Texans-Buccaneers: Go Team! Or Something…

Man, was that a painful game to watch, or what? At least I didn’t pay regular season prices for a pre-season exhibition, but I still felt like I overpaid even though I was watching the Texans on CW 39. The Texans lost the game – I think. I kept dozing off, so it’s kind of hard to tell, but I believe the final was 16-6. It should have been worse, but the Bucs kicker missed two field goals in the first half.

I don’t know what can really be learned from that game, for the average fan. I’m sure the coaches wanted to see how various guys who are on the bubble played, but most of the starting guys barely played – Matt Schaub never even left the bench. Ahman Green didn’t play, but he’s so confident he can play next week when it counts that he agreed to restructure his contract so that he loses about two million dollars.

The offense consisted, once again, of the foot of kicker Kris Brown who hit a field goal on the first drive of the game, then hit a field goal on the last drive of the first half. He was about the only person who looked impressive. Chris Simms treated the Texans second string defense like Drew Brees and Tony Romo treated the first string defense. The Texans special teams, aside from Brown, were awful, and allowed for an 83-yard punt return touchdown in the second quarter. The defense was so-so, and I’m sure that if someone other than Chris Simms had been playing lots of time for Bucs, then the Texans secondary would’ve been toasted on many an occasion.


The television broadcast team was bored, and they did just about everything imaginable to not talk about the game. But that didn’t stop Bob Allen from making a fool of himself. The Texans were apparently honoring Texas football greats last night. And during the fourth quarter, Bob Allen interviewed the man he called the biggest ever Texas football legend. Now, if you’re like me and you weren’t looking at the TV screen at the moment, you looked and assumed that he was about to interview Earl Campbell. Or Don Meredith. Or Don Maynard. Or Elvin Bethea.

Imagine my surprise to see him interviewing Jack Pardee.

I’m sorry. Pardee had a nice college and pro career. And he was an okay head coach. But he’s not the biggest legend in Texas football history.

****************** How’s this for getting fired up? Spencer Tillman thinks we should get fired up because the Texans are a mediocre team. He didn’t say they were mediocre, of course. But he kept stressing parity, and about how the NFL is about parity, about all teams having the same chance. Parity. Parity. Parity.

To me, parity is just another word for mediocre. And that sure has me fired up for the start of the season. Go Team!

And on a non-football note, I noticed that David Duchovny checked himself into a rehab clinic for an addiction to sex. Hell, if I was married to Tea Leoni, I’d be addicted to sex, too. But not me, I’m stuck at home watching the Texans lose. – John Royal