It's often said that the only creatures capable of surviving a nuclear holocaust are cockroaches and Keith Richards. But Hair Balls would like to add another unkillable entity to that list: Anna Nicole Smith lawsuits.
The Chron reported today the plight of Lyndal Harrington, a local blogger who was held in contempt and ordered to Harris County Jail by a state district judge last Friday. At issue was Harrington's computer: She was ordered to turn it over to the court.
Neil McCabe, the Houston attorney representing Anna Nicole's mother, Virgie Arthur, tells Hair Balls Harrington's computer holds proof that she was part of a conspiracy to spread vicious, untrue stories about Arthur in order to keep her from gaining custody of Anna Nicole's daughter. See, little Dannielynn stands to inherit $88 million. McCabe says Harrington and others worked with Howard K. Stern, who at one time claimed to be Dannielynn's father, to feed false stories to the media. The lawsuit includes a bunch of other people, like Harvey Levin, the head of celebrity gossip site TMZ, which ran one of the stories. (Confused yet?)
Here's the rub: Harrington says her computer, and other property, was stolen in a December home invasion. So therefore, she says, she can't surrender what she doesn't have. But District Judge Tony Lindsay doesn't buy it, which is why she held Harrington in contempt. Lindsay then gave Harrington until July 2 to produce the computer, and Harrington is afraid she'll repeatedly be sent to jail.
Hair Balls asked McCabe what would've helped him believe Harrington's story.
"Maybe go to the trouble of emptying out some drawers onto the floor to make it look more like a burglary," he told us with a chuckle. "And have that happen before the police officer leaves, how about that? Instead, the place was pristine, looking almost like it had just been vacuumed, the officer said. Nothing in disarray."
He also told us, "I've got piles of e-mails that have been turned over to me by third parties -- former members of the conspiracy -- that these fools copied their e-mails to, all bragging about how they're fucking my client over. And some of these other conspirators turned around and came over to me."
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He says that not only was there a conspiracy, but the conspirators weren't very bright: "You sit in your trailer, and you think you can say anything, do anything you want. These people were also working for the lawyers for Howard K. Stern. I've got the e-mails between the lawyers and these people, directing them to send them shit on my client."
Harrington tells us she was never in contact with Stern or his lawyers, or was in any way involved in spreading falsehoods about Virgie Arthur. She also says that the only reason she's being sued in the first place is because McCabe wanted to file suit in Harris County -- and she's the only so-called conspirator to live here.
Harrington also says that she knew McCabe was going to subpoena her computer well before she told police she was robbed, and that if she were going to tamper with evidence, it might have made more sense to claim the computer was damaged during Hurricane Ike. In fact, she says, there would have been plenty of other ways to get rid of the computer without smashing in her door and losing televisions and jewelry.
However this saga unfolds, we just wish the best for Dannielynn - there's one kid who probably could do without the circus and spotlight.