CAN THE SCHOOL STOP MY SON FROM MAKING A SONG?
Dear Willie D:
Today I felt a series of emotions after picking up my son, who is in his senior year of high school. First let me say he's an aspiring artist and a star student. So today he gets called out of class for the second time over a song he created. A diss track nonetheless, but well thought-out with an immaculate delivery.
The assistant principal actually pulled my son from his instructional time to confront him about the song. She told him the song falls under the guidelines of bullying. So here's my question: Does the school reserve the right to make him remove the song from his social-media sites? And I thought this was a free country where we have a right to freedom of speech? He never named anyone.
There really isn’t a clear-cut way to determine whether or not the school has a right to discipline students for material they post online because the lines between free speech and appropriate disciplinary action are so blurred. That said, if any of the lyrics contain threats or insults deemed disruptive of the school environment, most administrators are going to discipline first and answer questions later.
That said, there have been many cases where the school disciplined students for inappropriate online behavior, whereas the parents took action, and the courts reversed the administration’s decision to uphold the students First Amendment right to Freedom of Expression.
So if you feel your son was wronged and you think it’s important to stand for the cause, address it with the administration. If you’re not satisfied with their answer, take it to court.
I THINK MY MARRIAGE IS OVER. HELP!
Dear Willie D:
My wife and I have been married for three years, and I think it's over. She got romantically involved with a friend of mine. Nothing physical, but emotionally. I took her for granted for years and she said certain things were "pushing her away," but I didn't listen. I changed completely trying to get her back, and she didn't budge.
I love her so much, and I'd give anything to go back in time to redo those things, but all she's doing is stringing me along. She basically wants to "work on herself" and not think about the marriage right now. But I want to rebuild it because it's more about saving my family than my marriage, as I have two kids.
I've grown tired because I believe I've exhausted everything, and there is a thin line between resiliency and just being stupid. I don't want to be anybody's option. I've decided to give her one week. If I don't see a change, I'll file for divorce. What is your advice?
Sounds like you really messed up, man. But two wrongs don’t make a right. Becoming romantically involved in a relationship with your significant other’s friend is about as low as it gets. Hence you have to ask yourself, could you really let something like that go? I know I couldn’t.
Staying together for the kids’ sake is a bad idea because they will likely become what they witness. Kids are not dumb. Even if you and your wife conceal your true feelings for each other, your kids will get a sense that you’re not happy together. You may be able to fake love, but you can’t fake affection.
I REGRET HAVING A THREESOME WITH MY MAN
Dear Willie D:
I had a threesome with my man. Now he acts as though he has a perpetual pass to sleep with other women. Every few weeks, he brings up the idea of having another threesome with either the same girl or a new girl. He wants me to bring one of my friends home to share our bed.
We agreed that having a threesome would be a one-time thing, but he’s being greedy. He wants to have his cake and eat it, too. Whenever I get angry with him, he throws up the fact that it was my idea in the first place. When he does this, I feel guilty and blow it off. How can I get his mind off other women and focused back on me?
It’s not cool to make an agreement, and go back on your word regardless of the situation. I can understand your boyfriend requesting to taste the forbidden fruit again, maybe once or twice more, but to keep riding you about it is disrespectful and shows how little respect he has for your feelings.
Tell him when he talks about being with other women it makes you feel unwanted. Then remind him that you guys agreed having a threesome would be a one-off. Tell him you don’t want to hear about sharing your bed with another woman again, and if he continues with his requests, he can have another woman, but it won’t be with you because you’re going to leave him.
Be firm and don’t back down no matter what. Where do these type of guys come from, anyway? But I love men who can’t follow bedroom etiquette. Makes my job much easier.
WHY CAN’T I STOP BEING MEAN?
Dear Willie D:
Everybody says I’m mean, and I guess I am. I think I use my mean spirit as a defense mechanism so that people don’t try to take advantage of me. But I’m also impatient. When people aren’t doing things like I think they should be doing them, I get ruffled quickly.
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I don’t like being this way. Even when I’m being cognizant of my behavior, I still treat people mean. I need some real tools to use so that I don’t treat people evil. Any assistance would be appreciated.
Everybody wants to be treated with kindness and respect. Just treat people how you want to be treated, and you should be fine.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.