John Royal’s NFL Picks: Channeling Madden and Picking the Giants Anyway

Well, the football season is almost over and there are only two games for me to screw up this weekend. So let’s see if I can apply my curse to one of the teams.

1. The Patriots are favored by 13.5 points over the Chargers. Look, I think I’ve made it pretty damn obvious that I don’t like the Patriots, or their coach, Bill Belichick. There’s just something wrong with your team when Randy Moss is the calm, even-keeled one. But they’re playing the Chargers. And the Chargers have a smart-ass QB who’s not that good and who’s injured and might not play. The Chargers have an all-world running back who is injured. The Chargers also have an all-world tight end who is also injured. Plus, have I mentioned Norv Turner? So, as much I hate the Patriots, I’m going to pick the Pats to win this thing in a runaway.

2. Then there’s the Giants visiting the Packers. Doesn’t it just seem wrong that it’s Peyton’s little brother who’s playing for the right to advance to the Super Bowl? And I can’t help but wonder if Tiki Barber’s willing to eat some crow for being such an asshole before the season started? But then there are the Packers and FAVRE. FAVRE IS THE QB FOR THE PACKERS SO THAT MAKES THEM THE BEST TEAM IN THE UNIVERSE BECAUSE BRETT FAVRE IS THE GREATEST HUMAN BEING EVER! GOD ISN’T AS GREAT AS BRETT FAVRE!

So, now that I’m done channeling John Madden, and even though the Pack is favored by seven points, I’m taking the Giants.

Mainly because a Brady-Favre Super Bowl will just be unbearable. – John Royal