Lily Allen is going to be modeling underwear…
Sometimes the Good Lord shines down on us such a glaring and exquisite light that we mortals can only sit and bask in its otherworldly glow. For thousands of years, we have attempted to convey the beauty of this gift through art. Michelangelo painted grand works of brilliance. Robert Frost wrote poetry that made us feel all was precious and dear. Today, this humble blogger will endeavor to intimate what he has heard, and succeed in only sounding like a perverted 14-year-old boy. I have not been this excited since 1996, when Jenny McCarthy did that Rolling Stone cover holding the hot dog.
Lily Allen has signed on with Agent Provocateur to model their line of silky, male- stupefying lingerie. It’s the kind of stuff pin-up girls wear. Women like supermodel Kate Moss, Dita Von Teese and actress Maggie Gyllenhaal have come before her, hawking the material. Nerds and anglophiles like me all across this great land stand together in rejoicing. All of our prayers and drunken demands shouted at MTV2 have been heard and noted. We are living in the salad days of humanity.
“Hello, work? Yeah, um....my car broke down while I was taking my aunt to the hospital and she also died in the car. I can’t come in.” – Craig Hlavaty