You remember back to elementary school or junior high, when a new kid would move in from out of town, and through the course of trying to make friends and acclimate himself, the poor bastard just couldn't do anything right, and even when he did do something right, it still wasn't good enough? He was still on the receiving end of poking, prodding, and passive aggressive (or sometimes ultra aggressive) bullying.
Maybe you remember that kid. Hell, maybe, God forbid, you were that kid. If you were, then maybe you can empathize with Matt Schaub.
The former Texans and Raiders quarterback is now Joe Flacco's backup in Baltimore. For the first time in nearly a decade, Schaub isn't the starter heading into a preseason, so he's not being asked to do a whole lot in the grand scheme of things, especially when you consider that Joe Flacco is one of the most durable quarterbacks in the league. Just hold your clipboard and don't piss anybody off, Matt.
Here's the problem. Unlike elementary school or junior high, when you're the new kid, you don't come into an NFL locker room anonymously. The NFL structure ensures that you've crossed paths at one point or another with your new "classmates." So they know all your warts, and they may even have unresolved beef with you. In short, the NFL's playground can be a tough place for the Matt Schaubs of the world.
Enter Terrell Suggs, who seems to have made it his personal mission to mentally torture Schaub to the point of a mental breakdown, an eating disorder, or another poor facial hair decision. We know what happened early in Ravens' training camp, when Schaub seemed like he was trying to help every defensive back on the team make the 53 man roster with a wave of interceptions. At that time, Suggs sarcastically reminded Schaub what color jersey his receivers were wearing.
Now comes this past Saturday at practice, when even after a solid 11-18, 134 yard performance in Schaub's preseason debut Thursday night, a debut that included this touchdown pass….
….Suggs still won't let Matt Schaub have a moment's peace. Courtesy of the Carroll County Times:
Suggs' verbal jabs at Schaub continued Saturday, when the longest-tenured Raven laid into the backup quarterback after both good and bad plays. After Schaub threw a downfield pass out of bounds, Suggs began hurling shots Schaub’s way.
“Everything up until the throw looked really good,” he yelled at Schaub, who looked away and didn’t respond.
Then, later in practice, Schaub completed a touchdown pass to undrafted rookie DeAndre Carter, with safety Will Hill in coverage. Suggs did his best to comfort Hill.
“It’s OK, Will,” Suggs called out. “A broken clock is right twice a day.”
There were several other opportunities later in practice Saturday for Suggs to continue his onslaught, but considering Suggs took his cleats off with about an hour left in practice, he might have checked out and missed those chances.
I feel like we're a week away from a story of Schaub receiving an atomic wedgie or a swirly in the bathroom stall. I mean, does he dare have any lunch money in his pocket when Suggs is nearby? I know that right now Schaub's response is to "look away" and "[not] respond" (most Schaubby reaction ever, by the way), but how soon until he goes to the teacher and tells on Suggs? The "teacher" in this case is Ravens head coach John Harbaugh, who seems to be chock full of delusion when it comes to Matty Boy:
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Of course, this video has a long way to go to catch the most delusional Schaub video of all time….
Listen to Sean Pendergast on SportsRadio 610 from 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanTPendergast.