Hey, it's 4/20 day!
Be glad you don't live in Boulder, where the University of Colorado is trying to end the annual massive on-campus celebration of the day by barring any visitors and spraying the quad where it's held with "a foul-smelling fish-based fertilizer on the grass."
Here in Houston, you don't need a special day for The Man to hassle you about weed. But if you choose to partake, you can use some of these bongs honoring movies and shows that never intended to be celebrated by a bong.
What do you think Peter Parker's doing up in his room, Aunt May? The Marley poster should have been a dead giveaway.
13. Star Wars
We for one refuse to believe that any Star Wars fan has ever gotten high. They need to be on their toes for all those debates about whatever the hell they're always debating about.
12. Mr. Potato Head
Hey, you might argue -- this bong is made from the toy that was around a whole lot longer than the Toy Story movies!!
You might be right. You'd also be right if you believed we didn't care.
11. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
These guys ate a lot of pizza, right? There ya go. This one won't be the last cherished childhood memory to be turned into a bong on this list, rest assured.
10. Star Trek
Weed, the final frontier: These are the voyages of the bong Enterprise....
9. Super Mario Bros.
This bong tarnishes game players with the slander that they smoke pot.
8. South Park
Cartman's authoritah must be respected, even if you're blitzed to the tits.
7. Breakfast at Tiffany's
This is a bong slide. Our knowledge of bong technology is limited, but whatever it is, we're sure Audrey Hepburn would be cool with it.
6. E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial
E.T. phone home, and tell them to bring more of this killer shit.
5. Lord of the Rings
This, we're told, is Treebeard, although your grandma will probably assume it's one of the talking apple trees from Wizard of Oz.
4. The Simpsons
We shudder to think what Ned Flanders would think about you getting high-diddly-hi-high.
3. Star Wars again
"Dazed, or confused. There is no 'high.'"
There is a really astonishing amount of effort put into this project. By "this project" we mean collecting vintage TVs, of course.
1. Hello Kitty