We've all been there: you're hankerin' to see some boobs, so you and a friend hop in the Isuzu Rodeo owned by the used-car lot where you work and cruise over to the gentlemen's lounge to scout the talent. At some point, you and your bro-heem decide to get a private dance. But when the ladies hit you up for the $40, you scoff.
"Madams!" you admonish. "My associate and I ordered no such lascivious entertainment!" (Or something to that effect). Next thing you know, you're trying to run over the club's owner in the parking lot. If we only had a nickel...
Jay Allen Fling of Bryan was arrested last week for such an incident, which, according to a College Station police probable cause statement, occurred outside the Silk Stocking Lounge December 28.
According to the statement, Fling and his friend left the club without paying for the private attention. When the bouncer confronted them, the dynamic duo denied they requested the dances.
Enter club owner William Tibiletti, who followed the guys outside and "tried to talk to the two individuals about paying up, but [Fling] got into the driver's seat of the vehicle and closed the door. Tibiletti had been standing just inside the open front passenger door of the defendant's vehicle, advising both of them he would call police if they would not pay."
That's when, cool as a cucumber, Fling allegedly said: "Do what you got to do." He then quickly reversed the tiny little truck, causing Tibiletti to stumble backward.
"Tibiletti then advised he heard the defendant's vejhicle engine rev up and the tires spin. He turned slightly and ovserved the black Isuzu accelerating toward him. Tibiletti did step aside to his right as the vehicle drove past him, striking one of the front awning posts."
College Station police finally got around to arresting Fling last week, charging him with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, i.e., the Isuzu Rodeo. Fling's extensive criminal history includes burglary, larceny, evading arrest, jumping bail, and making a terroristic threat. (He was also charged with assault in 2007, but that case was dismissed).
The important lesson here is that, before you agree to any lap dances, make sure you get a notarized, legally binding contract. Either that, or just try to run over the club's owner.