You can't tell the players without a program, the old saying goes, and it goes double for Rice football.
Once a power so established it built the huge stadium that still sits on campus, times have grown leaner for the Owls on the field.
But through it all they (or their opponents) have put out programs for each game, and some of them are....odd. Like these eight:
8. Rice vs. SMU, 1950: No vanilla sex here We've got a kick-dancing, limp-wristed horse with pupils dilated from X, getting ready to receive where it counts. And what he's about to receive doesn't run on no wimpy batteries, either. It's plugged in for full power.
7. Rice vs. TCU, 1935: Subtle product placement "You sure you don't want a pregame cigarette or three to build up your lung endurance, son?"
6. Rice vs. A&M, 1941: This always happens If I had a dime for every time some reporter broke up a pass.....
5. Rice vs. LSU, 1967: The most action-packed telephone picture ever It can be difficult getting a good action shot of players during a football game. Apparently.
4. Rice vs. UT, 1974: A cow with an odd hat fiddles with an Owl's ass Again, our philosophy is "Whatever gets you through the night." So we don't question, as long as it's two consenting adults.
If you can't read what the Owl is saying, it's "I sure could make this a BANNER YEAR, if I could jus' get this steer off my rear and me out of here!" which hip-hop historians say was an important turning point in white rap.
3. Rice vs. Navy, 1967: The Sixties!! It, uh, made sense back then. The designer of this cover went on to create the sets for singers on every `60s variety show on TV.
2. Rice vs. LSU, 1966: So boring. So hypnotically boring A stunning middle finger to the bourgeois Madison Avenue types trying pathetically to appear hip or modern, this 1966 cover is utterly subversive in its defiant refusal to play the "make things look interesting" game demanded by society. Or, possibly, they discovered at the very last second that someone had forgotten to design the damn cover.
1. Rice vs. Texas Tech, 1968: Someone pushed the button Since no one wearing the number 70 would ever be catching a long, high, deep pass, we can only assume this guy is looking up in horror as he realizes World War III has begun and the Russkies have targeted the Rice campus.