends around a bar table. Having membership in a sorority or frat in your past (or present) is also a dangerous indicator of things to come.
What happens through the night can be plotted graphically and with exacting precision, and we have engaged the finest scientific minds to do just that for us.
So check out our chart on The Five Stages of Cinco de Mayo Drunkenness.
And don't say we didn't warn you.