The other day I picked up a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey to flip through because I've apparently read every other book in existence and am now reduced to either this or Sarah Palin's memoirs. As I expected, it was pretty much crap, and not even good smut. Still, I can recognize when America is going through one of its Behind the Green Door, we're-all-talking-about-mainstream-porn phases, and as usual I'm here to help. You want some steamy sex in your literature? Try these.
Okay, reading House of Leaves for the sex scenes is like watching Requiem for a Dream to see Jennifer Connelly go ass to ass; it's just wrong. But amid the mindbending horror are at least two sex encounters that will start your hand traveling south. One has the narrator, out of nowhere, asked to ejaculate on the augmented breasts of an interview subject, but the real dirty gem can actually be heard in collaboration with Danielewski's sister Poe on a remix of "Hey Pretty."