The clock's ticking on the Valentine's Day hunt, dudes. Do you know what to get?
If you are the owner of a penis, probably not. What guys think are appropriate and acceptable gifts, and what women think are appropriate and acceptable gifts, are seldom the same thing.
How do we know this? Venn diagrams. Those things you learned about back in elementary school, showing two sets via circles which intersected to show items both sets had in common.
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So behold these diagrams of what makes a good Valentine's gift, traced through the various stages of a relationship: