We got a big kick out of KHOU investigative reporter Jeremy Rogalski's story on some of the questionable tactics undercover HPD vice cops have been using in the city's 100-year-war against titty-emporium Treasures.
Our favorite part was the revelation of a police report from May where "officers negotiated for two dancers 'to engage in oral sex with each other.' But instead of arresting them immediately, the cops 'observed the suspects' doing the sex act and 'waited for this to be completed.'"
Mayor Annise Parker told Rogalski that she was "absolutely" sure that two undercover cops watching two strippers eat each other until completion was a terrific use of taxpayer money. We couldn't agree more, which is why we've found some videos that HPD can hopefully use as training videos.
All Holes No Poles #2
You might be wondering why we wouldn't start the training with the first entry (so to speak) in this educational series -- and it's because we feel these officers are experienced enough to skip the preliminaries and dive right in to what AdultDvdExplorer.com calls an "incredible all-girl fuckfest!"
Boston Baby Dolls #10
We think it's important for any police force to learn how their colleagues in other cities are cracking down on hot girl-on-girl crimes. Why not check in with how the Boston Brothers in Blue are doing in their work targeting "100 % real local amateur housewives and hot single women?"
Asian Transsexual Lesbians
We feel HPD undercover officers have to recognize the incredibly diverse underworld of crime they're infiltrating. Sure, as taxpayers, we definitely want them to sit there and watch disinterestedly while two bleach-blonds commit crime, but what about the Asian transsexuals hiding in plain sight? Officers need to be trained to spot all kinds of perps, not just the usual suspects.
Licking Pussy 12 Ways
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to the mission of the Houston Press. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Houston’s stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
There are at least a dozen ways for strippers to engage in this particular nefarious deed, and we want our officers well-versed in every single one of them. For one thing, it would allow them to blend in much easier. An officer could, for example, start off by requesting a "Number Twelve," and then suddenly flip the script for a cool "Number Four."
This one's for the officers who have to infiltrate Treasures' mid-day shift.
We hope these instructional videos will help the brave HPD officers we pay to watch chicks eat each other out in the future.